Pyejammies gets the credit for the beta.

Ttharman gets the thanks for prereading this chapter.

I get the credit for all mistakes & for the delay of an update. Let's just agree that self-doubt is suffocating and ugly and magnifies writers block ten-fold.

I'm still not sure if I know what I'm doing...

On a windswept hill
by a billowing sea,
my destiny sits
and waits for me.
~Robert Brault

1001 - Chapter 4, Just Her

I was right; the loud noise of construction across the street was a nice buffer from the leaked thoughts of my neighbour's. I wasn't constantly eavesdropping on them and it was a welcome change. I didn't even have to keep my music playing all the time.

The past few days I'd come to realize though, that the noise didn't matter so much, my mind seemed to keep itself preoccupied thinking about her. All my thoughts were revolving around her. Every single one. I kept trying to figure out how and understand the impossibility. I even wondered why? Why me? Why her? Why now?

After all this time, in all the places, in all the cities, in all the world, how did I find her?

Or was it that she found me?

Or was I somehow led to her?

Could it have been… was it really fate? Because if my batteries hadn't died, I wouldn't have ever entered that bakery— it was a confined place, with too many people — not my typical place to stop.

But I did, and she was there, and now I couldn't quit thinking about her.

I would never have known that she existed merely walking distance from me.

I still didn't really know much about her. I knew her first name and how it described her so perfectly. I was aware of the deep intensity that hid in her eyes and the subtle spectrum of highlights in her hair. I also knew that she had eighteen freckles on her left cheek, and twenty-four on her right.

And who could forget the way she smelled — so, so sweet — like strawberry frosting with a hint of honey.

I knew all that and it still wasn't enough.

I needed more.

~1001~

I would have sworn I'd worn the varnish off the floors with my constant pacing around my living room, pausing with each pass at my front door.

I couldn't do it. As soon as I gripped the steel of the doorknob, I became statue-like. Frozen with fear; stunned by the unknown, but so alive with curiosity and want that my skin buzzed. Yet the cowardice proved to be most powerful, beating out all the other emotions every time. The door became my guard, keeping me in, but also, keeping her away.

It was no help to read or watch television, my mind was unable to focus. I couldn't even sleep soundly, so instead I sat for hours on the internet researching.

First, I looked for a plausible answer, could she really shield and block my mind? From what I'd found, all signs pointed to, yes. In the small realm of telepathy, anything was really possible, even my condition itself was still on the unexplainable side, so why not the opposite?

Then I researched her name, all I had to go on was Bella. There were too many Isabella-slash-Bella's in the metropolitan Chicago area to single her out, so instead I found and read on the origin of her name. Often I found myself whispering it aloud over and over into the empty space around me.

Then I looked up her bakery, Sweetie's. I found and read about its history and the public reviews about it that had been written in local publications. I learned it had received a high rating every quarter when inspected. I even studied the menu and its weekly specials.

I found out that the other woman at the bakery was the owner, Renee Dwyer, but I still wasn't sure of her relationship to Bella. An older article I found in the local newspaper archives said Ms. Dwyer was a young widow who had inherited the bakery from her deceased husband, but there was no mention of her having any children or siblings. I even found her husband, Phil Dwyer's, obituary, yet it gave me no new information.

I still didn't know enough.

~1001~

It took me five days, to be more exact — exactly one hundred and twenty one hours — to work up the nerve to walk back to that bakery.

But I still couldn't go inside.

Every day I walked toward her, my headphones in place and covered up with either the hood of my jacket or a beanie pulled down low on my head. I found a tree across the street to lean on where I had a perfect view of the inside of the bakery, so I just watched.

I counted the customers as they arrived and then left, mentally logging their time inside. I now knew that the bakery was the busiest in the morning and at late lunch and I should avoid it at all costs on Wednesdays, those were cupcake days, and their busiest day of the week.

I enjoyed the afternoons when there was a light, constant breeze. That gentle wind would send the sweet smell of sugar dough and iced cakes my way and it would make my mouth water.

