The Unofficial Fanfiction University of Smash
Chapter 8: Class six… Romance!
Disclaimer: I own SSBM and Nintendo and France… LOL! I wouldn't own France…
(I don't really own SSBM or Nintendo…)
(Nintendo does)
(And they are not responsible for me sucking)
(This story is not meant for small children, as it my prove fatal if swallowed)
Gold stars:
Have some gold stars for reviewing! You can also be told about the BEST strategy game of all time! Victoria! It's just a game about world conquest that's a little big more realistic then most games where you destroy the world. And you get the option of completely destroying France!
I think Pee Wee Herman is the next Picasso.
I think Barney is the next Bach.
I think I am the next Earnest Hemmingway.
I think FFN is the next Teutonic Knights.
Jabba was a rebel. Instead of walking into his next class he decided to skip into his next class. Sadly, as he looked around, everyone else was skipping into the class too.
"I've failed!" Jabba cried. Instead of cutting himself, he decided to be a rebel and not care. Sadly, as he looked around, nobody else cared either.
"Damn" Jabba swore to be a rebel. Sadly, as he looked around, everyone else was swearing even louder and with much worse words.
"Damn isn't a real swear word! It's pathetic! You're pathetic!" one girl yelled, pointing at him.
He flipped her off to be a rebel. Sadly, as he looked around, everyone else was flipping her off too.
So, he decided, in order to be a rebel, he would have to do something truly drastic. He started watching Barney. Sadly, as he looked around, everyone else was watching Barney too.
He jumped up and started bashing his head into a wall. Sadly, as he looked around, everyone else was bashing his or her head into a wall too.
He decided to get good grades. As he looked around, people tried to get good grades, but failed.
"HA! I DID IT! I WAS A REBEL!" Jabba yelled, lifting his arms into the air with victory.
"Nuh-uh! You aren't a rebel! You're the only sell out here! The rest of us are rebels!" one girl yelled, pointing at him.
"Why are girls always doing stuff out of character? Why aren't there more boys? Is Joeb a sexist letting mostly girls in so he can be alone with them?" Jabba asked.
"No, it's just that most fangirls are girls… sometimes they can be boys though…" the girl said trying to sigh in frustration. She had a heart attack instead and died.
"Stop talking in class you little whippersnappers!" Doctor Mario yelled running into the room with a shotgun in a comical way in his attempt to be funny. Sadly, he fell over and got his arm blown off.
"That was very sad and not funny at all" one girl said, pointing at Jabba as he tried to mock Dr. Mario in a comical and funny way.
The whole class threw tomatoes at Jabba in disgust.
Just then, one nerdy looking kid raised his hand.
"Yes nerdy looking kid?" Doctor Mario asked trying to sew his arm back on; he ended up just giving himself AIDS though.
"Why would a doctor be teaching the class about romance?" the nerdy looking kid asked.
"While it is true that I'm a doctor, I'm not the kind of doctor you think I am. I'm a doctor of LOVE baby…" Doctor Mario said winking. Half of the girls fainted the others barfed. A couple of guys giggled though.
"First lesson! Roy and Marth don't work! Marth's Fire Emblem game has NOTHING to do with Roy's as far as anyone knows yet. Marth would probably hate Roy because of his red hair. Roy would call Marth a fruit for the tiara. That is how it would go when they first see each other. Then Roy would call out his band of mercenaries and Marth would call his out and they would fight until only Roy and Marth are left. Then they'd go out for some beer and rape little children. I would know this because I am a doctor of LOVE… and have been doing studies on the two for quite some time" Doctor Mario said with a wink.
Half of the girls barfed until they fainted, the other half had already fainted. A couple of guys giggled again.
"NOT LIKE THAT!" Doctor Mario screamed taking out a bubble gum wrapper and killing the poor guys with it.
Just then Peach broke into the room. "I'm leaving you for Mario!" Peach yelled as Doctor Mario started crying.
Doctor Mario then ripped up his doctorates.
"I LUV j00!" Peach screamed kissing Mario, who was no longer a doctor.
"Remember kids! Girls hate smart people! They want someone who will just randomly babble while listening to them about their new shoes!" Mario said with a wink.
The girls woke up, listened for a little while, and then fainted again.
A couple of guys giggled.
"Was that a coherent sentence you just said?" Peach asked in anger.
"I dunno I was just ya know yeah blargen froikel blah blah" Mario said trailing off.
"I STILL LUV j00!" Peach screamed while kissing Mario.
"How is she screaming and kissing Mario at the same time?" Jabba asked himself.
"Why are you asking me? How would I know?" Jabba replied.
"I just thought you did…" Jabba said.
"Well I don't!" Jabba said.
"Fine… I'm going to figure this out though…" Jabba commented.
"I scream into his mouth! Which usually causes great amounts of pain! But he's my Mario and so I have the right to cause him all the pain I want!" Peach said with a wink.
Half of the girls got malaria and died.
A couple of guys giggled.
Jabba was one of these guys.
He was soon shot by a northern/southern/eastern/western hic.
"Don't make fun of Texas like that!" one girl screamed.
"What in gods name are you talking about?" the hic asked. "Whatever, I don't care much fer them technological doohickeys anywho. I prefer my good ol' banjo" the hic said.
"Stop making fun of Texas!" the girl cried.
This hic was actually from Austria.
"I'm a male! Male's are not represented enough in this chapter! Girls are not the only stupid ones and this chapter is sexist!" a male woman said.
"XOMG!" Jabba said as he was in on the new trends.
"I'm still trying to teach!" Mario yelled at the distracted class. They all turned to watch him.
A couple of guys giggled.
"WHO KEEPS DOING THAT?" Mario screamed trying to pull out a shotgun in a comical and funny way. He blasted Peach's head off on accident.
"NOOOOO!" Mario cried looking up into the sky with horror.
Everyone in the class clapped at the performance.
"That wasn't an act! She's dead! Don't you care?" Mario yelled in horror.
Everyone in the class clapped at the performance.
"Whatever! The point is that all good romances involve a girl that hates the main character but then through some odd way such as rape or murder of the other guy the girl realizes that she might as well give in to her stalker!" Mario said.
"Was that a coherent sentence you just used?" Peach's dead corpse asked in anger.
"I dunno I just well you know umm yeah…" Mario trailed off.
The hic from Austria went skydiving but missed and hit Mario and they died.
The whole class caught malaria and then threw it at the UK.
The UK was destroyed.
Ireland wasn't.
Ireland caught malaria and threw it back at the class.
The class died.
Germany went on a mad world conquest.
They lost in their confrontation with Bolivia.
Hong Kong declared independence from China.
Jabba decided to stop watching the news and left for his next class.
YAY!
Romantic is from romanticism which is an idea of everyone being connected to some stupid over soul or something like that and not to destroy all the trees and be one with nature and yourself. I don't know how that was converted into a cheesy guy loves girl and girl loves guy but neither will admit it idea, but it was.
XOMG! ACT II SAID IT FIRST! HE PROBABLY STOLE IT BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE STOLE IT FROM! ALL I KNOW IS XOMG!
Read and Rotate…
(is witty)
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XE: I am the best smiley of them all!1
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