Sorry for the delay in updating this story. I had midterms this week and a bunch of homework I was procrastinating... :D I would love to hear your guys's advice or comments about this story so please please leave some feedback, it would be much appreciated!

I personally enjoy Chakwas as a character. Although we don't interact with her much in ME 2, I always found her as someone who admires Shepard on a different parent-like level. Anyways, here's another chapter, I'll post one this weekend as well. And if you have read my other story Mass Confusion, I haven't forgotten about it. I had complete writers block but I thought of some awesome ideas. :]

Chapter 2

Chakwas had sensed something was wrong when Shepard didn't come by for the usual chat they often shared. Worry creased her face and she glanced out of her window to see if she could spot Shepard walking over. Nothing, she was contemplating whether or not to talk to someone, see if they knew if anything was going on.

"Ah, I'm sure everything is fine." She reassured herself glancing back down at her report she was filling out.

But she could not shake that feeling of something being so awfully wrong out of her mind. At that moment she was startled by the sound of the door behind her hissing open and a few second after, closed. Chakwas turned around hoping to find Shepard standing there smiling upon her, but she was sadly misled. It was just Samara, although her presence was greatly appreciated as well, but she was no Shepard. They did not share that special bond that those two did. It was as if she was her own daughter in a way. Shepard always seemed to come to her for advice when she needed it most.

"Oh, what a surprise Samara, I wasn't expecting you to be here." She said with a genuine smile.

"Yes, sorry if I am intruding, I know you are a busy woman, but I have something troubling that I need to discuss with someone." Samara was standing up straight, never quivered, and just stood there strongly with her chin up and chest proud. She portrayed the image of pure wisdom and knowledge. That very presence intimidated the doctor slightly.

"Oh, of course, you're not intruding. What's on your mind?" She motioned for her to sit at the seat across from her. Samara followed.

"Well I was meditating while Shepard was on her mission on Horizon, when I sensed something was not quite right. This was of course when Shepard was making her way back from the planet. I tried to ignore the sensation I was receiving but it only strengthened over some time. I decided to try and focus my energy on it trying to pinpointing where and what it was, but I was struggling. Of course this was strange because I am extra in tune with emotions and signals that come my way." She paused and took in an exaggerated breath before she continued.

"I decided I would stop my meditation and head outside to see if anyone noticed that something was wrong. By then the feeling was overwhelming. I stepped outside of the observation room and noticed someone exiting where Kasumi often stayed. I thought nothing of it and began my journey forward. That's when Shepard stepped out, and the same sensation I felt came rushing towards me with such a force that could have knocked me down. I had to step back to stop from falling over. I noticed she was holding a very potent bottle of Asari liquor and couldn't help but feel worried for her. I don't know what happened down at Horizon but it must have affected her in such a way that tore her apart." By now Samara was out of the seat pacing slowly in front of Chakwas.

"Hmm," was all Chakwas could muster out, obviously in deep thought although she knew exactly what had happened to her.

"I was contemplating whether or not to talk to her, she was paused staring at me intensely, but I decided against it and retreated back into the room. Might I ask, do you know what could have caused her to resort to acting this way? Looking for liquor is hardly what I imagined her doing after a mission, Doctor. I am fairly worried about her Chakwas, and I know how close you two have gotten." Worry rushed across Samara's face. "You must know something that may help her."

"The only thing that comes to mind that could affect her so profoundly is… but no, it couldn't be, he couldn't be there, not this far into the terminus systems. Alliance would never had sent him this far." Speaking more to herself now than to Samara, she wanted to confirm her suspicions. That's when she called joker over the intercom set up in her medical office.

"Joker, this is Chakwas, was it who I think it was back on Horizon who caused Shepard to act in such a manner?"

"If you're talking about 'Staff Commander Alenko', then yes, it was. Why do you ask doc?" Joker had an annoyed tone to his voice while referring to Kaidan, it seemed like that's all the crewmembers could talk about.

"Oh, it's nothing, just go about your business in driving this ship." With that she closed the comm before Joker could reply.

"I think I might know what this is all about. Staff Commander Alenko, as I just confirmed, was stationed there during the attack. Those two had a strong relationship back on the first Normandy. You know he sat by her side in the medical bay, while she lay there unconscious, he stayed awake for almost 24 hours straight because of something he thought was his fault," the doctor sighed while shaking her head slightly, "if what I think happened, then the commander could be in deeper trouble than we thought."

"What do you mean 'deeper trouble' what trouble could she be in now? I thought the Collectors were the worst of her problems?"

"The Collectors are still her worst problem, in the sense that humanity will perish, but this trouble, is different, more affective in distracting her if she chooses it to be."

Samara stopped her pacing, walked over to Chakwas and placed her hand lightly on her shoulder.

"Then there's no one better that I would recommend to talk to her. If I were close enough I would try to myself, but I doubt that will do much for her. Please Doctor, what I felt wasn't something that just happens on a regular basis, it was overpowering to say the least. I have rarely ever felt such a surge like the one that was radiating off of her. It worries me, even frightens me." She glanced towards the door, removing her hand off the doctor's shoulder and made way towards the exit.

She spoke again over her shoulder towards the doctor just before exiting, "If this Staff Commander Alenko was so close to her, how could he place her in this situation and leave with her heart broken?" She paused for a second, "the human race occasionally astonishes me at times, and the things you are capable of doing worries me even more." With that Samara exited the room and headed towards the observation deck to meditate.

