Sheldon
Sheldon wasn't sure what was happening to him. In less than twenty-four hours he seemed to have lost control of his baser urges. No amount of Kolinahr implementation seemed to make a difference.
Every time he had looked at Amy over dinner and throughout their conversation his arrhythmia had returned and he had again found himself with the urge to touch her hair. He had even found himself looking at her lips on several occasions, remembering the evening she had kissed him. It was maddening.
When Amy had stood up and turned to Raj for the dance, Sheldon had felt a sensation he supposed other lesser people might call jealousy. Before he had given proper thought to his actions, he had grabbed Amy's hand and pulled her to the dance floor. Rather than admit that his actions had been acted on impulse, he had told Amy that he thought it was completely reasonable that they should be dancing together. And it was of course.
Throughout the first part of the dance he had again tried to work on repressing his emotions. He refused to think about the fact that Amy was so close. And really it was ridiculous. Thanks to Amy, they cuddled on a regular basis. It was hardly the first time he had been close to her. Despite his good intentions to repress any and all feelings, complete the dance, and move on with his life, his eyes had continually been drawn in the downward direction of Amy. What sorcery had she employed to make him respond this way? It was Penny's fault he had decided. He could not see Amy doing this to herself of her own volition. She was too practical. And that's how Sheldon liked Amy. Practical. He determined he would talk to Penny about this, as it was her fault that he was feeling attracted to Amy. Yes. And then he had gone back to pretending such emotions didn't exist within his mind.
Then Raj and Cynthia had blundered by and he had been forced to draw Amy against his body to avoid an unsightly dancing crash. Of course he had intended to let her go back to her original dancing position, but instead his arms had locked. He had been keenly aware that she was pressed up against him. Yet again he had reminded himself that it was hardly the first time. But a niggling voice in his head had recalled that it was usually the side of Amy or the back of Amy that was touching him, never the…curvy parts in front. This was all Raj's fault of course. He would have to have a talk with him about this.
He had looked down at Amy, who had looked up at him a moment later, and he had felt yet another increase in his tachycardia, arrhythmia, shortness of breath. They had continued dancing and Sheldon had continued ruing Penny and Raj for putting him in this position. And then the strangest thing had happened. He had realized that he was looking at Amy's lips and yet again thinking about her kiss some weeks before. Luckily at that point the song had reached its end so he had sent Amy out in a spin and then had dipped her. He hadn't been sure what possessed him to dip her, but in the dip he had momentarily forgotten his anger, while looking into her eyes. Then he had quickly remembered where he was and had brought Amy upright.
She had started to move back towards their table, but again before Sheldon quite knew what he was doing he had pulled her back close for another dance. During this dance she had looked straight at him the entire time. He had refused to show weakness (not that he had been feeling any of course) and had returned her stare for the entirety of the dance. By the end he had found himself quite breathless, but had deduced that it was due to the physical exertion.
And now, here he was, in Amy's apartment. How did he get here? What had possessed him to agree to come inside, when what he should be doing is going home with Leonard and going to bed. He had found the entire day extremely taxing. He wondered how people like Penny could handle the exhaustion of letting your emotions rule you.
And yet, here he was, not riding home with Leonard, but standing awkwardly next to the couch. Amy had gone into her bedroom to change out of her dress. He hoped that when she returned she would look like her old self again.
When she walked back, he saw that, while she had indeed taken out her contacts and changed into her pajamas, that she had left her hair and makeup. He felt his stomach drop at the sight of her. Curses. He could not figure out why his Kolinahr was failing him.
"Sheldon, would you like a beverage?"
"Yes please. Water will be fine."
Amy looked at him standing there and said "Sheldon, why are you standing there?"
"Because…I was worried about wrinkling my jacket…"
Amy raised her eyebrows in confusion. "Why don't you just take it off?"
"Oh…yes…of course." Sheldon removed his jacket, put it over the back of a chair, and sat down on the edge of the couch.
Amy brought him his water and sat down next to him. "Sheldon?" He looked at her. "Do you mind if we cuddle?"
Yes, he thought. But according to the Relationship Agreement he was essentially obligated to say "No." He really should adapt that so that it was easier to decline. What had he been thinking?
He leaned back against couch and Amy curled up against him and closed her eyes. He felt trapped. No. He did not like this at all. He was determined to make an appointment with his cardiologist. The shear amount of tachycardia he has been presenting with cannot be normal, attraction or no.
He looked down at Amy's head with a frown, irritated at being put in such a position by a female, even if she was brilliant. But his thoughts were momentarily displaced when he found his hand reaching up slowly to wind one of her curls around his finger. It was a fascinating feeling. Her hair was very soft, even with the layer of polymers keeping the curls in place. He felt Amy stiffen and froze himself.
She turned her head up to look at him in confusion.
"Are you twirling my hair with your fingers?"
