He rang the doorbell for the third time, his sleeping bag lay forgotten on the floor. He really really hoped that it wasn't too late and that she was still up. However, the odds were slim since it was almost midnight and the household usually turned in early. Letting out a sigh, he turned around to leave, taking his sleeping bag with him. That's when he heard the click of the front door.
"Finn?" The sight of a familiar face almost made him cry. He was so, so tired.
"I'm sorry for bothering you this late," he said quietly.
"How did you get here? Does your mom know you're out?" She was squinting, looking for something behind him. Probably wondering what his transport was. He walked. She looked concerned. He was undeserving. It almost made him cry.
"Mrs Fretthold, do you think I can stay here tonight?" The woman frowned at him. He couldn't blame her. If it was the other way around, he'd be slightly freaked too. "I don't really have anywhere else to go." Her face softened, and she smiled warmly at him.
"Come on in."
xxx
Sean Fretthold was Finn Hudson's first real life hero. If you didn't count his father. Which Finn sometimes doesn't because he didn't really know his father. People just told him that his old man was a hero, a fighter who died for a noble cause. So his father was a hero just by default. But Sean Fretthold, he earned that title in Finn's life.
xxx
The first time he went to football camp, Finn was terrified. He was a scrawny fourteen year-old, whose body was too large to walk in and too gangly to be comfortable with. He had stepped off the bus, in awe of the surroundings and he can still remember the anticipation he felt as he looked around at all the older boys, most of whom were probably senior footballers with way more experience than his. It was the first year he could afford it by spending six months making the paper route. His mother paid for half of the fee. When Puck told him about football camp the year before, his face lighting up as he talked about how awesome everything was, he had to contain his jealousy. Finally, he made it to football camp too.
"Hey beanpole," he was startled out of his catatonic state by a flick to his forehead. Finn looked up to see a big strapping jock looking at him in amusement. "First time at camp buddy?" he nodded, speechless. The boy in front of him was big and muscular. He looked like an actual footballer! He must be older because he didn't look nervous at all. Suddenly Finn realized they were the only two people left and the bus wasn't behind him anymore. Puck had totally jilted him. The tool. "I think you might be drooling a bit there." Finn quickly put a hand up to his mouth to check. He felt his body flame with embarassment as the other boy laughed.
"C'mon dude. You're gonna be late for the briefing," he continued, slapping Finn on the back before walking towards the building in front of them. He followed blindly. He found Puck inside, already sitting in the front row, an empty space beside him. At least he wasn't a total tool.
"Where the hell were you?" his friend asked in a whisper. Before he could answer, the briefing began.
His second day at camp he met the boy again. He found out the guy's name was Sean Fretthold and that they were put in the same team. Puck was on the other side of camp. Sean was a junior from Carmel. He was the quarterback and he was the most amazing player Finn's ever seen in real life. Naturally, he became the team captain. And Finn was his reserve.
"Man, be cool," Sean had yelled at him after the fourth time the ball slipped from his hands. "It's just a ball dude." Finn stared at him uncomprehendingly. It's never just a ball. It was life. Wasn't it?
"You can't play well if you're too busy freaking out Finnster," Sean told him one evening once practice was over and everyone left the field. The older boy had pulled him back and offered a one on one session if he wanted. Hell yeah he wanted. Sean Fretthold was one of the football gods at that camp. He was a legend among the freshmen. People are even saying that he might get picked up by the big leagues. Finn didn't know why the guy was bothering with him so much, but he was definitely grateful. "Look, the ball is like a part of you. When you're holding it, it should feel like it's an extension of your arm, or something."
"I know, I know. You told me that," Finn muttered, frustrated with himself. "I suck!" he said, pathetically lying down on the grass. Sean rolled his eyes and sat beside him.
"Dude if you sucked, do you think I'd be bothering right now? You got the goods man. You just need to control the nerves."
"Yeah well how do I do that?" he asked, one arm over his eyes.
"Look when you're out there, it's just the ball and you alright? Everyone else is like a distraction. You gotta keep your eyes on the prize. What's the prize?"
"The touchdown."
"Exactly. And the crowd doesn't even exist man. The crowd is like white noise." Finn didn't ask him what white noise was because he didn't want Sean to know he was an idiot.
At the end of camp, there was a big game. All of the blood (some linebacker nearly took off his arm during one game and he had to be benched for the next two), sweat and tears led to that very moment. He was the reserve. He didn't really mind. Finn didn't want to be the guy that threw off the game. Plus, Puck was in the opposing team. Playing against your bestfriend would kinda suck. But three-quarters through the play somebody called a time out. Suddenly Sean was walking off the field, walking towards him. Finn was pulled off the bench and found himself face to face with his captain.
