A Second Chance The Retrieval
Side note: changed some things. Mainly Chapter 10 and 11. You don't have to read them unless you want to.
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"I think I would rather have been the venus shaver." Szayel sighed. Somehow he had been shanghaied into a great and dangerous mission that would involve close encounters with sharks, wolves, a chance to look heroic, and a trip to the mall. Instead he was apparently on round-up duty.
"It'll be fun, she says, you'll get to go to the mall, she says." Szayel grumbled again. He nearly missed a possum in the road.
"You'll get to drive she says." Szayel continued obliviously, unaware of the rising speedometer. He was driving a large white van through a sketchy road. He was not driving well. Maybe it was lack of practice.
Suddenly, Szayel threw on the breaks. The van jolted to a stop and Szayel was thrown into the windshield. Not even bothering to say ouch, Szayel got out of the car, walked around to the front of the van, and stared blankly into the mass forest before him.
"Okay, ok, I just have to go. Just go into the creepy forest and hope I don't get eaten. On the count of 3.…1.…2...7...9.…6...2.…H…3!" He yelled as he jumped into the forest. Szayel cleared his throat and hoped nobody saw his ungraceful dive into the nearest bush or his drawing out of a countdown. Szayel finally stood up from his bush and brushed off the leaves as he steeled himself.
"I am a mad scientist, I have done things that would make anyone scream." Szayel said as he quickly checked his strange watch. After a consultation with his watch he looked to the north and sighed.
"Well, lets boogie." Szayel said, a phrase he heard from one of the movies from a previous movie night in Las Noches. Ulquiorra's choice, he believed, something about a chocolate factory. As Szayel made his way north, he jumped at every little noise from the background.
Szayel had been walking for about twenty minutes, and his nerves were almost destroyed. But, he suddenly saw the trees thinning out and eventually came to a clearing, where what he saw made him sigh with relief.
"Starrk, finally, I've been looking everywhere for you." Szayel said to the giant shaggy brown wolf sleeping in the clearing. Szayel made his way over and not so gently prodded the wolf.
"Wake up," Szayel poked the wolf again. "Where's Lilinette when you need her." Szayel said. At the first violent prod, the wolf's eyes snapped open and he growled. Szayel screamed girlishly and jumped back.
"Wait, you're not…." Szayel said before pausing then screaming girlishly and taking off through the forest, with the hungry wolf hot on his trail. Szayel ran quickly, using the calf muscles he had gained in his massive lab and sheer panic for his now renewed life.
Then suddenly, he stumbled across something furry and screamed. He immediately jumped up and kept running, ignoring the groan from behind him. The vicious growling of the wolf, suddenly turned into a whimper and Szayel froze. Another growl was heard but this one was decidedly more squeaky. Szayel turned around and nearly cried with happiness when he saw a small green wolf growling at the brown wolf who was chasing him. Szayel stopped to see what he had stumbled over and saw another brown wolf, this one was bigger and shaggier and less toothy than the one chasing him. It was also snoring, The first wolf turned and fled after another growl from the little green wolf, who then looked immensely smug as she turned to Szayel and jumped on him happily.
One could almost hear the nonstop chatter coming from her mouth. Starrk opened one eye, looked Szayel up and down, then went back to sleep. Lilinette growled and jumped from Szayel to Starrk before barking and biting him. Starrk groaned and reluctantly got up. Both wolves stood at attention in front of Szayel. Lilinette stood wriggling with excitement while Starrk looked like he was barely staying up. He peered at Szayel with bleary eyes and waited for him to say something.
"It's time to go back." Szayel said. Lilinette yipped with excitement. Starrk sighed neutrally. Szayel looked at his watch again and set out southwest.
"Just follow me, I'll explain everything in greater detail when everyone is together." Szayel said, having regained his professional attitude. Lilinette followed, bounding with energy while Starrk dragged his paws.
