Author's note: Sorry for the wait between updates this time. This chapter didn't come very easily for some reason. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, you are all lovely people and each review makes my day! I hope this chapter was worth the wait. As always I love hearing from you.

"I love you, mommy." Henry kissed both of his hands and 'threw' the kisses at her with rather exuberant force.

"I love you too, baby. I'll see you soon, okay?" She 'caught' the kisses, wishing that there was something real about them, something tangible. She missed Henry so much. She'd missed out on so much with him, these past few months.

"Going on the big plane. Fly!" With his arms outstretched Henry slid off of his dad's lap; half an hour of sitting still had been his limit. In the background JJ could see him 'flying' around the room.

"He's going to be talking about you and then plane non-stop until we leave. He's missed you." Will adjusted the angle ot the laptop so the camera was aimed at his face, not his chest.

"I've missed him too. He's gotten so big." She smiled, wanly.

"Are you sure you're alright, cher? You seem troubled." Will was frowning a little. It was strange, but now that they were separated they seemed to get along better then they had together, at least in last months of their relationship. It didn't feel strange when he used endearments. It did, however, feel strange to confide in him about things she hadn't told anyone. Anyone but Hotch, but that was different.

"It's been a long couple of days. I just need to catch up on my sleep a little and get back to a routine." She touched her finger to her cheek, lightly, as if to reassure herself that her carefully applied makeup was still in place. It was just one of many defensive shields she'd put up before making the call. Will knew that her undercover assignment was over, but not how it had ended.

"Are you sure about Saturday? We can get a flight out tomorrow. There's nothing like an almost three year old to make you forget all other routines."

"There's no reason for you to miss work. I'll see you Saturday."

"JJ..." She shut the laptop before Will could try to argue with her. As much as she wanted to see her son, she needed a little time to get used to being home first. She needed to know that she could take care of herself, so she knew she could take care of Henry too. Will would stay for a day or two, but then she'd be on her own again, a full time mom for the first time in months. A single mom for the first time ever.

"How's my favorite little godson? Brilliant as always?" Garcia was on the couch with a six month old fashion magazine when JJ came out of the bedroom.

"Of course." She smiled a little when she thought of the way Henry's face had lit up when she'd turned on Skype.

"I'm sure Will's online right now, making plane reservations. It's too bad we can't send the BAU jet to get them today, but I'm sure they'll be here as early as possible tomorrow." Garcia cocked her head to the side. "Are we being nice to Will? Because I'll treat him however you want. I can have his luggage sent to Timbuktu on the way home; that's always fun."

"No. It was a mutual decision. He's rearranged his life to take Henry these last months even through he agreed that in the long term it would be better for Henry to live here with me, and he's made sure I got phone or Skype time with my little man almost every day. There's no bad blood between us." It had hurt, knowing that things were over between them. It had hurt even more knowing that it was something that should have ended some time ago. She couldn't regret rushing into things with Will because it had given her Henry, but she'd been so determined to prove that she could make a relationship work that she'd been blind to the cracks until things were past the point of repair.

"No luggage rerouting, then. If you need to talk about it at all, though, you'll let me know? I know it's been a while since you two split, but I didn't get to talk to you then and I would have brought over the chocolate and the chick flicks and all that breakup stuff if I'd known."

"I know you would have. You're the first person I would have called." She'd been too busy making plans with Andi, sublimating her feelings into preparing for her assignment. She'd felt too guilty, too, knowing what a big lie she was telling to her team. It seemed like lying was all she'd done this year.

"Speaking of chick flicks, what do you think about maybe catching a movie this afternoon? We can sneak in cookies and watch something totally fluffy. Bridesmaids just came out, or Arthur's still in the theatres. It's probably terrible, like most remakes are, but we can make fun of it. Remember the time the three of us went to see..." Garcia paused, biting her lower lip. 'The three of us' had included Emily.

"I remember." Garcia had thrown popcorn at the screen, and Emily had told off the prissy woman behind them who had made a rude comment. It had been one of many such evening they'd shared. In the last eight months they'd gone from the Three Musketeers, as Morgan sometimes called them, to Garcia all alone. She hadn't been there to help her friend through the grief, and couldn't tell Garcia that the reason for the grief, Emily's death, didn't exist.

