Break your little heart
Chapter 8 – I need your smile coz in so alone
In a second by Aly and Aj
Don't know where you are
Wish I just could be near you
I would sail oceans
To get a glimpse of how you feel
You're all the things I'm looking For everything and so much more
What I think
You are just perfect
Could it be
That I am worth it
Is this thing an open door
Walk right through to something more
You and me
My life would change in a second
In a second
Don't know how you feel
You seem to keep it to yourself
Would you climb mountains
To show me this is something real
You're all the things I'm looking For everything and so much more
What I think
You are just perfect
Could it be
That I am worth it
Is this thing an open door
Walk right through to something more
You and me
My life would change in a second
In a second
Could it be
Could it be
You and me
You and me
Do I see
Do I see
Clearly
What I think
You are just perfect
Could it be
That I am worth it
Is this thing an open door
Walk right through to something more
What I think
You are just perfect
Could it be
That I am worth it
Is this thing an open door
Walk right through to something more
You and me
My life would change in a second
In a second
Alice Pov
"What have I done?" I whispered into the night as I stood in my room looking out of the window down into the garden. I'd pulled it open letting the cold air in and now I leaned out letting the wind blow my hair around wildly as tears streaked down my face quietly.
As I thought my decision over my eyes kept flicking towards the tree the covered the sky blue fence post. It didn't feel right to be fighting with Bella, after over around 10 years and not one fight, sticking up for each other and vowing that we'd never fight we were experiencing our first fight.
My thoughts slipped back to better times. It was when Bella and I were about 9 and we were sitting around drinking lemon lime and bitters and mountain dew just talking when suddenly Bella stood up knocking her chair over in the process.
"I propose a toast," she said holding up her glass. I held up mine and remained seated.
"No guy shall ever come between us, we'll stand up for each other and never fight," she said loudly and then lowering her voice a little she whispered "Best friends," and as we clinked glasses.
I added "Forever and always," and since then that become our promise, and our thing.
"Best friends, forever and always," I whispered bitterly coming out of my thoughts.
"We sure screwed it up Bells, we sure screwed it up." I whispered and walked away leaving my curtains billowing in the wind.
Bella Pov
"Alice, I'm so sorry I didn't mean it please forgive me?" I asked my mirror.
In her absence I had completely covered one of the walls in the spare room with photos. Most of us too, but I had to have others otherwise it'd only be half a wall. I put a mirror in the centre, one that Alice and I had painted when we were little.
We had gone through a phase of purple so it was purple with white paint flicked across it. Engraved and painted in bright yellow were the words Alice and Bella the bestest of friends. I smiled at it but soon sobered as I stood there.
"Forever and always," I whispered and I felt tears slide down my cheeks.
I walked over to my bed and laid down, staring desperately at my ceiling like it held all the answers. I picked up, my phone and stared at the empty screen revealing I had no messages. I was at a loss of what to do. My new unbroken phone had no pictures of Alice and I but one, my screensaver. I clicked the phones unlock button and stared at us smiling and pulling faces and being down right stupid. I sighed and stood walking over to a cupboard and where I knew a box of all our old stuff lay.
It took my half an hour to locate the dusty box and when I finally did it took another half an hour to drag it from its hiding spot and into the middle of my floor. I knelt down dusting it off and coughing as the dust blew into my face form the open window.
I peeled away the tape and started looking through it. I must have pulled out over 50 objects before I pulled out a small bear that Alice and I had made at a factory. I grinned and hugged it as I cried.
I don't remember lying down or falling asleep but I must have because the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake by Esme.
"Ali?" I whispered and my voice broke into a croak. "
Sorry Hun, it's me, its dinner and it's getting cold, you wouldn't come down so I thought I should check on you," Esme whispered.
"Oh," I said looking around me at all Alice and I's forgotten items. Esme sat next to me and smiled looking around.
"You have been busy," Esme said.
"I miss her so much," was all I said in response.
"She misses you to, you know, I can hear her cry herself to sleep" Esme said.
"She hates me," I whispered and started sobbing.
"No she doesn't, remember you'll be best friends," Esme said looking at me intently.
"Forever and always" I finished.
"Do you think shell forgive me?" I asked.
"Yes, give her another day and she'll come to her senses," Esme said standing up and walking to the door.
"I offered her the kid," I said quietly and I heard Esme's footsteps stop. I looked up to see her standing in the doorway a mixture of shock and confusion on her face.
"I'm Pregnant," I confirmed looking disdainfully at my stomach.
"That's wonderful Bella, have you told the father?" She asked coming back into the room and bending down so she could hug me. She kissed both cheeks and smiled at me.
