Author's Not is at the end of the story and is optional.
Dad
(A Response to NinoandJaffar's "Father")
By SakuraTenshikami
He never seemed to understand.
He never understood anyone with the exception of outsiders. By outsiders, I mean people who aren't part of the family. He understood Mom, I'm sure, but I do question that most of the time. But me? No. He never took the time to try.
He doesn't say my name too much. When he does, it's always used when throwing a threat. Any other time, my name is "Brat," "You," "Stupid," "Slave," "Useless"… The list goes on.
I just want him to say my name in a different voice.
:::
Today was another one of his days. Actually, his day is like any other day. He gets up, goes to work, comes home, and spends the rest of the day acting like a grump. I swear he's hitting his senile ages a decade or so too early. Mom always has to calm him down, but not even she can always be successful. We both just know that he likes to target me.
Just me, and anyone else who gets in his way to get to me.
I know my father would never touch my mom in an aggressive manner. But as her son, I can't help but feel that I have the responsibility to protect her-to protect my family.
He doesn't like that.
:::
I went to Sasori no Danna's house again. Mom urged me to go. I wanted to go. We both knew it was the only sanctuary I had when my father was home. My room was never enough-whatever is my territory is his territory tenfold.
I knocked on my best friend's door. When he opened it and asked the exact routine question, I gave him my answer. "I fell down the stairs, un," I told him.
I never knew why I always lied to him, even though we both knew it was a lie, even though he had slowly poked and prodded me to the point where I would just tell him the stories of the abuse I would receive. Maybe it was just part of the ritual.
He continued to lead me up to the bathroom to clean me up. A swipe of a washcloth over blood, a wrap around the slightly bigger scratches, a wet towel over my swollen eye.
I really liked to listen to his classical music as we lay on his bed in silence. I may not know many of the titles, but I tried to remember them as best I could. I could at least remember the soothing melodies. Unlike my bed, I found his to be a little more comfortable. Maybe because I knew I could actually relax. Maybe a plain room like his wasn't so unartistic after all.
"I like it here, un."
"I like you being here, too."
I sat there a moment. A slightly embarrassed flush starting to warm my face. "I feel… safe… secure… when I'm here with you, un."
"I'm glad. You are safe and secure with me."
Suddenly, I couldn't help but feel enlightened. I knew he cared. But sometimes I just wondered if he was tired of me coming to him at times like this. "You love me and care for me," I started, "and that's all I want, un."
"And I always will."
I thought back at all those times that I would look at the picture of baby Sasori no Danna and his parents. His dad. His dad looked very nice. Something that I wished my father was like. If Danna was anything like his dad, then I wanted to be loved by him forever.
:::
Yelling and screaming rang through my ears. Father wasn't going to calm down anytime soon, despite Mom's efforts to quell his behavior with her gentle, yet harsh tone.
Slap!
"You're worthless!"
All I could do was wait,
Slam! My head collided with wood.
"I never want you in this house again!"
take the crushing pain,
Grabbing of my hair and arms, being kicked repeatedly to the ground.
"You don't deserve to exist!"
and try my hardest to hold back the tears forming in the corner of my eyes. As pathetic as it was, I couldn't even fight back. I was too afraid. I didn't want to hurt Mom. Father was already doing a good job of that.
:::
She finally calmed him down, getting him outside for the world to see. He would never show his ugly self to the world. Mom gave him an earful from what I could see out the window. After some time, they came back in. His expression was one that I had almost forgotten. He was sober.
Before I could register anything, I felt arms reluctantly, awkwardly embrace me. He was hugging me. Gently.
"I'm sorry," he said softly, rubbing my sore back. "What I've done was wrong of me to do. I'm sorry... I really do love you, Deidara."
Nothing could stop them now. Rivers of tears fell from the corners of my eyes. What I had wished for…
I hugged him awkwardly back. "I love you, too, Dad… un."
This was the first time I've seen my father like this in a very long time. Acting like the dad he should be. For the first time in years, I saw a glimpse of actual sincerity, sympathy, actual love and care… Like a real dad.
I need to do my best to keep that memory of feeling loved; feeling safe and secure for those very short few minutes…
"Dad" will be gone tomorrow.
AN: So it was my turn to add my part of the collab one-shot. This, like Nino's is also a vent story. After reading her fanfic, "Father," I just couldn't help but feel happy to hear that someone cared about my well-being inside the home. It's always hard to reach out to others in need like that... and it's especially hard when you don't know who to trust. What had happened doesn't happen as much as I portray it in this story, but when it does, it's always painful. With my father, I don't even know if he really means the rude things he says when he uses them as jokes, because he always uses them as threats, too.
Anyways, this was a slightly exaggerated side of my story, but it's somewhat true, nonetheless. Thank you Nino, for always being there for me. I appreciate every bit of love you give me.