The Unofficial Fanfiction University of Smash
Chapter 2: Trying to get organized…
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone/thing/place and I definitely don't own underwear… Who in their right mind wears that crap anyway?
Gold stars:
You can all have 5 unlessyour review was even remotely like the fake review I put at the bottom of my last chapter… you don't get any gold stars if you did that…
Ok then… I'm trying to be as mean as possible… and that's very easy to do with all the pricks out there… YAY! I CAN BE ME AGAIN!
I said, I didn't care to have you people in my story… and yet you sent mestuff anyway… umm…
That's fine… I was a loser and lost the PM someone sent me… honestly I have no clue where that thing went…
Is this a good time to mention that I have PMS?
ICP!
"Where am I?" Jabba Jo Jangles asked to the person sitting next to him.
"I don't know where you are. Where are you?" The person asked in confusion.
"I have no clue where I am! Can you help me find myself kind person?" Jabba said in a mean, nasty way.
"Ok, I'll look for you…" the person said walking off in search of where Jabba could possibly be.
"I hope he finds me soon. I really need to do something about this whole 'university' thing," Jabba said watching the person leave with a mix of love, luv, luve, and Louisiana. Sadly the Louisiana was more than Jabba expected and he started beating himself down with a spoon.
"ZOMGLIEZORZ STOP TEH SADNESS!" Kirby yelled and tried to stop Jabba from hitting himself, sadly Kirby was caught in the attack and popped.
"JOO ARE IN TROUBLE FOR MURDUR IN TEH FIRST DEGREE!" a cop yelled and then pulled a gun.
"Stop right where you are! Don't move! STOP MOVING I SAY!" the cop yelled and then shot a random bullet into Jabba's kidney. This bullet in Jabba's kidney ended up causing Jabba to cry. The tears healed the world from the sins of humanity. This caused humanity to get pissed off and beat Jabba down with baseball hats. The attempt on Jabba's life failed miserably and so they just decided to watch some good, wholesome, healthy, cream cheese.
"EVERYBODY STOP MOVING FOR JUST ONE SECOND!" Joeb shouted in anger raising his fist to symbolize farting. So everyone then stopped for exactly one second and then ran in circles crying.
"What's so scary?" Joeb asked but was then silenced by the silence of the lambs. Then the lambs started being more talkative and Joeb was no longer silenced.
"Who's everyone anyway?" Pichu asked.
"When did you get here anyway?" Kirby asked.
"Can someone stop pulling my hair?" some random bald guy asked.
"How are you bald and yet having your hair pulled?" Joeb asked.
"Who are you to question bald people?" Pichu asked.
"Why are we all asking questions when some random crazy mob is surrounding us?" Kirby asked as the group was being surrounded by a mob.
"Where am I in all of this?" Jabba asked as a mom was surrounding him.
"WTF?" everyone screamed like trade brokers as they stared at Jabba being devoured by the mom, who was very fat by the way.
Then everyone calmed down. The bald guy's head reflected sunlight into the mobs eyes causing them to all uniformly trip into the fat mom causing her to explode getting the nasty insides all over the mob causing them to kill themselves in sadness. Then Kirby, Pichu, Jabba, Joeb, the rest of the Smashers, 2,500 random students, and George W. Bush all suddenly appeared in an auditorium.
"WTF?" Everyone screamed together in a large, ear-shattering scream that ended up breaking George W. Bush.
"You broke the president!" some random FBI agents screamed and pointed at the crowd. Then they ran to randomly placed bathrooms and began crying.
"Aww… You hurt their feeling…" Joeb said using the FBI as an example as to why we should all be better people.
"We're sorry…" said the huge crowd together causing another ear-shattering echo that ended up breaking the auditorium.
Joeb stopped caring as he realized that he had to put something useful into the chapter before it ended. So he destroyed the Lutheran Church and then stole a microphone in the chaos that ensued.
"OK PEOPLE! You are all here at the Unofficial Fanfiction University of Smash for one reason! You're either really bad authors, or you're so good that I end up hating life!" Joeb said.
"Isn't that two reasons?" Jabba asked in his conformist way.
"If you're going to question me, then don't question me in a conformist way!" Joeb yelled feeling hurt. "Anyway. You will be going to classes that you will sign up for now. There are basic classes like grammar, and then there are your electives like romance, humor, forums, and reviewing. I have taken the liberty of forcing Jabba Jo Jangles to go to each and every one of these classes just for fun. I've also made it possible for Jabba Jo Jangles to never have to eat. The bad part is that I had to sell his soul to make this possible."
Jabba tried to protest but fell over in the attempt and cried. One random person tried to comfort him but ended up breaking his arm instead.
"Sorry!" the random person said before dumping Listerine into the wound. "I'm sorry! I don't mean to do this!"
Then the random person got lice and died.
"Whatever, you are all signed up for your classes, now you all need to go to your rooms, I have conveniently created a plot hole so that you already know where your rooms are and what your classes are that you signed up for even though you never actually signed up for them. And the Smashers will be teaching you, and whatever else you need to know." Joeb said and then sent them all to their rooms/dorms/bouncy balls.
Jabba Jo Jangles went to his room and learned that he had a roommate. The roommates name was Fabba Fo Fangles. The roommate then died and was replaced by a very humble yet pathetic and retarded author that has no life, Maku. Kirby then ate Maku and popped due to the extreme amounts of acne all over Maku's butt. This left Jabba all alone in his room.
"Yay!" Jabba said.
"Warning, you must get to your first class thingamabob or we will shoot you," said the wannabe professional.
"Get out of here Mekle!" Joeb yelled pushing the person into a meat grinder.
"Don't mind him, he was just my twin mother!" Joeb said as everyone thought about how the crap this was even possible.
"Whatever, just get to your first class" Joeb said.
So Jabba tried to sluff, but failed miserably and so headed to his class.
YAY!
I feel soooooooooo wired…
Problem: being wired is like being a bean burrito, although I still don't know why…
Kirby popped. Isn't that fun!
And I still don't know what happened to the urination from that throne, I think its still all over my pants…
If you read this and like it, then good job…
Just so you know, I only did this so that one person might read me and honestly like the story. I don't care if only one random person just skims through the Internet and finds it. As long as one person sees it and likes it then I'm happy. I already get all my fun, I don't need to try and make stories for you guys. I just want to share my freaky lifestyle with you.
Enough of that touching romantic whatever crap. What I really want to say is 'beans' in a fancy way.
R&YE Read and Yorktown Edibles!
W00T W00T!