A/N No reviews T.T This makes me very sad.

Special thanks to Kairikiani for this chapter.

Espionage and Insanity

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"This next mission will be the most dangerous mission yet!" Orihime stage whispered. Even Gin and Ulquiorra were afraid of the challenge ahead. Szayel was back happily playing in his lab and Betsy was back in Aizen's stables.

"This is a suicide mission, I don't think we can do this." Ulquiorra whispered. Gin fervently agreed. Orihime almost agreed with them.

"We have to though, no choice, it must be done. Here comes the target, quick, act natural." Orihime whispered frantically. Moments later, Harribel walked through and took a doughnut off the table then walked out of the kitchen. Gin, Orihime, and Ulquiorra sighed with relief, she hadn't seen them.

o0o0o0o

Harribel walked quickly away from the kitchen. She didn't know what Gin, Orihime, and Ulquiorra were doing under the table, but she didn't want to find out.

o0o0o0o

The three gotten out from under the table and were making a plan to make a plan on how to complete their current mission. The current mission you ask? Find out if Tia Harribel had gills, and if so, where they were. Some may call this a suicide plan. Some would be right. Yet, how would they know if they didn't try.

"Well that's one place we can't plan at. She frequents there too often. What's the one place she would never go." Orihime said. Gin and Ulquiorra thought hard.

"AHA!" All three said at the same time. Mistakenly believing that they all had the same idea, all three ran to the place they were thinking of. Orihime ran to Nnoitra's room, Gin ran to Szayel's lab, and Ulquiorra ran to Aizen's personal quarters.

Nnoitra's room wasn't as dirty and creepy as you would expect. Things were for the most part clean. Orihime correctly attributed this to Tesla. Yet she did not expect that there was two places Tesla was not allowed to clean. Under the bed, and the tiny Nel shrine in the corner of the room. Orihime saw this and her eyes widened.

"What do you think you're doing." Nnoitra asked dangerously. Orihime gasped and jumped.

"Please don't hurt me. I'll just get out of here and this never happened ok, its going to all be ok." Orihime said soothingly, fearing for her innocence and life. Nnoitra rolled his eye.

"Yeah, sure, whatever just get out of here." Nnoitra said bored. Orihime froze, he didn't seem very threatening. Orihime decided she must unravel the mystery, so she did something stupid.

"Are you gunna make me?" Orihime said challengingly. Nnoitra looked at her like she was crazy.

"Get out of here already, I have things to do." Nnoitra sighed.

"Am I one of them?" Orihime asked seductively. Nnoitra grimaced.

"No, now get the hell out of here before I reap your SOUL!" Nnoitra said, he was starting to get very annoyed.

"Reap my soul, that's a new one, I'd like to see you try." Orihime got right up into Nnoitra's astonished face.

o0o0o0o

At Szayel's lab, Gin was hiding under Szayel's desk, which Szayel graciously allowed. It smelt a little funny, but it was okay since Szayel was ticklish. Szayel's current patient has his back turned to Szayel's desk and didn't know the source of the giggling. Szayel stood up and snapped a rubber glove on one hand.

"Now Barragan, stand, turn and cough. Don't worry, I'm a doctor. And cancer is a real problem in older men such as yourself." Szayel said. Gin grimaced and covered his eyes. Barragan obeyed the instructions with hesitation, but it wasn't like he had a choice, Aizen had insisted "for his own good."

"Now this is the icky bit." Szayel commented. Barragan grimaced. This wasn't a good day. Gin screamed in horror on the inside even though his eyes were still closed. Gin prepared to make a run for it.

o0o0o0o

"Ulquiorra my boy, what are you doing here?" Aizen asked a surprised Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra hadn't meant to hide in the space under the bed where Aizen was already hiding. Ulquiorra quickly used his smarticle skills to make an excuse that wouldn't warrant any questions.

"The woman was attempting to teach me about the birds and the bees." Ulquiorra said. Aizen chuckled in understanding.

"I remember the day I had to teach young Gin about the birds and the bees, he hid too. Wouldn't talk to any girls for weeks." Aizen said.

"Lord Aizen? Why are you under the bed?" Ulquiorra dared to venture to ask. Aizen looked shifty.

"I haven't seen Gin in awhile, so I'm just steering clear of any easily trapped place." Aizen said.

"Gin is concentrated deeply on something else at the moment. He asked me not to tell you." Ulquiorra said.

"That's ok, I think I'd rather not know." Aizen chuckled nervously. "Now, I think there is something we deeply need to discuss." Ulquiorra's eyes widened.

