Just figured that I'd let you guys know that all author's notes will be featured at the bottom of the page from now on so that you can read and then hear my thoughts. So here's the story!
We finally reached the house, and when I looked back, I saw her mouth drop. I opened the garage door and pulled in, quickly opened the door and grabbing EJ's carrier in one hand and the groceries in the other. I opened the door and let myself in, holding it open so Bella could follow.
"Your house is amazing, Edward." She told me, gazing up at the staircase.
"Thank you." I told her as I hurried into the kitchen. Unfortunately, the sudden lack of motion woke little Eric, and he started wailing when he realized that he was still hungry. Without bothering to try and open the buckles, I quickly set him on the island and ripped open the package of bottle tops. I looked back at the counter to see Bella gently lifting EJ out of his carrier as I was shaking the bottle mixture. After heating the mixture and testing it on my wrist, I gathered EJ into my arms and began feeding him. He hungrily sucked it up, and I sighed as he stopped crying.
"You're a wonderful father." Bella murmured as she timidly sat down in a chair. I followed her and sat down next to her.
"Not really. I'm so lost sometimes." I admitted softly as I stared down at my son's green eyes. They seemed to be thanking me for the food, and I smiled.
"But you're trying." She insisted as she looked at the two of us. "And you love him."
"Yes, I love him. More than anything." I whispered as I reached up a hand to brush the peach fuzz hair out of his eyes. Already, he seemed to take Tanya's strawberry blonde hair color, but it seemed to be just as uncontrollable as mine. I realized how cold his head seemed and cursed.
"I forgot his hat!" I exclaimed as I jumped up and hurried towards his room. A moment later, I was making my way down the stairs with his hat securely on his head and a spit rag over my shoulder, ready to burp him as soon as I was done.
I walked into the kitchen and found Bella kneeling on the counter, trying to reach a bottle that was all the way at the top. I looked to the stove and saw what appeared to be a pot of soup simmering. My jaw dropped when I saw the row of bottles that were filled with the appropriate amount of formula, their lids tightly secured.
"Thank you." I said sincerely. She turned around suddenly, startled at the noise. Seeing that she was losing her balance, I set EJ down quickly and ran over to her, catching her just as she fell.
"I'm so sorry!" she said quickly, red in the face as I helped her to her feet. "I'm really clumsy."
"It's my fault, I startled you." I said as I made my way over to EJ, who by now was getting concerned that the bottle wasn't being held to his mouth anymore. I picked him up and fed him the last of the bottle. I rested his head on my shoulder, ready to burp him when I stopped.
"I…I don't remember how to do this." I admitted, slightly ashamed. I must have seemed like an awful father, forgetting his hat and how to burp my own child in the same hour. She laughed delicately and reached out for him, stealing the rag too. She made sure I was watching before gently patting his back and bouncing up and down on her heels as she walked around the kitchen. I marveled at how good she was at this, and must have voiced my admiration out loud, for she answered me.
"I'm not really good. I've just had recent practice." Bella explained.
"Sure." I told her wryly, and she smiled. She grinned when we both her a tiny noise coming from her shoulder, and didn't seem to notice that he had spit up all over the back of her shirt, completely missing the cloth.
"Such a good baby, EJ!" she praised him in a bubbly voice as she pulled him back to smile at him.
"Oh, Eric James, you just spit up all over Miss Bella's shirt," I sighed as I came up behind her, smiling at him. "You're just as messy as Daddy."
"Oh, I don't mind." She told me as she realized what I was talking about. I rolled my eyes and motioned for her to wait there. I ran up the stairs, sliding into my room. I ignored the right side of the bed where Tanya's things still sat and made my way over to my closet, pulling out an old sweatshirt of mine. I was half-tempted to give her a shirt of Tanya's, but that would have been amazingly awkward. I'm sure Tanya would have been fine with it, wherever she was, but Bella would feel weird, I'm sure.
"Here you go. There's a bathroom down the hall if you want to change." I told her as I traded her the t-shirt for EJ. She smiled at me and crept down the hall. I set Eric in his little carrier and stirred the soup. After pouring the hot soup into two bowls, I made a few sandwiches, not sure if she'd want anything else. I noticed that my hands were shaking.
Calm down, Edward. I told myself. This isn't your first date in high school. This isn't even a date. You were married! Chill out!
Bella emerged a few moments later in the sweatshirt, with her shirt, now wet and soggy, in her hands.
"Here, let me take that. We can wash it right now." I told her as I threw it into the washing machine.
"Thank you." She said as she brought the bowls and plates over to the table.
