Baby Shower For Stephen
"Shh…Shh...Here he comes!" whispered Jack.
"He's going to kill us, but what fun!" Paul tittered.
Stephen entered the warehouse, carrying his homburg and a cup of coffee from Beppo's in his hands.
"SURPRISE!" they shouted and sprang up.
Stephen jumped, startled, nearly dropping his coffee.
"Aaaaahh!" he gasped, "What're you lot doing scaring a man like that?"
"Captain Peacock, we're giving you a baby shower!"
"You berks are all barmy! Whoever heard of a baby shower for the father?" he laughed. He really did work with a crew of men who were a bit off their trolley.
"Sit!" Mel ordered as he slid a chair center floor.
Colin perched a makeshift hat, made from cardboard, on Stephen's head. It had pound notes and ribbon curls taped onto it. He cringed as it was
placed on his head, but tried to join in the frivolity, "Alright, if I must."
The first gift was presented- a rocking chair knocked up by the guys in Building and Grounds.
"We made this from busted-up oak pallets," Mr. Watts stated proudly, "Our Mr. Helliwell smoothed it nicely with sandpaper and put a coat of varnish on."
Stephen ran his hands on the chair, impressed with the craftsmanship. He fingered the hand-carved, curved spindles which made up the chair's back.
"Hey! In a few years, you and Betty can use that in your retirement flat!" someone called.
Stephen chortled, "Betty will love this! Thank you!"
Richard presented him with a gift basket containing a box of 144 flavored condoms.
"Nice," Stephen said flatly, frowned, and sucked in his cheeks.
"Use 'em in good health!" Richard quipped.
"Don't use 'em all in one place!" Jack piped up.
Stephen shot them a look, eyebrows raised. He received the usual baby gifts- nappies, blankets, hand-knitted booties (obvious gifts from the wives of the
married men). Then there were the gifts from the single men- a six-pack of ale, crisps, a pack of fags (for the waiting room).
Mel left and returned with coffee from the canteen for everyone. Stephen thanked his co-workers for their thoughtfulness.
"It's not often one of us old geezers is havin' a baby!" Colin joked.
He loaded his gifts into the boot of his car. Now that Betty was on bed rest, Stephen would drive the car to work every day; he wasn't about to risk
something happening to her and trying to rush home on the bus.
Stephen returned home, brought in the gifts, and set them on the floor in the lounge.
"What's all this lot?" Betty questioned, her eyes surveying the goods.
"The guys threw me a baby shower!"
"Silly men!" she laughed gleefully.
"Building and Grounds made this chair! Isn't it wonderful?" he said, presenting the chair to her, "Sit down and give it a try-out."
She sat down and rocked slowly. The chair had a nice smooth motion, "Oh! It is!"
"Would you like to have it down here or would you rather I put it up in the baby's room?"
"I could use it down here and after the baby is born it could go upstairs. I'll get lots of use of it for those two a.m. feedings!"
"As you wish."