"Sometimes when a man and a woman love each other very much," Aizen started. He didn't get a chance to finish it as Ulquiorra fled. Aizen chuckled. This was all part of his evil plan to get Ulquiorra out of his hiding spot. Everyone knew when two people hid in one spot, it made the spot twice as easy to find.

"If you ever need me, Agent God, and his sidekick, Agent Hair Curl are easy to find." Aizen shouted hopefully. He smiled. "What good children we have." Aizen said to his hair curl. The hair curl bobbed. Possibly of it's own accord.

"ULQUIORRA!" Gin yelled through the halls. All current occupants chose to scatter. They had also noticed Gin's lack of trouble making. Ulquiorra heard him from some hallways away and quickly headed in the direction of the fleeing arrancars.

"Gin there you are, where's Orihime?" Ulquiorra asked. Gin shrugged.

"I dunno, I jus' headed for the place Harribel wouldn' ever go, Szayel's lab. Where'd you go?" Gin asked.

"I went to Aizen's personal quarters, but that is a story for another time, now, if I were the woman, where would the place Harribel would never go?" Ulquiorra asked. Gin gasped, and Ulquiorra gasped a moment later and both ran for Nnoitra's quarters.

"NNOITRA, PUT THE WOMAN DOWN!" Ulquiorra thundered as he broke down the door. He and Gin burst in to a strange sight. Orihime was yelling at Nnoitra and Nnoitra was groaning on his bed, with a pillow over his head, trying to block out her voice.

"Egad Orihime, shut it." Gin said. Orihime stopped her nagging and Nnoitra uncovered his head.

"THANK AIZEN, JUST GET HER OUT OF HERE BEFORE I REAP ALL YOUR SOULS!" Nnoitra yelled.

"There you go with the reaping souls again, blah blah blah blah blah." Orihime's words turned to blahs in all the male occupants ears. Ulquiorra picked up Orihime and with a quick sorry to Nnoitra flash stepped out of there, followed quickly by Gin. Nnoitra could've cried with happiness, but he settled for locking his door.

"Woman, are you crazy, he could have hurt you." Ulquiorra said. Orihime scoffed.

"Him, as if, that's what I though too until he just threw a tantrum, he's just an overgrown child." Orihime said nonchalantly. Neither Gin or Ulquiorra decided to ever test that theory.

"Now back to finding out if Harribel has gills." Orihime said. Both Gin and Ulquiorra covered her mouth. She shook them off. "She wouldn't come here, the only thing near this hall is the men's bathroom." Orihime said.

"Oh, well then, I think we should sneak inta her room and place cameras." Gin said.

"If she found them, she would destroy us." Ulquiorra reminded Gin.

"She wouldn't know who did it." Orihime said. "Let's just call that Plan B."

"Plan A can be just ask her." Orihime said cheerfully. Ulquiorra and Gin shared a look.

"Let's just call that plan Z only to be used if all other plans fail." Ulquiorra said. Orihime shrugged.

"So, wha's plan A?" Gin asked. Everyone thought about it. Orihime snapped her fingers.

"We get Szayel's help and disguise ourselves as her fraccion, we get her real fraccion out of the way and we infiltrate the room. Then we wing it from there!" Orihime shouted. Everyone shrugged, there was no way that plan could go wrong.

"TA PINKY'S LAIR!" Gin shouted.

o0o0o0o

Szayel looked perplexed, yet strangely intrigued.

"Harribel's fraccion you say?" Szayel asked. Orihime nodded. "And keep Harribel busy?" Orihime nodded again. "That is going to be some hard work."

"Don' worry 'bout tha'. I already placed the idea in Aizen's head." Gin said happily.

"Makes sense, I suppose." Szayel said to himself. "Alright, Gin will be Sun-Sun because he's the skinniest and the tallest, Ulquiorra will be Apache, because he is the shortest and doesn't need stuffing, and Orihime will be Mila-Rose, because there is no way we'd manage to tape those down." Szayel announced. "Let me just check the Las Noches storage room." Szayel quickly walked away and was back in a minute, with armfuls of things.

"Orihime, you here, high heels, hair dye, wig, plaster for hollow mask, outfit, and lots of face paint."

"Gin, you here, wig, paint, make-up, plaster, robes, and contacts."

"Ulquiorra, you here, wig, contacts, make-up, clothes, and plaster." Szayel moved like a blur, placing objects where they went and was done in a matter of minutes.

"Ta-Da!" Szayel announced, leading the three to a mirror.

"Where did you get the right clothes?" Orihime asked. Szayel shrugged.

"Aizen had more than one pair made up, in case any get ruined." Szayel said. The three looked as much like Harribel's fraccion as possible. Their facial features notwithstanding.

"Szayel, did you already take care of Apache, Mila-Rose, and Sun-Sun?" Orihime asked. Szayel nodded.