"Get out there Hudson,"
"What?"
"Finish the game."
"No. No I can't! I'm not-"
"Quit being such a pansy and get your ass onto that field and finish the damn game Hudson!" In a daze, Finn found himself hauled onto the field, the rest of his team mates waiting expectantly. He turned around to see Sean Fretthold smirking at him. Suddenly they were off, the ball in his hand. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Puck charging towards him. Keep your eye on the prize Hudson. He saw the line. It was clear. Finn took off running as if his life depended on it and nothing else seemed to exist. He didn't even realize that Puck was closing in on him. Or that his linebacker just ran his bestfriend into the ground. He didn't even realize he made it until the crowd started screaming at an unholy level. He looked up to see his mentor running towards him along with the rest of the team all whooping and chanting his name. A huge smile broke over his face as Sean and Andy, the linebacker, took each of his leg and hauled him up on their shoulders. They won. He won them the freaking game. Sean Fretthold was his freaking idol.
When the bus made a stop at Carmel High, Sean had turned around and winked at him and said "See you next year Fab-Finn," before he stepped off. Finn waved at him from the window until he couldn't see the quarterback anymore. He turned back to his seat with a grin on his face and caught Puck staring at him, frowning.
"Dude, are you like, gay now or something?" He rolled his eyes. Puck was just jealous that Finn got to keep a huge ass trophy and all he got was a medal.
xxx
The next year, Finn couldn't make it to football camp. His mother got laid off and even though she didn't say anything, he knew they were barely getting by. So he used whatever money he had from his paper route for groceries before his mother could buy any because he knew there was no way she'd let him otherwise. To say he was dissapointed was the understatement of the century. He was hoping to see Sean again so he could show the senior how much he was improving. And to tell him he made the team. His mother didn't remember football camp even existed and Finn tried to refrain from mentioning it to her. He didn't want her to feel guilty or anything.
Still, he figured he could just say goodbye to Puck and the rest of the guys. So that morning when everyone was leaving for camp, Finn took off on his bike to the school. When he reached there he saw Puck hanging out with Mike Chang and Matt Rutherford. He bumped fists with them and decided to wait until the bus came.
"Oh hey, did you hear about the quarterback from Carmel?" Matt asked. Finn's ears pricked up.
"Sean Frettwood?" he asked. Puck snorted.
"Finn totally went all Brokeback Mountain on that dude's ass last summer." Finn rolled his eyes, not bothering with a reply.
"Actually I did hear about it. It was nasty," Mike said, wincing. Finn furrrowed his brow.
"What happened?"
"People are saying that he got into an accident at a game. Some dude flipped him over or something." Matt began.
"He's paralyzed man," Mike added. Shock did not even begin to cover his feelings at the moment.
"Dude," Puck muttered. "That sucks."
"Yeah. I heard the guy like, can't walk. Like, ever."
"You mean like that wheelchair kid?"
"No I think it's worse man. They're saying he can't even move out of his bed- yo Finn! Where're you going?"
"Finnster!" Matt called. He ignored them, continuing his walk towards his bike.
"Douchebag," he heard Puck say.
That day while the bus took the rest of his friends to football camp, Finn Hudson pedaled as fast as he could to Carmel, 20 minutes away. When he reached the address, he was wheezing. Collecting himself and making sure he was presentable (his mom told him to never enter a stranger's house without looking civilized. Puck's didn't count.), he rang the doorbell. It took three rings before someone answered. A disheveled woman opened the door and Finn was reminded of his mom for some reason. She had dark circles under her eyes and it looked like she'd been crying. Suddenly Finn wasn't sure this was such a good idea anymore.
"Mrs Frettwood?" he asked tentatively.
"Yes?"
"My name's Finn Hudson. I'm Sean's friend. Is it okay if I see him?" She looked surprised. Then she smiled sadly at him.
"I don't think he wants to see anyone right now Finn."
"Oh."
"Are you a friend from school?" He shook his head.
"Football camp. I go to William McKinley. Sean gave me your address last year before camp ended," he added quickly. He didn't want her to think he was like a stalker or anything. She frowned, noticing the bike that was parked at the driveway.
"Did you use that to get here? You must be exhausted." He shrugged, ignoring the sweat that was making his shirt stick to his back.
