The Unofficial Fanfiction University of Smash

Chapter 3: Class two: SSBM modes and stuff

Disclaimer: I don't own any thing Smash. I don't own any universities. I don't pwn. I never said I pwn I said certain things pwn. I don't own how pissed off people get when I insult the fact that they're going to think almost entirely differently than they do now in about one year.

Gold stars:

You can have several billion gold stars (about fifty cents or so)

The one kind of person I hate: People who sit in a corner and do absolutely nothing because they're too scared and then when someone actually DOES do something they point and laugh at them and act as if they're so much better than the one who's actually doing something. If you're scared then fine, just don't laugh at someone who does something. And you can laugh at someone IF AND ONLY IF you actually KNOW what the hell you're talking about!

Michael Jackson is awesome!

Jabba walked into his next class feeling ashamed of his Kirby popping. Joeb appeared to him and told him nobody really ever liked Kirby anyway, and assured him that Kirby always seems to come back to life after being popped. With this Jabba went to his second period, SSBM modes and stuff.

"Hello! Welcome to SSBM modes and stuff! In this class you will learn about the actual GAME that you're writing about! We didn't think this class would be necessary, but some very noobish people have apparently been saying stuff about this game before they even knew who Samus was and how you unlock her! Here at the UFUS, we'd like to educate you about things that should be obvious!" said Kirby as he danced around for his class. Jabba looked shocked to see the puffball that he had popped only a few minutes earlier.

"Actually, that's all the lesson says for me to say. After that it just says 'good luck' and says some random words in leet. So I really have no clue what to say after that." Kirby said and looked around nervously. No one said anything as they watched him like judges at the Olympics.

"Umm… who wants to play a game?" Kirby asked as everyone suddenly jumped up screaming.

"OOH! OOH! I WANNA PLAY A GAME! PICK ME! PLEASE!" everyone screamed as the noise caused all the glass in the room to shatter. This caused everyone to get painful cuts, which caused them to scream louder. This caused the roof to collapse, which broke the bones of random students. This caused even louder screams and the end of the world, as an elite few knew it.

"Settle down class! You can all play!" Kirby said, but no one heard him because they were so busy screaming out random painful words.

"Well. I guess that can be your lesson then…" Kirby said as he walked out of the room and let the riot of pain and noise continue.

Jabba was in the middle of the screams and broken glass and bones. He didn't know what to do. He eventually decided to join in with the screaming, but he forgot how and was immediately laughed at for not being as cool as the other people.

"HA HA! YOU'RE NOT SCREAMING!" one boy screamed as he pointed at Jabba.

It was at this moment that Jabba decided to leave the classroom. Kirby was sitting outside playing with a yo-yo.

"That's a sexy yo-yo!" Jabba screamed causing Kirby to flinch and drop the yo-yo. Then Kirby started crying. This confused Jabba.

Joeb suddenly appeared and slapped Kirby. "You're a failure! You let the class get out of control! They'll never learn if our teachers are this incompetent!" Joeb screamed. Kirby started crying harder.

Jigglypuff suddenly appeared and slapped Kirby. "I want a divorce! You're always too busy with your wife and kids!" she screamed. Kirby was rolling on the floor bawling his eyes out.

Bowser suddenly appeared and pulled out a diamond ring. "I love you! Will you marry me?" he asked with hope in his eyes. This drove Kirby over the edge, he immediately grabbed the diamond ring and popped himself with it.

"Is that a no?" Bowser asked with confusion.

"So THIS is what the Smashers are like in real life!" Jabba said to himself with amazement. Everyone suddenly looked at him with looks that looked kind of like a look that would make you look twice.

"Uh oh" Jabba said as they surrounded him.

"CONGRATULATIONS!" Joeb screamed giving Jabba a gold star and some ketchup. "You got what you were supposed to out of this lesson! SSBM modes have nothing to do with anything, so you shouldn't care at all! Instead of paying attention to how you unlock a character, you should pay attention to the character! Kirby, you can come out now!"

Silence.

"Umm. Kirby?" Joeb said with a sudden look of fear in his eyes.

"KIRBY? ARE YOU ALIVE?" Joeb said crying.

Nobody answered as Joeb screamed at the top oh his lungs while staring up at a passing cloud.

"Relax dude I'm right here" Kirby said as he walked over to Joeb. He then tripped and landed on a rosebush. Kirby popped again.

"NOOOOO!" Joeb screamed again.

"I'm fine!" the pink gooey remains of Kirby said as it sat there in a puddle.

"Way to ruin the moment you prick!" Joeb screamed and then left as author inserts usually suck and I don't want to ruin this story more than what's already been done.

Kirby returned to his puffball state.

Just then the classroom that Kirby had been teaching in collapsed and everyone inside of it died.

"Well. I guess you're the only survivor Jabba! That means you're the only one worthy of writing fanfiction!" Kirby said patting Jabba on an inappropriate place.

"HEY!" Jabba screamed.

"What? I'm freaking SHORT! I can't reach all the way up to your BACK! I need to pat something lower down that I can actually reach!" Kirby said as Jabba nodded in understanding. Then Jabba popped Kirby.

"HA! JOKES ON YOU!" Jabba screamed and tried to run off but ended up slapping into the wall.

"And remember kids! I'm a starting character in the game! That means you don't have to unlock me!" Samus said to a wall.

"Why are you talking to that wall?" Captain Falcon asked as he walked by.

"Because the wall actually understands me! UNLIKE YOU!" Samus cried and ran off dramatically.

Captain Falcon tried to follow her and explain his situation but ended up slapping into the wall.

"PICHU!" Pichu screamed and slapped into the wall. As Joeb saw the carnage the wall was causing he decided to put a sign up. It read, "Warning! Don't slap into the wall at high speeds!"

Jabba then woke up from slapping into the wall, went to slap into it again, and realized that there was a sign so he stopped. Jabba then started to go to his third period. He wasn't going to his third period. He was STARTING to go. This means he looked to his left and right for oncoming traffic before crossing the street.

YAY!

I'm glad that this Fanfiction University has taught Jabba some safety rules. He really should make sure to look both directions before crossing the street.

I know you might think that this was a stupid chapter. I also know that you could be thinking about anything right now and so I really don't care.

Yeah… this is a fun story…

Maybe, if I keep telling myself that, this will come true.

So all I can hope for is that you decide to read and review.

I SHOULD DO POETRY!

R&3… Read and 347! (I feel soooo clever right now)