Oh, 'Eck, Not Again!
Life for the Peacock family had settled into routine. Stephanie was now three months old and she was Stephen's biggest football fan; she would squeal
when Daddy came off the field and cuddled her. She seemed to know when he scored a goal. She was sleeping through the night.
Betty spent her days doing domestic chores and when the weather cooperated, walked Stephanie around the commons behind their home. She would start
dinner and then load Stephanie in her pram to meet Stephen at the bus. With the warm weather and longer days, the Peacocks spent more time outdoors.
On sunny afternoons, Stephen would join them and they would sit along the river throwing bread crusts to the ducks.
Stephen never imagined his life could be so completely blissful. He also never dreamed that at fifty-three years old he would be starting a family.
Betty had just finished dusting and was napping the lounge rug while Stephanie slept in her cot upstairs. She completed her tasks and heard her daughter
crying loudly. She climbed the stairs and entered Stephanie's room, scooped her from her cot and led her to the rocking chair. Betty settled in and began to
suckle her baby. She continued rocking, singing softly, and kissing her; Stephanie wrapped her little hand round Betty's finger. Betty smiled adoringly.
A quick burp, a clean nappy, and the two headed out for a stroll in the warm mid-morning sunshine; Betty was on a mission. She wore an over-sized teal
blouse, black Capri's and Keds trainers: comfortable clothes for a spring day walk.
Stephanie lay contented in her pram kicking her little legs and sucking her fingers. Betty hummed lovingly to her.
Stopping at the chemist's shop, Betty pushed the pram in.
"I hope this is just a case of miscalculation, Steffie!" Betty whispered to her daughter. She was more thinking aloud than conversing.
"Thank you for your custom, Mrs. Peacock! I hope the results are satisfactory!" chimed the chemist cheerfully.
Betty smiled tightly and nodded, "Cheeky upstart chemist!" she thought to herself.
He put the test kit in a bag and handed it to Betty. She and Stephanie then headed back to the house for lunch. Betty nervously stashed her purchase in her
handbag.
Once home, Betty wheeled Stephanie into the lounge and parked the pram. Stephanie was fast asleep and Betty wanted to leave her nap awhile longer.
Betty walked into the kitchen, fixed herself a sandwich of tuna salad, and put the kettle on. She opened the fridge and rummaged for a piece of fruit. She
foraged for the last apple, "Oh! We've got to shop again!" she noted to herself.
She sliced the apple and set the wedges on a plate, then headed back out to the lounge to eat near the baby. She had just sat down when the kettle
started whistling. Up and into the kitchen to prepare herself a cuppa. Stephanie snoozed sweetly for the duration of Betty's lunch. Betty looked at the wall
clock. One pm. She had enough time to take a little nap. She lay on the settee and closed her eyes.
Stephanie squalled loudly and woke Betty with a start. She looked up at the clock. One-thirty.
"Well, a thirty minute kip off is better than none," she reasoned.
Betty reached into the pram, picked Stephanie up, and carried her over to the settee. The baby furiously began rooting and wailing in frustration, arms
flailing.
"Goodness! You'd think I was starving you!" she chuckled.
She put Stephanie to her breast. The baby latched on and began gulping loudly.
"Ow-ow-ow…Please Steffie! That hurts Mummy!" Betty winced.
Betty gently brushed Stephanie's hair with her fingers. The baby looked up at her mother and smiled, milk leaking from the corner of her mouth. Betty
marveled at how much like Stephen the baby looked. She had his eyes and her hair curled softly like his. She had little dimples in her cheeks like Stephen.
Betty placed Stephanie on her shoulder and gently rubbed her back. She let out a thunderous bubble and Betty laughed.
"Alright, young lady, that'll do!" Betty playfully scolded, "Let's get you upstairs and into some clean pants."
Betty prepared their dinner of cottage pie, broccoli, peas and carrots; Stephen would be home soon. She set the food in the warm oven and packed
Stephanie into her pram so they could meet Stephen at the bus. Six-fifty and the bus arrived right on time. He stepped off the bus and his face lit up when
he saw his family.
