Doubt
Random Beginning Notes: I hate you Shura, you got your name on the character list now so I can't keep making fun of him. Grr! And here's a random ass comment "I can justify a Hiei/Mukuro pairing cause she talks to him like she's known him as a friend for years. You can't say the same about Hiei cause he'd still talk like he normally does even if the president's there." I'm not saying that because I'm including that content in here. I'm trying to avoid that type of thing so everyone's happy... But unfortunately for some I'm considering working with it. I'm hoping to focus more on them as friends who help each other heal than anything else. If it does end up being a relationship in that sense, I won't make it the focus of this story. In fact, I'd put minimal details because the story isn't about their relationship. It's about something even bigger than two people alone. If anyone has any severe objections... Call my agent.

Chapter 15: Painted Slate

The man reappeared in the screen with a smug look on his face. He lit his cigarette, took a drag on it and then said, "You can get up now. No one's here anymore. No one of importance to us anyway."

And he stood up, pulling out the the Spirit Sword that was still rammed into his abdomen. He watched as the sword uncurled itself into a man once more. "What a fight. They had so much potential yet they used it so horribly. I take it we'll be seeing each other in a few months?"

"Of course, Mr. Victor. Make sure you have a team assembled by then. You do have people in mind, don't you? I don't want to pull any strings at the moment. Much too busy these days, you know."

"Yeah, I have a couple of names in mind. Now if those lazy good-for-nothings would contact me I would be able to tell you right now. But it looks like I'll have to use force."

"I'll look forward to your progress."

"About the money SOMEONE owes..."

"Ha! Chump change. I don't need it, and I don't need the girl's tears either." He paused. "Oh, one more thing, Toguro. I want one more favor before I go back to my private life... Take out the trash."

"With pleasure."

-:-:-

The second Hiei's eyes opened, he fought the impulse to go jump straight to attention, an impulse he kept even as a general. He looked around the room, sensing only vague familiarity and paranoia creep up his spine. He sat up and looked frantically around for something that he could firmly state was foreign or not. They were the same white walls of his room, but there was a computer on the desk. The sheets were a different color and the window on the wall wasn't there. It definitely wasn't Kurama's room so... It wasn't until Mukuro came in, with a look on her face deeply lacking concern, that he realized where he was. He immediately looked at his wrist, touching where he knew the blade had been.

"So I take it you have a good sleep?" she asked somewhat mockingly with an insincere touch of sympathy. "You were pretty tired yesterday. You passed out on the floor so I dragged you over here since I was doing an all-nighter again. You slept like a log. Must be nice since you can't get more than three hours in when you can let yourself sleep."

"What did you do to me?" Hiei growled under his breath.

"Don't ask a question if you already know the answer. It gives the answerer a sense false of hope that they know something you don't, and upon realizing that you already knew, they feel even more like fools than if they give a completely incorrect one. So do you know or don't you?"

"Obviously. I should have a scar at least and I shouldn't've been in this room because I was in mine and I locked the door."

"Not if I unlocked it and as I said, dragged you in here. And for the record, you should put on some weight. You're as heavy as a thirty-two bottle case of bottled water. No, lighter than that."

"I know if I walk into that room, I'll see blood on the floor, whether it's a stain or dried. It doesn't matter. I cut my wrist and blood got everywhere. Tell me what you did."

"Your logic is wonderful, but you failed to come to a conclusion and that's just horrible. That's the easiest part of reasoning. Unless your unsaid conclusion is that I pulled out a magic wand and waved a bunch of pixie dust to save you from whatever you did or that I concocted a potion that heals people no matter what. Or on the other end you could have too much to drink and dreamt that you stumbled into your room, when in fact you wandered into mine and passed out on my bed... Which luckily for both of us, I wasn't occupying at the time."

"You're so full of shit. You gave me your blood, didn't you? And don't go on and on about something no one cares about-"

"Hey, that's pretty funny, there. No one's in this room other than us and no one but us is hearing this conversation... Except maybe the busybody neighbors who get up at three in the morning in preparation for the latest-"

"I just want answers."

"Need I remind you about asking questions you already know the answer to? And look, I don't sit there and say, 'Oh, I'll annoy Hiei, give him my blood, and drink his. That'll be funny!' I enjoy it as much as you do. On a side note... Your blood tastes like medicine. You should lay off the alcohol. And I'm guessing your next question will be why I even bothered to do it. I look out for my own, okay? And besides, you didn't mean to do that. No one who cuts themselves does. Especially when they cut across the street instead of down it." She demonstrated with her index finger. "You were pretty much in medical school, you know know how to kill yourself."

