Yeah so this is Lon's Birth Chapter DON'T READ IF YOU'VE HAD KIDS BEFORE OR ARE

VERY TERRIFIED OF WRITTEN SCREAMING. I'm not sure it's accurate because I've never had

kids before, but For those who have, good job on surviving that pain and bringing life into the world.

But I am not sure it's accurate and hopefully I will never have to find out how accurate it is.

The Birth of a Smeet (DON'T READ IF YOU'VE HAD KIDS BEFORE. BECAUSE I

HAVEN'T)

Narrator

Of course another uneventful week passed. And Yet it seemed as though I'd never find anything to

do again, until today, when an event that Most likely would eventually send me, Quinn, Sumera, and

Anyone else who I know their name into a chase. A chase for a smeet. It started at 7:00, Lea was

playing Hookie and staying at the base, because she hated Skool. Tak was there because the smeet, was

actually a week late. It was Friday, and to her it felt like Monday.

Tak (DON'T READ IF YOU'VE HAD KIDS I'M NOT JOKING)

I lied down on the couch more tired than usual, of course I think little of it. "Your life is boring I

want to go back to Devastis" Lea complained bored. I rolled my eyes wincing from the fact that the

smeet had been kick happy ever since it realized 'Hey! I have limbs! I'ma beat everything up!' Only

this time it hurt. Not much, but enough for me to lie down in discomfort, it hurt more every time

though. "Then GO back." I hissed. "Moody? I'm not going back! Besides then I wouldn't be able to

watch something impossible happen!" Lea said making a joke. "Hey! I don't like you calling it

impossible I've been carrying this thing for 5 weeks. It's not impossible, just unpleasant" I snapped

wincing. "Are you okay you've been wincing like every 20 minutes." Lea asked walking towards me.

"It's just the smeet. It thinks it's a kung fu master or something" I hissed dismissing it. Lea cocked her

head. "You know, I kind of doubt that." She sighed. " It's nothing okay?" I hissed. "You said that when

you were vomiting 5 weeks ago! If anything happens to the smeet who do you think Zim will blame?

Me or You? The girlfriend or the Homicidal Maniac?" Lea hissed. "Fine, but just to show you it's

nothing, Computer!" I hissed wincing. "What?" It asked annoyed. "Scan me." I hissed. "Hey, wait Tak

what if it's trying to come out?" Lea asked popping up. "According to computer that hurts a lot more"

I said. "Everything winds up Tak it looks like it hurts more every time you wince" Lea said. I winced.

"Okay fine it hurts a lot. But I'm trained to have a high tolerance of pain. Not like what computer

said." I hissed. Lea rolled her eyes. "Mimi go to Skool and get Zim, kidnap him if you have to, maybe

whack him, bag him, and drag him if you want to." Lea ordered. "Can I hurt him for resistance?" Mimi

asked. "His girlfriends having his smeet! You think He'll...Okay fine." Lea said to Mimi. Mimi smiled

and ran off. "Mini M you too." Lea ordered. Mini Mi meowed, licked my hand and ran off

understanding. I winced again glaring at computer. I lied back down on the couch hoping the pain will

stop. "So you done with the scan yet computer?" I hissed. "Mmyep I was waiting for you to ask. Yeah

the uh smeet's trying to get out." Computer answered in a monotone, but sounding amused. "So you

going to take me to the med bay or will this couch be stained green by the end of the day?" I hissed

wincing and whimpering a little. "Fine." Computer sighed. The couch slowly lowered down into the

med bay and Lea jumped down onto the platform. "You know what Tak? This is the second time that

a non-invader's been right about stuff an Invader should have been smart enough to infer." Lea laughed.

"If you don't shut up the only blood in the med lab will be yours." I hissed grabbing her arm. Lea
pulled away quickly and laughed nervously. "So how much does that hurt, to an invader with High

pain tolerance?" She asked. "A lot. Kind of starting the 'Ripping lower lip off after stretching to back

of neck' point" I hissed wincing and yelping. "WHERE THE HELL IS MIMI?!"

Meanwhile

"But you have to let us in!" I begged to the principal. "Sorry no pets allowed and you have to wait till

4:00 to see your owners." He boomed. "DAMN YOU AMERICAN EDUCATION SYSTEM!"

Back to Tak

I was beginning to feel limpish as my torso down felt like it was being ripped open every time the

thing did something. I think Computer referred to me having contractions or something. Lea was out

trying to read a murder novel, as I was on my third chair ruining. Breaking the leg is hard. And if

someone doesn't stop ignoring me, their leg is next. The next contraction felt like Hell. "DAMN YOU

ZIM!" I screamed. "Oh look there's the first window broken." Computer sarcastically complained.

