Lioness Tales
Tale 1: Njano's Secret
Chapter 14: A Somber Future
Njano sat on her own by the edge of the waterhole. She was soaking wet, after taking a plunge in the cold water; Erevu had ordered her to wash his scent off her.
Her mind kept going over what just happened, while she tried to dry herself as much as she could with her tongue.
Erevu had been very clear in stating that the decision came down to her and her only. He was not forcing her to do anything. He simply reminded her how she had asked whether there was something else she could do that the other lionesses couldn't or wouldn't, and this was it.
Njano kept repeating to herself that it was all worth it, just to stay by Kanai's side, and in the end she had agreed to Erevu's terms.
It all took less than a minute, but mating for the first time, and outside her season, resulted in an extremely painful experience for Njano, and she couldn't help crying from pain when Erevu was done.
He had done nothing to comfort her, he simply tended to himself and told her to go wash herself.
Her only consolation was that when Erevu had gotten what he wanted from her and decided to return to the lair, he told her he was very pleased and he would consider her proposal, and would let her know of his decision.
The lioness took a deep breath and shook the excess water off her pelt. She knew Duni must be worried sick, so she stood up reluctantly, and made her way back to the lair. She could already see Duni pacing back and forth in the distance, sniffing the air intently, while Safi tried to reassure her. Njano quickened her pace and went to meet her.
Duni sighed in relief when she heard Njano approaching. "There you are! I was so worried, where were you all this time?"
"I told you, I went to have a talk with Erevu..."
"Yes, but he returned quite a while ago already."
"I went for a quick swim afterwards. Sorry, I didn't mean to get you all worked up."
Duni nuzzled Njano, and noticed that her fur was still very moist in some places. "C'mon, lie down, let me dry you up a bit more."
Njano lay down in front of Duni, who then started grooming her ears and neck. Safi also lay down further away, staring distractedly in their direction. Njano looked away and winced as Duni's rough tongue brushed against her nape, which was still sensitive from her encounter with Erevu. She pulled away slightly.
Duni didn't notice and just carried on grooming for a while, but in the end curiosity got the best of her and whispered, "So... What did he say?"
"We had a long talk about why I thought I'd be useful to the Pride, so I spent some time trying to convince him of my abilities. He said he would think about it, so I guess all I can do now is wait."
Duni listened intently. "Sounds like it went better than I thought... I honestly thought he'd immediately send you away with a bite and a snarl."
Njano faked a chuckle. "Yeah... I guess I was worth his time, after all."
Duni could pick on the fact that Njano was not very happy at the moment, and she had the feeling that she was not being totally honest with her.
"Would you like to take a walk with me and talk about this some more?" she offered.
Njano looked at her, completely sure that Duni already suspected something was not right. While she was dying to confide in her and to be comforted, Njano shook her head in the end. "No, no, it's okay, mom. Sorry if I seem kinda gloomy... I was just hoping I'd hear his decision right away. Now I have no idea how long I have to wait..."
Duni nodded understandingly. "The uncertainty must be killing you..."
They both remained quiet for a while, while Njano glanced around, trying to locate Kanai. She couldn't see her anywhere.
"I wonder where Kanai is, I suppose you wouldn't know?" Njano asked after a while.
"She was playing with the cubs earlier, and then Imara invited her to go for a walk, that's all I know."
"Oh..." Njano replied, looking around again and confirming that Imara was nowhere to be seen either.
The lioness curled up into a ball, while Duni continued grooming her.
"I was wondering, sweetie... Have you already told Kanai how you feel?" Duni whispered, but Njano pretended to be asleep to avoid the question.
Duni stopped grooming Njano, seeing no response from her daughter except for a slight shiver every now and then. She cuddled her instead, to try and give her some warmth.
"Only you're crazy enough to go for a swim at this time of night, you'll be chilled to the bone in no time, silly thing," Duni said softly, chuckling slightly.
Njano closed her eyes tight and concentrated on trying to catch some sleep for real. She started drifting into a light sleep once Duni's warmth spread on to her, making Njano feel nice and cozy, but she was awakened when Kanai and Imara returned from their walk.
"Anyway, it's been fun, thanks for coming with me," Imara whispered, while Njano pricked her ears to listen better to their conversation.
"Yeah," Kanai replied with a happy sigh, "I must admit I had fun as well. I think my face still hurts from laughing. I suppose Erevu will be glad to find out we're friends now, or something."
"Mmhmm. I hope he'll stop chaperoning us too, to make sure we're getting along."
Kanai chuckled softly so as not to awaken the lionesses around her. "I'm going to sleep now, I'll talk to you later. Good night."
Imara walked away silently, and Kanai looked around for a place to lie down. She noticed Njano snuggled already next to Duni, so she went to sleep by Nura's side instead.
The next morning, as the lionesses stretched themselves and groomed each other after waking up, Njano approached Kanai, wanting to hear all about her walk with Imara.
"Hi! How's that headache?" Kanai greeted her.
"It's finally gone, thanks for asking. So, tell me, what were you up to while I was gone?"