But it was also more than that. On those days, when even from across the street I could taste double fudge brownies and blueberry muffins on the air, I could also remember Bella more vibrantly, it was as if she was standing before me again. Her smell invaded my memory, all fruity and sweet. Her eyes wide and caring. Her touch warm and soft. Her lips pink and wet. Her mind so still and so quiet.

I'd never felt anything like this before, I couldn't even define it. What I felt was more than curiosity and it was more than lust.

It was everything.

After wasting almost two weeks without her, I couldn't wait any longer, I had to know. I had to see her again and I needed to test my theories.

My legs trembled as I walked; my palms were cold from sweating. My music was loud and I concentrated on the sharp clang of the piano keys and the mild notes of the saxophone in my ears to try to calm me.

My nose flared as I approached the bakery and my breathing sped up. The closer I got, the more the air thickened with honey and maple and nervousness and hope. It was all I could do to draw it into my lungs without sputtering. I almost felt strangled and choked.

Could I do this?

I stood outside on the sidewalk. Her door merely steps away and stared down at my feet. This was it, all or nothing. This would either be a blessing or a total disappointment.

This could change my life.

Or shatter me.

Then to actually speak to her … I took a few deep breaths and stepped up to the glass entryway.

Here goes everything.

As soon as I opened the door, the air that encircled me was sweet and warm. I closed my eyes and inhaled it deep, breathing it in. It calmed me just enough to get my bearings.

I faintly heard the tinkle of the bell on the door as it closed behind me.

The noise of the other customers wasn't too loud, but I reached up and pressed down on my headphones just to be safe.

I was still standing in the same spot right inside the doorway when I saw her; she was standing behind the counter talking to an elderly woman who was paying for her purchases.

My legs ached to move, my feet even began to slide and shuffle toward her, but my mind was busy being mesmerized. My heart was having a conniption fit in my chest, and my spirit — it was soaring.

I realized instantly that my memories hadn't done her justice. She was more breathtaking than I had given her credit for.

As I stood there watching her and the seconds slipped away, it became a little clearer to me. It was like, if I tried hard enough to concentrate on her and her alone, the room got quieter, as if her shield expanded letting only me in.

The thought popped in my mind that I shouldn't stare, that I should look away from her. That I should try to be casual and not be so intense, but I didn't know if I had it in me, this was intense.

My nervousness was gone, instead now I was filled with something more than an attraction that couldn't be denied or ignored. I had a reason to approach her. A purpose. I had a need.

For a brief second, she peeked up from the open money drawer and tilted her head around to see who was standing behind her current customer.

That would be me.

Our eyes met for mere milliseconds, it was so brief, but I felt it. I felt the excitement, the satisfaction, the possibilities, and the hope — they all expanded in my chest filling me and squeezing out my worries and my dread.

It was crazy that I suddenly didn't feel so lost and alone anymore and yet nothing had really happened.

She looked back to the money in her hand and her customer, so I leaned a little more to my left to see around the woman in front of me to watch her.

Bella smiled so big it felt like the air thinned and lifted from around me. She kept chatting with the lady ahead of me, but her eyes kept dancing over to meet mine. Her bottom lip caught under her teeth as if to stop her grin.

I swear I thought my heart forgot to beat for a minute, because it seemed that just, maybe, she was happy to see me too.

When the woman finally said her goodbyes and stepped away from the counter, I practically jumped into the exact spot in which she had been standing.

Bella watched me move closer, she wiped her hands on her apron and then tucked them into her front pockets.

"Headphone guy, you're back." She said with a small voice that was quieter than I remembered and it almost sounded like a question.

So I answered her, "Yeah, I am."

I spoke with a boldness I didn't know I had, but I'd never been surer of anything. This was the right time, this was the right place. Maybe even the right girl.

"Good," she murmured and I thought in that instant that the crown might blow off the top of my head and spin around just like in those old cartoons.

But, of course, it didn't.

"My sister said you paid her ten dollars to use our bathroom the other day..." She reached around and lifted something beside the register and pulled out a ten dollar bill. Then she handed it toward me. "I would've only charged you five," she teased with a soft smile.

