Pirates in Wonderland Chapter 5

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"And where have you two been," Jack asked his two mini-me's

"Sorry but that cat was seriously freakin me out. He was worse than that rat that tried to eat me." Jack 1 said sheepishly.

"What rat?"

"Last time you said you needed me you told me to search one of the cubbies at the bottom of the rum cabinet for rum and I got almost got eaten by a rat" Jack 1 told Jack.

"Sorry about that...kinda" Jack said.

"Tell that to my right index finger, OH WAIT YOU CAN'T BECAUSE ITS GONE." The first mini-me said.

"Well, I didn't bite it off." Jack retorted.

"I feel so left out..." Jack 2 said in a small voice. Gibbs was following Jack closely, trying to see what Jack was talking to. Gibbs finally gave up when he tripped over a vine for the thirteenth time. Pintel and Ragetti were huddled in close trying to figure out what the cat meant by 'I heard from the flowers'. '

"That can't be good" Pintel said as he noticed the monkey and parrot watching them intently.

"Ahoy mates look lively, there appears to be light ahead of us," Jack shouted. Suddenly, they heard strange noises, like muffled voices and breaking plates. Jack waited til Barbossa was ahead of him for safety measures, then followed him into the light. They broke into a clearing and saw a strange sight. There was a long table cluttered with cups, plates, and teapots. Two of the many chairs that were around the table were filled.

"You're late for TEA..," A strange voice rang out as an unidentified flying object flew towards Jack who ducked causing the cup to hit Barbossa, knocking him out.

"Well that was luck- I mean well-planned" Jack said as the thrower of the cup collapsed in giggles. Jack decided that anyone who could knock out Barbossa with a cup was good in his book. He looked at the culprit and did a double take as he saw a raggedy floppy grey rabbit.

"This is all a bad dream so I'm just going to roll with it," Jack whispered to his mini-me's.

"Probably a good idea" Jack 2 said. Jack shifted his attention to the figure who was sitting at the head of the table with his head bowed. Suddenly the figure looked up. His hair was a wild red that stuck straight out under his impressive purple hat. His eyebrows looked like they blended into his hair. He also had the most vivid green eyes Jack had ever seen. He looked strangely familiar. Suddenly, he looked straight at Jack and grinned hugely. Jack, between being really creeped out and keeping an eye on the creepy rabbit noticed the huge gap between the man's teeth. The man stood up and started walking quickly and unsteadily across the table, knocking over various items, with his two friends giggling and urging him on. He stopped before Jack and said, "I don't know you but you look familiar, I think I would know you," The man said then turning to his friend, "I think I would know her," His friends collapsed in laughter once again as the man smiled blankly and turned back to Jack.

"I am known as The Mad Hatter, but you can call me Hatter cause that's what everyone else says, except when they call me mad but you know what a good friend once told me?" The Hatter said in his lisp, he leaned in close to Jack and whispered, "All the best people are." Hatter leaned back and smiled delightedly. Jack suddenly realized why the Hatter looked so familiar.

"You look like me," Jack said shocked. The crew looked back and forth from Jack and Hatter. Barbossa conveniently chose this time to wake up and looking back and forth from Jack to Hatter, he screamed, "OH DEAR NEPTUNE, THERES TWO OF THEM, THE WORLD ID ENDING IM DYING HELP HEELLPPP, I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE..." Barbossa jumped up and ran for all he was worth into the dark abyss that was known as Wonderland.

"Huh, so that's all I had to do to get rid of him...pity I didn't know this before." Jack said in a matter-of-fact tone before returning to shock as he looked at the man in front of him.

"Hahahaha and these are my friends, The one who is looking obsessively at a spoon is The March Hare, we call him March," Everyone turned to look at March who was holding a spoon high in the air and looking at it obsessively. "Spoon," he twitched. Everyone except Hatter, Jack, and the dormouse backed away slowly.

"And the little lady over there by the teapot is Mallymkun. We call her Mally. And you are?" Hatter continued.

"I am Captain Jack Sparrow, captain of the Black Pearl and terror of the seas, and the scraggly one who ran is Barbossa, Gibbs is the one with the funny beard, Marty is the midget, Cotton is the one over there with the parrot he doesn't talk due to er unfortunate circumstances, and Pintel and Ragetti are the creepy ones in each others arms. Then the monkey is called Jack the undead monkey." Jack said.

"THE Pintel and Ragetti?" Hatter asked shocked. Suddenly Cheshire popped out of nowhere and said,

"Yes, yes it is, and if I do say so myself, it IS as bad as you think..." Cheshire said while twirling and disappearing. The Hatter started laughing in the mad way he laughs. Pintel and Ragetti looked at each other warily and asked,

"What did you hear?" At this the Hatter laughed harder and fell to the ground in laughter, soon joined by March, Mally, Jack the monkey, and Cotton's Parrot. Jack 1 said,

"I think this has something to do with that bloody monkey."

"I agree completely," Hatter said as Jack, Jack 1, and Jack 2 stared in shock. The Hatter sat up and said,

"You know I don't even know any of you three and I still agree completely." Jack 1 and 2 looked at Hatter and joined him laughing on the ground.

"You know you two are just delightful and full of muchness. I like you," Hatter choked out between giggles.

"Aww I love being liked," Jack 2 said from the ground.

"Me too" Jack 1 said. Jack just stared and stared in complete shock.

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