Chapter 5: Kelso… The (Red's Favorite Word)

Place: Foreman Driveway

(Two Days Later)

The gang minus Jackie and Eric were just arriving at the Foreman's, and Kelso was telling the gang a story while they walking onto the drive way.

"…then I heard this amazing joke from the chick with brown hair and huge jugs. The joke was really funny…" Kelso said with a huge grin, leaning his back onto the Vista Cruiser.

The gang waited a minute before Hyde said, "Well…"

Kelso stopped grinning and said, "What?"

Hyde said, "What's the joke? You moron."

Kelso said, "Oh, I don't remember because we did it after that, and that was more awesome than a funny joke."

Donna shook her head and said, "Somehow it doesn't surprise me that you would forget a funny joke over that you did it with some slut."

Kelso, shocked, said, "Donna I'm offended! You know I wouldn't forget a funny joke unless the slut was that really hot!"

Randy shook his head and said, "Whatever, let's go inside so we can watch Hogan's Heroes."

Fez said, "Yes, I can't wait to see how Hogan beats the Nazis again and what hot maiden he gets to kiss looks like this time."

They made their way down the outside stairs and they opened the back door to find Jackie on top of Eric making out passionately on the couch. Eric and Jackie didn't seem to notice the rest of the gang standing there and kept making out.

After about a minute Donna whispered to Hyde, "Don't they need to come up for air?"

Hyde smiled and whispered, "Yeah, and they haven't even gotten blue in the face yet."

Fez whispered, "Oh this is nothing, you should have seen them last night in Jackie's room, they kissed for a half-an-hour straight."

Everybody shook their heads at Fez. They looked back at the couple making out and they saw that Eric and Jackie were getting a little too frisky with each other.

Donna decided to end this by doing one thing, "Are you two done yet!"

Jackie jump off of Eric, and straightened her dress and skirt. Eric sat up and fixed his shirt.

Fez disappointedly said, "Awe, they were just getting to good part."

Jackie, looking very angry, said, "How long were you guys standing there?"

Hyde laughed and said, "Long enough to realize that you two don't breath."

As everybody sat down in their spots, Donna said, "Eric, how come you always had to come up for air when you were kissing me?"

Eric said, "Donna, you were always on top of me and you were twice my weight."

Donna said, "Oh come on, I wasn't that big!"

Hyde said, "No, but Foreman was that small, remember when we weighed him that one time and he was only ninety pounds!"

Everybody laughed at that except for Jackie and Eric.

Jackie defended her boyfriend by saying, "Stop teasing Eric! He looks so hot now."

Eric turned to Jackie and said, "Thanks Jackie."

"You're welcome sweetie." Jackie said then quickly kissing Eric.

Donna shook her head and said, "It still is hard to believe that you two are together."

Kelso in a pissed off manner said, "Yeah Eric, now you messed the order up!"

Eric looked oddly at Kelso and said, "What order?"

Kelso said, "The order of who dates Jackie of course!"

Randy said, "I didn't know there was an order?"

Kelso said, "The order was supposed to go: myself first, then Hyde, then Fez, then back to me, then Bob, then Randy, then Donna, then Leo, then back to me for a third time, then ERIC, then some random guy, and then back to me."

Donna said, "Ok first, why do you get with Jackie four times? Second, why am I always on these lists you make about who gets together with girl? Finally, you're a perv!"

Jackie said, "Yeah Michael, you are a perv!

Michael, a little peeved, said, "To answer your questions Donna, first I was Jackie's first love, so obviously she would date me more than once. Second, you are kind of a rough and manly for a girl. Finally, I am not a perv, I just enjoy beautiful women."

Hyde, defensive to his girlfriend, hit Kelso in the arm, and said, "That's my girlfriend you are talking about perv!"

Kelso yelled, "AH! Well… you suck Hyde!"

Fez says, "Please, let's just turn on the TV."

Randy says, "That sounds good Fez."

After about a minute or two of watching the TV, Donna turned to Jackie and said, "Hey Jackie. When did you first like Eric?"

Jackie said, "Do you mean physically or crush-like?"

Donna said, "What?"

Eric said, "Well, Jackie and I were discussing this last night on our date, and we figured that there are two ways you first like a person. There is physically, like when you are attracted to a person's physique, and there is the crush-like form, where you like the person's for who they are."

Donna, still confused, said, "Give us an example."

Eric said, "Ok, the first time I liked Jackie physically was when Hyde and Jackie were first dating and Hyde explained to me why Jackie was hot…"

Hyde interrupted and said, "Oh, can I tell the rest? It doesn't matter I am going to tell it anyways. So Eric was trying to explain why Jackie was the devil, and I tried to explain it to him why Jackie was hot. I first tried by telling him to imagine if he was on a deserted island with her alone. Eric then said he would commit suicide. Then told him to imagine her with a coconut bra and hula skirt on, and Eric imagined it and said it was very displeasing. Then I told him to do what I do and get rid of her voice. Eric imagined it and said she was hot."

Eric turned to Jackie and in a scared voice said, "Please, don't be angry at me."

Jackie shrugged her shoulders and said, "Eh, I was a bitch back then what were you going to think of me?"

"Oh my gosh, you are the best!" Eric said then giving Jackie a quick kiss on the lips.

Hyde said, "Eric when did you have a 'crush' on Jackie?"

Eric smiled and said, "Actually, why don't you ask Jackie about when she first liked me."

Donna said, "Ok, Jackie, when did you first 'physically' like Eric?"

Jackie said, "To be honest, when you sent me wedding shopping with him and he put on that tux."

Donna laughed and said, "Thinking about taking Eric all the way back then, huh."

Jackie said, "I wasn't thinking about taking him away from you, I just thought he looked hot in that tux. I wasn't thinking about dating him until I had a crush on him."

Randy said, "Well then, when did you have a crush on him?"

Jackie said, "Well, actually it was Fez's doing."

Eric said, "Yeah, for the both of us actually."

Fez said, "Well if I can't get love myself I guess I can be happy with getting other couples in love… screw it, Fez wants a woman!"

Randy ignored Fez and said, "Well come on tell us when you both first liked each other."

Jackie said, "Okay I'll tell mine first. It all started on Christmas Day, four months ago…"

AN: Again my apologies for the long wait. I just had a hard time making this chapter. I already had ideas for the next chapters, but I was at a loss for how this next chapter was going to be written. Unfortunately the next chapter might take a week or two to make also because I am about to get very busy. Hope you like the chapter and please review! And don't eat fudge for breakfast it tastes awful.