"Well, I hate your blood. It's disgusting."

"Yeah, and I hate the effects of it. For reasons I don't want to share with you, it has that effect on people. I'd apologize for it if it was my fault. How you deal with that is your business, not mine. And you better not make it my business. You live your live your way, I'll live it mine. If they intersect, then it better be on pleasant circumstances or well, I'll leave that for the time you see someone stupid enough to try. If that comes."

"Whatever you say. The feeling's not mutual. If you were in my position, I wouldn't've helped YOU."

"See, that's what makes me sick about you. Someone asks something of you, you expect payback. And you'll only involve yourself if there's something in it for you. You take too many people for granted because you think everyone's against you. At least when I do something I try to be sincere. Or maybe I'm too filled with self-importance. I won't ask your opinion. These days I won't bother with yours when it's a serious matter. I just thought about your sister, too. It would be horrible if she found out her brother wasn't there to see her again."

"You...! How do you even know her? Did Yusuke-"

"I'll leave him out of the conversation. If you wanna know the summary, he had no where to put the tape in so he came back there and I ended up being in the room to see it. I know I should have been working, but that's my problem for going into a territory where I'm not wanted. While we're discussing that mission, I want to know just what in God's name you wear thinking when you went over there like that? And I know you did because you just got that look on your face like you've been caught. It's the only explanation as to why you went missing like you did."

"Yeah, well, I didn't kill anyone. Being hypothetical about it won't help either. I could've, yeah, I did. Did I? No."

"You're so fucking stupid. I'll end up not being held accountable for you and then they'll take you somewhere else if they're feeling generous. I've been pretty lenient with you. I could actually set it up so that you would have to be accompanied by someone at all times to be sure you don't do anything stupid. And I've been told that if I'm smart, I'd do it. But I don't because I don't believe in constant surveillance. Nor do I have it set up so that you could be arrested if you're seen in any areas I believe you shouldn't be going to. What is it between the time I got put in this crap job and the time we were partners that made you so arrogant? What happened to you actually thinking through your head a good deal of the time when we were working together?"

"Mukuro, if that's true and I have changed that badly, then you're wasting your time. You may be called an eloquent speaker by everyone but I can still be unaffected. I don't feel anymore compelled to die for Stalin after he gives his speeches than when I first went into the army. For the record, I just joined to get fed. Sorry, if that hurts your three time veteran feelings."

"Believe me, it takes more than anti-army sentiment to make me cry."

"Don't cry. I'll start laughing and you'll get all offended."

"Unfortunately, I know that about you, too." She placed the glass in her hand on the desk and then pushed him down on the bed with one hand. "Drink some water. It'll clear your thoughts and get some rest. You'll need it. You don't need to go to work today either. I'm late now... Well, more like a couple of hours late. Just stay here and do whatever you want. I don't care right now. I'm not going to hold any of this over you. Whether you do the opposite for me, I don't care. I can't control your thoughts." She walked out.

"...Tch. You say that but you'd stab me in the back too. Each and every one of you." Hiei stared at the ceiling.

-:-:-

"Oh, so you decided to show up today?" Kirin asked, though it sounded an awful lot like he was trying not to sound sarcastic. He immediately grabbed a coffee mug. "I thought you weren't coming today. Getting sick again."

"I'm healthy as a horse. You know that. The only thing wrong with me is that I have nasty migraines... If there are any ones that aren't so bad," Mukuro replied. "I was pulling an all-nighter again and I guess I feel into a deep sleep so I didn't hear the alarm clock. I try to keep it low. I normally wake up if Zamyatin walks into a wall or something... Equate that sound to the sound of a one hundred page book falling on its side in the shelf."

"You sure?"

"Oh, yeah. I've been doing it for days now. It's more likely to happen if I don't sleep that long. Even I have my limits, Juarez. And it was about forty five minutes ago that Zamyatin dropped an ice cube down my shirt to wake me up so I can tell him where the thermometers are. He said he was feeling like he had a fever. I'm leaning more towards options A- he's hung over or B- he just wanted to watch the mercury shoot out the thing. He also kindly told me I had to go to work. I can believe he was a little sick. He looked like he was coming down with something."

"That sounds kind of made up."

"You say that every time I explain something to you. If I were lying, you'd probably tell I was lying."

"Not if you're lying about lying."

"If the prior statement was truth, then yes, that'd be true." She turned to Kurama. "So it looks like you're having to do more filing." (To which he mumbled to himself, "Funny, I had a dream this exact event occurred a week ago.")

