Spencer. Her perfume wafted through Emily's senses. Her arms held tightly to her body as the sobs wretched through her at the sight before her. Tears blurred her vision as she stared at the body laying on the stretcher, wrapped in the body bag. Maya, they all said it was Maya. All of those texts. They were all lies. Everything. She thought that Maya had left, but she didn't. The events of that night came crashing down on her the moment her mother said Maya's name. The relief that she had felt when "A" was caught was all gone. The only comfort she felt now was Spencer. The smell of her perfume, the feeling of her arms around her. That was a feeling that she would never forget, the feeling of Spencer's strong arms tightly holding her while the world around her fell apart.
Spencer's eyes never left the small frame in her arms. How could "A" have done this? How could she have hurt Emily this way. Sweet, caring Emily. The pain caused by "A" in the past was nothing compared to the pain she was in now. Having to watch Emily now, see the pain in her eyes, pain that "A" caused, that was the worst pain that Spencer had ever felt. Spencer pulled Emily closer when a dark figure moved beside them. When Spencer turned her head she realized that it was only Hannah.
"We need to get her away from here, people are staring…" Hannah said. It was only then that the looks and gestures people were making towards Emily registered to her. Spencer nodded in agreement.
"My house?" Spencer whispered. She felt Emily nod her head which was the only encouragement that she needed. Emily shifted her position, but stayed within Spencer's arms. Spencer then made her way to her house, not even checking if the others were following. Emily was more important.
Spencer placed the steaming cup of tea of the table as she situated herself on the bed. The sounds of the shower along with the smell of her soap filled the room as she waited for Emily. It took some convincing, but she finally managed to convince their friends and the respected parents that it was a good idea to let Emily stay there with her that night. Everyone wanted to stay, but she was able to get the to go home once she said that Emily needed calm. She needed space right now.
Spencer pushed those thoughts far from her mind as she heard the water cut off. The door slowly moved open and Emily appeared clad in a white tank top and some black shorts that Spencer gave her. Her black hair cascaded around her beautiful face. When she made no movements Spencer moved to her side and took her in her arms again. She guided her to the bed and just held her.
"Em, I am so, so sorry that this is happening to you. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now." Spencer whispered. Emily raised her head from Spencer's chest and looked deeply into her eyes. Spencer got lost in those eyes, those beautiful eyes that she loved so much. The eyes that made her fall more and more in love with her each day.
"Spence?" Emily's voice brought her back to their terrible reality. "Where did you go?" Emily asked, sitting up on the bed beside Spencer.
"Nowhere." Emily narrowed her eyes at Spencer's reply.
"No, what were you thinking, Spence? Please, don't start acting weird because of tonight. Please, just tell me. It'll help distract me." Emily pleaded. Spencer was holding her ground until the swimmer threw a pout on her, then she felt her resolve slowly fading.
"I was thinking about you." Emily's eyebrows shot up. "How much I love you."
"Aw, I love you too." Emily told her.
"Yea, I know." Spencer said, brushing off the pain that came with knowing that her love was not nearly the same kind of love that she harbored for Emily. She had loved Emily like she had never loved anyone, even Toby, but Emily merely cared for her as a friend. Spencer felt the sting of tears behind her eyes at this thought. She thrust her eyes closed and shook her head in an effort to regain a hold on her emotions. "You need to get some sleep." Spencer said, doing her best to look anywhere other than at the girl in front of her.
"What's wrong?" Emily asked. That night had taken a toll on all of them, but none more than the people in this room. Spencer could have died, and Maya was dead. "You've been so worried about me, but are you okay, Spence?"
"I'm fine. You just need to get some sleep. You've had a really rough night." Spencer replied, pulling back the covers so that the two could slide under them.