This was all Penny's fault. And Amy's. How could she let herself be coerced? How could she let Penny talk her into curls, and eye makeup that made her eyes look bigger and greener, and pink shiny liquid on her lips. It was their fault that Sheldon was staring at Amy's lips. Not his fault.
"Sheldon?" Amy's lips parted as she inhaled and Sheldon felt his stomach do, what can only be described as, summersaults. He couldn't take his eyes off her lips. His mind blanked.
Before he realized what he was doing, he lowered his head and pressed his lips against her shiny pink ones. He felt Amy stiffen and he broke off the kiss, pulling his head back sharply.
Dear Lord, what had possessed him to do that? He looked at Amy, who had her eyes opened wide in shock. He looked forward, unsure how to proceed. Amy sat up and he could see her looking at him from the corner of his eye.
"Sheldon…why did you do that?"
He looked over at her, unsure how to respond. His mind had blanked on him again. What was wrong with him? Was this how stupid people felt all day? He was beginning to feel some compassion towards them…only temporary he was sure.
"Sheldon…? Answer the question."
He thought about lying, but couldn't come up with a viable excuse. And anyway, he was no good at lying. He thought about telling the truth. He didn't want to tell Amy the truth. He didn't want to tell himself the truth. Maybe if he pretended the truth didn't exist, it would go away.
But Amy was still waiting for an answer. No. He decided he wasn't going to answer, and turned back to face the front again.
"Sheldon!"
Sheldon looked over at her. She was frowning. Why was she frowning?
"Why did you do that? Why did you kiss me? I want an answer."
He felt backed into a corner. He hated when Amy did that. He thought through his options again, and ultimately came to the unfortunate conclusion that he would have to answer her question.
He cleared his throat. "Because I wanted to."
"You wanted to kiss me?" Amy had a look of shock on her face.
He looked at her sharply. "Don't make me say it again."
Amy was now the one to turn to the front. She sat there a few moments and Sheldon watched her, still mesmerized by her hair. No, not mesmerized. "Mesmerized" is a term that only romantic fools use. He merely found the particular pattern created by the bonding of the sulfur atoms in Amy's hair interesting.
He was a little startled when she turned back abruptly.
"Sheldon. I want to ask you something."
He eyed her wearily. "Yes?"
"Would you kiss me again?"
He wanted to say, No absolutely not. I will never again kiss you, because the first time was an accident caused by my apparent lack of discipline in the area of emotion control. But what he said instead was "Ok." Why had he said ok? And why was he now once again staring at her lips?
They sat there for a moment, neither one sure what move to make next. Amy first moved closer to him. He merely looked at her eyes. And that stupid curl down the side of her face. He hated that curl. That curl was the cause of all this. If that curl hadn't been there, he would never have been put in this position.
He felt his hand reach out to touch the offending curl. Then his hand cupped Amy's cheek. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth was open slightly, due to her increased respiratory rate. Come to think of it, his respiratory rate was also greatly increased. His other hand came up to cup the other cheek. Having only one hand on her cheek had felt asymmetrical. And having both hands on Amy's face made him feel as if he had some measure of control.
They stared at each other for a few moments. Sheldon once again found himself staring at her lips, listening to her breath in and out. And also once again, before he knew what was happening, he was pressing his lips against hers. It was, now that he really thought about it, a truly fascinating experience. He found himself enjoying the softness of her lips against his. He was again the one who broke the kiss, but this time he pulled back slowly, opening his eyes equally as slowly.
He dropped his hands from Amy's face and sat back. She still had her eyes closed. Why were her eyes still closed? After a few moments she opened her eyes to look at Sheldon. It made him uncomfortable, the way she smiled at him.
Neither one said anything and eventually Amy settled back down to cuddle, all the while smiling. Sheldon, on the other hand, was thoroughly confused. This time it was his own actions that were confusing him. Since Amy seemed content to keep their silence, he had time to think.
Just what was happening to him? He had kissed Amy Farrah Fowler…twice…of his own volition! And he wasn't repulsed. In fact, it only now occurred to him that he would need to disinfect his mouth. But even that thought didn't bother him. What was happening to him? It was baffling. He wasn't sure he wanted to ponder it right now. It was too much to think about. He was tired. He would think about the repercussions and how to deal with them tomorrow.
He glanced down at Amy and realized she was asleep. He sighed. Now he would have to stay at Amy's tonight. He supposed he could wake her up, but he was loath to do so. He slowly extracted himself from underneath her, got her a pillow and blanket, and tucked her in. He would sleep in her bed. It was the least she could do after completely ruining his carefully structured life.
A/N: Thanks again for reading! Please review! I do this purely for the pleasure of the ego boost I get when you review. If you wish me to continue the story then please let me know, or I will start assuming that the 24 people who are on my story alerts are there reading for the purpose of laughing at me and my stupid story. ;) (I'm only mostly kidding.)