Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly!
A/N: OKAY, EVERYBODY! THIS IS SERIOUS NEWS! I am in desperate need of a beta, so if you feel you're up to it, please feel free to PM me or review that you are willing! Thank you!!
Seven Hundred Fifty Hours
Chapter Four:
Deception
(The Rest of Day 2, and the Beginning of Day 3)
The Author
Electricity coursed through his veins, ripping through the flesh and causing his heart to pound erratically in his chest.
The kiss burned deep in his throat and he ached for more, driving himself into her awaiting arms and shoving his tongue through her parted lips.
'God...why can't this last forever?'
His eyelids lifted to reveal chocolate brown irises, watching with fascination at Sam's changing expressions as she inwardly debated with herself. His arms were still spread out and pinned to the wall, but Sam's hands slowly and surely began to release them. She stood up on her tippy-toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her.
She tugged on his lower lip with her teeth and his breath caught. She wiggled his legs in between hers and swiftly pushed against his groin, the friction sending his mind swirling with stars dotting along his eyes.
"Ugh, Sam..." He groaned, throwing his head back only to have it slide down the wall. Sam, in turn, pulled at his hair, retrieving the electricity in his veins he thought lost.
A door further down the stairs slammed and Sam's eyes snapped open, pulling away and detaching herself from Freddie's arms at lightning speed.
She shakily reached for her lips, "Oh...my god. I made out with the dork."
Flames sparkled in her eyes.
"I made out with YOU!"
Then she turned and ran.
"Sam! Wait, come back! SAM!"
--
Freddie Benson
This is not good. I'm supposed to be her babysitter and I ended up mauling her like a lion. Plus, she'll never forgive me. I know about these kinds of things- about women. My mother was often upset by feral men, and I almost snorted at the idea of thinking that I was anything more ferocious than a bunny rabbit.
I ran down the stairs after her, calling her name, screaming it, but she wouldn't have it.
"No, Freddie! Don't talk to me!" She shouted, pausing on the stairs and clutching the railing with such strength her knuckles turned white.
"Why, Sam? Why won't you talk to me?" I asked with as little desperation as I could manage, trying to sound calm for her. I so badly wanted to lose it like she was, but I just couldn't.
"Because you kissed me, dork! You kissed me and I kissed you back and, and-" She stuttered, looking for an excuse, "-you're supposed to like Carly!"
I sighed, I knew she was right. I was endangering our friendship with all of my stupid hormones. I was disrupting the flow that we were all so used to. I love Carly, Carly only likes me as a friend, and Sam is the funny one that is allowed to be with whoever wants her.
But if only that could change.
"I know, Sam. I'm sorry, it was wrong to kiss you without thinking about how you would feel. Will you please forgive me?"
She hesitated, as if she was having an inner battle with herself. I could tell she wasn't going to take me back, she was hurt and devastat-
"Fine. I forgive you."
This response jolted me backward, and I grabbed the railing to steady myself.
"T-t-thank you. Sam. Thank you." She gave me a small half-smile, and I returned the gesture.
Maybe I don't understand women as much as I thought I did.
"Now, let's get me home before my parents get home."
I ran a hand through my hair, leading her out the door and holding it open for her. Thankfully Lewbert had fallen asleep.
She tripped me as I walked towards the bus stop with her, and I looked up curiously and dejectedly, but she gave me a playful smirk, reminding me of the beautiful lips I had just ravaged. At that moment, I knew she would be the most difficult person I had ever babysat.
I ran a hand through my hair as I entered the steaming bus after her.
I am so fired.
--
"Don't get lost now, Freddie. The bus is very big and your small-ish brain might not be able handle all of the stimulation."
I flushed at the mention of "not being able to handle stimulation", and inwardly had to agree with her. I shook my head to rid myself of my hormonally-challenged thoughts.
'I am such a horny dog nowadays!' I ranted in my thoughts.
The bus was relatively empty, save for the bus driver and a harmless middle-aged woman in the second-to-first seat near the front. Of course, Sam had to sit in the backseat, drawing up even more perverted thoughts.