"We've both had a really rough night, Spence, but you're not telling me something and it's kinda scaring me!" Emily told her, getting more worried by the second. It was then that Spencer finally looked Emily in the eyes. The hurt in Spencer's eyes broke Emily's heart. Emily grabbed the hand that Spencer had on the comforter and pulled the girl to sit in front of her. A tear rolled down Spencer's left cheek and Emily reached up and wiped it away with the pad of her thumb. Spencer raised her had to Emily's and pressed her face further into the embrace. Then, with a shuddering breath, Spencer leaned forward and pressed her lips tentatively to Emily's.
Emily tensed for half a second and then felt herself melt into the kiss. She could taste the salt from the tears that were falling from Spencer's eyes freely now. Spencer's hand came to rest on her face, cradling her cheek. Just as quickly as the kiss had begun, it was over. Emily kept her eyes closed, afraid of the reaction that she was about to receive. She didn't think that she could handle an "I'm sorry, that was a mistake, I am very straight." response from Spencer, anyone but Spencer.
"I am so sorry…" Emily heard Spencer say. She braced herself for what she knew was coming, feeling her world collapse more around her with ever passing second. "You just lost Maya, and I…I took advantage of you! I am so sorry! I can sleep in the guest room if you would prefer that-" Spencer wasn't able to finish. As she opened her mouth to continue with her rambling she felt Emily's lips press back against her own.
Emily felt Spencer's surprised gasp and took advantage, deepening the kiss. Spencer felt Emily press her tongue against her own and couldn't help the whimper that escaped from her. Their tongues began a dance for dominance, one that neither were willing to relinquish. Spencer reached a hand into Emily's wet hair and pulled slightly, resulting in a moan from her. After a few more seconds Emily pulled back.
"I don't want you to go anywhere, Spence." Emily said, breaking the silence. The statement was rewarded with a small smile that graced the other girls lips.
"I'm going to tell you something. I don't know how you're going to react, but if tonight has taught me anything its that I need to get this put before it's too late." Emily nodded, urging the brunet to continue. "When I was in that car-" when Emily winced, Spencer took her hand, squeezing it gently. "-all I could think about was 'I could die tonight without telling you how I feel.' So here it is, Em, I love you. I know that this isn't exactly the right time, given what's all happened tonight, but if I don't say this to you now I'm probably going to loose my nerve. I love you more than I have ever thought possible. If you give me a chance, I would gladly spend the rest of my life trying like hell to make you happy. Everyday you make me fall even deeper in love with you just by being near me, smiling at me, just by being you." The last words are followed by a bone rattling sob.
Emily sits motionless as Spencer buries her face in her hands. "Spence," she puts her arms around the crying girl in front of her and pulls her to her. It was so different to see Spencer falling apart like this. It didn't take long for Spencer's body to stop shaking her breathing to calm. "Spence…do you think that you could look at me?" Emily asked as she slipped her index finger under Spencer's chin, tilting it slightly forward, allowing Spencer to do the rest.
"I'm sorry." Spencer's voice was husky from the tears as she spoke. "I never meant to hurt you, I just-" Spencer was cut off by Emily's next words.
"Spence, it's okay. I promise you. Thank you for telling me." Emily untangled the girl from her arms so that she could look at her more clearly. "Right now we both need to sleep." Emily saw Spencer's face fall with her statement, even though the girl tried desperately to hide it. "I'm not saying 'no', Spence. I'm just saying that we need some sleep and we can figure the rest out tomorrow. I do have something to ask you now." Emily said nervously. Spencer's eyes narrowed at her. "Will you hold me tonight?"
Emily's only answer was a nod. Spencer again stood to move the comforter so the girls could comfortably sleep under it. When Emily had situated herself under the covers Spencer followed suit and laid with her. Once Spencer's body hit the mattress, Emily gently pressed her body against her. Emily felt Spencer tense for half a second before she felt the other girl pull her into a warm embrace.