"I shock myself too sometimes," Chakwas barely whispered. She sunk back into her chair and just stared at her screen on the desk. Not feeling the urge to finish her report, or even do any work for that matter. All she could think of were the memories of Kaidan and Shepard, sneaking into her office, trying to be discrete. But they knew that the rest of the crew was aware about their relationship and they still made the effort to sneak around regardless. She let out a soft chuckle to herself.

"Oh you two were something alright!"

"Sorry to interrupt Doctor, I would highly suggest that you check on Shepard. The video feed to her room shows me that she is sprawled across the floor in what seems to be an uncomfortable position that will surely cause some soreness in the morning."

"Oh, EDI, you startled me a bit! But of course, I will make my way over to her cabin straight away. And thank you for informing me."

"You're welcome Doctor."

With that Doctor Chakwas got up from her seat and made way towards the elevator which would carry her up to the entrance to Shepard's private quarters.

Shepard woke up with half her body on her bed and half dangling off the side. Her feet were numb, along with her hands, shoulders and legs. Just about every muscle and limb was numb to the touch. She tried lifting herself up, but she just wouldn't budge. She sighed in resignation and just lay there staring at her ceiling. She realized that this was the first night since her resurrection that she didn't have any reoccurring nightmares about her death or Kaidan.

"How much did I drink? I don't even remember how I got to my room."

She began rubbing her now throbbing forehead, fully not expecting a reply to her unanswered question. The reason behind her jolt when EDI replied with a calculated answer.

"According to my calculations, you drank over three quarters of the Asari liquor before passing out along side your bed." EDI replied nonchalantly. "I took the liberty of having Doctor Chakwas check up on you, that's when she lifted you and placed you upon your bed."

"I thought I said not have anyone disturb me while in my room, EDI?"

"I realized that is what you told me Shepard, but it looked as though you needed some assistance, and considering how close you and the Doctor have gotten, I figured you wouldn't have minded if she was the one who arrived to assist you."

There was a moment's pause as Shepard began to slightly move up into a sitting position. She made a pained face while she managed to place a little too much pressure on one hand versus the other.

"No, if you say it looked as though I needed some assistance, then I'll just have to agree with you. And thank you for sending Chakwas rather than anyone else aboard the ship. It means a lot."

"Of course Shepard, I am also here to inform you that you have slept for 12 hours straight and Joker has still not set a course or destination for anywhere specific. He has been since flying in between fueling depots around Horizon. I suggest that if you have a destination in mind, that you send the coordinates to Joker so he can fulfill his duty as the helmsman."

"12 hours eh? Wow, felt like it was only 2. Thank you EDI, I'll be sure to have Joker set a course soon."

"Understood. Logging you out, Shepard."

By now Shepard had made it to her feet and started heading over to her desk. When she arrived to her private terminal, she noticed a blinking unread message. She decided that it could wait and made her way towards the shower. Shepard always found that taking an extremely warm shower the morning after drinking, relaxes every muscle in her body. It made her feel as though she is refreshed and ready for anything that came here way. These days it was the slightest moment where she could really unwind for a few minutes and just relax. But every blissful moment has its harsh ends. She got out unwillingly and dressed in her casual gear and made way to her desk to read the unread message.

Her heart skipped a beat, she sunk down into her chair, and immediately felt her hand begin to shake, her whole body began to quiver, and that's when Joker interrupted.

"Uh, Commander, hate to bug you when you clearly said not to be disturbed. But I am really board of driving this ship between these two fueling depots. Please tell me you have a destination in mind?" His voice was very annoyed and tired. Knowing him he hasn't left the cockpit since Shepard's arrival back on the Normandy. She often wondered how he could stand staying up there for such a long time, even with the new leather seat addition.

"Sorry Joker, I… uh, needed some time to myself. But set a course straight to the Citadel. Let everyone know they have a 48 hour shore leave. That means you too Joker. I'd better not see you aboard the Normandy in the two days we are docked there! And yes that is an order."

"But, ugh… fine. I guess I could stretch my legs a little. ETA, 4 hours."

With that, silence engulfed the room again. She refocused on the message before her.

Shepard,

I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?

Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don't know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me… maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can't just put that aside.

But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die - On Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again. If you're still the woman I remember, I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch Yourself.

When things have settled down a little… maybe… I don't know. Just take care.

-Kaidan

She didn't realize that she'd been holding her breath the whole time she was reading the message. She re-read it over and over again until she practically memorized the whole thing. She tried to imagine him sitting at a desk reading it out loud with vast amount of emotions running through him, anger, frustration, mistrust, love, hatred. Every emotion she knew he must have been feeling was justified. She couldn't imagine having the situation reversed. Having him gone, dead for two years, and then out of the blue, just pop up to save her life after the collectors almost take her away onto their ship. She shuttered and quickly shook that thought of her mind. But he was quick to blame on Horizon, he barely even let her explain. And with what she did manage to say, he brushed it aside with the accusations about working 'for' Cerberus. She sat there contemplating whether or not to send him a message. Does he expect to receive one from her? He did say when things settle down to contact him, or was he just being nice? This went on for about half an hour until she gave up and decided that her hunger should be attended to before trying to make any reply, after all she had 4 hours. Plus the crew was probably worried sick about her right now.