"You shut the Hell up! You aren't the one having to have something Ripped out of you! No Something

That's MOVING ripped out of you!" I screamed as another wave of pain caused me to start to scream

but catching myself, nearly cutting my tongue off in the process. " Boy I love being normal!" Lea

said sarcastically. "How much does that hurt anyway?" She asked. I smiled. "Come here I'll tell you."

I hissed. She walked over nervously. I grabbed her arm as a wave of pain his causing her to fall on the

floor in agony. I just used her like a lightning rod, and it was fun. "My arm smashing, millions pieces."

she said After her yelping, crying, and whining stopped. "Thank Irk I have a good tolerance" I said

quietly at Lea. But then again it hurt a lot and I'm strong, so instead of squeezing as much as it hurt, I

just did as strong as I can and ended up breaking her arm. I almost felt sorry for her when a far more

painful wave hit. "Computer when the Hell is this thing coming out?!" I yelled to the near deaf

computer. "When I say you can start pushing." Computer sighed. "Start what?!" I asked my voice

getting hoarse again. "Listening to what your body wants to do, not what YOU want to do. You might

have started doing it, and caught yourself." Computer explained, while I yelped from the contractions.

"And when can I start?" I hissed. My muscles were weak and I was tired, and in so much

unimaginable pain, that for these humans that don't have pain tolerance, I felt truly deeply sorry for

them. "Eh, I'd say maybe now, just do it on every contraction or every other.." Computer trailed off, as

I let my body do the work. It hurt MORE than the thing just staying inside of me! I yelped as I tried

pushing. "I swear after I can feel my legs after this is all over I'm killing Zim! Where's Mimi anyway!

I want to use HIM as a lightning rod!" I screamed. "Peh, you just want to hold his hand." Lea hissed

wrapping up her arms in splints with gauze. "No I want to BREAK it." I hissed pushing again and of

course screaming in pain. I could not do this till 2:00 or 4:00 let alone all day. I'm not even sure what

time it is! "Lea? What time is it?" I pleaded tired. Lea looked at a clock. " 10:00 you've been doing this

for 4 hours." I yelped as a much more Painful contraction hit, and I pushed hard. Okay yelp or scream

was an understatement. I painfully cried breaking another chair. "Computer is it nearly over?" I hissed.

"I don't know it takes like half an hour to do one scan, especially one like this. Get Lea to check"

Computer said bored. "No! I will not! I'm hemophobic!" Lea said looking away. "But you kill people!

How can a homicidal Maniac be afraid of blood?!" I hissed pushing again. "Easy! You stab em, and

run!" Lea argued. "Lea! Come on!" I pleaded pushing. "I am not a nurse or midwife! I refuse!" Lea

argued. "You WANT to lose usage of the other arm? Don't just sit there and read your gay Murder

Novels! Stop being a bitch!" I hissed. Lea rolled her eyes. "I'm going to see something come out of you

covered in Green blood." Lea stated. "This sucks! Tak like I said weeks ago You're an ass!" Lea hissed.

"Lea." I hissed pushing. She slowly procrastinated her way over here. She looked under a blanket

that was covering me while I pushed. "You owe me SO much for this!" Lea hissed. "Shelter, Food,

and friendship is all I'm offering!" I hissed. "Fine! If it means keeping a place to stay then I'm going to

look." Lea hissed back, so she gave a quick look and stared away. "Noon. One I'm going to tell

Computer to get a towel and take care of eh..." Lea looked again. I did note it only had an after wave

of pain, instead of contractions. "Him?" I asked. Lea shook her head. "No Her. Then I'm getting a

bucket, throwing up from the blood, and get Zim." Lea said quickly running for a bucket. "Female? I

was sure..." I said trailing off. "I'll be back, I'm going to scare Zim with my broken arm." Lea said and

ran out. Computer of course cleaned her up and gave her to me in a tiny towel, maybe napkin. I was

too out of it to tell, but all I can tell is she's tiny. Small enough for me to hold with half the length of my

arm, and my arm is not the longest arm. Her antennae were uncurled, which made me wonder how Lea

assumed it was a she. Well there was the eyelashes. Using my weak finger I lightly curled her antennae.