That's exactly the way that Emily awoke the next morning. She was positioned towards the window but she could feel the other girl pressed up against her back. Spencer's arms were placed protectively around her waist, tightly holding her to her body. The feeling of Spencer's breath on the back of her neck was very soothing, Emily realized. She liked the feeling of being in Spence's arms. She always had, she never thought that Spencer would feel the same.
She felt Spencer stir, pulling her tighter into her, if that were even possible. She felt the soft, almost unnoticeable, brush of lips against her neck. Emily moved her body so that she was facing Spencer now, still remaining in her arms. The other girls eyes were still closed, but a small smile was placed on her lips.
"I love you too." came in a whisper falling from Emily's lips. Spencer's eyes popped open at the sudden declaration.
"You don't have to say it if you don't mean it. I don't expect anything from you." Spencer told her, trying, and failing, to not get her hopes up. She had never expected anything in return, and if she had it was nothing but rejection. She sprung all of this on Em when she was very vulnerable, she had just lost her girlfriend. Spencer felt her jaw clench at the thought of Emily with another girl. She wanted Emily to be with her, but she knew that that was probably never going to happen.
"Spencer Hastings, look at me right now." Emily demanded, framing the other girl's face with her hands, pulling her face up to meet her gaze. "I love you, Spence. I always have, but I never once dreamed that you would ever feel the same way. I know that circumstances aren't the best right now, but I am willing to give this a shot, but only if you are in this with me."
"I am so in this it hurts." Spencer admitted, eyes misting with tears that she refused to shed. Within seconds Emily's lips were pressed against Spencer's. Spencer had no clue who initiated, but that didn't matter; the girl she loved wanted to be with her. All was right with the world for this moment.
6 Years Later
Spencer admired Emily from across the table, fingering the velvet box in her jacket pocket. It had been an eventful six years. They had started with such terrible circumstances, but through it all had persevered. After a few days of exploring new territory they had finally come out to their friends as a couple. Both of whom were overjoyed, Hannah even wanted details. A few weeks later, Spencer had come out to her family, who were also very supportive. After that things seemed to go easier. When they graduated high school Emily received scholarships to many different schools for swimming, one which happened to be for Yale, which is where Spencer also get accepted. After much deliberation, Emily decided to follow her girlfriend, even though Spencer made it clear that it was her choice. In the weeks that followed college, Spencer had been accepted into a med school very close to Rosewood, so they both decided that it was time to move back. Aria had started her own real estate company and had been begging Emily to come and become partners with her. And the most surprising of it all was that Hannah had started her own boutique shop. They had just moved back to their hometown and, with some much needed help from Aria, they had managed to find a nice apartment that they could easily afford. Things at the realtors were going great for Emily and Spencer was set to start medical school in a few weeks. There was just one thing missing, something that Spencer was going to rectify very soon.
"Spencer? What are you thinking about?" Emily's silky voice pulled her from her previous thoughts and back to the present.
"Nothing, just us, how we got here, what all is missing…" at the statement Emily's face fell into a frown.
"What do you mean 'missing'?" Emily's face changed into pure terror. "Are you trying to break up with me?" it was then that Spencer saw the tears flowing down Emily's cheeks. The sight broke her heart.
"Emily, we've been together for six years! You honestly think I would break up with you now?" the fact that she did gave Spencer a pang of hurt, but she pushed it aside. Things were about to get interesting.
"Then what…" Emily's sentence dropped when she saw Spencer move from he seat to on one knee right beside her. One of the other girl's hands came to frame Emily's face, wiping away the tears that had been shed, the other was positioned on her knee.
"More, you silly girl, I want more. I want you to be my wife. I know that this will be far from easy, especially with me in med school, but I can't go another day calling you my girlfriend. Ever since that night six years ago, I can't go a minute without thinking of you, when you're not with me it's like my heart is missing, because it's with you. I want you to wear a ring, I want you to take my name, I want to have children with you." Spencer removed her hand from Emily's knee and pulled the ring from her pocket. "I already talked to your parents and they already said yes, so now all I need is a yes from you." Spencer wiped more tears from her love's face. "Emily, I love you so much, will you marry me?" the answer came in a nod, but that was all the encouragement that Spencer needed. She pushed herself off of her knees and kissed Emily with all the love that was in her heart.
