OMG I'm dying of happiness! Dakota's Jane! Right now I'm hyperventilating like crazy. Okies…
I stared at the computer. I couldn't believe my eyes. Dakota Fanning. Is. Playing. Me.
"ALEC!" I screamed.
He rushed in, a scared look on his face. "I didn't do it!"
"What?" I asked.
"Oh! Uh…Never mind. What did you want to tell me?" he asked.
"Dakota Fanning's playing me!" I screeched.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so jealous!" he screamed. "Why couldn't she play me?"
"Because you're not a female," I said.
"Oh, really?" he asked.
"Really," I said, smirking.
"But I'll always be more feminine than you, Janie," he said, smiling a smile that did make him look like a girl.
"I CAN BE GIRLY!" I screamed.
"You…can be girly? No, no, no. Bad mental image," he said.
"Well, I can. And I'm not going to prove it," I said.
"Why?" he asked
"Cuz I can't," I admitted.
"We have to go to class. Let's go," he said, laughing uncontrollably.
* * *
"If there are three kitties, and one gets hit by a truck, how many kitties are there?" asked our teacher.
"Wisconsin?" Felix asked.
"No, Felix. That doesn't make sense at all," said our teacher.
"As Albert Einstein once said, 'The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits,'" Renata quoted, smiling at the ceiling.
"Excuse me?" Felix said.
"You can be excused," she said, waving her hand.
"Ugh! I hate you!" Felix screamed.
"Quiet down, kids," said the teacher. "Does anyone have an answer?"
Alec raised his hand and said, "Two?"
The teacher laughed a donkey-like laugh. "I never said that the kitty died! I crack myself up. Next question. Okay, there are—Demetri! Why are you late?!?"
Demetri had just walked into class. "I'd love to go out with you!"
"What in the name of all things sane does that mean?"
"I like whales."
"Boy, go see a doctor!"
"My name is Helen."
"You're a boy!"
"Food is edible."
"Of course it is!"
Heidi came in, holding hands with a nerdy human. Our teacher narrowed his eyes and asked, "Heidi, would you like to introduce us to your friend?"
"This is John."
"Yes, and?"
"John's a person."
"That's not very descriptive, Heidi."
"Wonder pets, wonder pets, we're on our way to help a baby animal and save the day. We're not too big, and we're not too tough. But when we work together we've got the right stuff! GO Wonder Pets! YAY!" Afton screeched.
"Afton, shut up," Chelsea muttered.
"Chelsea honey, guess what?"
"What?"
"I have a new favorite band."
"Oh no."
"The Doodlebops!"
"Noooooo!!!"
Aro came out of nowhere and shrugged. "He really is gay."
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