Hot skin soft lips whispered nothings -
I gulped loudly and sat down next to her as she leaned against the side of the bus and spread her legs out comfortably in front of her.
"So...why'd you run away to Carly's anyway?" I asked.
She snorted, "To get away from you, obviously." I watched as she rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath, something that sounded very close to "among other things".
"So, why did you kiss me?" I choked on my saliva and looked at her with desperation.
"What is this-twenty questions?" I shot back at her, hoping that she would understand the raging hormones of puberty and drop the subject.
She did, though probably without the understanding I hoped she would have.
"Fine, but don't expect me to let this go."
The bus came to a slow stop and Sam flipped the bus driver a quarter, and he winked at her. I shuddered and led her away from the man who's gaze lingered far below her blonde hair.
We raced towards her house as the bus pulled away, and threw open the front door, hoping to find a normal position that wouldn't make her parents suspicious. We ended up sitting on the floor in the center of the hallway, playing paddy cake for some strange reason.
Tires rolled into the gravelly driveway and the front door swung open the very second the grandfather clock struck ten, revealing Sam's parents and my mother.
"Hello, Fredward! Did you enjoy your time babysitting my little cream puff?" I groaned lowly and heard Sam chuckle opposite from me.
"'Cream puff'?" She mocked under her breath, resulting in me sending her an annoyed glare. She only giggled in return.
--
Samantha Puckett
I could tell he was upset by the pet name his mother had recently (and oh, so beautifully, said my cynical inner-prankster.) referred to him as, but frankly, I didn't care.
As soon as he was in the doorway, his mother was halfway down towards her car, and my parents had gone upstairs to sleep, I stopped him.
"Freddie," I called, jogging up to him.
He turned around and gave me an indescribable look, but I ignored him anyway. I gave him my trademark smirk and put my hands on my hips.
"You're a pretty good kisser." I said nonchalantly, once again ignoring his gaping, nerdy face and shutting the door with a grin.
That'll teach him to mess with The Sam of Ham, ruler of everything.
--
In the morning, the sun was too bright.
"I hate my liiiiiiiiife." I groaned loud enough for my parents to hear, hoping they would realize that it was completely unfair for me to have a babysitter, though I-thankfully-did not have to deal with him, for it is glorious, wonderful Saturday.
I rolled out of bed and hit the floor with a thump, staggering towards the shower. As soon as the heat-blasted water hit me, I sighed with absolute relaxation. I turned the knobs and shut it off, as reluctant as I was, and stepped out of the shower towards my closet, a fluffy pink towel wrapped around myself.
I picked out a casual outfit and dragged myself down the stairs, sitting down at the kitchen table with a grunt. The smell of sausage and eggs wafted throughout the room and my heart fluttered at the thought of a delicious breakfast before iCarly.
"Here you go, sweetheart." My mom said cheerily, and I raised a brow. My dad always does the cooking in the morning-my mom sleeps 'till noon, what's with the sudden change? I voiced these thoughts, but not before thanking my mother graciously for the food.
She smiled at me, half-hearted. "Now, darling." She paused, mid-smile, to start her sentence over again. "Pumpkin, I-well, we know that this will be a little upsetting, but remember-you are grounded from going over to Carly's, and I'm sorry, but that means no iCarly." My mouth dropped open, but she continued, much to my horror. "And since you will be here alone since-as you know- your father and I have an important business trip until midnight tonight, we will have to leave you with Freddie. Your babysitter."
I was absolutely speechless. There wasn't any word in the English dictionary at how utterly upset and mortified I was. Not only was I forced to stay home and miss iCarly, but so was the dork-but in MY house!
The front door swung open and I sniffed the nostalgia in the air from the first day he arrived.
My mom and dad gave me quick hugs and kisses and were out the door before I could even comprehend the suckishness of the entire situation.
The dork took a seat next to me at the wooden dining table, and I glared at him, inwardly smiling with satisfaction at his slight cower.