"Thanks, but I don't think I'm up for it today. Rain check, alright? Right now I'm going to walk down to the pharmacy and pick up my prescription." She needed to get out of the apartment; it was too small, and getting smaller.

"You could take your car; an agent brought it by while you were on the computer with my little angel food cake." On the coffee table was the set of keys that had been in her temporary apartment; Hotch must have been on the phone first ting this morning to get that arranged.

"I feel like walking. It's not far." She felt like running, but she knew that she wasn't ready for that today, not with the stitches in her thigh and the fact that the most exercise she'd gotten in the last week had been pacing her cell.

"I could come with you," Garcia offered, hopefully. Last night JJ had been exhausted, and it made sense that she didn't talk much, or open up at all. This morning that emotional wall was still there, though, and as much as Garcia tried everything she could think of to connect to her friend nothing seemed to work. For a few minutes in the bedroom first thing this morning things had felt normal, but when JJ had come out for breakfast that reserve was firmly back in place. It was like the way she froze out reporters; Garcia didn't like that JJ felt she had to protect herself like that when it was just the two of them. She wanted to help.

"Thanks, but I need to clear my head. If there's other things you need to be doing..."

"I'll be here when you get back. You have wi-fi and a cosy couch; what more could a girl want?" What she really wanted was to have JJ back, but she could be patient. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours yet. Glancing down at the table, Garcia spied the cell phone. She hurried to catch JJ before she'd gone more than a few steps out the door. "You might want this, just in case you need anything."

"Thanks, Pen." JJ slipped the phone into her pocket. Afterwards she let her arms hang awkwardly at her sides. Giving Garcia a hug would have been something normal, but she couldn't make herself move. "I'll be back."

II

She was three blocks past the pharmacy when she realized that she'd gone too far. For a minute she didn't even know where she was, but she'd gone running in this area often enough to figure it out. Rather then turning around she just kept on walking, one foot in front of the other. The pharmacy would be open for hours yet. She had six hours before she needed her next dose of the medication that was her timetable for the next month, and other then Garcia there was no one expecting her anywhere.

For the last months she'd had little freedom; her life had been a routine of classes, clubs, and local sporting events, of reports written and sent in secret and meetings with her handler. She'd taken two breaks, once to spend two weeks in New Orleans with Henry over Christmas, the other when Emily had gone missing and Hotch had called her for help. She'd felt like a hypocrite then, watching as her team tried to puzzle out Emily's double life, knowing that her own secrets were almost as plentiful. She felt a thousand times worse, lying about Emily's fate on the operating table. The lies she'd told about going to work for Justice were nothing compared to that lie. Leaving Emily's mock funeral had been the first time she was glad she was no longer with the BAU; she didn't know if she could face her friends every day and watch them grieve for a woman who wasn't dead.

It wasn't until her thigh began to ache that she realized how long she'd been walking, almost completely unaware of her surroundings. She turned on the screen of her phone to find that it had been almost five hours since she'd left her apartment. She also found that her phone was on silent mode, and that she'd missed seven calls. There wasn't any traffic in the residential area she was in, so she sat on the curb in front of a two story colonial home, under the shade of a tree. She'd have to find her way back to the pharmacy, but first she might as well find out who was trying to get a hold of her. She leaned against the tree trunk and hit play.

"It's Reid, JJ. I didn't want to call you last night because it was late and you were in the ER or on your way home. It's important to get enough sleep, so I didn't want to risk waking you up either. I talked to everyone last night and to Hotch this morning, so I know you're alright and of course they wouldn't lie about that but I'd like to hear it from you. Or see you. Can I come by soon? I've missed you. I... I'd just really like to see you."

There was a long pause before the beep. JJ could almost picture him, holding the phone, trying to figure out if he'd said the right thing or not. She should call him. She would call him, but later. For now she just let the messages play.