Kirin cocked a brow, or at least she assumed he did since his face was covered up. (A common question in the office- "Do normal people see the mask too?") "Why is it that there's always filing to do?"

Mukuro shrugged. "Thought you'd notice. Zamyatin makes sure there's always filing to do. He has some weird urge to constantly rearrange things. Can't sit still. Though he claims someone keeps messing with his work. He used to be an addict though that wasn't his choice. Kind of makes some of his mannerisms make more sense to you, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, now that you mention it, it give me the creeps. It seems like you open up the DSM-IV to any page and put your thumb in a random spot, he'd have it?"

"Suppose it related to sexual identity?" No answer. "He also used to hide in the closet. I know because I went to go get something from there and he was sitting there just chewing on... Well, if he had any nails he's be biting them down til there was nothing left. I asked him what he was doing in there. And he just looked at me with the most pathetic expression. And just said he didn't know. I knew there was something else. He doesn't do it anymore but I can still see some ghosts of that whole event recurring. He has his reasons. I don't think there's much blame we can put on him. Maybe I'm shoving myself in too personally. But that's what I've got on that subject. Enough of that. Go and do whatever you need to do."

Apparently Kirin felt the need to vent his views to the nearest bystander, who happened to be Kurama, who didn't want to concern himself with anything that was remotely related to gossip. (And by his definition, this really was a fine piece to tell to your nosy Aunt Sally who owned a pair of binoculars to watch the neighbors sunbathe naked with.) "Sometimes she's got a real bleeding heart. I don't know why she bothers with him. She'd take a bullet to the heart for him and he still wouldn't give her the time of day. He just needs to learn respect for someone for once. I don't give a damn that he was a first sergeant (Um, General apparently. Kurama didn't feel like correcting him though.) in the Soviet army or a member of the NKVD or Cheka. In fact, I don't care if he personally pushed the nuke button on the US. It doesn't matter. He's still rude. I actually don't believe her input about the closet. It's too weak for his standards." He paused and sighed. "I should stop before I say anything else about your partner."

He saw no escape from answering and thus involving himself in the situation. "I'm not going to come at you with an axe if that's what you're saying."

"I should be glad."

"...That I read John Dies at the End."

-:-:-

"Yusuke," Kuwabara tackled him in the hall like a tiger on its prey. "You. Me. Right now. Away from here."

"No, no, no, with nice heaping helping of HELL NO. I don't swing that way, man." Yusuke backed off.

"Oh shut up. We're going to that Lovecraft place right now."

"Have you looked at the damn clock? It's barely going to be fifth period. You can wait a couple of hours, and I wanna get my attendance record better so Keiko can get off my back. What do you need from there so bad anyway?"

"I need to learn German so I can speak to my true love!"

"True love? You might not see her again. And I don't think she speaks German. Hiei speaks Russian... Wait, Russian IS a language, right?"

"Duh! What does he have to do with anything?"

"They speak the same language. You know, apparently... Uh..."

"Hey, shut up and get to class!" the security guard practically screamed at the top of his lungs.

And by the end of the day, Kuwabara completely forgot about his mission in life. He went home to go play some Call of Duty or Halo 2. Yusuke forgot which one was more important to him apparently. He did, however, have some business seeing Mukuro. He walked into her office and took the newspaper out of his thin backpack as he seated himself in front of her desk. Mukuro was on the phone, somewhat frantically asking, "Hello?" to a voice that was breathing deeply as if he just finished some strenuous exercise. Or maybe something less innocent than that.

And the final question: "Is there something you want?"

And the caller practically screamed (at which point Yusuke had a nasty suspicion about who this caller was though he couldn't really justify it) "You." She flung the phone into the wall with such force that it even put a hole in the wall. Yusuke saw he drop to her seat, her eye spasming. He had a bad feeling about all this.

"Um... This is a bad time so I'll just..." Yusuke started to get up.

"No, it's okay. I'm just a little spooked by it, I guess you can say. I'm getting a nasty migraine again, but I can still live. So what is it you need?"

"Okay... I saw this in the newspaper." He opened the newspaper to the local section and turned to the crime section. "There's this report in here. At what is this? Six in the morning. In Tarukane's mansion."

"As in a robbery? I don't see why you would be concerned."

"No, murder. It says something like the back of his head was smashed in and his head was thrown against a wall. The window behind him was shattered too... Geez, who reported this though...? Hey, Hiei came home last night, right?"

