Chapter Two- Letting You Go

Disclaimer I do not own Rizzoli and Isles unfortunately

Maura sat in her office after a long day, although since the shooting everyday had been a long one. She glanced up at the clock, 'ughh ten-thirty,' she thought. She started to gather her things, she took off her lab coat and hung it up, she told her forensics team they could leave and finish tomorrow. She sat back down at her desk and opened her email. She quickly searched through it getting rid of any spam mail, then; there it was an email from Jane.

She sat back from her desk, 'why is she emailing me I thought I made it clear that I didn't want to speak with her,' she thought. After the shooting and watching the ambulance take her father away she wasn't really sure how to feel about Jane or anything. Her best friend shot her father, after she yelled at her not to; she shot the only proof she had to finding her birth mother. Jane took all that away from her, so she took herself away from Jane.

She pushed herself from Jane, she only spoke to her when it involved a case and even then she tried to avoid speaking with her. Every time Jane tried to apologize to her she would just brush her off, or push her away with harsh words. Maura was never good at being mad at Jane, because she knew what kind of person Jane was. But this time was different; Jane betrayed her, at least in her opinion, she was suppose to be her friend, she was suppose to protect her. Instead she went off and screwed her little boyfriend dean, rather than stay with her at the hospital, with her mother. Jane chose Dean, who she's only seen three times, over her and that's what hurt her the most.

She took another look at Jane's email; she shook her head, but something deep down wanted her to open the email, so she did. She took in a breath and read it.

Dear Maura,

I know that you don't want to speak to me or hear anything I have to say to you, but there's something I have to tell you. I know that I've apologized a million times but I'm going to say it again anyway. You have no idea how sorry I am and I know that you can't or don't want to forgive me. I ruined our friendship to the point that there is no way to rebuild it, and it hurts me so much to think about it. I'm sorry that I didn't stay with you at the hospital and that I chose Dean over you, it's probably the worst mistake I've ever made. I'm not sure how your feeling, I'm sure you're hurt and hate me and I can live with that, but I can't live with it here. I got a job offer in Chicago and I'm taking it, I resigned today and I leave early tomorrow morning. Regardless of what's happened you'll always be in my heart, even if I'm not in yours. You're my friend Maura, and I love you. I just wanted you to know that.

-Jane

Maura stared at the email and read it twice to make sure she understood what she was reading. Without a second thought, she shut her laptop grabbed her coat and purse and rushed to Jane's apartment.

Jane lay sprawled across the couch, with Jo lying on her stomach; there were three empty beer bottles on the table. She was a little buzzed but still coherent enough to hear the loud banging on her front door. Jo jumped off her stomach and began to bark; Jane stood up and walked to the door, yelling at Jo to shut up. She didn't bother to check who was at the door, she just opened it and when she saw who it was nearly threw up the beer in her stomach.

"Maura," Jane said, actually surprised to see her standing there. Maura waited for Jane to invite her in, Jane stepped aside and allowed Maura to come in, closing the door behind her.

When she turned around to face Maura she was immediately met with Maura hand as she stumbled backwards against the door. Jane put a hand to her cheek as the slap Maura just gave her radiated the whole side of her face. Jane looked at Maura and saw the anger in her eyes. 'She must have read the email," Jane thought.

Maura surprised herself she had never laid a hand on anyone before let alone Jane. She put her purse down on a chair along with her jacket. She walked towards Jane and stood toe to toe with her.

"How dare you Jane Rizzoli, how dare you send me that email, did you think it would change things," Maura yelled. "Did you think I was going to come over here and beg you not to leave?"

Jane just stared at Maura, slightly afraid to speak or move. She removed her hand from her cheek and stared back at Maura, she wasn't going to allow Maura to do this to her, to tear her down even more. She looked back at Maura with the same threatening look. "No, I sent you that email to tell you that I was leaving, to tell you again about how sorry I was for choosing dean over you, for shooting Doyle, I didn't do it so that you would come over here and yell at me and put your hands on me," she spat. "And I didn't do it so that you could rip me apart even more okay; I was just trying to tell you the truth."

"The truth, that's not the truth Jane," Maura said coldly. "The truth is that you're being a coward and running away, because you can't deal with the fact that this time you screwed up and you can't do anything to fix it."

All the beers Jane drank were now setting in and she all the anger that had been building up, was coming out in an explosion. " a coward , A FUCKING COWARD, NO I'M LEAVING BECAUSE I CAN'T TAKE BEING HERE ANYMORE, IT'S BEEN MONTHS SINCE THIS WHOLE THING AND SINCE THEN YOU DON'T TALK TO ME, YOU DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE ME, YOU DON'T LOOK AT ME, YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME FRIGIN APOLOGIZE TO YOU, AND IT HURTS ME OKAY, IM JUST DONE, IM DONE TIP TOEING AROUND YOU, IM TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP BECAUSE OF MY GUILT, IM DONE FEELING LIKE A JERK, I'VE DONE EVERYTHING TO TRY AND FIX THINGS AND THERE'S NOTHING THAT I CAN FIX BECAUSE YOU ONLY SEE WHAT I DID WRONG, AND NOTHING ELSE, SO IM LEAVING TOMORROW AND IM GOING TO GO AND START NEW, WHERE I WONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS BULLSHIT," Jane walked away from Maura and sat down on the couch, she put her hands over her face and let everything she had been feeling out. She cried and cried and Maura just sat there and watched. She had never seen Jane so mad, before, she had never seen her cry either. She was still completely angry, but seeing Jane break down and look so defeated it broke her on the inside. She waited for Jane to calm down and watched her wipe away her tears. Jane looked up and waited for Maura to say something, but she didn't

"Surprised to know that I have feelings too," Jane said sarcastically. "I said what I had to say, so you can just leave now, there's nothing else that can be said." Jane stood up and walked past Maura and stood by the door, "was there something else you wanted to say or did you want to slap me again."

Maura turned around to face Jane the anger that was in Maura's eyes was no longer there, you could tell by her body language she was still angry, but her eyes looked soft and calm. "I want to know how long, "

"How long what," Jane shrugged.

"How long have you loved me Jane?" Maura asked. Jane was at a standstill, completely shocked, what was she suppose to say. "How long have you been in love with me?"

"Why does it matter Maura, I'm leaving," Jane sighed.

"It matters because, that's why you're leaving, now answer the damn question Jane," Maura said irritated, "how long?"

Jane crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. She was never really good at expressing her feelings to anyone, except her family, but this was different. " I don't know Maura, since shooting myself, since Giovanni, maybe since I first saw you, there's was just something about you, and I tried to stop myself, tried to work my way around it by going out with Grant, and Casey and Dean, but it was always you, but none of that matters now." She explained defeated.

Maura tried to analyze all of it in her head but there was nothing, for once she was at a loss for words. Jane opened the door, and stepped aside for Maura. She watched as Maura grabbed her coat and jacket. Jane grabbed her arm and pulled Maura close to her.

" I'm leaving for you Maura, not for me," she said, she leaned down to her and whispered, " when you love someone you have to learn to let them go, I'm letting you go Maura." She leaned down further and brought herself face to face with Maura, she leaned forward and kissed Maura on the lips. It was soft, and full of regret it was a goodbye kiss. Jane pulled away let go of her arm and closed the door behind her. She fell down to her knees and cried once again. Maura could her Jane crying through the door, she grabbed her keys out her purse went to her car, and cried her heart out.