Kanai shrugged. "Nothing much. Playing with the cubs, chasing them around, that sort of thing."
Njano blinked a couple of times. "That's all?"
"Um, yeah, I guess..." Kanai replied, while biting her lip nervously.
Njano was taken aback for a moment. "That's not what I heard... I heard someone asked you out."
"Oh, that!" Kanai said a bit too quickly, "That was nothing. Just Imara who wanted to talk without Erevu hanging around us like a hungry vulture."
"Oh... How did it go? Did you two have fun?"
Kanai shrugged. "As much fun as you can have with Imara, I guess," she replied, trying to sound as if her meeting had been of little or no importance.
Two lies in a row,Njano thought to herself, wondering why Kanai wouldn't just admit that she had a good time, like she did last night to Imara. Was she afraid that Njano would feel jealous?
"Anyway," Kanai said, interrupting her thoughts, "We're going hunting today, and you can officially join in now! Aren't you excited?"
"Try nervous... I'm afraid of messing up and ruining it for everyone. At least while hunting solo, you only mess things up for yourself..."
"You'll do fine, you'll see. Besides, I'll be with you, so I can poke you if your mind wanders away like it always does," Kanai said, looking into her eyes and giving her a small wink.
Njano finally smiled for the first time since the night before. "I hadn't thought about that..." she said as her mood lightened up at the prospect of hunting together with Kanai.
"Will you groom behind my ears?" Kanai asked, and Njano gladly complied. As they were busy with their grooming session, Erevu came down from his niche and greeted the lionesses.
Njano watched thoughtfully as Nura gave him a quick kiss and groomed his mane. She wondered whether he had already made up his mind, and was dying to find out. Not long after, Erevu stood up again and bid the lionesses good-bye and good luck during the hunt. He was getting ready to start his rounds and it appeared that Imara was not going with him this time.
Njano thought it would be a good opportunity to ask him about her request. She watched silently as Erevu walked past her, without acknowledging her presence, just like he usually did.
"Hmm, seems Chiku's gathering the huntresses already, probably we're going to discuss today's tactics. Let's join them," Kanai told her.
Njano hesitated for a moment, but finally said, "You go ahead, I'll be right there."
Before Kanai could ask anything else, Njano ran off in the direction Erevu had taken. Kanai watched her leave, and simply shook her head, smiling to herself. "Did she just run away? She must be really afraid of messing up..." she told herself, chuckling. She then joined the other lionesses and listened intently to Chiku's instructions.
In the meantime, Njano had managed to catch up with Erevu, who was sniffing the grass, looking bored.
"Erevu!" she called, making the lion look up, startled.
He quickly looked around him, to make sure they were alone and no one would listen to their conversation.
"What is it this time? Can't you see I'm busy?" he told her as he marked a nearby bush.
Njano waited until he was done, and then ventured to ask, "I just wanted to know if you already made up your mind..."
Erevu looked at her, chuckling slightly. "My, my, aren't you eager. Well, sorry to disappoint you, but no, I hadn't even thought about your request just yet. Besides, I told you I'd let you know whenever I make my decision."
Njano looked at him, visibly hurt. "But... I already gave you what you wanted, didn't I? I proved myself to you."
Erevu walked to her, enjoying himself while seeing her body language still conveying total submission, despite the lioness being obviously angry at him.
"I think I might need some more persuasion from your side, before I can make up my mind," he told her, sniffing her face.
Njano took a step backwards, not believing what she was hearing. "You mean... You want to mate again?"
"Of course," he replied with a smirk, matter-of-factly, "as many times it may take to persuade me to keep you around in my Pride, and also whenever I just feel like it, if I decide to let you stay. You yourself said you'd do anything, remember? But like I said, it's all up to you... If you think you're not up to the task, then you're more than welcome to leave with Safi and Duni."
Njano looked at him as her eyes began to tear up, and her body was shaking slightly as she tried to control her anger. Slapping that smug grin off his face would totally ruin her chances of staying, so she simply swallowed the nasty words she wanted to yell, and nodded silently.
"Very well. Now go back and stop bothering me. I will let you know when I require your presence again, and needless to say, I want you to keep it a secret."
Njano nodded again and turned around, her head and her tail hanging low, a posture that indicated defeat.
Erevu smiled to himself, looking forward to bullying Njano some more. He then turned around and went on with his patrolling duties while humming to himself.
Njano joined the hunting party just as Chiku was rounding up her pep-talk. Kanai briefly filled Njano in on what the plans were, but the lioness could tell that Njano's mind was somewhere else completely.
"You don't look so good all of a sudden. Hairball coming up?" Kanai asked Njano, as they headed quietly towards the hunting grounds.
Njano nodded. "I'm fine, don't worry. It's probably just the nerves."
Njano's mind kept going over the conversation she just had with Erevu, and she wanted nothing more than to retreat to a quiet place and cry. She had not foreseen that Erevu would request her to mate outside her season all the time, as a price to pay to be able to stay. She thought it had been a one-time request only.
I don't think I can do it. How am I contributing to the Pride anyway, by doing this? she thought, as the lionesses took their positions to ambush a herd of antelope.