"I could've made the soup," I told her. "I did invite you over for lunch."
"Yeah, but I wanted to help." She said. We ate in silence for a moment, until she spoke again.
"EJ is a beautiful baby." Bella said quietly, a smile on her face. I grinned, and then remembered.
"He needs a nap." I said as I got up and started un-buckling him. She followed me, helping to pull him out of the carrier.
She wrinkled her nose adorably, and held EJ away from her. "No, he needs a diaper change."
"I…I don't think that I've ever done that." I said in wonderment. How had I gone the past two days without changing him once?
"How could you go this far without changing his diaper once?" she asked incredulously, obviously mirroring my thoughts.
"I have a mother who is celebrating her first grandchild and two sister-in-laws, one of whom is pregnant with twins." I told her as I took EJ and made my way up the stairs with her on my tail.
She laughed, and I reveled in the beautiful sound. God, I was a miserable excuse for a man. Here I am, a widower whose wife died less than a week ago and I already can't stop thinking about this woman who I've known for less than 3 hours.
She oohed and awed at his nursery, which was green with cherry colored wood furniture. Tanya had said something about green being a soothing color, but I had just been angry because it had seemed like a hint to the baby's sex, which I had chosen not to know.
I laid him down on the changing table and kept my hand on his little warm stomach while I dug around in the drawers for a diaper. Finding one at last, I pulled it out…along with six others. They exploded across the room, and I could hear Bella laughing from across the room. I turned to glare at her, and she tried to stop.
"Are you going to just stand there and laugh at me, or are you going to actually help me figure this out?" I asked crossly, trying to keep the smile off my face unsuccessfully. She giggled and made her way over to me.
"Hold his tummy carefully," she instructed.
"Wait, tummy?" I asked incredulously. "I haven't heard anyone use the word 'tummy' since I was five!"
"Exactly." She told me, despite the fact that she was blushing furiously. "He's a baby, so he has a tummy. It turns into a belly when he's two or three, and it's a stomach when he's seven."
"Well," I said amusedly. "I'm glad that I didn't mess up and accidentally call it a stomach."
She laughed again and continued on. "Now you take off his sleeper carefully, keeping your hand on his tummy so that he doesn't roll off."
I did just as she told, gently unsnapping the tiny buttons on the bottom and tugging it over his head. He fussed a little when it got pulled over his head, but he didn't start crying again.
"Now, you have to keep one hand on his tummy," she instructed as she showed me what to do. She placed one of he hands on top of mine on his tummy. I was once again struck with that electric sensation, but ignored it and focused on the task at hand. "You take off the first diaper…"
As soon as the plastic fasteners on the diaper were released, the revolting smell filled the air.
"AUGH!" we exclaimed in disgust. We laughed again as we realized that we shared the same looks. Putting on a brave face, she continued.
"Then, you wipe gently, set the new diaper on to prevent…showers…and pull the old one off." She explained, guiding my hands to do exactly that. I took the dirty diaper out of her hands and threw it in the trash can.
"Then you fasten the new one, and voila! You just changed your first diaper, Mr. Cullen." Se told me with a radiant, proud smile on her face. I smiled in return and tickled EJ's tummy a little bit. He smiled up at me, and I gasped.
"He…he…he just…smiled…at me!" I said in shock. She grinned down at EJ.
"Of course you smiled at your daddy, little Eric James! You're such a happy baby!" she cooed as she picked him up and carried him off to the closet. After a moment, I followed dumbly behind her, stammering.
"But…he's never smiled at me before!"
"Well, there's a first time for everything!" she exclaimed cheerily as she pulled a fresh onesie out of the drawer.
"Bella…he's never smiled before…at anything!" I told her, trying to get her to understand.
She frowned. "Well, how old is he?"
I counted in my head. One for the night in the hospital, two for here… "Three days" I finally said. She smiled again and continued to search for something. A moment later, she pulled out a new pair of socks triumphantly.
"Edward, he's only three days old! Maybe he's had nothing to smile at yet." She explained. Maybe it was just a girl thing, to understand all of these things about children. "Now, you are going to get him dressed. By yourself."
I looked at her in horror. "I haven't done that yet either!"
"I figured as much." She said as she gently set him down on the changing table again. "But like I said, there's a first time for everything."
"But I might hurt him." I said softly. Deep down, that was my number one fear. That I would be an awful father and hurt him, or that he'd get sick and never get better, or that he wouldn't wake up one morning. She must have noticed, because she was no longer teasing, but soft and reassuring.