"No. I'm afraid he'll run, and anyway the night Alice and I had a fight I think she went and told him and he won't talk to me so I guess he has run," I said.
"I'll be here for you honey and I'm sure as soon as you talk to Alice she'll come around," Esme said softly.
"Now wash up and I'll see you down at dinner, I'll make sure Alice is there as well," she said.
"Thanks," I whispered but she had already disappeared and as I listened to her footsteps fade away I knew she was right, I had to make amends with Alice because if I had no friends and I could barely look after myself I'd need all the help I could get to bring up a kid.
I twirled my spaghetti around my fork dreading the conversation to come.
"Excuse me girls," Esme said and I knew this was it.
"Alice I'm so sorry," I whispered looking down. She was silent and when I looked up I could see she was crying. She wiped her tears away angrily and sniffed.
"I didn't mean it like that the offer was a spur of the moment thing and I didn't know what I was saying or thinking, and I was a sleep deprived, horrid, selfish to-be-mother and I know I'll be terrible and looking at you, you're so confident and smart and you'd be a perfect mother so I just offered and I'm so so so so," I continued.
"Bella stop," she said in exasperation. I shut-up immediately and looked up at her as tears slid down both our cheeks in silent grief.
"I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, we both over reacted and besides I want my best friend back," she said and smiled.
I stood up and we both hugged. I held onto her tightly.
"Best friends," I whispered.
"Forever and always," she said and we both laughed as we cried, whether in grief, despair or happiness I have no idea but I had my best friend back and now I had to tell Edward, which I knew wouldn't be as easy and clean as it had with Ali. I let Alice go and she turned around leaving her half finished dinner.
What?" I asked but decided to just follow instead.
She walked into my room and laughed, "Christ Bella, you must have been miserable to do that," Alice said motioning around us. We both grinned taking in the messy floor with all our old stuff and the wall covered in photos.
"We can clean up later, let's just mover you stuff back into my room," Alice said picking up my pillow. I grinned and picked up my stuff leaving our old belongings scattered around.
"It's ok Alice, you did what I was too afraid to, you told him the truth," I said smiling down at my friend.
"But he hasn't called or spoken to you since, he's running and we need to make a plan to show him just how much you guys need each other, how much you need him," she said and I saw her eyes twinkle as she thought of something.
"And just how much do I need him?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Come on we both know you like him and you'll need help with the kid, you said so yourself," she said but I saw she was covering something up and that speech was an improvisation.
"Whatever, I have you to do the shopping," I said grinning and I saw Alice's eyes light up as she started clapping.
"Oh my god this is great, is it a boy or a girl, do you think green or yellow, oh my god we have so little time to prepare, of course you'll have to move in here because there's no room at Charlie's," Alice said standing up and pacing.
"Alice we have like 6 or 7 months and move in, that's a bit drastic don't you think?" I said watching her walk back and forth.
"No Bella, we can make one of the spare rooms a baby room, Esme will love to help she loves interior designing, wait have you told her?" Alice stopped pacing and spun around to look at me.
"Yeah like 40 minutes ago though," I said.
"Really? Huh," Alice muttered before shouting at the top of her lungs. "MUM come here it's about Bella." I heard footsteps and then I saw Esme's face appear in the doorway. She stepped inside and shut the door.
"What's up, and couldn't you have just walked downstairs like a normal person rather than being freakishly loud?" Esme said grinning.
"Bella's gunna move in and I was thinking you could help us make the spare room down the hall a baby room, because we have another spare one downstairs," Alice said in one breath.
"That's wonderful, is it a boy or a girl, what colours do you think?" Esme started.
"Great now there both in their elements," I muttered. "I'm gunna go watch a movie you two can discuss it and do what you think, surprise me I'm sure ill love it," I said and walked out before they could say anything.
I heard them discussing it for about three hours after that and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't concentrate on the movie. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, lying awkwardly on the couch.
"Bella, Bella wake up," I heard Alice's annoying voice say.
"Go way," I mumbled.
"Bella you've been sleeping for 13 hours, get up," Alice said shaking me.
"Go away," I mumbled drifting back to sleep.
"No Bella, get up," Alice said and I suddenly felt the bed tip. I landed on the floor with a thump and blinked up at Alice who had the couch tipped up.
"No fair," I whispered rubbing my back.
"Good your awake, I've only been trying this past 15 minutes," she said and looked at me expectantly. I stood up still rubbing my lower back.
"That hurt," I mumbled.
"Good, now go shower it's like 11 or something and you went to sleep ages ago."
