Thanks as always to my betas, HarmonyLover and chai4anne.

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"Donna!"

She heard Josh's voice calling her, but didn't turn around. She was sitting on a bench outside the building, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Donna." He said her name more softly, approaching and sitting down beside her, resting his crutches against the side of the bench.

After several moments of heavy silence between them, she spoke.

"The Vice President wanted to stack the debate with loony fringe candidates. The idea was that it would marginalize Hoynes, and make Russell look more presidential. I went to Peter Burton's house that morning. I showered all kinds of flattery on him. I told him he…he needed to make his voice heard." her throat tightened. "That was why he sabotaged the plane."

Josh put an arm around her shoulders, and she felt him draw in a deep breath. "Oh, Donna. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I mean, what's the best way to tell someone that you're the reason they and five of their friends almost died?"

Josh pulled her closer. "There was absolutely no way you could have known what he was going to do."

"I knew he was a lunatic! I knew it probably wasn't a good idea to be putting crazy ideas about being President into the mind of someone like that."

"You knew he was crazy. Not homicidal."

"That doesn't change the fact that he did what he did because of me."

"Donna-"

"And Russell didn't even care. He didn't feel the least bit guilty. All he was worried about was whether it could cause any problems for the campaign if people found out about it. That's what we were arguing about in the hotel that night." She paused. "I'm so sorry, Josh. I'm sorry I was ever a part of that campaign. You could have…God, Josh, if you had died in that crash…" The tears spilled down her cheeks.

"I didn't."

"Yeah, but I didn't know that at the time. I spent that whole night in jail thinking you were dead, and it was because of something I did. You have no idea what that felt like."

Her eyes met Josh's steady gaze, and shivered slightly when she saw the look in his eyes. She glanced down, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. Of course you do. Joanie."

He was quiet for a moment. When he did speak, his own voice was choked with emotion. "I was thinking more about Gaza."

"Gaza…" she looked at him in surprise. "Gaza wasn't your fault, Josh. Not at all."

His shook his head. "We both know that isn't true, Donna. I'm the one who sent you there. You didn't have to be there, but I sent you anyway. I knew how dangerous it was. Those State Department travel warnings are there for a reason."

"Yes, they are, and I read them too. I wanted to go to Gaza, Josh. I knew the risks. It wasn't your fault." She paused. "It's not the same thing. You were trying to give me an opportunity. I was carrying out a campaign strategy, a stupid, slimy, dishonest strategy that I never should have gone along with in the first place. I mean, you said it yourself. You thought the idea that a Democrat would do something like that was so absurd it wasn't even worth commenting on."

Josh cringed. "Oh God, Donna, I'm sorry. I was just shooting my mouth off. I didn't mean…"

"You didn't know it was me you were talking about. I know. But you were right. I mean, can you imagine a presidential debate packed with nutcases like that? I tried to make that happen."

"That doesn't make you responsible for what he did."

She shook her head, unconvinced. "I'm sorry you had to hear about it from Bob Russell. I should have told you; I was just afraid to. I didn't want you to hate me."

He gently traced her lips with his finger. "I could never hate you. You know that."

She shrugged. "Maybe it was just that I hated myself for it, and I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud."

He pulled back slightly and met her eyes. "Don't say that, Donna. It wasn't your fault. You have to let yourself believe that. If you don't…guilt will eat you up inside if you let it. Believe me, I know."

She shuddered and leaned against him. She knew she'd never really believe it hadn't been her fault, any more than Josh would ever believe he hadn't been responsible for what had happened to her in Gaza, or for Joanie's death. But she realized she understood him now in a way she hadn't before. It had crossed her mind once or twice over the past six months that he probably blamed himself for Gaza, but she remembered with a twinge of guilt that she'd almost been annoyed by the thought. I get blown up, and he even makes that about him. But now she understood on a visceral level the agony he must have experienced. Only he'd had to deal with weeks of uncertainty, not hours, she realized. She tried to fathom how she'd have survived if the plane hadn't been found for weeks. Or if Josh had been critically injured and she'd had to endure a second hospital vigil, waiting for word on whether he was going to live. She couldn't imagine being able to take the fear and guilt for that long. It broke her heart to think that was what he had gone through after that roadside bomb had exploded.

Then an awful thought crossed her mind. She pulled back and looked at him. "Josh, you didn't…you didn't think that was why I left, did you? Because you sent me to Gaza?"

"I…" he hesitated. "I mean, I'd have understood if you had."

"Oh Josh." Her heart ached. "I'm sorry. I never should have left the way I did. I didn't mean to…"

"Shh." He kissed her softly. "It doesn't matter anymore."

She leaned against him for a moment. After a moment, she spoke, her voice quiet. "I stopped for red lights."

Josh pulled back in surprise. "What?"

"Do you remember when I told you if you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for red lights?"

He smiled. "Yeah, I remember."

"When I heard about the crash, I just kept working on the campaign. I didn't even…" new tears filled her eyes. "It wasn't because I didn't care, Josh. You have to know that. It was just the opposite. The thought that you might be…it was so awful that I couldn't even stand to think about it. It was easier just to try and pretend it wasn't happening. Or at least I thought it was easier, but apparently it wasn't, considering it led to me pushing the Vice President into a table."

"The Vice President being a world-class asshole led to you pushing him into a table."

She didn't smile. "You checked yourself out of the hospital when you heard I was in trouble – which was incredibly stupid, and you'd better not ever do anything like that again – but you did it. And I didn't even leave the campaign trail." She paused. "I don't deserve you."

"I bet if you took a poll, the majority of respondents would say it was the other way around."

"They'd be wrong."