I twirled the eggs with my fork and spoke at the same time. "We meet again, Fredward."
(A/N: I ALMOST ended it there, bwuahahaha!)
--
Freddie Benson
I knew for a fact that she was not happy to see me, but that was expected-it was Sam, after all. She stabbed and cut up her sausage with such malice that I feared that she was imagining it was my genitals.
"Sam, please stop castrating me with your eyes." I said, slicing the tension with my witty banter.
I am such an idiot.
She let out a loud laugh, "Only if you stop undressing me with yours." She shot back, and I gulped.
"I am not!" I shouted indignantly, but she only rolled her eyes.
"So, you're planning on missing iCarly, too?" She asked, and I shrugged. At that moment, my cell phone rang, blasting "7 Things" by Miley Cyrus.
"The seven things I like about you your hair your eyes your old levis-" I answered the phone.
"Hello?" I ignored the curious look Sam gave me at the ringtone.
"Freddie- is Sam with you?"
"Yes."
"Put me on speaker!"
I complied and saw a look of realization flash in Sam's eyes at the sound of Carly's voice. I looked up at her and she adverted her gaze.
"Sam!"
She seemed to snap back to reality when Carly called her name.
"Yeah?" She responded lazily.
"What are we gonna do about iCarly with you and Freddie gone? Should we do it there?"
I had to intervene-iCarly couldn't be here. My mom watches our webshow (to check up on me and make sure I'm not being molested or eating bad corn- I don't understand her either, believe me.), and I knew that she would give me so many groundings if she found out I used Sam's house while I was "on duty" to shoot iCarly.
"Carly, we can't. My mom'll find out."
She gave a frustrated sigh from the other line.
"Then what are we going to do!? I can't do iCarly without you two!"
"Sorry Carly," I said regretfully. "Try to get Spencer to help! Maybe you guys can do some segments or something. I'll try to get over there later and see if I can help with a few things."
She breathed an, "Okay." and said goodbye to both of us.
It was silent after Carly had hung up.
"So..." Sam said casually, giving me a strange look.
"What?"
"Your ringtone for Carly is a Miley Cyrus love song?"
"Well, no- I mean, maybe! I don't know, I just set it to that for some reason..." I was not going to admit that I liked that song. Never in a million years. Sam would tease me until the end of the world.
"Sure, sure." She muttered under her breath.
"Well if you're so sure of yourself, what's your ringtone for me?" I asked her, crossing my arms and leaning back in the wooden chair.
She picked up her cell phone, turned it on, and searched in her list of contacts. She apparently found my name and clicked the "OK" button in the center.
"You're so gay and you don't even like boys, no you don't even like, no you don't even like...PENIS!" I jumped at the ending, causing the chair to tip back. I yelped, reaching out for a restraint, but no luck. I clattered to the floor in a big heap.
Sam's laugh rang throughout the room, twinkling with amusement at my misfortune. "You break it, you buy it, geek!"
I set my head back down on the floor in embarrassment.
Could this day get any worse?
--
The Author
Don'tMessWithTheBest has signed on at 10:37am.
Sam scanned the list of people that were on her buddy list. Despite the fact that she was violent, she did have other friends besides Carly and Freddie. She scrolled past Harley's screenname, past Carly's, and went all the way down the bottom of the list before it reached the "offline" list. Her cursor hovered over the username.
RipOffRod has been online for 16 min.
Sam cracked her knuckles, pulling up an IM with her neighbor.
Don'tMessWithTheBest: Hey, Rodney. I heared about your understudy-ship for the nerd.
RipOffRod: Haha, so you have. What's up, ya need anything?
Don'tMessWithTheBest: Yeah, I need a favor.
RipOffRod: Fine, but I want something in return.
Don'tMessWithTheBest: What'dyou want?
RipOffRod: A date to the dance?
Don'tMessWithTheBest: Works for me.
RipOffRod: Broke?
Don'tMessWithTheBest: Ham sandwiches don't pay for themselves.
Don'tMessWithTheBest: Now, for my side of the deal. I need you to come over and dress up as me to ward off the nerd so I can get out of the house and do iCarly.
