Thanks to Kairikiani for the review and the suggestions. And also Thanks to punks Kura and G. Ai Inoue for their reviews.

Of Catnip and Kittens

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Aizen looked up from his morning tea. He sensed a disturbance in Las Noches. Shaking his head slowly, he returned to his tea. It was too early to deal with things.

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"What are you waiting for, get it in there."

"I am trying woman. Calm yourself."

"How are you so calm?"

"I have done this sort of thing before, woman."

"What? Oww Ulquiorra." A banging noise was heard.

"You wanted this."

"Hurry, Ulquiorra, Hurry, Faster." A voice chanted.

"I am trying woman. Stop shouting, someone will hear."

"Faster, Faster, Faster, this shouldn't take this long."

"It does when you are doing that." Complete silence.

"Oh, sorry." The two were secluded in the kitchen when a smooth voice rang out from behind the door.

"Mah, Mah, someone' havin' fun without' meh."

"Then get in here and help us, Gin." Orihime whispered loudly. Luckily, no one saw the shock that caused Gin to open his eyes.

"Exqueeze me?" Gin said, clearly taken aback.

"Come on, get in here." Orihime said. Gin covered his eyes, feeling a sense of decency was needed from him at least. Well, if they want me, they got me. Gin thought as he started taking off his shirt. He didn't know Orihime was into three-somes.

"Ichimaru. What are you doing?" Ulquiorra said as he looked at Gin. Ulquiorra and Orihime were bent over a kitty shaped cup.

"Ummm nothing, wha are ya doin?" Gin asked, putting back on his shirt.

"Spiking Grimmjow's tea with catnip. What did you think we were doing.?" Orihime asked.

"Spiking Grimmy's tea with catnip. Thah's wha' I was thinking'. Are those the new kiddi cups I picked out fo' tea time?" Gin asked. Orihime nodded.

"I'm done, lets get out of here." Ulquiorra said.

"10-4 Agent Bats, come on Agent Grin, lets roll." Orihime said as she cart wheeled out. Ulquiorra jumped to the roof and crawled out. Gin followed with an army crawl on the floor. Earning him many strange looks and effectively tripping Tousen on the way back to his room.

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All of the espada were sitting in their seats, looking at their new respective cups. Starrk was sleeping on his wolf cup, Barragan was glaring at his arthritis research cup, Harribel was trying to ignore her shark cup, Ulquiorra sighed at his bat cup, Nnoitra was cautiously watching his incredibly life-like mantis cup, Grimmjow was secretly purring at his kitty cup, Zommari was staring in confusion at his pumpkin cup, Szayel was playing with his beaker cup, Aaroniero was looking at his monster cup, he couldn't tell what it was, Yammy was looking at his Giant cup, Gin was playing with his fox cup, and Tousen was feeling up his seeing-dog cup, and surprisingly, Orihime had a seat and her own fairy cup. Aizen was smiling a strained smile as he surveyed the espada and his own teddy-bear cup.

"There are some new changes. First, the lovely Orihime-chan will be sitting with us at meetings, and we also have new cups." At this Aizen's smooth voice faltered. "Be sure to thank Commander Gin for this." Gin waved wildly from the background. Suddenly, a wild giggling piped up from the sexta's spot as Gin, Ulquiorra, and Orihime looked at each other.

"Grimmjow, is there something you would like to share with the espada?" Aizen said. Hello misplaced anger. Aizen thought viciously.

"I saw a bird just take off with Gin." Grimmjow strained out through giggles. Aizen widened his eyes in hope as he turned, but Gin was still there waving, with that infernal smile on his face. Scowling, Aizen returned his gaze to Grimmjow. Suddenly, Aizen smiled benignly. Grimmjow shuddered. Yes, Gin's smiles were creepier, but Aizen's smile could kill you with kindness. Literally, He had seen it done. Grimmjow started swatting at the air. Ulquiorra barely managed to hold back a smirk.

Grimmjow suddenly leapt at Nnoitra, who sat across from him. Nnoitra let out a girlish shriek.

"Nnoitra, the bird is coming back for you, he says he likes mantis, RUN NNOITRA." Grimmjow screamed and tackled Nnoitra. "GRIND PANTERA." Grimmjow shouted as Aizen screamed.

"GRIMMJOW, NO." Grimmjow entered his release, grabbed Nnoitra by his spoon collar with his teeth, and fled on all fours out of the building into the hot desert of Hueco Mundo. Back in the meeting room, Aizen was furious.

"Where is Grimmjow? Starrk, Harribel, Ulquiorra, and Yammy, go and get him, and when you find in, deliver him to the octava's lab." Aizen began, but was interrupted by Szayel's manic giggling. "Szayel, contain yourself. All you are doing is running simple tests. Simple. Not blood transfusions, brain surgery, and especially no sperm samples for your secret sperm bank. Am I understood?" Aizen asked sternly.

"Fine." Szayel said dejectedly. Then he looked up with a psychotic joy.

"And no sex changes." Aizen added in as Szayel slumped back to his dejected state.

"Do we have to get Grimmjow? He'll come back eventually. Besides, we don't need him or Nnoitra. Maybe if were lucky, they'll run into the substitute shinigami and his friends." Starrk said. Aizen considered for minute.

"Very well, we will give him a day to return with Nnoitra, after that, you three will go and contain him. Using any means necessary. And if anyone knows how this started, there will be a reward for any information. The reward being, a jar of red bean paste. Clear out. Now." Aizen concluded. Orihime was struggling. Ulquiorra saw this and tackled her just as she was about to admit to everything, or worse, incriminate him.

"Woman, keep your mouth shut, you are a spy, not taken in by bribes, have some pride." Ulquiorra whispered quickly. "Would James Bond give in for some Red Bean Paste?" At this, Orihime snapped out of it.