"They are currently hiding from their appointments. Later, I will have to hunt them down." Szayel said. "Have fun, and don't get killed."

o0o0o0o

Harribel stood awkwardly off to the side, why did Aizen and Szayel want to see her, and why were her fraccion running around Las Noches mumbling about appointments.

o0o0o0o

"Shh, this is it." Orihime hurriedly shushed her companions. Gin and Ulquiorra listened, and Orihime almost reverently opened the door. No alarms went off, no lasers or anything. Yet, inside was one of the strangest sight they had ever seen. There was a moat with a bridge around the inside of the room, and there were actual sharks, or shark hollows, inside the moat. The center of the room looked like an island with sand and a palm tree. Three small bridges led from the respective side of island and into other rooms.

"Wow, Aizen didn' give ME tha' much allowance for mah room." Gin said jealously. Ulquiorra nodded in agreement. The three crossed the main bridge while cautiously watching the sharks. The sharks gave them a weird look, but nothing else.

"Let's find Harribel's bed." Orihime said. Gin, Ulquiorra and Orihime each went to a different bridge and looked in.

"Lion habitat over here, this must be Mila-Rose." Ulquiorra said. The room had Savanna paintings with lion prides and herds of various animals on the wall and had a high temperature.

"Snake, definitely Sun-Sun." Orihime grimaced. The room was dark and heated, she really couldn't see very well into it.

"And thi' is some kind of happy deer farm." Gin said. Forest painting were everywhere along with leaves on the floor.

"Well, there are the fraccion room, where is Harribel's?" Orihime asked puzzled. After a moment of contemplations, all eyes turned to the moat.

"Nooo." Orihime said, fascinated.

"Only one way at find out." Gin said. Ulquiorra groaned.

o0o0o0o

"My daughter, cancer is a serious problem." Aizen said in his best concerned father tone. Szayel stood to his left. Szayel sighed.

"Look, I'm not too happy about this either. Plus, you're not my type." Szayel said.

"See, everything will be fine, even I must take an exam. Everyone has to take one." Aizen said. Harribel didn't say anything, just stared. Szayel sighed again.

"There are two cancers I will be searching for. One is breast cancer." Szayel began, wincing as he saw Harribel's threatening look.

"What's the other." Harribel finally asked. Szayel winced.

"Cervical cancer." Szayel said.

"Where do you search for that one?" Harribel asked suspiciously. Szayel wished he hadn't gotten his degree.

o0o0o0o

Orihime stared at the sharks.

"How are we going to get past them?" She asked in disbelief. Gin thought for a moment before looking at Ulquiorra staring into the water a few feet away. Gin saw the path. He picked up the astonished Ulquiorra and tossed him as far away as he could into the moat. The sharks immediately went after him and Gin pushed Orihime in and followed her underwater. Ulquiorra swam for his life and Gin looked around for an exit. Orihime followed Gin closely as they found a patch of light that was not coming from the outside.

Orihime let out a huge gasp as she broke the surface of a small cave. Gin followed suit and with only one curious look at the direction of where he assumed Ulquiorra would be, he got up into the cave. There were paintings of ocean creatures and a waterbed in the corner of the cave. Orihime and Gin stared openmouthed as they looked around.

"We did it!" Orihime cheered in a hushed voice. "Now what?" Gin thought about it. He pulled something out of his sleeve and cranked a few knobs on it and let the small fox figurine drop from his hand. It rushed to a hole in the cave and hid there to wait for further instruction. Orihime gaped.

"Where did you get that?" Orihime asked.

"I had Szayel make me some, he could prolly make ya some too." Gin said. "Once I completely activate it, it'll film and we can direct it ta the angle we need ta see under Harribel's collar, then we call it the next day." Gin said happily. Orihime nodded, impressed in spite of herself.

"Let's go, I don' know how much longer Ulqui-chan can hold off the sharks." Gin said before leaping into the water. Orihime quickly followed suit.

The sharks were very occupied chasing Ulquiorra, who had somehow managed to apply sonido to swimming and Gin and Orihime got through without a hitch. Standing on the shore, Gin decided it was time to put Ulquiorra out of his misery.

"Shoot to kill, Shinso." Gin said as Shinso shot out and impaled Ulquiorra's coat to the wall. Then, with Ulquiorra attached to Shinso, it retracted bringing Ulquiorra back to the shore. Ulquiorra fled with Gin and Orihime following after.

o0o0o0o

Harribel walked quickly and uncomfortably back to her room, vowing never to look Szayel in the eye again. Judging by his expression when she left, he had made the same vow. Harribel had told him the current locations of her fraccion though, if cancer was that big of a thing, they needed to be checked too. Even if it wasn't known if hollows could get cancer.

o0o0o0o

"Gin, is that why Aizen is making me check everyone for genital cancer, just so you could sneak into Harribel's room?" Szayel asked Gin in a very mentally unstable voice. Gin nodded happily.