"Yes, he did. At two o' clock this morning. So if the murder did occur at six, it wasn't him. I was awake at the time and was working so I can back that claim should he be a suspect. If he did somehow manage to do it, it would probably be with the use of the back of a rifle from how I'm picturing it. It couldn't've been him. He doesn't use his rifle anymore."

Anymore? "Just wanted to make sure. Didn't want our favorite little man doesn't disappear for something like that. With that whole Yukina thing, I'd feel bad."

"I doubt she knows. Or suspects. That's what I got from him. As long as he keeps holding back like he does."

Come to think of it... I only see something about one body. And that's Tarukane. But there should be the Toguro brothers too. Does that mean...? No, he probably got some servants get rid of them or something.

"So is that all?" Mukuro asked.

"Basically it. You sure you're okay?"

"Keep asking that question and you'll be a philosopher one day. I have migraines. I need to drink my coffee today."

Kirin walked in, apparently conflicted as to whether or not he should check on her or not. "I heard something break a few minutes ago and I wanted to make sure you were..." He noticed the phone on the ground. "Oh."

"We need a new phone," Mukuro explained non-nonchalantly.

"Yes. That we do."

-:-:-

Two days passed. Mukuro got everyone's attention and announced, "Okay we're going to have some company quality time... And stuff."

A woman, a self-proclaimed skeptic at that, replied, "You just don't want to work today, do you?"

"Who asked you, Ferris? Santiago did this all the time too. I don't want to change that now. It's a great policy anyway." There was a knock at the door. "Someone's here. Look busy." But who would knock on the door? Most people just walk right in. She opened the door and in walked Yukina, holding the badge in her hand.

"Um... James Madison dropped this. I wanted him to have his object back." She held it out to Mukuro. "I didn't look at it or anything. I thought it would be private and I'd hate to look at something like that... Um.. Is James Madison here?"

"I don't know anyone named James Madison." She took it though she already knew exactly who it belonged to. "Zamyatin. Well, his real name's Zamyatin anyway. I have no clue why he had to pick James Madison of all names."

"Oh... Well, has he needed it?"

"Hasn't been here in a few days actually. Been sick. He might come today or tomorrow once he realizes that he doesn't have it with him anymore. Are you going home?"

"Home? You mean as in... Um..."

"Are you staying in this world or are going back to the other one? You don't seem all that familiar with anything in the area so I assumed."

"You understand this language?"

"Yes. I know more than I should. It just seems easier this way, if you ask me. Now about your leaving..."

"I don't think... I'm not sure what to do."

"Because what I'm thinking for you to go back is that you'll end up somewhere in the United States, if that. So then you'll have to catch a boat or a plane to the Soviet Union, which is basically where you're from. Then that would be pretty difficult because you can't hide that you're from that area. And no one likes that. That journey over the sea in itself is quite a journey. You'll see a lot of hideous things. Not even I would want to see all that just to get home. But it's all your choice. If you stay here, all I have to do is set up a file for you, have that approved, help you find a job and get you a place to live."

"I suppose I would do that. There's something I want to do too. This would be the perfect place to start."

"Let's go into my office and get started on that." They both walked in, offered a seat for Yukina directly in front of the desk. She took an application that looked almost exactly like a resume from a filing cabinet. "I need you to put your name and information that you can fill. If need be, we'll find an alternate way to fill in any unknowns..." The door was immediately kicked open.

"Hey, Mukuro, you know where my badge..." Hiei noticed Yukina. "Oh."

"I have no idea where you dropped it. I don't own your things. And quit breaking down the door. It never did you any harm." She reached into her pocket and threw the badge to him. "She found it for you. You owe here something according to your system. Are you going back home or do you feel good enough to stay here?"

He sighed. "I'll stay here. Might as well. I need to fix that shelf."

"Sure. So back to this..."

"Um... I don't have a last name. Do I leave that one blank?" Yukina asked.

"Make one up. I can't think of one at the moment. I'm not good with Russian names. I've heard they're weird. Like they come up being like 'Son of Sergei' or something... Or am I getting it confused with the patronymic?" Hiei nodded. She shrugged. "But... Vygostsky or Pavlov... I don't think you wanna be named after someone who made dogs drool though..."

"Lvov. It's a good name," Hiei cut in. "By the way, where did you end up going after we got you out of there? I thought for sure you would have gone straight home. How are you thinking of getting anywhere?"

"I don't know where I was last night. I sat on a bench after I got tired from walking so much and I think I fell asleep there because the next thing I remembered was that it was morning," Yukina replied sheepishly.

"What? Didn't they offer to give you a place to stay for the night? I mean, why would you let a girl your age wander the streets all alone? Don't they know the things that prey on people like you at night?" Angry aura, angry aura.