She struggled a little, but then you could tell clearly it was a female. She opened her eyes and they

were a glowing Infra Red. Almost the same as Zim's. "So you're exactly like Zim eh? Look nothing like

me. Except your eyelashes. Yeah I'm going to brag you off. 'She has my eyelashes'" I joked when she

grabbed my finger. I noticed she had very tiny nearly non-exsistant hands. She pulled my glove off

with her one tooth and chewed on it. "Hey, no chewing on clothes. Well next time I call GIR a smeet

I'll have a point of reference." I said pulling my glove from her. She stuck her tongue out at me and

started trying to crawl away. Of course she is Irken, she's able to be born strong enough to use all her

limbs. "Hey get back here" I sighed grabbing her. I was too tired to act like myself, although when Zim

gets here He'll get a good punch from me. Won't talk for weeks. She stared up at me as if she were

gawking at my thoughts. "Fine I'll let Zim hold you, give you back THEN punch him" I joked, I

doubted she understood me anyway, I'm getting too used to Mini M. She started trying to crawl away

again, and I grabbed her. "Hey stop that. You're a hyper smeet." I told her. Yawning she nestled up on

me resembling a kitten. "Speaking of cats. Where's Mimi?" I asked.

Meanwhile Again

Lea

I walked up and saw Mimi. "Dammit! I told you it's urgent!" She yelled. "And I told YOU no pets!"

He argued. "Hey I'm here to get my big brother, Mom just had a baby, and she wants him to see his

baby sister." I lied. "Oh how cute! Come on in!" The Principal said welcoming me. "Oh and the cats

need to come too." I said and he let them in too. "Nice lie, so it was a female?" Mimi asked. I nodded.

"Everyone of you is an ass leaving me to be the midwife" I hissed. I came up to Mr. Illinois class, Mrs.

Robertson was there so Zim will be grateful. "Hi-Why is there a middle-schooler here?" Mrs.

Robertson asked. "Oh I came to get my Big Brother Zim, Mom wants us home right away." I lied

glancing at Zim. "Why?" Mrs. Robertson. "She won't tell me, but it's urgent. Family crisis" I added.

She looked at Zim. "Okay then go ahead." She said shooing Zim, who was out of that class faster

than a starving blumbee. He stopped outside the Skool so I caught up with him. "Thanks Lea that

means a lot you came to save me." He said I nodded. "Yeah since 7 Mimi was out here cussing out

Principal Softie out here." I told him. He stared. So just as a warning I punched his arm. "Never leave

me at the base again with Tak! She broke my arm!" I hissed. "Why?" Zim asked. "She just had your

smeet that's why! I said the wrong thing and she crushes it with a grip of her hand! I had to do hand

surgery for an hour!" I hissed. "Wait she had the smeet?" He asked. "Yes! And used me as a midwife,

by the way it's a female smeet cutest little thing I ever saw and congrats." I said quickly. He blinked.

"She's going to kill me when I get back to the base." He said. "Dude she can barely move. Apparently

you made her do something that felt like being awake and having ALL your organs taken out through

your ass." I hissed. He sighed. "In my will I leave GIR to Dib, he's his problem now." Zim said quietly

joking trying to make his death seem farther away. "So did Tak name her?" Zim asked. "No, I don't

think so, I threw up and left before she had a chance." I explained. We looked up at the base. "Zim, a

murder is about to happen, I'm going to take the Little smeet and run so she doesn't see her father get

murdered." I joked. He glared at me, oh right, that IS the most probable thing that will happen.

Back to Tak AGAIN

I heard Zim use the elevator to come down. Holding the little female, who was struggling to try to

get to the elevator, I turned. GIR had already nearly killed her once, by playing with her by water he

had played with, So I eyed Zim as he came down. I had use of my arms again. "So how did Lea get

you out?" I asked. "I told the principal that our 'Mom' as in you had a 'baby' as in her, and that she

wanted my 'brother' as in him to come here" Lea explained. "Yeah you told him he was missing the

birth of our daughter!" I hissed his direction. "I was being held hostage by Mrs. Robertson!" He said.

"Yeah and the Principal wouldn't let me in." Mimi added in Zim's defense. I sighed rolling my eyes.

"So what's she look like?" Zim asked. "Look in a mirror and curl your antennae" I told him. "Really?

Nothing like you?" Zim asked. "Well the eyelashes." I said. "Wait! Doesn't she need a pak?!" We

asked thinking about it. "Eh, no. She doesn't. She's been alive for 5 weeks if you haven't noticed, she

doesn't need a Pak" Computer answered. "So are you guys going to name her or what? We're going to

call her She?" Lea asked sarcastically. "Eh...." I said trailing off. "Lulu?" I asked. "It sounds

too..human" Zim commented. "Zanna?" He suggested, but Lea had him at the wall with a knife to his

throat. "Zanna is my worst enemy." She hissed dropping Zim. "Zon?" Lea asked. "Hey! 1, this is Our

smeet 2, It's a girl Lea!" I hissed. "Well excuse me! Zon's a pretty name to me!" She said offended.