Szayel took many twists and turns in the dark forest. Starrk fell behind multiple times and had to be found sleeping in a hollow and Lilinette was often lost due to her habit of chasing leaves into the forest
Eventually they made their way back to the big white van. Lilinette hopped in the driver's seat and Starrk collapsed in the back. Szayel grimaced and pushed Lilinette over to the passenger side where she promptly stuck her head out the window. Szayel's eye twitched and he sighed. Putting the van in drive, Szayel drove out of the forest with relief and drove away. Unfortunately for all living being in the van, the road they drove on was dangerous and Szayel was a terrible driver. Starrk threw up in the back while Lilinette yipped with delight and Szayel ignored them both.
Eventually they came across a cabin in the middle of nowhere where Szayel stopped. It was a creepy cabin, that didn't really look like a normal cabin. It had an aquatic pool poking out of the side of the cabin, and a fenced in section of the forest connected to the house. Both wolves jumped out and Szayel pointed towards the door.
"Just stay in there, I'm off to get the others. Don't get lost and watch out for Wonderweiss." Szayel said. As if he heard his name Wonderweiss walked out of the cabin and stared blankly at Szayel. Szayel looked slightly uncomfortable.
"Stay. Here. Staaaay. Here." He called to Wonderweiss. Wonderweiss frowned and Szayel ran back towards the van. Szayel screeched off to his next destination in the van, leaving a dusty Starrk and an energetic Lilinette, oblivious to a figure hiding in the back seat.
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Szayel drove this time to an ocean. A deep ocean with no people in sight. One might wonder how in about fifteen minutes drive, Szayel got to an ocean that was across land masses and other oceans. But one must not have known the full abilities of the mysterious watch that was never out of Szayel's brilliant sight.
Szayel was getting ready to park when out of nowhere, Wonderweiss appeared in the driver's seat and grabbed the wheel and shoved his foot on the gas. The van sped towards the water with Szayel powerless to stop it, the kid was strong. Eerie and dramatic music would have fit the situation. The van hit the water at high speeds and Szayel ducked and covered as the van went further and further into the ocean. Even when the van was fully submerged it was still going deeper and deeper into the green ocean.
Szayel looked out the window and panicked as he saw a shark. The shark's expression seemed to say, I don't care but how did you manage this. Szayel freaked until he caught a glimpse of a black gothic three on where he assumed the shark's chest would be. Time seemed to slow as Szayel put two and two together and the shark stared. The shark continued to stare at Szayel as his brilliant mind concocted a plan.
He threw his brilliant and slightly far fetched plan into action. Szayel threw Wonderweiss out of the front seat and rolled down the back window. The van immediately filled with water. Then, with a surprised unintelligible bubble gasp, Harribel was sucked into the back of the van, now conveniently filled with ocean water. The water had gotten up to his neck, and he quickly threw the car in 4 wheel drive, and then reverse. He looked behind him and floored it and against all odds, the car began to roll back out of the water. Harribel looked at Szayel with disbelief as he finally made it out of the water, reversed the car, and drove away, pretending not to notice that Wonderweiss' head was below the waterline.
Eventually he made it back to the cabin and drove the van until the back right next to the aquatic tank. Szayel jumped out and opened the trunk. A astonished Harribel fell out and slipped into a tank of salt water. Lilinette yipped and Starrk stared as Szayel threw on the gas and once again, screeched out of the driveway, with only one glance at a waterlogged Wonderweiss in the passenger seat.
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Szayel's next apparent target was a town. Szayel himself was sitting in the driver's seat in front of a dark friendly looking house.
"Why am I doing this?" He groaned. "You. Stay." He told Wonderweiss. Wonderweiss looked too waterlogged to answer, though he never could answer with actual words.
Szayel got out of the car and went around the back of the house. He pulled a strange gadget out of his pocket and unlocked the back door, and slipped in quietly. He ignored every snore and creak, darting in and out of rooms until he found the room that had the word 'Toys' painted on it. Szayel walked in stealthily then tripped on something. Growling he turned around then smiled as he found a Lego castle. Getting on his hands and knees, Szayel looked through the inhabitants. Suddenly, he smirked as he found the one he was looking for. Except one difference, the Barragan Lego he was holding now had a head full of blond hair, plus his usual crown. Szayel searched the floor for Barragan's old hair until he found it lying abandoned in a corner.