RipOffRod: Fine, I'll be there in a sec, just get to your window and I'll swing the ladder over.
Don'tMessWithTheBest: No problem.
Don'tMessWithTheBest has signed off at 10:52am.
RipOffRod is away. "Doing business. Leave your number. Johnny, you still owe me thirty bucks. I'm watching you."
--
Samantha Puckett
Alright. Unhook latch, open window, wait for the signal from Rodney.
See, Rodney and I are neighbors, and his room's window is about six feet from mine, making it easy for us to communicate deals.
His window slid open and I smirked, "Make sure to keep the noise down when you get inside, unless you want Freddie to get suspicious?"
Rodney kept a steady gaze, "Don't worry, cupcake. We've done this enough times to fool even you." I rolled my eyes and pulled at the ladder that he brought out, latching the hooks onto the side of the window frame.
"Come on over, Rodney. Be careful, though. We don't need a repeat of last time." He shuddered, remembering the time he had slipped up the first time we tried this and had to monkey-bar-it across. Thirty feet above the ground.
Rodney stepped with careful grace into my room, lowering the ladder down to the ground as he leaned over the window sill. "There you go, dollface. Now where's the wig?" I handed him the curly-haired blonde wig and he adjusted it over his poofy black hair. He took off his glasses and shoved them into the pocket of his tight-fitted khakis, covering it with the dark t-shirt he wore.
"Well, at least you dressed for the part this time." I commented and he scratched his head laughing at the memory of the time he had worn a pink bunny shirt that belonged to his older sister Tiffany.
"Let's just get this over with, dollface."
I nodded and went towards the window, but stopped as "Everything I'm Not" by The Veronicas blasted from Rodney's other pocket. He pulled out a small silver flip phone and hit the red off button.
I rose an eyebrow, "What was that?"
He shrugged as if it was obvious, "Chicks like guys who listen to chick music." I chuckled at his behavior and stiffened at the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. I could see him tense, too, and waved him towards my bed.
"Get in!" I whispered shrilly, and he quirked his eyebrows up. Pervert. I glared at him and he grinned, jumping under the covers as I lowered myself under the window on the ladder.
There was a knock on the door and Rodney replied to it in that perfected Sam-voice of his. "Don't come in!"
I could almost hear Freddie frown from the other side of the door. "I'm changing!" Rodney called again.
Freddie stuttered and I giggled quietly, covering my mouth with my hand just in case.
I heard Rodney step out from under the covers and go over near the door. "What do you want?" He shouted in my voice, and I smirked at how good he really was at it.
"I want to know what that noise was. Are you done changing?" Freddie called.
"It was my cell phone, and no, I'm not!"
--
Freddie Benson
Sam is acting weird, why is she taking so long to get changed?
"I want to know what that noise was. Are you done changing?" I began to sweat at the uncomfortable question, but I had to ask. I need to get in there to see if she's okay.
"It was my cell phone, and no, I'm not!" She called back to me, and I glared at the door. Something is up, and as a babysitter, it is my duty to see what it is.
I flung the door open and Sam's mouth fell open in shock, she turned around so she wouldn't have to face me and hunched over. I rose an eyebrow.
"Sam, what are you doing?" I grabbed her shoulder and she flinched away from it, so I put it back down by my side.
"Sam, are you alright? Tell me what's wrong." I moved towards her. "Sam, I-" I heard her sob and my eyes widened. Was she-
Crying?
"Leave me alone, nerd!" She said, her voice wavering. My heart called out to her.
I grabbed her shoulder and turned her around, slamming my mouth against hers. Her dark brown eyes widened and she pulled away, coughing and clutching her throat. She backed up until she eventually fell to the floor, her blonde wig sliding down her shoulders and onto the carpet.
Wait a minute.
Dark eyes, blonde wig? This wasn't Sam, I hadn't kissed Sam, I had kissed-
"RODNEY?"
--
Rodney Sullivan
Damnit. Sam owes me so bad.