"You won't hurt him. I promise." She said solemnly, and ushered me over to her. I followed glumly and stopped when I was at her side.
"I'm going to tell you to keep your hand on his tummy and I'll stay right here, but you're on your own right now." She told me, and after ensuring that I had a good hold on him, removed her hand. Ignoring the irrational ache I felt, I started talking to EJ as I picked up the onesie.
"EJ, this is important. I need you to tell me if I'm hurting you, ok?" I told him. He looked up at me solemnly with his little fist in his tiny mouth. I took that as my cue to start, and I gently slid the bottom half under him. I started snapping the buttons closed carefully, taking extra care not to pinch him. When I finished with the bottom and side buttons, I needed to slide his arms into the little holes. Unfortunately, he was very determined to suck on his fist. He wailed when I had to pull it out of his mouth, and as soon as I was done, I gently gave it back. Finally, I was done, complete with socks. I praised him for being such a good baby and picked him up victoriously. He smiled at me again and I felt myself melt inside.
"Edward! You did it!" Bella said excitedly. I set him down in his bassinet and realization finally set in. I picked Bella up in a hug that would even challenge one of Emmett's massive bear hugs. I didn't even notice that I swept her of her feet until she squealed when I spun her.
"I did it!" I yelled triumphantly. Bella just laughed breathlessly, red in the face. I pumped my arms in the air and ran over to the bassinet.
"Did you hear that little baby? Your daddy just did something all by himself!" I told him with exulting happiness.
"You know what?" Bella said. I looked up at her curiously. "This calls for a celebration. You put him down for a nap, and I'll go get some ice-cream."
"That'd be wonderful." I told her warmly, and with that she was gone. I put EJ sleep and turned on the piano compositions. Just as I was leaving, I realized that the baby monitor needed to be turned on, so I flipped the switch and grabbed the other one.
I made it to the kitchen and set the baby monitor down as I started cleaning up. I had just finished and was putting the carrier by the door when Bella pulled up in her truck. She got out and held up a white bag with a smile on her face, and I held the door open for her again as she came in. I held my finger over my mouth and pointed to the baby monitor before she said anything, and she smiled again and nodded. She set the bag down and pulled out two spoons from the bag. I laughed quietly when she pulled out a carton of Ben and Jerry's and a can of whipped cream.
"I realized as soon as I got in the car that I didn't remember where the ice cream place was, so I just went back to the store." She said apologetically. I shook my head, still laughing.
"It looks great."
She smiled, and hesitated for a second. I was about to ask what was wrong, when she cocked her head towards the monitor. I was confused for a moment, until she looked at me with her big, beautiful brown eyes all full of wonder. So much for normal, recent widower with an infant son. Edward, you're a freak.
"Is that Clair de Lune?" she asked. I nodded, and she smiled. "I love this song. This recording sounds different though, more personal. Who's playing?"
"I am." I told her. Bella's jaw dropped.
"That's you? You're amazing!" she told me, her face flushing when she realized how loud she was. I smiled, but shrugged. I was never good with receiving praise, so I wasn't about to tell her that the next recording was an original composition.
We spent the next hour or so playing Twenty Questions to figure each other out. I laughed hysterically when she told me about when she literally fell into the washing machine, and she returned the favor when I told her about Emmett, Jasper, and I getting caught outside in the snow in our underwear as part of a dare. I was startled when I heard a sudden wailing noise from the monitor instead of the piano music, and assuming the worst, ran upstairs. Bella followed me, but at a slower pace. She obviously didn't see the urgency in this situation.
I burst into the nursery, not stopping until I reached the bassinet. There he was, red-faced and perfectly fine. My little boy. God, I loved him.
"What's wrong, little man?" I asked him softly as I picked him up and headed straight for the rocker. I started rocking him gently. "Daddy's here, little Eric James. Shh. I love you, you know."
I didn't even realize Bella was standing in the doorway until EJ fell asleep a few minutes later.
"You two are adorable." She told me matter of factly. I blushed a bit, and shrugged again, which was slightly difficult, as EJ was leaning on my shoulder.
She smiled when I looked down and stroked his perfect little face softly. It was moments like these that I loved nothing more than being a father.
"I think that I'm going to head out now. I've got to e-mail my newest article, but I'll leave my number in case you need something." She said reluctantly. I tried not to pout like a child as my heart sank. I hadn't had such a good time in so long, and it seemed as if my heart was aching as I watched her getting ready to leave. I got up and set EJ in his bassinet, following Bella down the stairs.