Szayel looked from the old hair to Barragan and back again. One could almost feel the desperation seeping off a certain Lego desperate to keep his new hair. Szayel finally sighed and pocketed the old hair. He turned to leave only to be greeted with the sight of Wonderweiss standing in the doorway. Szayel looked panicked and started mouthing unpleasant words. Wonderweiss teared up as Szayel looked on with horror. Then, Wonderweiss started to sob very loudly. Szayel jumped up and tried to run but he tripped over a toy causing a loud noise to echo through the house. Szayel froze with horror.
Suddenly, lights came on in the halls. Wonderweiss cried louder and Szayel yelled, "SHUT UP." The door opened to show a man, a woman, and a boy in the doorway. The man screamed, the woman tried to hit Szayel with a baseball bat, and the boy looked on with curiosity.
"He's a pedophile!" The man screamed as Szayel grabbed Wonderweiss and jumped out the window. Somehow, Szayel's luck had completely deserted him as he landed on a growling dog. Szayel ran when a cat dropped from no where, hissing and spitting and trying to destroy Szayel, who finally threw the animals off him and ran into the car and floored it out of the driveway. He was panting heavily as Wonderweiss clapped with glee. Sirens were heard in the distance. Szayel didn't say anything and when he got back to the cabin, he tossed Barragan aside and collapsed on the couch, he immediately fell into a deep, dark sleep.
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The next morning, Szayel woke to see five pairs of eye staring at him. He yelped and fell off the couch ungracefully, before glaring at his observers.
"What? Haven't you ever seen a couch before?" He snapped before heading back to the van. He drove off once again, wryly noticing that his driving had not improved. He drove back to town, and while he drove, he noticed some new signs that read… "Warning: Pedophile sighting. Pink hair, after boys. White van." Szayel growled at this and muttered to himself. The picture under the word was a terrified image of him. Szayel's eye twitched.
Szayel continued driving to a cheery house that was currently empty. The door wasn't even locked so he walked in and found the kitchen. Szayel headed straight to the drawers until he found a spoon drawer. He looked from spoon to spoon until he gave up looking for a five tattoo. He picked up every spoon and threw it in a bag and got ready to leave when he saw lights flash in the driveway. Szayel froze with horror, nobody could hate him this much, right? Right?
A couple of ladies walked out into the house then screamed as they saw Szayel. All they saw was a demented Szayel fear overruling his face, with all their spoons in a bag, jumping out a window. As Szayel drove away, he saw new signs, like the old ones, except one blaring detail…"Has A Fetish For Spoons"
"How do they get these things up so fast?" Szayel cried. At least no one else saw these. Yet. He would have to destroy every single one before everyone resumed normal form. Szayel looked down the list of names and locations of the espada…and Gin and Tousen.
Let's see, 4 down, he was saving emospada and the grin for last. So that leaves Aaroniero, Grimmjow, and Tousen. Tousen was in Jamaica, Aaroniero was in the town, and Grimmjow was a cat. Szayel resolved this quickly and drove to a house on the other side of town. The creepier part of town he quickly noted, as the info on his pedophile signs was organized in such a way that it made it sound like an ad on eharmony. Szayel cringed, hoping he wouldn't be recognized. Then, next to his poster, he saw a for sale sign of a goldfish and tank. Szayel drove to the house of the seller and knocked on the door.
The door opened a crack and all Szayel could see was a single eye peering out of the crack. The eye looked at him, then past him, then widened as it looked back at him.
"What do you want?" The person said. Szayel smiled winningly.
"I just happened to see your ad about the goldfish and I would love to buy it." Szayel said. Suddenly, Szayel froze as the barest hint of reiatsu was picked up by him.
"Sorry, but you're too late, someone already came and bought it." The voice said. Szayel's eyes widened.
"Would you be able to describe this person to me?" Szayel asked slowly, if his hunch was right then this wasn't good, wasn't good at all.