"Nah. I'm used to riding a bike." They both heard a splash and Mrs Frettwood had turned around instantly, leaving him at the door. He followed her because it sounded like something big and if like a cat fell into the pool or whatever, he could totally help get it out.
But it wasn't a cat.
It wasn't a cat at all.
He could barely hear Mrs Frettwood's shriek over the ringing in his ears. Was that what Sean meant when said white noise?
Sean Frettwood was in the pool. He was in the pool and it looked like there was a wheelchair in there too. Finn was no genius, but it didn't take one to understand that Sean Frettwood had been using that wheelchair to drive himself into the pool. He snapped out of his trance the moment he saw Sean's mother jumping into the water after her son. In a flash, Finn found himself beside the pool, helping Mrs Frettwood haul her son onto the tiled floor. It wasn't easy considering how loudly Sean was yelling and the amount of trashing his head was doing.
"Dude!" he yelled, when he almost got headbutted in the face. Finally, they managed to get Sean's whole body out of the water. He was breathing hard, his face scrunched up in pain. Finn felt the hairs on his whole body stand on end when Sean let out the most ear-piercing howl of pain he had ever heard.
It was an odd situation to be in. With Sean crying in his arms and his mom crying in the pool.
And Finn, well he wasn't sure if the wetness on his face was from the pool water or his tears.
xxx
"What the fuck are you doing here?" He said nothing. The other boy snorted viciously. "Feel sorry for me Hudson? Get the fuck out of my face." He left.
xxx
"Don't you get it asshole? I don't want you here. Leave."
xxx
"What the fuck is wrong with you kid? Are you dumb or something? Stop coming back. I don't want you to."
xxx
"For the love of God Finn. You really need to learn to take a hint. For the final time please. Do. Not. Come. Back."
xxx
It took him two weeks and six visits, but he finally made it without Sean telling him to fuck off. He stayed for an hour. The boy refused to speak to him so Finn talked instead. And he talked about the time he thought Mrs Sharp from Science was pregnant when she really wasn't. He could have sworn that there was an almost smile on Sean's face when he ended the story with his detention. The rest of summer was spent alternating between his odd jobs and 20 minute rides to Carmel. He became a fixture at the Frettwoods and learned that Mrs Frettwood's cooking skills definitely trumped his mom's. He missed one day because Mr Beckett from the drugstore had told him he'd get double payment if he'd cover the morning shift. The next day when he arrived in Sean's room, the elder boy looked surprised.
"Oh you're here."
"Of course I'm here. Where else would I be?" he asked, confused. Sean turned away, looking out the window.
"I don't know," he answered, his voice small. "With your other friends who can actually do something other than lie in bed and move his neck?" Finn frowned. Sean had never spoken this way before, and he didn't like it. At all.
"Nah," he answered. He refrained from mentioning that his other friends were at football camp.
He would have been there regardless. After a while, Sean began to actually talk to him. Like, actual conversations that doesn't involve just him telling stories of his idiocy anymore. It was the week before summer was going to end when he mentioned the accident.
"Third game of the season man," he said quietly. "I coould hear it, Finn. I could hear something breaking and I knew it was me." Finn says nothing. What could he say? The last day of summer, he spent the whole day with the Frettwoods. Sean's mom even invited his mom over for dinner, so he wasn't leaving until after his mom showed up. While their parents were downstairs, Finn was allowed to bring his food up to the room.
"So school starts tomorrow," he began conversationally. Sean snorted.
"Yeah. About the only good thing that came out of this fucked up shit is not having to go to school."
"I made the team you know." It was the first time he ever mentioned football. He held his breath, waiting for a response. After a while, Sean smiled.
"Good for you Fab-Finn. I told you you got the goods. You gonna cream my old team now? You probably could you know, since I'm gone."
"It's all because of you dude."
"What?"
"That I made it. If I hadn't met you at football camp, I would have never made the team. I'm serious!" he insisted when Sean scoffed.
"Talent is talent," Sean said simply.
"Yeah but I would've never gotten over my nerves if it weren't for you. Dude I worshipped you. I followed you around like a puppy dog." They both laughed at the memory of his eager face nodding at every word coming out of the senior's mouth.
"I never got to say thank you man."
"Don't mention it."
"You're my hero dude. Don't you ever forget that. Don't ever let me down." Finn said this quietly, embarassed but also knowing that Sean needed to hear this. He pretended not to notice the tear falling out of the corner of his friend's eye.