"I mean it. Call me for anything." She said firmly as she handed me the piece of paper. Blushing at her own boldness, she added on, "I mean, if you want to."
"Of course. I'll talk to you later, Bella." I said as I followed her out the door, watching her leave. With one last wave, she was gone.
"Shh…shh…I'm sorry Eric, I don't know what's wrong." I murmured frantically as I rocked him back and forth. It was currently 8:30, and I was trying to get EJ to stop crying and go to sleep. I had put him to sleep at seven, just like my mother told me, but he had woken up half an hour ago and hadn't stopped crying since then. I had called all six of my family members, but none of their suggestions had worked. He had been fed, changed, burped, bathed (I was incredibly proud of myself for doing that all by myself fin the sink, and EJ had smiled at me tickling his stomach…I mean tummy…again), and rocked endlessly. I was reaching wits end, and was now worried that something bad was going to happen. Getting a sudden idea, I walked swiftly down the stairs, trying my best not to jostle EJ and upset him more. I searched frantically until I found the little slip of white paper, and after three long rings, she finally picked up.
"Hello?" her beautiful voice floated out of the phone. I relaxed a bit more, but that was ruined when my little bundle of joy let out a particularly loud and shrill wail.
"Hey Bella, its Edward," I said in a frazzled voice, interrupted by another wail. "And Eric. Listen, I'm really sorry to bother you, but EJ's been crying for the past half an hour and nothing I'm doing is helping and I'm I getting worried and exhausted-"
"I'll be there in five minutes." She interrupted me. I could hear the car starting on the other end, so I said good-bye and quickly hung-up.
Just as she said, five minutes later she was knocking on my door. I opened the door and let her in, telling her to ignore the mess. The entire lower floor was littered with baby toys, and books, and blankets. The kitchen was still wet and soapy from the bath, and his old onesie was sitting there on the floor.
"Eric James Cullen," she said as she reached for him. "Have you been giving your poor father a hard time?"
He wailed louder in response, and she flinched in response. I ran a hand through my very messy hair and followed her into the living room. She sat down on the couch and shrugged out of her coat with her hands still holding my screaming baby. I took her coat and hung it up on the rack by the door, the plopped down on the couch next to her.
"My, my, my, you have a set of lungs, don't you?" she asked rhetorically.
"Yes, he does." I agreed wearily. She looked over at me sympathetically.
"What am I doing wrong now?" I asked, throwing my hands up in the air for the millionth time that day.
"Nothing." She said softly. I looked over at her, and she smiled reassuringly. "Babies are very fussy, and they can't tell you what they want. You're doing wonderfully."
I smiled in thanks, and she hesitantly put her hand on top of mine. I smiled back at the gesture, and she shyly smiled. She looked so beautiful when she blushed. Snap out of it Edward!
"I've got it!" she said after a minute of his crying with no end in sight. "Edward, do you have a piano here?"
I nodded and led her over towards the raised platform with my other baby (baby grand, that is).
"Play for him. If it helps when he's asleep, why not now?" Bella suggested. I snapped my fingers in realization and begun playing the song I wrote for Esme. AS soon as I finished, I realized that EJ had quieted down a bit. He was still crying, but he wasn't nearly as vocal.
"Edward, that was amazing. Did you write that?" Bella said in awe. I nodded, and her jaw dropped once again. She soon moved over to the couch, where she laid down with little EJ in her arms.
When I had played all the songs I knew by heart, I looked over and saw that my very vocal child had finally fallen asleep, as well as poor Bella. Her arms were cradling him gently, and they were cuddled together for warmth. After snapping a picture to show her later, I picked Eric up and carried him up to his bassinet. I got the monitor again, and headed back downstairs. Bella had curled into a ball, and my heart softened at the sight. I sighed, and then made a snap decision.
Picking her up in my arms, I carried Bella into the guest bedroom, laying her down on the bed gently. I took off her shoes in attempts to make her more comfortable, and just as I was tucking her in, I heard a buzzing noise. I looked around, and when it stopped, I shrugged and pulled the blanket again. But then the buzzing continued, and I quickly realized that it was Bella's phone. I dug it out of her (well, my) sweatshirt pocket and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Bell- oh. Who is this?" A gruff voice asked. Chief Swan. I realized. He must be calling because Bella isn't home.
"Chief Swan? This is Edward Cullen." I explained. "I'm terribly sorry for this confusion."
"What's going on? Where's Bella?" he asked, sounding incredibly suspicious.
"Well, Bella helped me with my son today in the supermarket and told me to call her if I needed anything." I started.
"Yes, she told me that part." He interrupted.