"11 in the morning are you crazy?" I asked in horror.
"Just go shower, breakfast is in 20 minutes," she said in exasperation and walked into the kitchen.
When I walked into the kitchen and sat down a plate with two pieces of toast and marmalade with a hot chocolate was placed in front of me.
"Mmm," I whispered and took a bite.
"Why'd I have to get up anyway, it's not like we're doing anything," I mumbled between bites of my toast. Alice took a bite of her croissant and smiled at me with fake innocence. Esme walked in at that moment and looked between us.
"Where shopping for the baby's room today and I booked you in for an ultra-sound at 12.30 because I thought you'd like to see," Esme said.
"What?" I said looking from Esme to Alice. Esme looked happy and thrilled and Alice was just smirking having surprised me.
Bella Pov
"Come on Alice we've been shopping for ages," I whined.
"Bella stop whining," Alice shouted from in-front of me. I dragged my feet along the floor and slowly followed her into shop after shop. Esme smiled sympathetically at me from over her shoulder, and I gave a weak smile in means of return.
"Let's have lunch," she whispered to Alice. I perked up at this.
"Fine," Alice grumbled.
"Thanks," I whispered so only Esme could hear.
"No problem kiddo, you look exhausted, bored and tired," she whispered back.
"Tick all of the above and add grumpy," I whispered and she let out a muffled laugh which she tried to cover with a cough. I laughed openly as Alice glared at us suspicious.
Esme squeezed my arm before saying, "How about Yum Cha I believe it's still open for a couple of hours," she said.
Alice made a face. "We had that last time," she said.
"What about Oporto? It's fatty, greasy, and unhealthy" I started.
"Perfect," Alice cut in. I shrugged as Esme raised her eyebrows. Alice grabbed me by the arm and dragged me over to the line. She ordered for everyone as Esme went and found a seat and finally when I got to join her it was heavenly.
"Man these chairs are uncomfortable," Alice said wriggling in her seat.
"Yeah but it beats standing and walking round all day," I mumbled taking a bite of my wrap. Alice and Esme picked at their fries.
"No it doesn't," I heard Alice mutter. I laughed softly, Ali poked her tongue out and that just made me laugh harder. Esme laughed a bit as well.
Soon the moment was over though, and I was back on my feet trudging sullenly around the shops. "Cheer up Bella, think of the positive," Alice said skipping ahead.
"Like what?" I muttered.
"Well you don't have to… Oh my God, I just found you the perfect dress," Alice squealed.
"That's not a positive," I grumbled.
"Yes it is Hun," Alice said and ran into the store. Esme rolled her eyes in Alice's direction.
"Can I just subtly sneak to the car?" I asked Esme.
"No, don't even think about it Bella, I just found your size," Alice yelled.
"Yay," I muttered sarcastically before walking grudgingly into the store to find my crazy friend.
About 50 shopping bags later we were piled into the car and were on our way home. I rubbed my feet that I swore were about to fall off.
"Stop being a drama queen," Alice said. I poked my tongue out at her.
"Very mature," she commented.
"Says someone who does it at least once a day," I muttered.
"Yeah but that's me," She responded. I rolled my eyes and continued rubbing my sore feet.
Jasper Pov
I quietly opened the door to Edward's room and saw him lying on the bed staring at the ceiling with headphones plugged into his ears. He was so deep in thought that he didn't even notice me.
I sighed and pulled the door closed. I had to do something about this, he had been acting this way for the past few days now and it was starting to freak me out. He wouldn't call Bella, he wouldn't eat, and he barely even left his room. I know that he was disappointed that Bella hadn't told him herself and that confused him about if she even wanted him to have any part in the up bring of their child.
Alice had been calling me every day since Bella and her had had the fight, she missed her and had sometimes even broken down completely.
A vibration in my pocket soon brought me out of my train of thought and I looked down to see Alice's name flashing on the screen. I quickly pressed the green button and put the phone to my ear.
"Hey Ali"
"JASPER" Alice yelled into her phone.
"Wow, happier the usual, have you finally made up with Bella?"
"Yes how did you know?"
"Just a guess, Hun"
"Anyway Jazz we need to get Bella and Edward to talk, I know she wants to talk to him she's just scared his going to run, and even suspects that he already has.
"Hmm," I said thinking about what she had just said.
"What, do you mean 'hmm' has he left? Has he run?" Alice's voice rose, misunderstanding my action.
"No, no, no I was just thinking and yeah I agree we need to get them to talk really soon Edward is becoming depressed."
