We sat around the captive, Patricia R. She was tied to Felix, who we would also kill. Patricia was madly in love with Jacob, but claims that she is also madly in love with Edward. She knew our vampiric secrets. Her handbook: the Twilight Saga.

Aro: That makes no sense!

Trisha: I can love two people, can't I?

Demetri: No!

Trisha: Why not?

Demetri: Cuz I said so.

Trisha: You like Heidi and Renata, don't you?

Heidi: Excuse me?!?

Demetri: No, Heidi, this woman is crazy! Kill her, Aro, kill her! Then feed her to Caius!

Caius: Pika?!?

Demetri: You haven't eaten in a while.

A blonde haired girl comes in and shot me with a gun. "My name is Julia S. and I hate Jane! Mwuhahahahahaha!!! Mi was wrong—Jacob is better than Jane!"

An Asian girl came in. "Julia, be quiet. Jane is better than Jacob. By a lot."

I watched their conversation, dumbstruck. "You did not just say that!" Patricia and Julia screamed.

The Asian girl yawned. "I did. Deal with it. Umm, I'm gonna take a nap and—"

Another Asian girl came in. "Lily Evans is better than Jane and Jacob!"

Everyone gasped. "A Harry Potter fan! I didn't think they existed!"

A weird looking mushroom-shaped Asian kid came in. "Look! We're doing a class play on Twilight!"

"What the heck are you talki—" I started.

"Shh. Let us hear him out. This could be interesting," Aro mused.

Mushroom kid pulls out a piece of paper. "Eh hem. Ryan will be Aro,"—Aro clapped in delight—"Julia will be Jane, William will be Vladimir, Monique will be Rosalie, Mia will be Alice…"

He droned on and on. Boring. Caius threw a knife at the mushroom kid and ended his short life. Oh well.

"Spiderman, Spiderman. Does whatever a spider can," sang a random voice. "Dora, Dora, Dora the explorer. It's a big world. Such a big, big world."

Everyone turned to a corner in the room where Afton was listening to his iPod. "I feel connected, protected, it's like you're sitting right with me all the time."

"I'm ashamed to call him my mate," Chelsea said.

Afton started singing louder. "Don't call me, leave me alone, not gonna answer my phone. Cuz I don't, no I won't see you. I'm out to have a good time, to get you off of my mind. Cuz I don't and I won't need you."

Everyone stared in disbelief.

"Hey boy, don't you wish you could have been a good boy? Try to find another girl like me, boy. Feel me when I tell ya I am fine and it's time for me to draw the line," he sang.

"Could it be?" Felix asked.

"That…" Renata whispered.

"Afton is gay?!?" everyone screamed.

"No, no, no! He's not! He's just…strange!" Chelsea yelled.

Aro frowned. "It's hard to believe something that comes from one who is the girlfriend of a gay."

"HE"S NOT GAY!" she screamed.

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