Her eyes were so alive and vibrant; I could have stared into them all day long.

I reached out for her outstretched hand and gently grabbed her wrist, finally, her skin on mine. The wave of quiet and calm that overtook me was swift and powerful, it was something that I'd only ever experienced before in my dreams. It was perfect.

I turned her hand, palm side up, which was holding onto the bill, and curled her fingers around it with my other hand, closing her fist. Then I didn't let go, I couldn't. Not yet anyway. "Keep it. I don't want it. I came back here to thank you. That day…" I swallowed hard as I searched for an explanation. Of all the things I had thought about her — about finally seeing her again, I hadn't even considered what I was going to say.

"That day I was having a bad day and you helped me… so much. Thank you." I still couldn't look away from her, nor was I going to release her hand until I had to.

She had this smile on her face, and her lips were apart, and her eyes were wide. She looked down to our hands, up to my face, and then back down again.

Once again, I found myself wishing to hear her thoughts and her thoughts alone. I just couldn't read her; it was an odd thing for me.

She placed her free hand on the top of mine. We looked liked kids who were trying to get the top spot of the handle of a baseball bat. "You're welcome, but at least take something for your money. How about a muffin or a bagel?" She didn't pull away as she asked.

"Something sweeter," I suggested. "Something with strawberries."

Her smile grew bigger and it was like I felt the sunshine break through the clouds on a dreary day and instantly it warmed me. She did that.

"Strawberries are a good choice, they're my favorite."

"Mine too," I admitted, especially since I'd met her.

She slowly pulled her hands away and mine dropped to the counter. The sound around me was minimal; I even turned down my music some.

She bent over to grab a small paper bag and wax paper. My eyes never left her, and hers kept a close watch on me.

She turned and opened one of the glass doors that lined the wall behind her. She held it open with her hip and put a few items in a bag.

It didn't matter to me what she gave me now, I had intentions of visiting this bakery a lot in the near future. I would sample all the goods.

She folded the top over on the bag and handed it to me. I took it and set it down on the counter.

"Thank you." I stuck out my hand, remembering to properly introduce myself. "My name is Edward Masen."

She laughed as she reached for my hand. "You're welcome, again, and I am Bella, Bella Swan."

Our handshake was slow and deliberate, savouring almost. Her hand seemed so small compared to mine. Her skin was soft and smooth and I loved the feeling of its warmth, there was nothing like it. My thumb lazily rubbed over the back of her hand.

Touch.

Touch.

Touch.

There was such quietness around me.

I'd never been able to ignore my surroundings like this; I never imagined it could be so peaceful.

"It's wonderful to meet you, Bella Swan."

I heard the door open behind me and the rattle in my mind buzzed a little louder. Bella looked behind me at the parade of customers that had walked into the store. I didn't need to look; I felt the shake of the floor through the soles of my shoes.

It reminded me that our time was limited; I needed to get on with it.

She started to let go of my hand.

"Go to dinner with me." I all but blurted out.

"Seriously?" She asked as her cheeks faded to the pinkest pink.

"Well," I blew out a quick breath knowing there really wasn't an easy way to say this. "Yeah, I want to take you to dinner but it will have to be at my place. To be honest with you, I really," I shook my head and closed my eyes. I leaned forward as I tried to explain, "I don't ..." I opened my eyes and stared into hers again, she made it easier for me to speak. "I don't do right, er—well around crowds, um... you know, lots of people? It's too difficult for me to deal with for reasons I'd rather not say right now. So if you don't mind being alone with me, I'd love to get to know you better."

She squeezed my hand and slowly dropped it as the people behind us came closer.

"I'd think I'd like that, but to also be honest with you, I think you should know that it would be only as friends. For reasons that I'd rather not explain. Just friends. So, do you still want to? I mean, is that alright with you?"

I nodded, "Friends, you say? I think that sounds just fine. You can never have too many friends."

Friends I could deal with, of course I was sure I'd be exclusive with her this very second if she were to ask, but if she was offering friendship then that's what I was taking.

I was positive of one thing though for sure, and that was the fact that I needed Bella Swan in my life.

In every way.

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