"You're right Ulquiorra. I am ashamed." Orihime said sadly. Ulquiorra nodded.

"Come, Agent Fairy, Ninja, Princess, Robot in Space, we must collaborate with our fellow evil-doer Gin in the Control Panel Room." Ulquiorra said. He leapt to stand upside down on the roof and started walking. Orihime smiled and grabbed his outstretched hands as he carried her to the control room.

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"We can' let Aizen know we're behin' this. Las' time I did something like this, I passed the blame to the former former cuarto espada, before Harribel. Do you kno' what happened? Aizen killed him. With the smile. Turns out, he really can kill someone with kindness." Gin said. Orihime gasped in amazement.

"So what do you suggest we do Agent Grin?" Orihime said in a business voice.

"We play dumb at all costs. Orihime, since you are terrible at lying, you play dumb then start blabbing about whateve' else. We tell no one what we did." Gin said seriously.

"We did not do anything." Ulquiorra said in his monotone.

"Purrfect." Gin said while laughing. "Get it. Purr, like the cat, cause Grimmy is loose and high? Get it? Huh? Huh? Never mind." Ulquiorra and Orihime left while he was still laughing manically at his pun. "Oh ya, I'm Punny." was the last thing they heard before another bout of maniacal laughing,

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"Alert, All Espada, former shinigami, and arrancars wake up. We have a code blue. I repeat CODE BLUE, RUN FOR YOUR FREAKIN' LIVES. No wait, HAVE MERCY. NOOOOO." A crackly voice rang through the halls of Las Noches then faded out.

"Ulquiorra, make it shut up." Orihime mumbled. Ulquiorra shook her awake.

"Woman, we have a code blue lockdown. This is very dangerous. Grimmjow is back, and still high. He has already taken Tousen, who was the voice on the loudspeaker. Things are very dangerous woman." Ulquiorra said. "Follow me. I must go find and take down Grimmjow, along with Starrk and Harribel. I don't trust you alone."

"Okey dokey artichokey." Orihime said cheerfully.

"I fail to see what artichokes have to do with the situation." Ulquiorra said. Ulquiorra and Orihime ran to the control room. Most of the espada were already there.

"Good, you're here. We have an emergency, Grimmjow has taken Aizen captive. He is also trying to find his way here but I have so far kept him from us by changing the halls. But he is starting to just break through all walls." Gin said from the only chair in the small room. On the video monitor, it showed Grimmjow, still in release, galloping through the halls with a stoned smile, carrying an unconscious Nnoitra, and an angry Aizen.

"Ulquiorra, Starrk, and Harribel. You three knock him out and bring him to the octava's lab. Szayel is there with everything prepared." Gin continued. "GO, GO, GO." The unfortunate trio left.

"So, where do you think he-" Starrk began but was cut off by his snore. Lilinette, who was with him at all times, rolled her eyes and kicked him awake. Suddenly, a loud rumbling was heard through the halls. Grimmjow came leaping down, with wide eyes, big goofy smile, tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth, Nnoitra nowhere to be seen, Aizen unconscious and slumped over his shoulder, and a wild purring coming out of his mouth.

"Drop Aizen and we will let you live." Ulquiorra said. Grimmjow giggled manically and leapt. As Grimmjow reached his intended destination, time froze as the temperature dropped to below zero.

"Grimmjow, what have you done?" Ulquiorra asked in horror. Grimmjow's hands were securely station on Harribel's breasts. Grimmjow, still high out of his mind was oblivious to the immense danger he was in. Harribel's eyes narrowed and Starrk woke in terror. All was silent except for Grimmjow's manic giggling.

"DESTROY TIBURON."

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Hours later, Harribel dumped a big tinfoil wrapped mess at Szayel's lab.

"What is this." Szayel asked.

"Grimmjow." Harribel deadpanned. "Did you know…that cats are afraid of tinfoil. Can't stand it." Harribel continued in a mild tone. Szayel raised his eyebrows. A slight weeping was heard from inside the tinfoil.

"Be thankful you were not here in the beginning. When she first put him in the tinfoil, he was screaming bloody murder. After what I have seen, I would recommend her for therapy. I have decided that Harribel deserves her spot as the most feared espada." Ulquiorra said. Starrk quickly agreed.

"I think I'm going to have nightmares." Starrk said. Szayel sighed.

"I'm a scientist, Damn it, not a doctor. But whatever. Aizen never said no experimenting." Szayel said. Ulquiorra saw his smile and decided that it was not safe for his eyes to remain. Starrk agreed. But Harribel sat down and waited for the show. Ulquiorra and Starrk sonidoed away before the screams began.

Once again, Ulquiorra, Gin, and Orihime were alone. Aizen had been recovered. But sadly, well, not sadly, Nnoitra had not been seen from. He was still missing and Grimmjow was still in therapy.

"So woman, are you satisfied? Catnip does work on Espada's who are part cat." Ulquiorra asked Orihime.

"Yep Agent Bats. We have once again succeeded in our mission." Orihime said.

"Last mission we did not succeed. We still do not know if Gin smiles in his sleep." Ulquiorra deadpanned.

"Ya could've asked." Gin chirped.

"Do you?" Orihime asked curiously.

"Tha's for me to kno' and ya ta fin' out." Gin chirped once again. Orihime pouted. Ulquiorra rolled his eyes.

"So, what happened in the 9 hours Grimmjow was missing?" Orihime asked.

"No one knows."

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I'm sorry it took so long to update. But chapter 2 is finally done. I was also toying with the idea of doing another chapter called Grimmjow's lost hours. About what he did in the hours he was missing. What do you think.