"Sure, wavy brown hair, glasses, brown eyes, gave you the feeling of tranquility and fear at the same tim-" The person was cut off as Szayel sonidoed to the van and sped away, like the devil , or Aizen himself was chasing him.
To say Szayel was freaking out was an understatement. Aizen was onto them. The fact that he went to Aaroniero first was because he was the easiest to find. Szayel quickly analyzed the desperate situation. After Aaroniero, he would probably go after Gin, Ulquiorra, Tousen, Starrk, Barragan, Harribel, Spoon-head, Grimmjow, and himself last. Szayel hoped that Aizen would spend a time looking for Gin and Ulquiorra, (who were according to the annoying she-thing, were impossible for him to find) which would give Szayel time to head him off at Tousen, and finish collecting the espada and hiding them at the cabin, which was undetectable to even Aizen. Szayel groaned. The downsides to being the first in the frontline was getting destroyed by Aizen. Despite his new possible fan base, whatever that was, the dangers outweighed the good but yet he still found himself driving to Jamaica. So, to Jamaica the little mad scientist went.
Using his new watch, the trip to Jamaica took only ten minutes. And the walking around looking for Tousen took two hours. Apparently, Tousen was a pair of bongos, and how many of those were there in Jamaica? Many. Luckily Szayel, being the smart cookie he was, had the power of good luck and reiatsu sensing app on his watch. Some might think of apps on a phone, but Szayel was way too cool for those. Ignore the ring from his pocket.
"Excellent, he is not far from here." Szayel said to himself. Suddenly a bright pink spot on a small poster caught his eye. It was laying on the ground, crumpled and dirty. Szayel's golden eyes went wide as he looked into his face on the poster before growling and ripping it up, throwing it back on the ground, and resisting the urge to cero it. After he finished, he looked around. Luckily that seemed to be the only one. Straightening his collar, he continued on his way to find the justice-monger. As Szayel followed the watch, he distantly realized that he owed Gin a test item. Gin bet that Tousen came from Jamaica. Szayel sadly disagreed.
"AHA!" Szayel cried as his watch let out a series of long drawn out beeps. He looked down to see an abandoned pair of bongos. Szayel looked around cautiously before grabbing the bongos and running, straight into a palm tree. An angry palm tree. Or at least it would have been if it had been alive. Szayel recovered quickly and made his escape to the van, and back to the cabin within minutes. He cackled manically due to the extreme amounts of adrenaline still pumping through his veins.
Suddenly, Szayel screamed as a hand grabbed him from the back. Wonderweiss giggled and Szayel counted backwards from ten. He had gotten to 6 when he had given up and tried to strangle the strange kid. Wonderweiss got away and laughed again before disappearing with the bongos. Szayel sighed in resignation and hoped this time he could leave without Wonderweiss.
"Grimmjow next." Szayel muttered to himself as he set off in his van. He drove for a bit then stopped the car for a spontaneous Wonderweiss check. The check came up clean and Szayel searched everywhere. Satisfied he continued on his merry way. For the millionth time since he was back to the present. He ended up at a small house in the middle of no where, with a fenced in yard and a beware of cats sign, which Szayel smirked at. Who was afraid of cats?
The second Szayel stepped in the yard the yowling of several cats sounded as loud as if six lions from the gates of heaven had come down to wreak havoc on the trespasser. One black and white blur swerved and swiped Szayel across the leg. Szayel turned to aim a kick at it but as soon as he turned a brown blur came behind him, and started to claw his way up Szayel. Szayel shook it off and managed to grab it and he held it up. The small tabby yowled causing two white blurs came from either side to unleash their fury, Szayel tried to shake these off but two brown blurs started clawing and crawling up Szayel. A black blur joined the fight and Szayel was drowned in furious writhing bodies of demon cats. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a blue blur join the fight. Szayel screamed as he was sure this was the end. Then a startled hiss sounded out. All cats jumped off of Szayel and stood back. The blue blur was finally still and he saw a blue cat stare at him.