"Good luck with your team, Loser."
xxx
Mrs Frettwood told him he could sleep in Sean's room. He entered the room quietly, trying not to wake his friend.
"What the hell did you do?" Finn yelped and jumped about a foot in the air. In the dim light, he could see Sean smirking.
"I thought you were asleep."
"Nah. Just contemplating my life as a cripple. So what happened? Not that I'm not elated that you're here in my room in the middle of the night, but what the heck are you doing here Finnster?" Finn laid out his sleeping back and sat in the middle of it, sighing.
"I called Kurt a fag."
"Your glee buddy with the crush on you?"
"Yeah. Well I didn't call him a fag exactly. I said that his blanket was faggy. And his lamp."
"Why?"
"Remember when I told you my mom was dating his dad?"
"Yeah."
"Well apparently now we're living with them. Well, she is anyway." Sean let out a low whistle. "We're supposed to share a room. I kinda freaked a little bit."
"Yeah, kinda."
"I feel like such an asshole. I didn't mean to. I mean I felt like I was getting shafted, you know? I loved my house. It was my home. I don't want to live with Kurt and his dad. And I don't want to share a room with Kurt. It's uncomfortable man! I know he like likes me and it makes me feel like I can't do anything in there. Like, I can't even sleep 'cause I'm so freaked. And plus these two assholes at school is all up in my face these days trying to beat me up. They're already ragging on me with the whole Glee thing and this thing with Kurt just makes everything like a million times worse. Do you know they almost pounded him yesterday at school? Yeah, but Ms. Pillsbury found them and they backed off. And then he told me to tell them to lay off him. Yeah that would work. Well," he continued after a pause. "Kurt liked me anyway. He probably hates me now."
"Dude what is up with your life and the lack of drama?"
"What?"
"I mean it's so boring. Look at me. Just yesterday I saw two aeroplanes outside my window. Two. And the day before I heard Mrs Norris next door singing Memories cause she was drunk off her ass. After all that excitement you come and tell me you got kicked out of your gay friend's, who has a crush on you by the way, house for calling his blanket faggy?"
He stared stupidly up at Sean. It took a second or two before both boys exploded into peels of laughter. He felt like he couldn't breathe, he was laughing so hard.
"This isn't funny," he wheezed before breaking into giggles.
"Sure it is. The whole thing's so ridiculously fucked, it's a fucking riot."
Finn wiped the tears of laughter of his face. Or maybe they were just tears.
"I need to fix this."
"Yep."
"How the fuck do I fix this?"
"Go to school in a Superman costume and beat the crap out of the bullies?" Sean offered before cracking up again. But Finn wasn't laughing.
"Dude," he said slowly, like he had an epiphany. "I could totally do that." Sean stopped laughing and craned his neck to stare at his friend.
"I was kidding."
"No, no, no. That's totally awesome. It would be so freaking epic."
"Oh my god you're not kidding." Finn didn't reply, his head already filled with ideas and plans of execution. Sean shook his head.
"You're batshit insane Hudson."
"Hey, do you think maybe your mom would let me borrow your shower curtain?"
xxx
"So, Rachel came by yesterday."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. She made me do vocal warm ups. That girl is a tyrant tapped in a deceptively hot little body." Finn snorted.
"Told you."
"She was kinda off though," Sean said carefully, looking at his friend. Finn was gripping the armrest of his chair so tightly, his knuckles were white. "I asked her what was wrong and she just smiled and said she got funked. What the hell does that even mean? Is that what the kids say these days?"
"No," Finn answered quietly.
"Dude. Help a guy out here. You know the two of you are like, my only contact with the outside world."
"It's nothing. She just found out that her boyfriend is a motherfucking jackass." The venom in his voice was unmistakable.
"What did he do?"
"Played her. I told her!," he burst out. "I knew that jerk was up to something. But does she listen to me? No! She goes gallivanting off with that douchebag and now look where it got her?" Sean hid a smile.
"Gallivanting huh? Big word. Did you prep for the SATs?"
"It's a Rachel word," Finn muttered distractedly.
"Uh-huh."
"Now she's all heartbroken," he said furiously, ignoring Sean. "and she's walking around with this ugly ass frown on her face. It was almost like that time she went to school in her pajamas. Only that was cuter. Now, she just looks all depressed and stuff."
"So?"
"What?"
"What're you gonna do about it?" Sean chuckled at the gleam in his friend's eye. It was so un-Finnlike, it was hilarious.
"Puck and I've got a plan."
Ah. He wishes he could be there.