Pirates in Wonderland Chapter 9

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Alice Liddell walked quickly through the path she barely recognized. After a spat with her fiancé about her mother's will, she fled in anger. Everything seemed vague in her memory of the days she spent in Wonderland. That is, if it wasn't all a dream. In her memories, one man stood out clear. A man with red hair, green eyes, and a magnificent hat.

Her looks had lasted so far in the five years she had been away, she was taller, her body more robust, her complexion tanner, her features gentler, and her hair had slightly changed to a darker blond. After she refused Hamish and started her business, things had been good for a while. She was successful, respected, and she had found love, he was nice and made her laugh, she thought they were in love, until his true qualities came out. He was a charmer, but he was greedy and had plans to take over her business as her husband. In which the laws of London decreed that any property belonged to the male in the marriage.

After her mother died, things escalated. In her mother's will, it was stated that her mother had family heirlooms that were very valuable that were hidden, and that they were to go to Alice, Hefley wanted to sell them, but Alice would not allow that, they were her mother's heirlooms. So Alice stormed out and ran to where she was now. Looking for the tunnel to Wonderland, with the heirlooms hidden in her cloak.

She was so wrapped in her anger that she didn't see the root until she had tripped on in. On the ground, Alice turned her head around and saw a gnarled tree root sticking out of the ground. Her breathing quickened, she knew she was close. Alice turned and felt around desperately, looking for the rabbit hole that led to Wonderland.

There. But it was just an indent, filled with years of dead leaves and branches. Her eyes blurred as she angrily pounded the hole that once led to Wonderland. Suddenly, it sunk, burdened by her desperate strength, Alice's eyes widened in shock as the branches and leave sank with her arms caught, and she tumble down arms first into the black abyss. She spun down and down past the roots and the piano until finally she fell through a suspiciously Alice shaped hole though the floor. She landed with a crash on the floor where she immediately went for the key on the table. Grabbing the key tightly in one hand she drank the drink me potion. When she was the right size, she struggled out of her dress and dragged it behind her. Looking back, she grabbed the eat me cake and ran through the door, clutching her clothes to her. As Alice emerged into the sunlight, she smiled and took in the familiar surroundings. Lifting the eat me cake up, she took a tiny bite and grew back to normal size. Grinning, she readjusted her clothes, and set off into the path.

"Oh where, oh where has my dear Hatter gone, oh where, oh where could he be, with his gap-toothed grin and the hat on his head, oh where, oh where could he be." Alice sang distractedly as she struggled to remember the way.

"June?" A voice called out. Alice spun around to see a man standing behind her, long dreadlocks, slightly wobbling in place, a hat, and smelling so bad Alice smelt him from there. Alice looked closely at the man's face.

"Hatter?" Alice asked cautiously. It looked exactly like him, but it didn't feel like him.

"Hey, look June's here." The man said as he started walking towards Alice with his arms wide open. Once he got close enough, Alice drew back her hand and slapped him. Hard.

"Ohhhh, that's not June, June doesn't hit that hard. What do you think, April, or her other sister May?" The man said looking at his shoulders. Jack 1, unbeknown to Alice spoke up.

"June doesn't hit that hard, but May does." Jack 1 said.

"Psst May? She wouldn't hurt a fly. April however, she's a beast. She took pleasure in other people's pain." Jack 2 argued.

"But April had no strength at all, she got other people to slap me." Jack said.

"So, if it's not May." Jack 1 said.

"And it's not April." Jack 2 said.

"And it's not June, then who is it?" Jack finished before turning his short attention span back to Alice. Alice had both eyebrows as high as they could go. All she saw was a man talking to himself.

"Excuse me Miss, you'll have to excuse my mini-me's rudeness," Jack started, skillfully tuning out said mini-me's outraged exclamations that Jack was the rude one.

"But, are you pregnant?" Jack asked. Alice numbly shook her head.

"Any of your sisters, aunts, and female members of you family or friends?" Alice shook her head again.

"Have you loaned anyone money, or do you own a business that may have been robbed by pirates?" Jack continued. Alice shook her head, then paused.

"You know what, there was pirate who has stolen some of my ships, His name was Zack Swallow, or something like that." Jack winced.

"Wouldn't be Captain Jack Sparrow would it?" Jack asked casually, the mini-me's exchanged looks.

"Yes that's it, If I ever get a hold of that menace I'll break him in half." Alice said angrily. Jack winced again.

"I was afraid of that." Jack said while biting his nails.

"OOOO burn. Jack 2 piped up and he fist bumped Jack 1.

"Well, anyway, my name is Johnny Depp, nice to meet you." Jack announced loudly to Alice. Jack 1 sniggered.

"If he's Johnny Depp, I'm Oprah Winfrey." Jack 1 said. Jack 2 laughed loudly.

"And if he's Oprah Winfrey, I'm…Paris Hilton." Jack 2 laughed as he strutted around Jack's shoulders. Jack 1 and 2 burst into giggles as Jack held back a snicker.

"Stop that…it tickles." Jack said before Jack 1 and 2 burst into manic giggles again.

"I'm Alice." Alice interrupted, watching Jack talk to himself was starting to disturb her.

"The Alice." Jack gasped.

"You know about me?" She asked, surprised.

"No I just heard someone say that." Jack said carelessly.

"Oh."

"Soo."

"Do you know where the Hatter is?" Alice finally asked.

"Hatter? Oh me and him go wayyy back. We're like this." Jack showed Alice his crossed fingers.

"That makes you look gay." Jack 2 said.

"Look whose talking." Jack 1 said spitefully.

"That's cold." Jack said.

"Umm, Mr. Depp?" Alice spoke up. At this the mini Jacks burst into laughter again.

"Hey Johnny Depp, can I have your autograph." Jack 2 sniggered as Jack 1 snorted.

"No you may not." Jack replied pridefully. This, needless to say, stopped both mini Jacks in their tracks.

"Well." Jack 1 said insulted.

"MR. DEPP." Alice shouted.

"Yes Ms. Grumpypants." Jack said.

"Where. Is. Hatter." Alice said with a deadly glare.

"Go straight past 17 trees then turn right past 9, Go straight again and you're at the tea table." Jack answered immediately.

"Thank you." Alice said as she ran off counting out loud.

"Way to be a man Jack." Jack 1 mocked.

"Shut it. She didn't look at you like that." Jack said.

"She doesn't even know we exist." Jack 2 said sadly.

"I don't even know you exist. Now lets go find The Hat Man." Jack said as he took off.

"How do I know we exist, this could all be my imagination." Jack 1 said sadly.

"Or my imagination." Jack 2 said sadly.

"Shut it. You're both part of my imagination." Jack said grumpily.

"Oh well, as long as you're sure." Jack 1 said cheerfully. Jack 2 smiled.