"Grimmjow?" Szayel asked in disbelief. The blue cat did a kitty smirk and meowed in a way that sounded cocky and violent at the same time.
"Yep, you're Grimmjow, now come with m-" Szayel was cut off by an old woman coming out of the house. WITH A SHOTGUN. Szayel whimpered silently.
"Did you hurt any of my cats?" She asked menacingly.
"NO, no, no, no, no, no, you have it all wrong," Szayel though fast, "You have my cat Grimmjow, the blue one, I've been looking for him everywhere." The old woman immediately relaxed.
"Oh that's nice, would you like some tea and cookies?" She asked with a vague smile. Szayel laughed nervously.
"Oh, I'm kind of busy and-" Szayel started but was cut off as the old woman grabbed a cookie out of nowhere and shook it aggressively under Szayel's nose. With the shotgun still within grabbing distance, Szayel smiled nervously and followed the old woman inside. The cats immediately followed suit with Grimmjow at the head.
Inside Szayel sat facing the wrinkly old woman, keeping a close eye on the shotgun, which was now leaning against the wall nearby.
"So, when did you first get Grimmjow?" The lady asked. Szayel laughed nervously.
"Me and him have been together years. I got him as a kitten from the pound because he was ugly, violent, and blue. Why, he owes his life to me." Szayel said with a smirk directed at Grimmjow, who immediately jumped up and Szayel's lap with a purr. Szayel froze in fear. Grimmjow? Purring? He must have something evil planned. Szayel stood stiffly and Grimmjow fell off his lap. But Grimmjow started rubbing against Szayel's leg, causing near panic in the mad scientist.
"I really must go, Grimmjow must really miss his friends." Szayel said, while pushing Grimmjow away with his foot, but Grimmjow wasn't giving up.
"All right, but be careful, he's under the influence of anesthetics. I took him to the vet.." The old woman said cheerfully. Szayel inwardly gasped at the horror. That could have been him.
"You mean neutered him?" Szayel stuttered. The old woman laughed heartily.
"Of course not, He just had to get some stitches. Silly boy got caught in a blackberry bush." The old woman said. Szayel sighed in relief. Grimmjow was just high. He wasn't planning anything. Or was he? Nah.
"Good bye Grimmjow, I'll miss you." The old lady picked Grimmjow up and kissed him all over his fluffy face. Szayel grimaced due to grossness. Grimmjow purred and was handed to Szayel, who reluctantly took him. The other five cats meowed and twirled around Szayel's feet. Szayel barely made it to his van door without tripping. As he started the car with Grimmjow sitting on the passenger seat, the old lady waved and said.
"Say hello to Artemis for me." Szayel gave a slight start then drove off. Szayel sighed with relief when he was far away from there and back at the log cabin. He parked the car and absentmindedly stroked Grimmjow on the head. Grimmjow growled.
"Ah Grimmjow, nice to see you're back the normal, that will make this that much harder." Szayel said. Grimmjow looked suspiciously at Szayel when suddenly, Szayel snatched Grimmjow, ran to the cabin and tossed him in before Grimmjow could say catnip.
The door closed behind Grimmjow and he was face to face with a sleeping brown wolf.
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Szayel looked at his very unreadable map. Scribbles were everywhere and there were slight drawing of wolves, sharks, toys, fish, cats, bats, and foxes. He cheered up at the thought that this was his last pick-up, as Gin and Ulquiorra were in the same place. Orihime's house. Szayel was also happy at seeing his BFF again. It had been too long. He would have to stay low profile though, as the strawberry and his friends lived in this town. Szayel did a Wonderweiss check quickly, and parked in front of Orihime's apartment. He wondered how he was going to do this. Just waltz in and steal them, or tell Orihime what's going on. His nonexistent conscience and logic vied for dominance. He shrugged and decided that he would make it up as he went along.
