Just so you know, if you have not figured out already, italicized sentences/words are the characters thoughts. And Kaidan's back! :] Woooh, love him! Enjoy!

Chapter 4 Defending Love

Kaidan was making his way through a crowded Citadel towards Anderson's office up at the Presidium. Ever since Horizon he had been forced into meetings with countless number of Commanding officers, Admirals, and Councilors all of whom had asked the same questions repeatedly.

'Was Shepard working for Cerberus?'

'Was Cerberus behind the attacks of the mission colonists? If not who was?'

'How did Shepard get the GUARDIAN lasers to work so fast when it took days for you to even begin to understand how to fix them?'

Questions that Kaidan could now answer in his sleep. He was tired, exhausted, and could feel his body slowly wanting to shut down completely, but he couldn't let that happen, no matter how painful it was. He had a job to do.

Kaidan was a few feet away from the elevator when he noticed his Omni tool lit up telling him there was an unread message awaiting his attention. He ignored it; right now he had pressing matters he had to attend to, like getting to the elevator before the door shut closed.

"Hold the door please!" he yelled as a hand stuck out obeying his request.

"Thanks," glancing up towards the blue Asari who simply nodded at him.

The elevator ride was a silent one. He couldn't help himself when he remembered all of those long rides in the elevator with Shepard. He always stood behind her and every once in a while he'd glance down at her 'womanly figure', and admired the view. He swore one time she had caught him staring, which only made him turn bright red. She simply let out a small laugh under her breath holding his gaze for a brief moment before turning away.

Oh how much he had missed that perfectly tanned and toned body of hers. The way her skin had felt silky smooth under his when they made love.

Shaking the memory out of his mind, he cursed at himself under his breath for even going there.

She's working for Cerberus now and there's nothing you can do about it. Heck, she didn't even reply back to your e-mail that you sent her a couple days ago. She moved on.

He let out an overly exaggerated sigh which made the Asari give him an awkward glare. The elevator came to a halt at his stop and he practically ran out of there to escape the unnecessary glare he had been given. As he stepped outside he stood there admiring the view for a few seconds. The citadel had looked just like it had before the Sovereign attack, pristine and glowing. Interrupted by an orange flashing glow, he glanced down at his Omni tool and was rudely reminded again about the unread message.

Annoyed, he opened up the message while making his way towards his destination. He fully expected it to be some junk e-mail, but was suddenly stopped in his tracks by the rushing blunt force that sunk into his stomach. He stood there leaned against the wall practically gasping for air when he realized just who the message was from. He quickly closed his e-mail and shut off his Omni tool. He couldn't read the message, not now, not right before his private meeting with Anderson.

Realizing he was leaning pathetically against the wall, he pushed himself up. Kaidan could feel his legs begin to shake as he made his way towards the door. He tried his best to hide his emotions behind a blank façade which he had no struggle creating and stepped into Anderson's office.

"Kaidan, I am glad you could make it." Anderson motioned for him to sit down across from where he resided.

"We have been anticipating this meeting for quite some time now."

They weren't alone; Admiral Hackett had joined in on this meeting as well. This made Kaidan a little nervous.

"Admiral, Councilor." Kaidan nodded acknowledging their presents before taking a seat.

"We wanted to thank you for your patience and understanding about the constant debriefings and repetitive questions being thrown your way during your meetings. I know that must be quite unpleasant having to go through that." Admiral Hackett voiced his thanks and Kaidan simply nodded. He had no clue where this was going which made him even more nervous.

Anderson cleared his throat before speaking.

"With what you have done so far, with all of what you have put up with, we wanted to be the first ones to let you know."

Kaidan was confused, "Let me know, what sir?"

"You are being considered as a candidate for the Spectre position, Kaidan. We have been discussing this ever since your return from Horizon. You had shown excellent leadership and loyalty to the Alliance and the Council has been extremely impressed with your Advancement so far. Especially with how exceptionally fast you flew through the N7 marine program." Anderson smiled.

"We are all very proud to have you on our side Kaidan and we fully believe that you will be granted this honorable position." Admiral Hackett added.

Kaidan was speechless; he just sat there, shock splattered across his face. He didn't know what to say, he had a chance at being the galaxy's second human Spectre. His mind flooded with Shepard's face. He wondered what her reaction would have been like if she was here with him.

"Th-thank you, I am shocked. I never would have thought this would have happened to me. Wow, thank you."

Both the men glanced over at each other and let out a laugh.

"Well, I hate to be leaving so soon, but I am on a tight schedule and need to head back to my ship. Congratulations Staff Commander Alenko, best of luck to you." With that said, Hackett made his way out the door leaving Anderson and Kaidan alone.

Anderson glanced over at Kaidan and gave him a friendly smile.

"So, now that's out in the air, want a drink? I've got scotch imported directly from Earth."