"I love you so much, Spence." Emily said when they broke for air.
"I love you so much more!" Spencer replied before reuniting their lips.
4 Years Later
"Oh, thank God! Where have you been?" Spencer was wrecked with worry. Emily's ultrasound had been scheduled for an hour ago and she was just getting to the hospital.
"What are you talking about, Spence?" Emily had just about had enough with all of the overprotection from her wife. They had decided to wait until Spence was out of med school to get pregnant, so here they were, Spencer's intern year and Em was pregnant. Ever since they found out a few months prior Spencer had been overbearing with all of the 'help'.
"Em, your appointment was over an hour ago, I've called you over ten times, Aria didn't know where you were, I have been worried sick!" Spencer saw Emily's face tighten as she spoke. She had seen that look before, this was not going to be pretty.
"Spencer, just stop it! Okay, just stop!" Emily yelled, not caring who heard. "Ever since we found out about the baby you have been crowding me! Every time I turn around you're there, telling what I should or shouldn't do for the baby! You tried to help me out of the shower last week! Spencer, you need to back the hell off! I am the pregnant one here, not you! This is my baby, not yours!" the minute the words left her mouth, Emily regretted them. She hadn't meant to go that far, damned hormones. Emily watched as all the color drained from Spencer's faces and the hurt flashed in her eyes. Then the barrier was put up. Spencer's face became unreadable.
"Dr. Murphy was called away on a cesarean about fifteen minutes ago. I scheduled your next appointment and sat everything up to do your ultrasound myself, if you want." Spencer's voice was weak, but professional. Emily hung her head in shame.
"Spence-"
"Yes or no, Emily." Emily just nodded. Spencer turned and led her to the nearest exam room.
After the gel had been applied and the procedure had started, Spencer easily found the heartbeat. "It looks like you're having a girl." Spencer told her wife after a few seconds. She promptly turned off the machine and began to wipe away the substance from her wife's midsection.
"We, we're having a girl." Emily had noticed the way Spencer said you're having a girl. It caused Emily's shame to grow more.
"That's what I meant." Spencer said as the sound of her pager rang through the small room. "911 page, I gotta go." she said as she headed to the door.
"Spence!" Emily called after her, but it was too late. Spencer had already gone.
Spencer didn't get back home until many hours later. A teenager and her siblings had been rushed into the hospital right after she left Emily. The teenager had been texting while driving and ran a red light. The teen seemed alright, but her nine year old sister had died while Spencer and her resident were operating. The youngest, a little boy of five, was in critical condition. He survived his surgery that day, but he wasn't out of the dark yet. It was days like this that made Spencer question why she became a pediatric surgeon.
All of the lights were off in the apartment. The time on the stove said 2:45am. She went into the kitchen and made a sandwich and then made her way to the overstuffed couch. Emily had found this couch at a yard sale when they first moved back and had fallen in love with it. Although Spencer protested, it was in their apartment by the end of the day. When she finished her meal, she made her way to the bedroom. There was her wife, curled up on the bed, bathroom light shining so that Spence could see when she got home. The light shown the tear tracks that were plastered on her wife's face. It was obvious that she had been crying. Spencer felt terrible, the words Emily yelled at her were still echoing in her ears. She knew the girl didn't mean it, but it still hurt like hell knowing that the thought had even crossed her wife's mind. Pushing all thoughts from her mind, Spencer grabbed the extra blanket from the closet and a pillow from the bed and made her way back to the couch.