He finally reached the room and picked the lock open. All was dark and silent. Then suddenly, out of nowhere a frying pan hit him across the back of the head and he whirled around. It would take more than a pan to take out the octava espada. Then a voice cried out,
"Get him Orihime I'll hold him." The woman behind him grabbed him and squeezed him hard against her. He knew it was a woman because he was suffocating in her massive assets. If Harribel wasn't a shark he would say she was strangling him. Suddenly the light turned on as Szayel started to lose consciousness. Vaguely he saw a glimpse of orange.
"Szayel?" Was all he heard before completely loosing consciousness.
Hours later he woke up on a couch. Groaning, Szayel sat up and looked around, somehow, he felt eyes upon him. It was daytime now yet the house was deserted, except for a fluffy lavender pillow on the other side of the couch and a bat stuffy.
"Mother?" He asked then realized what he said and grimaced. Suddenly, he was attacked, by Orihime, her weapon of choice. Do I even have to say it? Yes, yes I do. A hug
"Szayel! I thought you were all dead." Orihime said. Szayel almost smiled before he attempted to shove the warm and fuzzy feeling deep down into his soul.
"Rangiku, its okay, he's a friend." Orihime said to her friend who was slowly stepping towards Szayel with a frying pan in her hand. She relaxed immediately and set the frying pan down, yet Szayel kept a cautious eye on it anyway. Szayel had a sudden urge to hold the purple fluffy pillow so he picked it up and set it on his lap and held it. The stress was starting to get to him. Suddenly, it unfurled and licked Szayel's face. Szayel stared in disbelief at the grinning fox who stared into his eyes then pounced on the bat stuffy, who neatly avoided it with a barrel role.
"Ulquiorra? Gin?" Szayel said shocked. Orihime and Rangiku started at the mention of the names.
"What about them?" Rangiku asked.
"Wait, how are you even alive, Captain Kurotsuchi said he killed you?" Orihime asked. Szayel laughed bitterly.
"Oh he killed me alright, remind me to return the favor sometime." Orihime ignored this though Rangiku cracked a smile at the thought. Szayel thought about the best course of action and decided on his age old mantra. 'When you can't make up an excuse, tell the truth.' He decided to temporarily ignore the other half of it. 'Then dissect it'
"Revived by a goddess, thrown into the past, shared my wisdom with little Albie, Brought back from the past, learned that most former espada were in various states of live and inanimate object, convinced to help the shinigami defeat Aizen once and for all, brought to a log cabin in the middle of nowhere, told to retrieve aforementioned espada and former shinigami, almost eaten by a wolf, almost drowned in the Galapagos, stalked by Wonderweiss constantly, accused of being a pedophile with a fetish for spoons and little boys, outbid on a fish by Aizen, went to Jamaica, ran into a palm tree, got attacked by cats who sounded like lions, rubbed up on by a high blue kitty, hit by a frying pan, and finally knocked out by suffocation. What about you?" Szayel said in one breath with increasing pitch towards the end of hi speech. Orihime and Rangiku stood speechless.
"What are you doing here?" Orihime asked. Szayel groaned and fell backward on the couch and pointed to the lavender fox leaping at the bat, who continued his evasion of the grinning fox. Orihime looked where he was pointing then everything clicked together. Her eyes widened.
"Ul-Ulquiorra?" She said. Rangiku stared at the fox. The bat stopped at the sound of his name and the fox continued to jump up to try to catch the bat to no avail. The bat chirped as if it were scolding the fox, and the fox stopped and sat looking at Rangiku.
"Gin." Rangiku said, with her eyes shadowed and her head down. Gin looked up at her and seemed to sigh. Rangiku looked up and grabbed Gin violently.
"How dare you do this to me, first you die then your body disappears and you turn into a fox and you can't even tell me, no hints or anything." Rangiku yelled. Her yelling faded into the background as she continued her rant, Szayel continued to lay on the couch, and Orihime looked deep into Ulquiorra's eyes. After Rangiku finished her rant, she grabbed Gin and hugged him to her chest. Luckily he was used to this so he did not suffocate. Orihime didn't know what to do, for weeks now she had been cuddling, hand feeding, and babying the stoic cuarto espada. Now all she wanted to do was hug him, but wasn't sure if he could. Never mind that that was all she had been doing for the last couple weeks. Ulquiorra seemed to sigh, then he flapped over and chirped at Orihime, who cracked a tiny smile, then she couldn't hold herself and she hugged him.
