A/N: Shoutout to MAX for all the helpful info and just being great in general. This chapter is short but hopefully you guys are satisfied until I finish typing up the next chapter. I leave some
things somewhat vague because they will be explained later—I am keeping with the timeline of the show unless anything otherwise noted. Please, read and review. [SRSRSR=line breaks]
***Resubmitted to fix editing issues. My word processor won't let me format it past what it is now, next chapter will be in better condition once I fix this glitch. Thanks. ***
"I've talked with Dr. Jennings. Have a seat, Santana."
She remained standing, arms crossed tightly over her heaving chest, staring annoyingly at her therapist.
"Dr. J. said as soon as it works, I could schedule the surgery. Well, it works. What's the hold up?"
She was tapping her foot furiously.
"There is protocol to follow, Santana- now have a seat."
Marian waved her hand at the empty seat in front of her desk, waiting patiently for the teenager to sit down. She did, finally, the therapist shuffling papers around as she began talking.
"Santana, Dr. Jennings is currently at a conference. He will be back in time for the appointment you have scheduled for next week. That being said, we need to discuss a few options before we
move on in setting up your surgery. Now, Dr. Jennings has explained to you the dangers of the surgery, as well as recovery. The other option that you have, however, is what we will be discussing
today. Before I get into the details, I have to inform you that proper procedure calls for three months of extensive therapy before the gender assignment surgery, we need to know
that you are mentally stable to handle the transition as well as post-surgery therapy to know that you are coping well with the change. Consequently, you will have to comply to these terms and
undergo evaluation at the end of therapy in order to be approved to undergo surgery. Do you understand?"
She sat there, shaking her head furiously from left to right, her lips pursed and grimaced; her jaw clenching and releasing.
"This is bullshit. Why wasn't I told about this after the augmentation?"
"Because we have to make sure you're coping well with all the changes that are being implemented. Please, Santana, you have to be patient."
She rolled her teary eyes, biting her bottom lip and sniffing in the little emotion that peaked to her exterior.
"Fine. Whatever. What now?"
"Well, we need to talk about the other option you have before moving on with therapy. There is an option that would be easier than assignment surgery. Keeping both organs is a very feasible-"
"What! No way. That's not an option."
"Santana, you would be able to maintain the function of your sex drive. Your hormone levels would balance over time and you wouldn't have to worry about any complications from surgery.
I think it's something you should consider."
"Look, Marian. I am not keeping this thing. I'm good. I'm tired of worrying if my voice is going to start cracking when I sing. I got into a fist fight with one of my former best friends two weeks
ago because she outed my boob job! Brittany's been trying to have sex with me and I'm running out of excuses, I honestly don't care about not having a sex drive I just want to be normal; sex
isn't more important than me being a girl…a complete girl."
"Fair enough. We will set up counseling sessions weekly. Does Saturday work for you?"
"Yeah, that's fine."
She replied, glancing down at her fingernails, trying her best not to pay her therapist any attention.
"Very well. You will talk to Dr. Jennings about your erection when you go for next week's appointment. I'll see you next week."
She stands.
"And Santana?"
She whipped around, turning to face her sympathetic therapist.
"It's only twelve sessions...three months isn't as long as it seems."
She shook her head again.
"It is when you've been waiting forever."
She turned and left the office in a burst of mixed emotions. She was walking quickly, briskly down the hallway. She didn't notice the shorter girl who'd rounded the corner at the same time,
looking down intently at the bundles of paper she had in her hands. They collided, both falling back on their heels, hitting the floor with an audible 'Umph'. There were papers everywhere.
Santana got up quickly, grabbing various sheets around her.
"Sorry wasn't watching where I was going."
"Not a problem, Santana."
Her head snapped up then, finally realizing who she'd bumped into. She dropped the papers crossing her arms over her chest.
"Berry."
"I didn't know you wore regular clothes. I also never expected to see you...here. What? Do you have anger management?"
"Yea, I cut a tranny on the way to my father's car. Move, Berry."
"You were coming from Dr. Collins office, she's my therapist too..."
Santana tensed, nervous at the thought of someone knowing.
"I- why is it any of your business, Manhands?"
She watched Rachel flinch and quickly compose herself.