"Hello, hello!" he chirped, hugging Betty and kissing her, "I missed you two!"
Betty lingered a few seconds, pressing her lips to his. His eyebrows shot up and he smiled.
"Mmmm...You smell so good," she crooned as she nuzzled his chest. He closed his eyes and smiled, content and secure in her arms.
Stephanie kicked her feet and squealed at Daddy's voice.
"This is my favorite time of the day!" he announced. He reached into the pram and unhooked the belt holding Stephanie in. He gently lifted her out of the
pram, hoisted her up, and carried her home in his arms.
Betty admired her family.
The alarm clock jangled at 4:15, but Stephen was already awake, retrieving a screaming Stephanie from her cot. She rooted at his chest, trying to latch onto
him, "I'm sorry, Princess, I don't have what you're looking for!" he murmured, chuckling.
He brought her in to Betty who was groggily unhooking her wet brassiere. She had soaked through her nightgown as well. He deposited the baby next to
Betty, "It's for you, Dear!" he quipped.
Stephanie latched on and suckled loudly, slurping and frantically pawing at Betty. Stephen watched in amazement. The restroom light dimly lit the room; he
thought Betty looked radiant. After shaving, he sat down on the edge of the bed and watched as his baby nursed at her mother's breast. He leaned in and
kissed Betty tenderly.
"I love you, Betty," he whispered softly touching her hair. Betty hadn't gotten her hair colored in quite some time and Stephen admired the natural light
brown color.
She smiled broadly, "I love you, too!"
He finished dressing and went downstairs for coffee and breakfast. The baby dozed off and Betty went down to the kitchen join Stephen. They shared a
quiet cup of coffee and he packed some sandwiches and an apple in a metal lunch box, "I've got to work a double tonight," he explained. She nodded. She
didn't like him having to work double shifts, but with her not working, they could use the money.
"I should be getting the maternity grant in the mail soon," she said hopefully.
He smiled at her optimism, "It'd be nice."
He looked up at the clock- 5:05.
"I've got to go!" He gathered his lunchbox and his mac, slipped his hat on and headed toward the front door. Betty followed him. He pushed his feet into his
shoes and stood at the door waiting for his good-bye kiss. She leaned in and he held her tightly, pressing his lips to hers.
"I'll see you when I get home, Love."
"I will probably be up feeding Stephanie or changing her!"
"You get some rest." He gave her another kiss and rushed out the door.
She quickly dashed into the loo and recovered her handbag from the sink cupboard, set up the test kit according to the directions and peed in the little
plastic cup provided. She squeezed the bulb of the dropper and then expelled 3 drops of urine into the waiting test tube. Her stomach was a jumble of knots.
"Oh, God, I'll die of this comes up positive!" she whimpered. She had to let the test sit undisturbed, so she left the restroom and returned upstairs to check
on Stephanie.
The urge to check the test was overwhelming, but Betty remained steadfast. After two hours, she mustered the courage to check it. Hesitantly she opened
the restroom door and flipped on the light switch. There it was! Mocking. Blatant. The dreaded 'O' glaring at her in the little slanted mirror. She put her hand
to her mouth. What to say to Stephen?
"Oh, 'eck! Not again! Bloody hell!" she spluttered, working herself into a panic, "What am I gonna say to 'im? The doctor told us to use protection!"
She sat down on the settee and began to sob bitterly. She pounded the heel of her hand against her forehead, "Damn…Damn…damn!"
"Well, no sense sitting here fretting," she thought to herself after having her little pity party, "What's done is done."
She picked up the receiver and dialed Mrs. Axelby. The phone rang and after the third ring, Ethel picked up.
"Ethel? It's me, Betty. Sit down, Ethel, I've some news for you!"
"You're pregnant again, right?" she joked, chortling.
Betty did not laugh, "How'd you know?" she sobbed.