"And it worked perfectly." Gin said. Szayel shuddered.

"Come on, you're a doctor now, to protect and serve and all that jazz." Gin said cheerfully. Szayel twitched and returned to the peaceful solitude of his laboratory.

"Another Las Noches resident mentally scarred, mah work here is complete." Gin cheered. Ulquiorra checked over his shoulder for sharks and Orihime smiled at him.

"Now let's go see wha' lil Foxy has done so far." Gin said as he headed to his personal camera room.

Little Foxy as Gin had dubbed the machine had not done much. The only recordings that were sent back were of it getting startled by a painting of a fish. A very big fish. Gin grinned. He was a patient man. Orihime however, was not.

"How much longer will this take?" Orihime asked after about an hour of replaying the part where little Foxy got startled by a painting. Suddenly, Harribel was shown in the picture. Gin stopped his replaying of Little Foxy, Ulquiorra stopped counting the tiles on the ceiling and Orihime stopped complaining as they all three stared at the screen. Harribel grabbed a piece of paper that was tacked to the wall and wrote something on it. Foxy quickly zoomed in to see a title that said, 'People to no longer make eye contact with'. The list included Nnoitra, Aizen, and Gin, and the newest addition was Szayel.

Harribel sighed and laid down on her waterbed and played water sounds on a radio nearby. Then she slowly fell asleep. Gin nearly shouted with victory.

"Come in Foxy, initiate plan A." Gin said. Foxy scrambled onto the waterbed and attempted to make his way to Harribel's collar. The waterbed was very difficult to navigate and Foxy almost found himself sleeping with the fishes several times. He finally made his way into position and all three hooligans stared at Harribel's hollow mask.

"Well, now what?" Gin said defeated. There was no way they were going to get past a hollow mask. Ulquiorra looked devastated.

"Now, plan Z." Orihime said. Gin gasped and opened his eyes, Ulquiorra's eyes widened, and Orihime looked grave. The universe itself gasped in shock.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Harribel, do you have gills?" Orihime asked. Gin and Ulquiorra cowered slightly behind Orihime and watched warily. Harribel sighed in relief.

"So, that's what all that was about, with all your silence Gin I thought you were planning on overthrowing Aizen and taking over Hueco Mundo." Harribel said. Gin looked shifty.

"Well, ya see, I'm a snake, with cold skin, no emotions, that slithers around searching for prey with its tongue, swallowing down those that look tasty." Gin said in a creepy and low voice while drawing himself up to his fullest height and leaning slightly over Harribel in a menacing way. Harribel stared him down while Orihime and Ulquiorra looked away. Aizen, who had just turned the corner heard this, shook his head like he had déjà vu, and turned and walked away quickly. Harribel and Gin were in a stand-off. Neither willing to break the gaze, Gin's smile slowly grew and then he laughed. Orihime and Ulquiorra nervously followed suit and Harribel looked away, mentally reminding herself to underline Gin on her 'people not to look in eyes' list.

"So, do you? Have gills?" Ulquiorra spoke up, breaking the awkward silence. Harribel laughed and all residents who heard it feared for their lives.

"No, I do not have gills." Harribel said with a final laugh as she walked away. Gin, Orihime, and Ulquiorra sighed with relief.

"It's all over." Orihime sighed.

"On ta our next adventure!" Gin shouted as he ran in slow motion away singing his own theme song. Ulquiorra and Orihime looked at each other, then shrugged and joined him. All arrancars seeing the three coming ran for their lives. Aizen was at the forefront of the mad stampede, and though he would deny it later, he was definitely seen throwing less strong arrancars out of his way in hopes that it would slow Gin down enough to give him and his hair curl more time.

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"Stupid, nosy, people. Why can't they just leave well enough alone. So what if I have gills. Must pay Szayel a "friendly visit" and remind him to keep his mouth shut." Harribel mumbled to herself. Elsewhere, Szayel shivered. A small noise made Harribel look to the corner of her room. She got up and went over to the corner of the room and put her hand in a hole in the wall and drew out a small mechanical fox. Harribel narrowed her eyes and hissed one word.

"Revenge."

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Small cliffy, tune in next time and if you liked it, or it made you laugh, drop a review, I love hearing about your favorite parts of the chapter. Also, If you ever had any ideas of what they could do next, just let me know and I'll try to put it in.

Also, side note, how are the updates, perhaps not good, but definitely better!