"Well I've got a plan"
I laughed "Knew you would, you little master mind"
Alice giggled "Well it isn't that complicated so don't worry, just convince Edward to come clubbing with you tonight, and I'll do the same with Bella. I'll meet you at 8 O'clock at the _.
"Awesome, we'll be there."
"OK, Ali I'll see you tomorrow, can't wait,"
"Yeah me too, bye."
I slipped my phone into my pocket and walking in to Edward's room.
"Get up! We're going out,"
Alice pov
I got off the phone and smiled sadly, I wish I could just tell jasper I liked him, that's what I had done with all the other guys but he seemed different. With a jolt I realized what the difference was and it was so obvious it astounded me.
I think I was in love with Jasper. I looked at the phone and smiled to myself, then I sighed, it was going to be hard to get Bella to come clubbing. I started up the stairs thinking of devious ways to get her to come with me. I didn't realize until I crashed into her that I had reached the door.
"Whoa watch it ya little midget," she said grinning.
I poked my tongue out at her and pushed past leaving her standing in the doorframe. "Were going out tonight, to celebrate being friends again," I said.
It was kinda true anyway I guess. "Ok where are we going?" Bella said looking at me.
I stood up and walked over to my dresser and pulled out the chair smiling and looking at all the makeup around me. I patted the seat and said two words.
"You'll see," and it was just that easy.
Bella Pov.
"Seriously Alice where are you taking me?" I asked for the millionth time.
"You'll see, I'm not going to tell you, am I," she responded, just like the last 50 times.
"No fair, and why do I have to wear this stupid dress that you bought today, it's totally barbaric," I muttered.
"Because it looks good, it's stylish and," she started to say.
"Then why don't you wear it?" I cut in.
"Because it doesn't look good on me, duh," Alice said in exasperation, like I should already know this.
I groaned in exasperation and glared down at the dress. It was a strapless purple dress that ended around my thighs. There was a silk black bow around the middle that rested just beneath my chest and it had black lace across the top and around the bottom. I was wearing black flats as well as dark Smokey eyed make-up.
"What have I gotten myself into," I moaned putting my hands glumly in my lap at turning my glare to the window.
"Cheer up you'll have fun," Alice said and the rest of the trip was silent.
"No," I said as I stared at the clubs long line.
"Ah Yes," Alice said grabbing my arm and dragging me over to the bouncer.
"Hey Chris, our friends are in there and this one needs one hell of a night," Alice said grinning.
"Go on in, they arrived early," he said and I watched the crowd go into uproar as we entered.
"I hate you I should go back to ignoring you," I said looking around.
"Now where's the fun in that," she asked and dragged me over to a spare seat. She started randomly talking to the guy next to her but I didn't look closely I just turned away and ordered a drink.
After my 3rd orange juice I was at the bar alone, I had the feeling people were avoiding me because of my drink chose and I sighed when I realized this would be happening for the next _.
I turned to Alice to find her standing up with an all too familiar guy.
"Hello Jasper," I said politely.
"Bella," he said nodding his head.
"He's here isn't he," I said piecing it together.
"You're a smart one," He said and then Alice dragged him away as I felt a cool hand tap on my bare shoulder.
I looked up to meet his emerald eyes and I was about to smile when I saw the hurt, betrayal and anger written plain across his open face, like a book that I was reading for the millionth time.
"Hey Edward," I managed to stutter.
"Why?" he asked and I heard the hurt in his voice. It was like a slap.
"I was too afraid you'd run, and I don't really think this is the place to talk about this," I muttered.
"Well let's go because I'm dying to have this conversation," he said angrily. I stood up briskly leaving my half finished juice behind as I lead the way out of the club and up the seaside cliff.
Jasper Pov
Alice intertwined her fingers with mine and led me to the dance floor. She drapped her hands around my neck and I wrapped my arms around her waist, we swayed slowly to the music a comfortable silence lying between us.
She rested her head on my shoulder and quietly muttered, "Do you think they'll work it out? Bella and Edward I mean,"
"I'm not sure, but I hope so, he loves her and his wanted to start a family for so long now."
"Well I think this is the moment of truth then," Alice said lifting her head from my shoulder and nodding towards the door that Edward and Bella just want through.
"Should we follow them, just to make sure they don't do anything to drastic," I asked.
Without a response Alice caught hold of my hand and pulled me towards the door.
We got outside the club and watched as Edward and Bella made their way up the cliff, we stopped at the base of the cliff and stood there trying to hear something.
There was angry yells coming from both parties and then there was silence, not a thing was heard for a few seconds, until we heard running footsteps and a figer sprinting down the hill.
