Reassurance

She lay on her left side, in the early morning hours – so early it was still dark as night, and floated along the contraction. They were not very strong yet, but she had automatically begun tracking them as soon as the first one woke her up. They had been fairly regular for over an hour now at about seven and half minutes apart.

Booth laid facing away from her, still sleeping soundly. She let her eyes focus on him for awhile. She liked to study him while he slept; she found it very soothing. When he slept, his body was finally completely relaxed and showed little movement unlike his awake state, where some part of him was always active. She remembered making some sort of comment about it to Sweets a long time ago, and he had told her it was a coping mechanism, a way to keep a rein on his emotions. He was likely unaware of his actions, having sublimated the coping technique many years ago.

But now, now he was still but for his steady, rhythmic breaths. The ones that she knew he would want to help her maintain when the contractions became stronger. And she knew she should wake him now, that he would want to be part of every moment. She wanted him to be part of this, too, and she wanted to wake him, but not just yet. She wanted these moments, these final moments of being as close to on her own as she would probably ever have again. Angela was right about how she had felt nervous from her family and foster family past. Booth was right about how they were a family now. But in spite of all this, she liked the moments she did not have to share with anyone, the moments that were still hers and hers alone.

Seven minutes. The interval between the contractions had decreased that time.

She was glad that Booth's back was to her, because if she saw his face, even if his eyes were closed, she would have felt the pull to wake him right away. She still had time. But not much, and this sent a sudden wave of panic through her. She would never be alone again. There would be continual demands for her attention, continual expectations that she do and say the right thing. What if just being herself wasn't enough? She felt most sure of herself when she was on her own. There was no one to dictate what she should feel or do. And now, for as much as she already loved her daughter, this soon-to-be newborn would become yet another person in charge of her behavior.

Booth stirred, rolled onto his back, and his face turned to hers, though he still slept. Even with his eyes closed, they were reassuring and calmed her fears. It also made her realize that she was ready to share the experience with him. She placed a gentle hand on his arm. "Booth."

His eyes opened immediately and she could see the recognition in his expression. He jumped out of bed. "What? Is it time?" She smiled as she watched him scramble to find his pants and when she started chuckling at him, he paused and looked at her. "It's not time?"

"I am having contractions, yes, and they are evenly spaced apart so yes, I believe labor has started."

"Okay, so do you want me to help you get dressed?"

"No. Labor has started, Booth, but it's not time to go."

He stood uncertainly, clothes in his hand. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Okay." He stood a moment more before dropping his clothes and slid back into bed next to her. "So… you woke me so I could share this with you?"

"Yes. Although, I admit that I didn't wake you right away. I've been experiencing the contractions for 93 minutes. Does that upset you?"

He smiled that crooked grin of his that she secretly believed he only did for her. "No. Just… are you okay?"

She was going to say she felt quite well and that her body was responding adequately to the situation, but stopped herself as she realized that this was not what he meant. "You mean am I okay emotionally? You want to make sure that the fact that I chose not to wake you was not because of some difficult emotional mood that I was experiencing?" Seeing his amused grin, she continued, "Yes, Booth. I am okay." She placed a hand on his chest. "I am a little concerned about you, however. Your heart is beating at a very high rate and you've been taking very rapid, shallow breaths."

He chuckled. "I'm excited, Bones. We're going to see our daughter today. And I'm nervous. I feel like we should be going to the hospital right now."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"I'd rather spend this time with you here, in the quiet of our home while we can before losing what is ours to everyone else."

He took her hand from his chest. "This will always be ours. No one can take that away from us. But I will trust you that we don't have to go just yet. I'm just glad you didn't leave without me and decide to just call me after she was born."

His eyes twinkled at her, convincing her that he was joking. She smiled, then exclaimed, "Oh."

"Oh? What? Are you okay?"

"Yes. That last contraction was stronger. But it's okay. That's exactly what is supposed to happen."

"Do you want to get up and move around? Want me to help you change positions? What can I do?"

"I will, but not yet. I like this, lying here with you." In truth, she was starting to get a little uncomfortable having been in one position for so long, but Booth always talked about having their "moments" and this seemed like one to her. She was reluctant to break it.

"Booth?"

"Yeah?"

"I would never have chosen to do this part without you."

"I was joking before, Bones. I know you wouldn't."

"I know you were joking, but I'm not choosing to do this with you for your sake. I want you to be here with me. Even when I want to be alone and do things on my own, I don't actually want to be without you." She sighed in frustration at not being able to explain what she meant. "That makes no logical sense, I know—"

"I get it. And according to you I'm not logical, right? Which means I understood exactly what you meant. I'm always gonna be here, okay?"

"Even when I tell you to go away and leave me alone?"

"I'll always come back. I always have, haven't I?"

"You'll come back because of our daughter."

"I'm that guy, Bones. Remember? I'll come back because of you." He held her gaze. "Right?"

"Yes," she told him.

"Will you be really annoyed with me if I kissed you right now?"

"I'd like that very much. And then I'd like very much to get up and get ready to go to the hospital since my water broke a couple of minutes ago."

"What? Geez, Bones, why didn't you say something?" He jumped up again to get dressed.

"I believe I said something just now. But, Booth," she added in a complaining tone as she pushed herself up to a sitting position.

"What?"

"You forgot the kiss."

He came around to her, leaned in and placed his hands along her hips. "I love you."

He grinned widely when she replied before accepting his kiss, "I know."