"The real question would be then, would you even trust either one to be alone with her?" Mukuro asked sarcastically.

"You've got a point there." Completely missing the point.

She looked confused but answered. "They did, but I didn't want to cause any trouble for them so I didn't go with either of them. They insisted that I go but I really didn't..."

"Yeah, as I told you before, I can arrange a place for you to stay and then help you get a job. You have to look like a normal citizen or 'people' might start thinking there's something wrong here. Obviously you're not a trouble maker. I'll do the rest of this for you when we have something set up for you. You should come in tomorrow." Mukuro explained, taking the application and putting it in a folder which she then labeled: LVOV, YUKINA.

"Oh. Okay." She paused, hesitantly. "Um, so this is a police station?"

"Something like that. Why?"

"I know it's silly but... Is it possible that you could help me find my brother? I just really want to see him again..."

"Sorry. I don't think I can. I don't think I'm allowed to put an investigation up like that. I could try to help somehow though. Do you remember what he looks like? Or his name at least?"

"No, I don't think so... I think I know his name but... What was it...? I associate him with black. I don't know why. He must have black hair if that's true. They... they threw him off the island when they knew he was there. I vaguely remember that because I think I was in someone's arms. Someone I didn't know. I also remember my mother calling me by a different name too... But what did she call him? I was... Yulia I think...? So he was..."

"We both agreed that Yulia was a pretty name for a girl. I told him that was my name because I saw it on a paper nearby. We didn't talk about boy's names. I think I'll use his name... Hey, Rui... Is this what foreigners call love?" Hiei put the book he was about to shelf down. "And this island is how far above the rest of the world? Even if your brother were to fall into water which would have saved him from the fall, he would have drowned. So what makes you think he's still alive?"

"Well... I just know that he would be. And there was something I was told that... Um, Mr. Madison, why did you come to save me?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well, those two Yusuke and Kuwabara looked surprised when they saw you. I could draw their faces but they wouldn't be any good."

"Draw?"

"Yes, I have... Picture memory, I think it's called?"

"Photographic memory? I have that too."

"Yes, that! And I also noticed that they didn't have a badge like you did. (Well played. Gotta hand it to her, she's noticing more things than any one else would. Probably more than I would too... Mukuro thought.) So I thought it was odd that you would come unexpectedly like that. And then you also speak the same language as me."

"Look, I heard about this mission, and I heard there was a Russian girl in trouble, too. I wanted one of my own people to be saved so I rushed in like an idiot and saved you too. The rest is coincidental. What're you implying?"

"Oh well... I don't know." She turned to Mukuro. "Thank you, Misses..."

"I'm Reeve. You can leave it at that. It's easier to remember for most people."

"Okay." She walked out. She called me Yuliya... She called him Heinrich. His name was Heinrich because the man she loved was Heinrich Reinhard.

"So she may never know. As long as you won't tell her, she might not." Mukuro sighed, and put the file in a drawer.

"She can figure it out on her own. Don't act like you think she can't. I'm not rushing in and telling her I am." He finished arranging the books in a hurry.

"Why?

"I need something from the closet."

"That's what it's there for."

He walked in and shut the door, sat on a plastic box whose contents dated back to the seventies and put his head in his hands. I can't tell you. You wouldn't want me after what I've done. Besides that... Mother, you were foolish to believe that man loved you. Don't you remember what he did to you mother? Don't you? Mother?

...Why have you forsaken me? Mother.

/And there was none.

1. I don't remember explaining how people see demons. If I did, here's a refresher. Basically anyone who has no sixth sense can't see a demon as they are and thus see them as human. That gets explained.
2. The DSM-IV is like the psychological encyclopedia for mental disorders. I can't remember what it means. It's used within a country, not internationally if I remember right. Don't ask me what DSM stands for. I think by now they have V.
3. NKVD and the Checka are both Stalin's secret police.
4. The John Dies at the End reference... There was the part in the introduction where Wong says tells a story about killing a a man with an axe, who later comes back to life. I'm too tired to explain more.
5. Lev Vygotsky had ideas on child development. Ivan Pavlov made an experiment in which he conditioned a dog to salivate at the sound of a bell because it associated the bell with food.
6. Victor is not the younger Toguro's first name.
7. James Madison was the shortest president.

I'll see you next time. Much love, JC.

(edit: And the plot thickens... so does Teddy. I tried to imply the circumstances between Hina and Hiei's father... It gets explicitly stated in the future... a future I really need to make happen. Shit!)