"No thanks, I've been trying to stay away from alcohol lately. Considering just how bad it had gotten following Shepard's…" He couldn't finish his train of thought.

"How is she? You never stated in your report the details of your conversation you had with her. Just that she confirmed working for Cerberus."

"With. Working with Cerberus." He unknowingly corrected Anderson. Why was he defending her now?

"And she seemed fine, her scar underneath her right eye was completely erased, which would make sense with the story she gave us, being rebuilt by Cerberus. But I still, I still don't trust anything she said. She could have been manipulated by them, or even worse, a fake." Kaidan had physically shuttered from the thought an imposter carrying the face of his old love, his current love.

"She seemed to me to be the real Shepard, I mean when she came to visit me…" Anderson realized what he was beginning to say and quickly shut up. He hadn't told Kaidan that he met with Shepard before Horizon. It was too late though, he could see furry flooding Kaidan's perfectly neutral complexion.

"Excuse me? Wh-what did you just say? Do you mean to tell me that you met with Shepard before sending me to Horizon and did not think to tell me about that?" Kaidan's voice was now an uproar, feeling dark energy creeping through his body, collecting around his hands in particular.

Anderson took in his posture and quickly tried calming him down, "She came here when you were already on the ship heading towards Horizon, I felt it unnecessary to let you know, I didn't know how it might have affected your focus on your mission." He paused taking in a breath before continuing, "She came here looking for you, and I knew she was working for...

"With" Kaidan rudely interrupted.

"With Cerberus, and I couldn't trust her just yet, I didn't really know it was her. Until she kept on trying to persuade the location out of me, she tried everything, and that's when I knew it had to be her. She never took no for an answer and when she realized that's what she was getting, she dismissed me with a hand to the air, and stalked out from my office without saying goodbye. She was fairly pissed; I was surprised she didn't use her biotics on me."

Anderson leaned against the railing looking out at the beautiful view, sighing to himself, engulfed in a far away memory before turning his attention back to Kaidan. By now he could tell that he was more relaxed, biotics still glowing but not as profusely as before. He leaned up against the conference table.

He shook his head in disbelief, "You, you could have told me. I would have been able to handle it. I mean, it would have been nice to know that she was going to be at Horizon beforehand, so I wouldn't have said the things I said to her. I could have at least… prepared." Looking down at his fidgeting hands, he remembered about the awaiting e-mail. Before he could end the conversation Anderson began to speak.

"You still…" Anderson paused, deciding against saying anymore. "I know, I should have told you, but you must understand I had to be extra cautious with her. We hadn't heard from her for two years. Who knows what she could have been up to?"

Kaidan simply nodded his head and leaned off of the table. Exactly how many people knew about his relationship with Shepard? The thought worried him a bit.

"If that's all."

Anderson quickly nodded to the soldier and saluted, letting him know he was dismissed.

Kaidan turned towards the door and made his way back to his apartment. Feeling a migraine coming he decided he'd wait until he made to his apartment to lay on his bed before reading Shepard's e-mail. His walk quickened as his patience slowly came to an end. He hadn't realized just how far his apartment was from, well from just about everything.

It was a decent apartment, nice big bedroom, walk in closet, not that he needed it, a respectable sized kitchen with all updated appliances, which he rarely ever used. And not to mention the world's comfiest sofa he ever sat in. That sofa was probably the only thing that kept him from moving to a closer complex.

He finally made his way to his apartment, opened the door and quickly made his way to the medicine cabinet stationed in the kitchen. He opened up a bottle of prescription meds and plopped one into his mouth, flushing it down with artificial orange juice. Not the kind imported from Earth, he missed the taste of real pure orange juice, it always reminded him of his home back in Vancouver.

He began to strip out of his clothes getting completely naked as he climbed into his bed under the sheets. He had grown accustomed to sleeping without clothes. Ever since Shepard's death, he often got horrible nightmares which would leave him waking up completely drenched in sweat. So he figured instead of constantly having to wash his sweaty clothes and bed sheets, he would sleep naked and only have to worry about washing his sheets.

He got comfortable and finally opened up the message. After reading it the first time, he read it another, and then another, followed by yet another time. He lay there, stunned by what he was reading.

"She doesn't completely hate me." Kaidan whispered.

No, that can't be true. She couldn't just forgive and forget everything I said just like that, I haven't even forgiven myself yet! Plus she wants to meet me here, at Dark Star Lounge, to… talk? I seriously don't deserve this.

He quickly glanced at his clock, and the time the message was sent, and realized that she was going to be docking here in 20 minutes. That left enough time for him to take a shower, get dressed, and sprint all the way over to Dark Star Lounge to try and make it on time.

He sighed to himself, "I really need to move somewhere closer."

He quickly jumped out of bed and got ready. He stepped out of the shower, dried himself off, put on clothes, and was out of the apartment in less than 10 minutes. But that still wasn't quick enough; he was going to be late.