"Well, tonight, he wouldn't stop crying. I called my parents, my brothers and sister's in law, but nothing they suggested helped. I was getting worried that something was wrong, and as a last resort, called Bella. She very kindly came over here and helped me get him to sleep, but she fell asleep too. I just put her in the guest room, and I figured that I'd just let her sleep." I explained calmly.
"How old is your son?" he asked.
I answered, surprised by the random question. "He's 3 days old, sir."
"Call me Charlie. And I understand. One night, Renée had gone out with friends and Bella was inconsolable. I had no idea what to do…I don't know what I would've done if Renée hadn't come home. How are you holding up?" he asked gently.
"I'm doing alright, now that EJ is sleeping." I replied with a sigh.
"Well, no funny business! But I guess just let her sleep." he told me, sighing.
"I wouldn't dream of it sir." I told him with a laugh as I made my way downstairs. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Edwin." He said.
"It's Edwa-" I corrected, but was cut off by the click of the phone. An hour later, the lower lever was straightened up and I was dead on my feet. Falling onto the couch, realized that I hadn't had a full nights sleep since Tanya's false alarm last week. My last thought before I fell asleep was a prayer that EJ wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night.
Well, here's my hugo-fatty author's note. A few things I think you all should know:
Edward will be very possessive in this story, always thinking MY baby rather than THE baby, etc. I mean, think of how possessive he is of Bella!
I was so proud of myself for coming up with that baby name. I started this story with no idea of what to name him, but then it hit me. To prevent spoilers for BD, I'll just tell you to think BD before Jacob's little car trip (which gives nothing away), plus its Emmett and Jasper's initials! I was so proud of myself!
Bella is a bit more confident in this story. The reason? She feels that she should try and show Jacob how fine she is, so there's a bit of a reason. Here's a bit of her point of view when she found Edward and EJ in the grocery store:
I was walking down the aisles of the grocery store, ready to get Charlie's medicine and go home, when I heard a wailing noise. Thinking that it might be Angela, I turned down the aisle, ready to help out my old friend. I was shocked when instead of petite Angela and little Ben Jr., I found a Greek god and a very tiny baby. The child was flailing his arms and legs, and the man was trying to get him to stop. He looked so gorgeous that it almost hurt, with his piercing green eyes and his tousled bronze hair. He looked almost like he was chiseled out of stone. I could hear him pleading with the child hopelessly.
"I'm new at this, ok? Shh…" he murmured. A few moments of staring later, he cried out in frustration.
"These god damned straps!" he said. At least, that's all I could hear. I walked closer to hear more and noticed that he hadn't even realized he wasn't alone.
"I'm sorry for being cross baby, Daddy's just very, very lost." He apologized hopelessly. Making a snap decision, I hesitantly stepped forward and nudged his hand out of the way, unbuckling the final strap.
Umm…oh yeah. Someone mentioned that they hated Tanya, and I figured that I'd explain her. Edward thought he loved her, and vice versa until EJ showed up and informed them otherwise. I don't think that Tanya is a bad person, and so in my story, she will be referred to with nothing but admiration. After all, she was Edward's wife. And to someone who said he was moving on too quickly, my response is that while he is grieving the loss of his wife, he hasn't really been happy for a while. When Bella comes in, she changes that. He's still mad at himself for moving on, and moving on quickly, but he can't change the way he feels.
Can I just say aww? Because writing this story, I gave myself warm and fuzzy feelings. Edward is an adorable daddy and EJ is a sweet baby. But anyone out there who knows a lot about little babies like him (I'm talking like days or weeks old), let me know if I'm having him do things he shouldn't be able to do. I'm nowhere near ready to have kids, and I was 10 when my youngest cousin, who's like my daughter, was this little.
All of the characters in this story will go back and forth between EJ and Eric and Eric James. For one, everyone is still trying out nicknames. After all, he's only 3 days old! Two, they are all his names and can all be used interchangeably. Three, it's like how sometimes, one person will have a special nickname for you, but only they'll call you that.
There will be some cursing in this story, since they are all adults who have been talking like that for a while. I'm not talking about dropping the F-bomb or anything like that, but words like shit and damn. Sorry if it offends you.
That's it for now. Reviews please (even anon.)? Seriously, if you think Edward is a jerk, tell me. If you love it, tell me. If you think that little EJ should just shut up, tell me. If you think that there needs to be a French speaking dwarf from Canada named Roberto, tell me. I may not change anything, but if I like the idea, I might. Oh, and visit my poll! I'll give you a virtual Edward if you do! Mwah! ;)