"Oh, heck! Not again!" Ethel exclaimed and cackled, "What did Stephen say?"
"He doesn't know yet! I'm afraid to tell him."
"Oh, really, Betty! You know him; he's going to go all barmy and he'll be so happy he won't even be able to see straight! You ought to call him at work right
now! They'll probably close shop and retire to the pub!"
"No. I think I'll leave the test kit on the sink edge and let him find it when he comes home from work."
"To each his own. Here, I'll come over! Put the kettle on and I can visit with my little baby niece."
Later that evening…
Stephen eased into the house silently. The house was dark and quiet; Betty and Stephanie were asleep upstairs. The cats yowled on the front doorstep.
"Shh…shh…you'll wake them!" he scolded the cats as they intertwined around his legs. He strode into the kitchen, set his lunchbox on the worktop, and
poured some cat food kibble into a cereal bowl. The cats followed him through the house meowing the whole way. Opening the back door, he set the bowl on
the step. Neville peered at him in the darkness and purred loudly.
"Hey, Buddy!" he scratched Neville's head and pet his back; Neville lifted his hind quarters up as Stephen stroked his soft brown fur. He reached out to pet
Tiddles and she swiped his hand, slicing into his finger.
"Dammit! Ornery animal," Stephen grumbled, wincing and shaking his hand. He put his finger in his mouth. Stephen closed the kitchen door and turned off
the light. He went into the loo to get a plaster for his bleeding finger. Then he saw it. The Big 'O'. The chemistry set on the washbasin. There it was.
Staring at him. His breath hitched. His eyebrows shot up, grinning ear to ear, and he couldn't help puffing his chest out, "Oh, my gosh!" he was agog. He felt
himself react to this revelation. He forgot all about the plaster and his bleeding finger. He had to see Betty!
Silently he climbed the stairs two at a time. He reached the bedroom in short order and stood in the doorway watching Betty sleep. Frantically he took his
clothes off, sloppily unbuttoning his jacket, pulling his shirt over his head without unbuttoning it. He stripped down to his boxers; his clothing lay discarded
on the floor in a rumpled heap. He slid into bed and scooted close to her. He threw his arms around her and hugged tight, waking Betty with a jolt. He kissed
her over and over.
"Another one?" he gushed.
"I'm afraid so!" she cried.
He kissed her again, "I wish we had met twenty years ago! We'd have had a houseful of pretty babies!"
"There you go, getting' barmy already! You're not angry?"
"No. I like having babies with you!" he said sweetly, "I like the way your belly moves and I love the way you look when you're pregnant- you glow! However,
in future, should this occur, don't bother getting upset. Know in advance that I will be very happy. Just let's not make too much a habit of it, though! I would
like to retire eventually!"
He eased right up to her; she could feel him prominently pressing against her belly.
She scowled at him, "Really!" she huffed.
"I can't help it," he smiled sheepishly, "It's like an aphrodisiac. It's like he has to brag about his accomplishment!"
"Oh, give over! Wait until your mates at work hear about this!" she giggled.
He slapped his palm to his forehead, "Oh, I can hear them at work now! They are going to mock me mercilessly!"
"Who knew a man of your age could be so virile!" said Jack.
"Did you already go through all those prophylactics I gave you?" teased Richard.
"You two are going to be pensioners in your retirement flat with babies in nappies!" Colin chimed and laughed loudly.
"I bet Betty makes you wear your box to bed from now on!" Paul called.
"Good on you, Stephen!" Mel cheered, "Don't take no notice of this lot! They're just jealous!"
"Thanks!" he said sarcastically and shook his head.
"Are we gonna get some breakfast out of this?" Colin asked, eyebrows raised in anticipation, "This is cause for celebration...and breakfast!"
"Sure, canteen…my shout!" he announced.
"Oh, big spender! We get that muck for free!" Jack protested, "How's about going over to Frank's Caf' and buying a round of bacon butties and coffee?"
"Sorry, guys, I'm going to have two mouths to feed, I can't be feeding you lot as well!"