"I just may puke." Szayel said. Orihime smiled mischievously at him, then she launched herself at him and they slow motion rolled into Rangiku and the whole thing ended up a giant group hug. Szayel smiled a little before straightening up.
"I hate to burst the bubble, but we have to go." Szayel said. Orihime and Rangiku simultaneously shot puppy dog faces at Szayel who shifted uncomfortably and said,
"Don't worry, we'll be back. We will all be back. Sooner than you think." Orihime and Rangiku smiled at him and nodded. Gin trotted and Ulquiorra glided to his side and all three of them left into the light. Ulquiorra cast a curious look at Szayel.
"We have to hurry, Aizen is on the move." Szayel said in a low tone. Gin nodded and leapt head first into the van and all three drove away. But not before one more Wonderweiss check.
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Szayel opened the door to the log cabin and grimaced at the smell. It was an absolute zoo. Gin rushed in at the scent of chaos and started adding his own brand. Lilinette was chasing Grimmjow who was chasing Starrk, who was sleep running. Wonderweiss was creating a tense and chaotic environment with the bongos, a.k.a. Tousen. The beat was fast and loud, and getting faster and louder. Harribel was in her tank, pretending she wasn't annoyed. Gin was doing many things at once, giving quick nips to Lilinette's, Starrk's, and Grimmjow's tails, stopping to pee near Barragan, scaring the shiznit out of Harribel, by leaping into her tank and attempting to ride her out of it, and adding a mini violin which he coughed up and started whipping the crowd into a frenzy. Ulquiorra was sitting on Szayel's shoulder deciding that the loss of decorum was appropriate due to the fact that that was the only safe place. Szayel's eye started twitching, and Ulquiorra attempted to cover his ears as he recognized the symptoms.
"Everyone. Shut Up." Szayel yelled at the top of his lungs. The room went silent. Except for Harribel's angry bubble yells directed at Gin.
"Bedtime. All of you. You're all grounded." Szayel continued. A collected gasp went across the room. And by collected I mean Gin and Lilinette. "NOW." Szayel yelled. Everyone grumbled and those with legs went to their respective corners. Starrk and Lilinette lay in the outdoor pen, Harribel stayed in her tank. Ulquiorra flew to a beam and hung there. Szayel sighed with relief and fell back on the couch, where Gin and Grimmjow jumped up on and laid all over Szayel.
"You have spent too long as pets." Szayel mumbled exhaustedly. Grimmjow purred sleepily and Szayel was sure that if he was awake, he would not allow Szayel to live with that memory. But, seeing as the bloodthirsty psychopath was small blue cat and asleep, Szayel allowed himself to stroke said kitty. Though if he thought about who this cat really was he would probably freak out, but Szayel had always liked cats.
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The light shone through the skylight Szayel didn't know they had. He blinked open his eyes and started at the hole in the roof. Then he remembered Grimmjow shot ceros in his sleep. But wait. Cat's can't shoot ceros. Can they? No. With a bad feeling in his gut, he focused on what, or who was on top of him. Grimmjow and Gin were the who, the surprise twist was the fact that they were human, and the cherry on top for anyone who was watching would be the fact that they were naked. A fact not lost on Szayel as he looked around in horror. Harribel was human, sleeping, and naked at the bottom of the tank. Szayel quickly looked away before she woke and caught him looking and he resolved to someday find out where her gills were. Ulquiorra was on the floor, having fallen from his beam. Starrk and Lilinette were in the enclosed area, good for Szayel because Starrk wouldn't be happy if anyone say Lilinette naked. Szayel shuddered at Nnoitra's form in the corner. But the burning horror that would be forever in his mind was Barragan's wrinkly naked body. Szayel attempted to move out from underneath the currently naked Gin and Grimmjow. Luckily, Szayel was skilled at stealth and he managed to escape part one of this horrible nightmare.
