We're at Ochre Woods's river, and that's basically all that's interesting about this trip. Bulbasaur's standing across the river, watching us, and he won't shut up, but the focus isn't (or wasn't) supposed to be on him. We're supposed to be fishing with Pikachu, and just so you know, Pikachu's not very good at it.
A dinky little Magikarp is attached to the line. "Hang in there!" Vicki screams into the microphone, since Pikachu is failing dismally to reel it in. The Magikarp comes ever so slightly closer to shore. "Pull!" Apparently, the fish is still too far out to reel in, and it vanishes with a splashing sound. Professor Oak pops up and tells us that it certainly was a "big one," and it may have been "thirty inches or more."
We've seen several thirty-inch Pokémon in this game, and I can tell you one thing: that was definitely not one of them. "There is no way that thing was thirty inches long," I told the screen. "You don't need to lie to make us feel better, Oak."
"Bulbasaur!" Bulbasaur interrupts as Vicki directs Pikachu to catch another fish. His voice is apparently captured by the microphone while Vicki's talking, and because of that Pikachu misunderstands and releases the fish.
"Thank you, Bulbasaur," I gripe at it.
"Bulbasaur!" it calls out again.
Pikachu hooks another fish, and this time it actually is a big one. Pikachu manages to reel it in by pulling so hard it falls over backwards. It's a fourty-five-inch Magikarp that Pikachu landed, and Vicki and I are (for once) very pleased with our dear electric rodent. Pikachu politely bows to the Magikarp, which is much taller than Pikachu itself.
"Bulbasaur!" Bulbasaur yells as we return to the fishing spot.
"Thank you, Bulbasaur," Vicki says pointedly.
The next catch is significantly smaller. It's a twenty-one-inch Goldeen, and it is definitely smaller than Pikachu. Pikachu turns to look at it. "Pika!" it gasps as it stumbles backwards out of shock.
"So it was completely unfazed by the huge Magikarp, but this Goldeen scares it?" I wonder out loud. "That makes no sense."
"Bulbasaur!" Bulbasaur agrees.
"Thank you, Bulbasaur!" I snap.
We caught another Magikarp.
"Bulbasaur!"
"Stop that!"
Pikachu reels in a Krabby.
"Bulbasaur!"
"Seriously! Stop talking!"
Pikachu catches another Goldeen.
"Bulbasaur!"
"Shut up!"
Our last catch of the day is another Magikarp.
"Bulbasaur!" Bulbasaur announces for the umpteenth time.
"Make it stop!" I yell. This Bulbasaur is giving me a migraine.
"Pikaaaachuuuu!" I look up at the screen to see Pikachu excitedly waving at Bulbasaur.
"No! No, Pikachu, no! Don't encourage it!" I scream at the television.
"Bulbasaur!"
"Pikaaaachuuuu!"
I slam my head into the back of my chair. "Just kill me now."