Bella Pov
I stopped just in front of the cliff and looked down. I watched the wave's crash against the rocks and I listened to the slow rhythmic sound that the ocean created. I sighed and turned to face Edward. He was standing just a little off from wear I was standing.
"I was so afraid that you'd run, that this kid would ruin your future and that you'd be ashamed to be with me," I whispered.
"Why the fuck would I do that!" he screamed. I flinched.
"Edward you told me yourself, you want to go to med school so you can because a surgeon or nurse or doctor or whatever, if you were to be in this Child's life you wouldn't be able to take that scholarship because I'd need you here, your dream would go nowhere until I could take care of the baby by myself and even Alice helping I'd still need you if you chose this life!" I shouted back.
"If I choose," he stuttered. "You know nothing, nothing about what my dreams are!" he shouted.
"Working in the hospital with little kids was going to be my job because my dream since I was a child was to have a family, to spoil a little girl that's my dream, working and helping kids as a job is just an added bonus!" He yelled.
"You can still be a part of the family, it's not too late, but it's going to be a little boy," I said taking a step forward.
"You got an ultra sound," he yelled furiously.
"No Esme and Alice booked me in but I refused to go," I said taking a step back and slipping.
The next thing I knew Edward had his hands round my wrists and he was pulling me up. "You fucking idiot are you crazy!" he shouted. I was shaking from fright.
"Sorry," he said again. I remained frozen.
"Bella?" Edward asked worry creeping into his tone as he lowered his voice and looked at me.
"Bella?" he repeated and I knew I had to reply but I couldn't, I was frozen.
"Shit," he muttered and then I was in his arms and he was running down the cliff.
Edward pov.
I ran down the cliff a million things running around in my mind.
Bella, Bella, Bella, it whispered in time with my pounding heart and my feet smashing against the dirt as I ran. I immediately spotted Alice and Jasper who were at the bottom of the cliff. I saw the worry on their faces as they took in the sight of me holding Bella.
"What happened" Alice demanded as we all started to run towards the car. Jasper was on my other side immediately.
"Start the car," I commanded when we reached it, I didn't answer the question.
Alice was in the car and it was purring to life before I could even start walking. As soon as we were all in Alice was speeding down the road.
"Hospital," I said. I had Bella still in my arms, she was pale and still and as I looked into her beautiful eyes that were so filled with fright I knew I had caused it. I had yelled and scared her which had caused her to step back.
My fault my mind whispered. Tears had started leaking down my face as I held her. I rested my hand against her heart and then slid it down to her stomach where a little child was.
It was probably dead because of the state Bella was in. I don't know when I started crying but I know when I stopped and it was a moment I'll never forget.
My hand was still on Bella's stomach when I felt the smallest of nudges.
"Oh god," I whispered.
"What?" Alice demanded.
"She's kicking," I whispered in amazement.
"Congrates man," Jasper said. We reached the hospital and I ran inside. Within an instant the emergency units were surroundings us and Bella was being Peddled in to see Alice's dad Carlisle.
I was sitting in the hall outside the room when Carlisle came out. My head was in my hands and my face was streaked with tears that I couldn't care to wipe away.
"Is she-" I asked.
"She's fine, she's asking for you," he said and without another word he walked away.
"Go on then," Alice said. I got up and walked into the room closing the door softly behind us.
"The baby's fine," she said smiling up at me.
"Are you? I was so worried," he said.
"I'm fine," she said looking down.
"I didn't look at the ultra sound, I wanted a surprise, and Carlisle said that we've got something coming and that its gunna be a handful," she said and I saw she was tired as she fluttered her eyes.
"Well we'll tackle it together as a Family," I said as she closed her eyes.
"Thank you Edward," she said trailing off so it came out more like "Tank ou edwa."
"No problem," I whispered to her sleeping form as I took her hand in mine and rested my head on the pillow beside hers ( AN …he's already sitting in a chair)and as much as I was thinking about Bella and being a father there was something familiar about Carlisle that I just couldn't place.
So so so sorry for not updating in ages. My friends who doing the fabulous jasper povs and editing got her computer fried so she couldn't write as quickly as she would have liked : ) and then when the chapter was finally complete I had to get myself grounded and banned from the computer : (
so sorry for those who are still reading I love reviews so please review it makes me update faster
tegan xx
Preview
It had been a week since Bella had gotten out of hospital so naturally we were all fussing over her, well Alice was. Bella had convinced me that after being kept in hospital for a few days then coming home and being babied was simply barbaric and that we should all leave her alone, so naturally Alice did the only thing she knew, the complete opposite of what Bella wanted.