In the weeks that passed the girls barely spoke. Spencer was leaving for the hospital earlier and earlier and getting back home later and later. Hannah and Aria had tried to play go between, but that didn't even work. Caleb took a job working on all of the tech equipment at the hospital which was a plus, at least now there was someone keeping an eye on her. Spencer was sleeping less and less, every time she laid down there was a page for some kid that needed attention right then. It also didn't help that every free minute she had between the other cases she was working, her marriage problems, a child that wasn't hers, and Caleb checking up on her every ten minutes the little boy from the car accident was doing worse and worse.
One night, after vigorous attempts to save his life, the little boy's body finally gave out. Spencer had no choice but to call time of death. It was then her job to inform the family. She found the child's father sitting in the waiting area, where he had been since the boy had started coding. As she approached, the man stood. When she began to explain what had happened, the man became more and more furious. When she had finished the tears were flowing freely from his eyes. She placed her hand on his arm in a form of comfort, but the man lashed out and immediately struck her across the face. Her body was flung backwards and before she could right herself her face came into contact with something hard and everything went black.
When Spencer awoke she noticed that she was in the doctor's lounge. She was laying on the couch and someone was holding an ice pack to her throbbing head. A moan escaped her lips and the cold compress was pulled away from her and the features of her wife filled her vision. Panic then gripped at her. What was she doing here? Was she okay, was the baby alright? Emily must have seen the terror in her eyes because she let her hand cradle her wife's bruised face. "Shh, I'm okay. A nurse called me, she said that you had been hurt."
"Ugh. Well, that would explain the migraine." Spencer said. Emily got up and retrieved two Advil from her purse and handed that and a bottle of water from the vending machine to her. Spencer down it quickly.
"Are you alright?" Emily asked, taking her seat next to her wife again.
"Everything is a bit fuzzy, but yea, I think I'm fine." Spencer said as she sat up, causing more pain to cloud her head. When she was finally in a sitting position she heard Emily gasp. Before she could question, Emily had grabbed her hand and pressed it to her abdomen where she felt tiny kicks erupt from the baby. A smile spread across Spencer's lips, but fell as soon as she remembered that this was not her child, that her wife felt that this wasn't her child. Emily must have seen this because she then began to sob.
"I am so sorry, Spence." she cried. Spencer sat up more and engulfed her wife in a bone crushing embrace, ignoring the pain it caused. "I don't know why I said that. She will always be your daughter. I am so sorry, I love you so much and this distance that we have between us right now, it's killing me! I love you so much! I need you back, please, come back to me!" Emily sobbed. Spencer gripped her tighter.
"Shh, honey, I never left you. Shh." Spencer soothed her wife. "I love you too." she said. She repeated these words over and over, until her wife finally calmed. Emily picked her head up off of her wife's shoulder and looked her in the eyes. Spencer knew what she needed to hear, "I forgive you, honey." Spencer kissed her wife gently, pouring all of the love and forgiveness that she could into that kiss. "I love you. Now, take me home…please." Spencer begged. Emily smiled and took her hand, guilding her to the door.
"Hastings!" Spencer and Emily bother turned at the sound of her name. Her resident appeared before her. "You just scored yourself a week off. Make the most of it." she said before heading to a patient. Spencer just smiled at her wife.
A few weeks later, Emily Hastings was rushed to the hospital where she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Emily stared at her wife while she held her daughter, Tyler Marie Hastings. Spencer her eyes on her and looked directly into them. Those beautiful eyes. Spencer walked over to her and laid their baby girl in her arms. She planted a soft kiss to the little girl's forehead, then kissed her adoring wife gently. "I love you, Spence." Emily said quietly.
"I love you too, honey." Spencer said, caressing her wife's face.
"Thank you."
"For what? I didn't do anything." Spencer said as she sat on the bed by her family.
"You're here, that is so much more than enough." Emily said, misty eyed. Spencer smiled before kissing her wife again, a little more forcefully this time.
"Anytime, dear, anytime."
The family went home a few days later and Spencer, Emily, and little Tyler Hastings all lived happily ever after.
Wondering if I should keep this story going with a sequel. Comment and let me know what you think. Thanks!