"So what exactly are you going to say to him?"

Shepard leaned against the wall taking in the pilot's question. She honestly had no clue what she was going to say to him, all she knew was that she needed to clear things up between the two, and the only way to do that was in person. Just like what Chakwas told her.

"I, I don't know," she mustered out.

"Hah, awesome, not only are you giving him a second chance, but you also have no clue what you're going to say to him! It doesn't sound like your conversation will go well, Shepard."

"No, it has to, I won't let it otherwise. I am in control here, and I will know what to say when I am with him. By the way, I need to have a chat with EDI about letting you bypass my security to the cameras stationed in my room." She stood tall looking down upon him with a stern glare, making Joker just a tad bit nervous.

"I don't think that is necessary commander," EDI began to speak, "I have reinforced the firewalls to your rooms security along with triple checking the new code to make sure he won't be able to bypass the locks."

Shepard silently thanked the AI, when she noticed a couple of the crew members walking towards her to make their way out of the Normandy so they could begin enjoying their shore leave. Garrus was the first to make it to her.

"Shepard, I have been thinking, and if you need me to come with you, you know stand by just in case something happens with you and Alenko…" Shepard interrupted before he could finish his proposal.

"No, that will be unnecessary. And besides, don't you have a date tonight with a special someone?" She nudged the stiff Turian adding a wink at the end of her question. Joker on the other hand began to laugh obnoxiously sputtering incomprehensible words in between his laughter.

"I, I better get going." He quickly turned around embarrassed by the slight teasing and laughing he received from Shepard and Joker.

"Wow! I've never seen him so, emotional before. First blushing, now embarrassment, he must really like Kelly, or something!" Shepard shot a glance towards Joker as she awaited his reply.

"Yea, or something."

A few other crew members walked past the two. Shepard nodded to some, returned salutes to others, and embraced her close comrades. Finally, in what seemed like forever, the last of her crew came shuffling up the stairs and down the hallway up towards where Shepard awaited, Doctor Chakwas.

The commander gave her the warmest smile she could muster out before giving her a long embrace.

"Chakwas, I have a lot to thank you for. You made me realize that people are worth giving second chances to. You have been there throughout a lot of my emotional baggage and I appreciate everything you have done for me. Especially sticking it out with Cerberus," She gave her a smile before continuing, "If I have time after my personal matters are attended to, we should go out for drinks and dinner. We can share more personal stories, this time funny ones though."

Chakwas grinned at Shepard; it was the biggest smile she ever saw from the Doctor. It practically lit up the room. "Oh Shepard, you don't have to thank me for anything. I was simply helping out someone dear to me, a daughter." It looked as though tears were forming in her eyes, "And oh, I'd really enjoy that. Maybe Joker can join us as well?"

"As much as I would love reminiscing about the past with you two, I've got some plans of my own, with… Jack."

"Now that, I wasn't expecting!" Both the doctor and Shepard spewed out in unison. They glanced at each other before busting out in laughter.

"Hah, ha, laugh it up you two. But ill have you know, I am starting to really like her. She's, she's different." A smile formed across his face before grabbing his crutches and making his way towards the exit. Chakwas followed after grabbing her bag and tossing it over her shoulder. Shepard lingered back a few moments, making sure everything was running smoothly and EDI had the ship in lockdown, for fear of tamperment by Alliance soldiers. After all, they still didn't trust her. Everything seemed to be in working order and she decided her presents was no longer needed on the ship and made her way out.

As soon as the elevator opened up she glanced down at her Omni tool while exiting, 5 minutes late, shit.

It would take another 5 to 10 minutes to maneuver around the busy crowd. There was no telling whether he'd show up, he didn't send her an e-mail saying he would be there so she really had no clue. She only had hope; hope that he still had some lingering feelings for her, enough to make an effort to hear her out.

She shoved past an Asari and Krogan couple, hearing shouts of crude comments yelled her way. She didn't care; the only thing on her mind was getting to Dark Star Lounge to see Kaidan.

She saw her destination creep around the corner. She slowed her pace and smoothed loose strands of hair out of her face before walking through the doors into the bar.

She searched everywhere for him, glanced in every corner. Even went looking in the men's restroom before deciding she really had to go pee. She began making her way towards the ladies restroom when she saw him.

He was wearing a form fitting Black v-neck shirt, no armor, with a black zip up hoodie that he had with him from Vancouver. She remembered, because she commented on how it didn't fit in with the outer space style back on the SR1. She loved the way he looked in his Earth clothes, so handsomely sexy. She also noticed that he'd gotten bigger, more muscular. She didn't notice back on Horizon because of the armor shielding, but now without it, and him standing in front of her. Oh, it was going to be hard to resist her tempting thoughts.

She realized she was just standing there staring at him with her mouth slightly open. She closed it quickly and made her way down towards him.