"Well you're coming from the Dr. Collins office. Finally coming out of the closet? Congratulations to Brittany."
Rachel smiled that megawatt smile.
"Whatever, Berry. Why do you know Marian? Coming out of your own closet, freak?"
She walked by her then, intentionally bumping shoulders with the smaller girl. Stalking off toward her father, who was talking to the front desk attendant.
"Dr. Collins, I feel that these sessions are completely unnecessary. While I completely understand the validity of my father's fears, I can honestly assure you that I am completely
comfortable in my sexuality."
The doctor pinched the bridge of her nose. Shaking her head at the difficult teen. She watched her shuffle through stacks of charts and graphs disheveled in her lap, waiting to barrage the
therapist with facts and supported research.
"Rachel, your fathers want to make sure that you are living a healthy progressive adolescence. There is nothing wrong with that. I specialize in child sexual identity and sexual disorders. You
come from a non-traditional, male oriented family, and your fathers just want to make sure the lack of a dominant female influence doesn't skew your outlook on other relationship dynamics.
Now, as your fathers are paying for these sessions, the discussion of cancellation is non-negotiable. How are you today, Rachel?"
"I am well, thank you..." She slouched in her chair, her defeated shoulders sagged as she realized that she was stuck in counseling with the doctor.
"Your fathers informed me that they found you in a compromising position with a female associate? I thought you were dating one... Finn Hudson, what happened?"
The doctor watched the younger teen, pulling uncomfortably on the bottom hem of her pleated skirt.
"Well, we are technically still involved, and my fathers continue to violate my privacy on a regular basis."
"So you haven't told this young man that you cheated on him?"
"Well I am ready to tell him I'm just ...waiting for the right moment."
"I see, well? This young lady? When did these feelings toward females come about?"
"I just... I let Finn touch me intimately. I'm not ready for intercourse, but I thought because we shared a seriously emotional moment, I could bend the rules a little, and reward him. And I tried
my best to be eager and passionate. But, when I kissed Bella, it's... different. I wanted to be with Finn so badly that I didn't realize what happened after I got him. It was like I reached a goal, and
there is no room for advancement. I want to control him sometimes, it's nice to know that someone is supportive of you in that way. But Bella and I had gotten close and there was just so
much there when I kissed her and... I didn't want to be gay. I didn't want other people to think that I am a product of gay parenting, but I've come to terms with my feelings and I can honestly
convey my sincerity. It felt like fire in my stomach when I kissed her, and...it has nothing to do with the way I was raised."
She sat there, the verbose young woman looking wide-eyed at her. This was the third session they'd had, each becoming more of a fight than the last. She came there every Saturday,
stubborn and persistent as she tried her best to convince her that she had other things to better occupy her time. And shortly after she'd blurt out every single feeling she'd had; the
internalizing teenager didn't have many peers to confide in.
"So, what is to happen with her then, and Finn?"
"Well I am going to tell him that it won't work out because I have to focus on what I have been undergoing. And Bella, she wasn't as comfortable with her feelings as I was, and she won't be
taking my calls anymore."
"And how does that make you fe-"
They were interrupted by a quiet knock on her door. And a shaggy red head popping into the doorway.
"Sorry Dr. Collins. You have a emergency on my line."
The doctor excused herself then, leaving Rachel in the room alone. Moments passed, Rachel easily becoming impatient, deciding to sit at the doctor's desk and check her Myspace in the
meantime. She logged into her account, waiting for the ancient machine in front of her to respond. A thick pink folder caught her attention, the corner of it peaking from under her own,
the name Lopez partially visible on the tab. She tried her best to ignore it, her curiosity itching furiously at her fingers. She didn't know why she did it, but she quickly flipped through the
notes, only stopping when the notes on the margins began to connect. Words flashing like intersexed and hermaphrodite into her vision. She was furiously checking the fog glass door at
the front of the large office, stopping in the folder only when she saw a medical photo of a child. She shut it quickly then, logging out of her Myspace and replacing the folder to its rightful place.
She hated her meddlesome mind, and this time she didn't know what to do with the scandalous information.
A/N: Bella will be explained and the name calling sometime next chapter, working on it now, please review.