Szayel stood in the middle of the horrible room and saw a glowing silver note on the floor. He looked at him then resolved to dissect it back in his lab to see how it glowed. The Note read;
Dear Szayel,
Well done, you may be surprised when
you wake up, but in concern for your
piece of mind, clothes are in the closet.
Let's see what the shinigami think of
you. Warn everyone no attacking the
shinigami. I mean it. At least not
where other shinigami can see you.
Love
A
P.S. Nice skylight, you know, if you really wanted one, you could've asked.
Szayel grumbled under his breath. The skylight wasn't his fault. Stupid naked Grimmjow. Now to do something about the nakedness. He walked over to the closet and pulled out several white clothes, a.k.a. their espada outfits. Szayel was never so happy to see his. These real world clothes were scratchy with nowhere to put vials and needles in a place he could reach and inject someone with in under two seconds. He sorted out the clothes and tried to decide his next course of action. He could leave the clothes next to their respective owners, and let them dress themselves. But that would mean more hours of birthday suits and the possible destroy mode of the first to wake up. Sighing Szayel continued to think of a solution to his predicament as he changed into his clothes. Then he felt a familiar something against his chest. He reached in his cloak and pantomimed stabbing someone with a needle in 1.5 seconds.
Smirking to himself he twirled and sonidoed around the room and stabbed everyone with the needle in 10.7 seconds. A new record for this many people in a short amount of time. No one would wake for another three hours. This would serve two purposes. One, clothe the nakedness, and two, allow Szayel to sleep for another three hours. Why was Szayel so bothered by the nakedness one may wonder, the answer would be that Szayel is secretly a prude. Ignore his zanpakuto. Once again, using his sonido, he quickly dressed everyone and when he finished, he never wanted to see any part of Barragan again. Ever. The burning was too much for Szayel and he pushed Gin and Grimmjow off the couch and snuggled with the pillow. Then with amazing precision, he injected himself with the needle and was happily knocked unconscious.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
"So what should I say when we get there? How about 'ready to die strawberry?', Or something like 'You, Me, your death?" Szayel vaguely heard through his hazy mind. That sounded like Grimmjow.
"Or how about 'Kurosaki, You, Me, my bed, no clothes." A voice said sarcastically. That sounded like Nnoitra.
"You wanna go?" Grimmjow threatened.
"Your bed, No thanks." Nnoitra said bored. Grimmjow was just about to retort when a voice piped up.
"You should say, 'Hey, Kurosaki, Did you miss us.'." Ulquiorra said. Everything was quiet.
"Wow, Ulqui, how long have ya been thinking' of tha' one?" Gin asked. Ulquiorra was silent.
"A very long time." He answered. Gin fist bumped him. Or tried to anyway.
"Nice emospada, I like it." Grimmjow commented.
"By the way Grimmy, thanks for the skylight." Gin said cheerfully. Grimmjow growled.
"I was sleep-ceroing again. Like you guys never do it." Grimmjow replied. Szayel chose this time to wake up.
"Huh, you're all normal. And clothed. It makes no logical sense why you would be clothed." Szayel said confused. Something deep in his repressed memories told him not to think of this too much, so he didn't think deeper into it. Starrk and Harribel were no where to be seen, Lilinette was playing with Wonderweiss while being supervised by Tousen. Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Gin, and Nnoitra were standing a circle eating. Szayel had just woken up, and Barragan was bemoaning his now back to normal gray hair.
"So, Sleeping Pinky, we're going to the Society today." Grimmjow informed Szayel. Szayel nodded.
"When?" Szayel asked.
"Now." A voice said. And all of them were whisked away by a silver light.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Gin: You're ALIVE! Oh Mah Aizen
But-but, maybe the fact that it's 16 pages help people not want to kill me.
Ulquiorra: Don't count on it.
T.T
Szayel: Check me out, I'm awesome.
Gin: No you're not dude don't lie.
Szayel: What?
Gin: Nevermin'
BTW, the thing I love most about reviews is when people tell me their favorite parts.