Josh's response was to bring his mouth to hers for a long, tender kiss. "I love you," he whispered huskily when they finally parted.

"I love you too."

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Josh and Donna were in the cab on the way back to the hotel when they got the news. Bob Russell had done what he could generally be counted on to do: he'd acted in his own best interest. He needed the news cycle about the incident in the hotel to end, and since his attempt to intimidate Donna into giving him some political cover had failed, he'd had no choice but to end it on his own. Donna got a phone call from her attorney, who told her that the Vice President had asked the prosecutor to drop the charges.

"Thank God," Josh commented when she told him

She just nodded, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder.

After a few moments, Josh spoke. "So with that resolved, I see no reason why you can't work on the Santos campaign." He turned to face her. "What do you think?"

She smiled. "I think I can't report to you."

"We'd have you report directly to the congressman."

She thought for a moment. "What you said in that meeting about being a liability…don't you think I'd be a liability on the campaign, given everything? Even with the charges dropped?"

He shook his head. "The only way the media's not going to lose interest in that angle in about 24 hours is if the Russell campaign keeps it alive. And they're not going to do that. They wouldn't be dropping the charges if they didn't want the whole story to go away."

"I don't know."

"Come on. Just tell me what job you want. Believe me, we've got plenty of openings."

She paused. "Will hinted to me a couple times that he thought I'd be a good press secretary. Once I got a little more experience, of course."

"Is that what you wanted to do?"

"It would have been a big promotion."

"That's not what I asked."

She sighed. "I don't know. I mean, I think what I really want to do is…" She paused. "I love learning about the issues, and talking about the issues. That's why I got into politics in the first place. And whenever I started getting too disgusted with Russell's campaign tactics, I'd hole up in my room and study his position papers – which I know he didn't write himself, of course. I think Will wrote most of them, but anyway, I have to admit they were fascinating. And then I'd do more research on my own to decide how much I agreed with his positions. I loved it. It was so much more enjoyable than…you know, doing spin. Which more often than not seems like trying to find ways to lie to the press without actually lying, if you know what I mean."

"It sounds like you learned a lot from him," Josh commented, his voice slightly wistful.

She smiled at him. "I did. But it really wasn't anything I wasn't used to doing already. I did quite a bit of research for you too, if you remember."

He returned her smile. "I remember."

"Not to mention driving you crazy arguing with you about every Bartlet policy that came along that I didn't think I agreed with."

"That didn't drive me crazy," he insisted. "I loved those arguments. I loved winning those arguments," he added with a smirk.

"Oh, that's how you remember it, is it?" she retorted, but couldn't help gazing at him affectionately.

Josh pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Issues director, then. What do you say?"

She felt a sudden wave of nervousness at the title. It sounded like a huge responsibility, even if it was for a campaign considerably smaller than the Vice President's. "You really think I'm ready for that?"

"I know you are."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek, making her decision. "Okay, then."

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When Josh and Donna arrived at the hotel and went up to the congressman's suite, they were surprised to discover him deep in conversation with Will Bailey.

"What are you doing here?" Donna demanded reflexively. She hoped she hadn't sounded hostile.

Will shrugged. "Applying for a job, I guess."

She sat down next to him. "Yeah, I heard. I can't believe Russell fired you."

Will looked at her in confusion and then laughed. "Is that what he told you? I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"What do you mean?"

"I quit, Donna. I couldn't keep working for him after what he did to you. And after…you know." He paused. "I told the congressman about Peter Burton."

Donna felt a now-familiar sick feeling in her stomach. "I'm so sorry, sir," she said, turning to the congressman. "I feel awful about…what happened."

Matt shook his head. "I can't say I'm impressed with Bob Russell's campaign tactics, but it doesn't make you guys responsible for what that man did."

"Donna knew the whole strategy stunk," Will told him. "She tried to tell me. I didn't listen. Mainly because I knew she was right, but I also knew it was what the Vice President wanted and I had to follow through on it."

"Russell's a piece of work, all right," Josh commented.

"We were talking about communications director for Will," Matt changed the subject. "What do you think, Josh?"

"Sounds good." He glanced at Will. "Nice title, but don't get your hopes up about the salary."

"Hey, I ran a campaign for a dead guy not so long ago. And believe me, right about now I'm missing it. After my run-in with Bingo Bob, I'm happy to go back to being a low-paid, idealistic campaign worker."

"Sounds like you've found the right campaign, then."

Will turned to Donna. "How are you holding up?"

She sighed. "Okay. My lawyer called. Russell's asking for the charges to be dropped. I guess the media talking about 'self-defense' must have freaked him out."

"Yeah, I would imagine."

Something about the way Will said that got Donna's attention. She looked at him curiously. "We never did figure out who gave the self-defense story to the media."

"Yeah, I don't know." Will didn't look at her.

Her eyes widened. "It was you, wasn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come on, Will."

"Okay, so I may have mentioned on background to a reporter that based on my conversations with the Vice President, I thought it was likely that you'd probably make a self-defense case."

"You didn't," Josh stared at him in amazement. He couldn't help but have some doubts about the ethics of using information gained working on someone's campaign to damage that candidate, no matter how sleazy the candidate turned out to be. On the other hand, he was thankful Will had done what he had, and if anyone deserved to have his staffers turn on him, it was Bob Russell.

"I couldn't let him get away with what he'd done. I told him he should drop the charges, that it was the smartest thing for his campaign, but I couldn't be sure he would listen. So I helped him along."

"Thank you," Donna gave Will a friendly kiss on the cheek, causing him to flush slightly.

"Thanks," Josh agreed, sitting down across from them. He paused and added, "I'm not going to kiss you, but thanks."