"It's your middle name isn't it? Lisa Zon?" I asked. She nodded. "Sad." Zim coughed. "Leyla?" I asked

Lea stared. "It's okay...But Irk! Were you born in Hawaii? Come up with other names!" Lea said

sarcastically. Zim picked up the smeet when we weren't looking. "Lon? It's perfectly fine to me. Not

weird not to blend in or too human." Zim said. "Lon...." I said thinking. "It's good, okay you're Lon."

I said grabbing her away from Zim. She looked at me and then Zim. She reached for him, and he

picked her up. Or down. Whichever we're short. They both stuck their tongues out at me, and all I

could do was roll my eyes. "Nothing at all like me." I muttered. Lea walked over and looked at Lon

and at Zim. "Dang! She even has the same skin tone!" Lea exclaimed. "That's scary." I said. "Yeah

you won't have to do much Tak, I can tell that Lon, is going to be just like Zim, arrogant, ignorant, and

have an ego bigger than Dib's head" Lea said. I rolled my eyes and laughed. It was probably true

though. "Hi guys! We stalked you home!" Zim and I jumped as we heard a nasally voice come down.

Helena. Luckily I caught Lon so that nothing horrible happens on her first day of life. "We?" Zim

hissed. "Dib came too, he's outside. So I overheard Tak had the..." Helena stopped and ran over

looking at Lon. "My gosh she is a clone of you Zim. An adorable girl clone of you." Helena said.

"Hi I'm Helena!" She cooed. I stared, and decided to see if I could stand now that I have feeling to

my legs again. I mean all Irkens make fast recoveries. My legs surprisingly felt better than ever, and

now I feel sorry for humans who have to wait a month to use their legs. "Hewenya!" Lon repeated.

Zim and I looked at each other. We'll have to make a hologram fast. "Aw that's adorable! She said my

name and she's only..." Helena asked. "1 hour old" I told her. "Wow Irkens grow fast how long till she

speaks in sentences and flies ships?" Helena asked. "No you're saying it wrong Helena how long till

she acts like Zim and speaks one liners and Crashes ships?" I joked. Zim glared a little, but not real

seriously because he knew one wrong line sent him to his grave. And Dib walks down and Zim and I

get huddled in defensive positions. We don't like him around us, and definitely not around our smeet.

"Guys he said he was sorry!" Helena said. "What's that?" Dib asked. I almost laughed he's been left

in the dark for almost 3 months. "Tak and Zim had a smeet. Her name is Lon." Helena said happily.

"Really? Can I see?" Dib asked. Reluctantly we let him look at Lon. "My Irk she is a mini Zim" He

said astonished. "Yes we established that." I hissed. "Hey say my name, I'm Dib." He introduced. "She

won't say it. She has Zim's personality." I said rolling my eyes. "Dib Shoe!" She laughed clapping. Dib

glared at Zim. "You told her to say that didn't you?" He said angrily. "Actually no, I have never seen

you as a shoe, but now I am because that is amusing" Zim said laughing. Helena even laughed a little

and that was her boyfriend being called a shoe. "I like how she's saying our names first." Dib replied

smugly. "No....She was asking for Zim all the time while Lea was gone." I hissed. "That's not even

fair anymore!" Dib hissed. "I think it's adorable Dib." Helena said. I nodded. "She learns fast! Wow,

I'm actually a little scared." Helena said shocked. Lon yawned on Zim. I stared at Lea noticing

something I could work out. "Lea hologram" I hissed. She gave me the necklace, and I fastened it

around Lon's small neck. She looked around and down at herself. The hologram had changed on her.

But as much as it looked like a Dirty Blonde headed toddler it still had Zim's disguises eyes. " She is

nothing like you." Zim said slowly. "I noticed." I added.

Narrator

And with that was one of the most important things to them to happen, well for us...An alarm went

off in Quinn's head almost that the smeet was Still Virken. She would have to be killed, but good for

her I didn't tell Quinn about Lon's birth, I re-programmed it to look like nothing happened. So it would

keep the smeet from death, but I'm still asking myself this.

Why am I betraying my Mistress for the sake of the Enemy?

Yeah so for those Who've had kids and despite my warnings still read this, I'VE NEVER HAD

THEM. So don't criticize me on my inaccuracy But for those who like this chapter R&R,