"Hey kid, it's me. I just wanted to let you know that you should be getting a delivery later today. If anyone shows up from Harry and David you don't have to worry, they're the real thing; I didn't figure you needed strangers showing up at the place without warning. I'm going to go ahead and let Garcia know as well. Call me if you need anything."

He'd sent her a Harry and David gift basket the day she'd brought Henry home from the hospital as well. Food, according to Rossi, was a panacea for almost anything. He and Garcia would do well opening a restaurant together.

"Hey girl. I know Reid was on the phone a little while ago and I'm pretty sure he was calling you, but I thought I'd let you know he really needs to see you. He's doing a pretty good job hiding it, or at least he thinks he is, but he been interviewing some of the people we arrested last night and it's getting to him. Last thing I want to do is pressure you at all, but if he could talk to you I think it would be really good for him. And you. Crap, he's going for the coffee again. Last thing he needs is more caffeine, so I'm going to go try and divert him. Talk to you soon, alright?"

Morgan's phone call ended with a muffle of chatter and an exclamation of 'hey!' that sounded like Reid. JJ was pretty sure he wasn't getting his coffee. She'd call him in a little while.

"Just wanted to make sure you're okay, Jayje. It's been a couple of hours since you left and you said you were just going down to the pharmacy and it's not necessary that you come home or anything, I just wondered if you needed anything. There was a delivery for you. I signed for it; Rossi's name is on it, and it looks like one of his epic food baskets. I'll leave you alone now, unless you need anything. You'll let me know, won't you?"

JJ sighed. Garcia had better things to do then sit around and wait for her to get home. She didn't want to take up all of her friend's free time; it made her feel doubly guilty. She knew Garcia was waiting for her to talk, and though she'd promised Hotch she'd ask for help when she needed it, she wasn't ready for that right now. Maybe Hotch was learning to read her mind over a long distance, because the next call was from him.

"It's Hotch. Andi was going to call you, but I asked her to let me do it. She needs you to come in on Friday for a debriefing. It's her case so she needs to be the one you talk to, but if it's alright with you I'd like to be there. I offered the conference room here, because I thought you'd be more comfortable, but we can change that to my office or hers if you'd rather. I don't have to be there, if you're more comfortable. Andi's a good agent, and I'm sure the two of you work well together. I still think of you are being BAU, not human trafficking, and I want you to know that I'm here to support you whatever way you need."

His voice was even and matter-of-fact. Most people would think he was calm, bordering on dry. Years of calls from Hotch, though, meant that she knew better. He was upset. he was also having a hard time taking a step back and letting her make choices, rather then make the decisions. If she didn't let him come to the interview he'd worry himself into an ulcer and pace a hole into the carpet outside of Andi's office. She didn't know how to convince him that nothing that had happened was his responsibility. He carried too much on his shoulders without carrying her as well.

"Mommy, where you at? Daddy buyed us tickets for flying on the plane on the weekend."

"Saturday," a familiar voice said in the background. "Arriving at one o'clock, remember?"

"One clock, mommy, 'memeber? Me and daddy are flying on the plane, and I can sleep in my real bed in my real room, 'cause daddy said. I love you!"

JJ didn't realize that she was crying until she brushed her hand against her cheek and found that her fingers were wet.

"JJ? It's Hotch again. I just talked to Garcia, and she said you'd been gone for the whole afternoon. She's worried about you. Can you give one of us a call, please? I know you probably just need some space and I respect that, but I only just was able to talk Garcia down from running a track on the GPS in your phone. I don't think even a call from Morgan's going to keep her calm for long. She mentioned you and gutter in the same sentence; I think the last twenty-four hours are catching up with her." JJ almost thought he'd hung up, but after a long pause he added: "I think things are catching up with all of us."

JJ stared at her phone until the screen went black, all of the messages played out, and then she kept staring. She needed to call Reid, Garcia, Hotch, and Andi. She needed to get to the pharmacy before it closed, to pick up her prescription. She needed to get home before it started getting dark and the cool spring day turned into a frigid spring night. All of that sounded like too much, though. Instead she sat on the curb and stared at a crack in the cement, wondering how long she'd have to be gone before the world started moving on without her.