Hey guys—I noticed a lot of people have been waiting to hear about Remus, so I thought I'd show that next. Please let me know how you like it—I haven't read very many stories that ever address the issue this way.
With each month that passed, the Marauders became increasingly hard-pressed to find ways to hide Remus's condition from Harry. All-too-soon, it would be time to leave for another night of frolicking about on the grounds under the full moon, and Remus, Sirius, James and Peter would leave Harry alone in the dorm by himself the whole night.
While Peter really didn't mind that Remus's secret had been kept between just the four of them, the other three members of the Marauders had been feeling increasingly bad about the deception. Harry had become a close friend to the boys in the months he had been there, and every time they came up with a new excuse to leave him behind, they spent the entire night feeling the impressive weight of guilt.
Remus, especially, was suffering under an extreme amount of guilt, not only for lying to Harry, but also for making James and Sirius feel so guilty about keeping his secret. It was true enough that Harry would probably understand, and true enough that he would likely even support his friend, but Remus still couldn't bring himself to risk it by exposing what he was to Harry and chancing that Harry would want to remain his friend. What if he became angry with him, for lying to him for so long? What if he became upset because the Marauders transformed and went together every full moon, and he alone was left out?
Plus, Harry was so often concerned about Remus, and for Remus's well being, that he couldn't help the stabs of anxiety he felt every time he thought of his deceit. Every month as the full moon approached, Harry would ask Remus if he could help him feel better in any way, bringing him specific things to eat or drink from the kitchen and retrieving pain-relieving potions from Madam Pomfrey after the full moon passed.
Then there was Lily, who was much more intelligent and perceptive than even Remus had suspected. The two had grown much closer since Lily had begun hanging out with Harry and accepting the Marauders as friends, and the friendship was a very welcome one. Few of the girls that Lily knew were really comfortable around her, Remus knew, because she was so intelligent and cared so little for physical appearances. It didn't help that many of those girls had a crush on James Potter, who had suddenly stopped dating about and randomly snogging various girls, and everyone knew that James had a huge crush on the adorable redhead.
It was all of this that Remus was contemplating the day before the full moon when both of the people he was thinking about came to sit with him in the library. Without saying a word, the two pulled out their own books to read while Remus blankly stared at his own, trying to nerve himself up enough to talk normally around them.
"How are you feeling today, Remus?" Harry asked, his eyes concerned. Remus swallowed hard, blinking suddenly blurry eyes a couple times to wake up, and tried his hardest to answer positively.
"I think I might be getting a little better," he tried, swallowing afterwards around the lump that was forming in his throat. He hated how emotional his transformation made him. It was part of how the Marauders had figured Remus out before—by watching his emotions and what set him off, and then using that to figure out what he was hiding.
"You don't look it," Lily told him sharply, her keen green eyes evaluating his physical condition. "You look positively green."
Green. Remus noted with some humor and a tinge of hysteria that having two sets of piercing, perceptive green eyes staring at him keenly was more than a little disconcerting—it was downright petrifying.
He also noticed, in the back of his mind, that not only were both Harry and Lily's eyes the same color; they were also the same shape. He couldn't think about that now, not with both sets of those eyes staring at him. He would have to consider it much later on.
"I think I might need the hospital wing," he admitted to his friends, hating to show the weakness that he always felt just before the transformation. It had been becoming darker increasingly early as the months passed, and with the cold, brutal weather outside, Remus was feeling the ill effects of the transformation a little more than he normally would have done. It was a little better though, he admitted, that it was Lily and Harry witnessing his weakness and not the Marauders. For some reason, he didn't feel the need to prove his masculinity around those two.
Lily helped him to stand up while Harry calmly collected Remus's books, and the three slowly set off for the Hospital Wing, walking at a comfortable pace so that Remus wouldn't have to get winded. He became aware that it had grown a lot later in the day than he had previously thought while he had been lost in his own little world in the library, and Remus began to walk just a little bit faster. Harry and Lily both noticed this immediately, and without a word, the two began to speed up to evenly match his pace.
When they reached the Hospital Wing, Remus hesitated, realizing that Pomfrey would probably be waiting for him in there. The Marauders, who knew about what he was, normally were the only ones to accompany him, so this wasn't a problem that he had to explain. It would be if Lily and Harry took him in there.
Sensing his distress, Harry and Lily both stopped, and Harry offered his future professor a small smile. "It'll be okay, Remus. You'll feel better tomorrow, and you'll be back to yourself again in no time." Harry reassured him, seeing Lily nod out of the corner of his eyes.
Remus's amber eyes studied both of their faces and his forehead creased in thought. "You two have been very good friends to me recently. Both of you. You're very important to me."
"We know," Lily told him patiently, her voice kind.
"I want to tell you—" Remus started, his voice shaking.
"No, Remus, I mean, we know." Lily said evenly, her own voice completely calm. "We've both known, for a little while." She offered him a timid smile, while Harry tried to calm his own racing heart as he analyzed Remus's face. Harry was a little worried that the Marauder would panic upon this announcement, or become angry that they'd figured it out and defensive of what he was. Instead, all he saw on Remus's face was shock, concern, and a vast amount of relief.
"You've known?" He asked, sounding stunned. "You've known for a while, and you've never said anything about it?"
"Everyone deserves to have their secrets," Harry answered carefully, thinking of his own precious secrets that he'd rather no one know. Remus studied both their faces, lingering on Harry's for a while longer than the Boy-Who-Lived was comfortable with, before asking,
"Is it…are you both alright with it?"
"You're still Remus in the morning." Lily answered compassionately, her own voice a little thick with emotion. "So we're not going to treat you like anyone or anything else."
Harry smiled, still thrilled that his mother shared his opinion regarding Remus's condition. He thought it might have something to do with growing up in the muggle world, that both he and his mother were so open to Remus turning into a werewolf once a month when so many brave wizards that he'd met cowered at the word.
"We realized about the time you get sick, and remembered your Marauder nickname, and put two and two together," he explained, not wanting his future professor and current friend to panic. "I doubt that anyone who didn't know you fairly well could figure it would at all," he assured him, feeling better when he saw Remus visibly sag in relief.
"Thank goodness—I really didn't want to have to say it, and I'd hate to have to share that information with someone else too," Remus said, the guilt that he had been feeling for months evaporating. "You're both very good friends," he added gratefully, his body tensing as the grounds started to be bathed in the setting sun. He could see the fresh, powdery snow outside calling out the window, and knew he'd have to hurry to get to the shack in time.
"So are you," Harry said, smiling and turning to leave. "Have fun. See you in the morning."
It was only as Remus walked down to the shack that he began to puzzle over his friend's words. Harry had said that he had been friends with a werewolf before. Surely he knew that the transformation was overwhelmingly painful, and that there was nothing pleasant about the experience. He couldn't know that the Marauders romped about the grounds, because although he knew about Remus's condition, he didn't know that James, Sirius and Peter were all able to become animals with Remus.
Could he?
As Remus transformed, he put both the mystery of how identical Lily and Harry's eyes were and the puzzle of how Harry had known he would enjoy himself tonight with his friends in the back of his mind. Harry was right Everyone deserves to have their secrets—and Remus couldn't help but think, remembering the sad and lost look that Harry sometimes had on his face, that some secrets might be better left unspoken.