Kanai sat next to Njano, and watched as Chiku launched the attack on their prey. The herd began to scatter and headed towards Kanai and Njano's direction.
"Okay, here they come, stay alert, Njano."
But Njano appeared not to have heard her.
"Njano, go! Now, darn it!" Kanai hissed, but seeing her friend completely unresponsive, Kanai cursed out loud and went ahead to try and finish the attack without her. She almost lost grip of the antelope she singled out, but luckily Adla had been nearby when Kanai was yelling at Njano, and assumed that they were having some kind of problem. Adla assisted Kanai by holding the antelope down, while Kanai gave the killing bite to the neck. The rest of the lionesses joined them within seconds and helped subdue the thrashing antelope.
Once they caught their breath, Chiku looked up, baring her teeth in anger, and was about to yell something nasty at Njano, who was still hiding behind a bush, but Kanai stopped her.
"Please, let her be, she's not feeling well. She had a headache yesterday, and she looked kinda queasy just a few moments ago."
"She's not with cub, is she?" Chiku snarled, but Kanai only shook her head in reply.
Adla stood up and shook the dust off her pelt. "I'll see if I can talk to her, in the meantime you can all drag this back to the lair and wait for Erevu to return."
The lionesses agreed, and they made their way back home, leaving Adla and Njano behind.
Adla crossed the thicket and sat down next to Njano, nuzzling her gently. "Are you all right? Kanai says you're a bit under the weather."
Njano looked up for a moment, but quickly looked away. "I'm fine, don't worry. Just got distracted, like always, that's all."
Adla could tell that Njano was lying, so she pressed on. "You don't look fine to me. Did something happen? Maybe I can help?"
Njano really wanted to talk with someone about the situation with Erevu, but she was afraid that if she were to bring this to the light, that Erevu would simply kick her out. Njano pondered for a moment, wondering if there was a way to phrase her questions without giving away what was going on.
"I know it sounds dumb but... It's... It's about growing up, and finding a mate..." she said finally.
Adla grinned for a moment. "And what's the problem with that?"
Njano shrugged. "I just wish I had paid more attention to when mom gave me that talk about how cubs are made. I feel so clueless right now," she lied, hoping to steer the conversation towards what she wanted to know.
"Well, if you trust me, perhaps I can answer your questions right now. Erevu won't come home any time soon, so we have time enough."
Njano gave Adla a small grin, and nodded. "Thanks, I appreciate it."
The older lioness proceeded to explain in detail what lions needed to do to procreate, while Njano listened intently. When she was done, Njano finally asked, "So what if the lioness isn't in season? Can she mate too?"
"Why would she want to? We only feel the need to mate when we're in season," Adla replied.
"So she cannot mate at all, then?"
Adla shifted her weight slightly. "Well... Technically she can, and it does happen sometimes, but it's not a nice experience, for us females at least. You see, the males are always ready to mate and take great pleasure at it every time, but we don't. However, some lionesses will agree to do it as a sign of gratitude, or to help the males relieve some tension. But it's the lioness' decision; the male has no say in it."
Njano looked away for a moment, and finally blurted out, "Can a lioness accept a male's request to mate, in order to obtain something from him in return?"
Adla frowned slightly, wondering why she would bring this scenario up. "Usually all we need to do is ask him for a favour. The males won't dare to ask for that type of payback, unless there is something really big at stake, or the lioness in question is extremely submissive and they know they can take advantage of her."
Njano closed her eyes tight, her head still turned away from Adla. "But if it were to happen anyway... Would the Pride think less of a lioness who decided to go down that route?"
Adla hesitated for a moment. She was now sure that there was something going on that was prompting these rather specific questions, but she didn't want Njano to know. She pondered how to reply so as not to give herself away, and still be helpful.
"I think it depends a lot on the situation. Take your mom, for example. The lionesses were very judgmental of her, and she even mated within her season, with no other specific goals or requests. So I think in this case, they'd be willing to hear what prompted a lioness to feel so powerless so as to give in to such a request. I, for one, would really like to know. Perhaps I, as the alpha lioness, could help my fellow pride-mate get what she wants, without her having to submit to a male's bullying."
Njano remained very quiet, as Adla's words sank in. She turned to look at her slowly, trying to keep her eyes from tearing up.
Adla sat closer, tilting her head slightly, looking thoughtful. She nuzzled Njano gently, while in the meantime looking for bite marks in the back of her neck. She found them all right, not too obvious, unless one was explicitly looking for them. Adla understood now. Someone was obviously taking advantage of Njano, and she wished with all her might she had known about this earlier.
Adla stopped nuzzling and whispered softly, "Who did this to you, and what did you ask from him?"
Njano finally burst into tears, sobbing so often that she was having problems trying to speak.
Adla waited patiently for her to calm down, nuzzling her and drying her tears.
When Njano finally recovered from her outburst, she simply whispered, "It doesn't matter who, Adla. All I know is that I have to do it if I want to get what I'm longing for..."
"Are you sure it's not something I could help with? After all, I've been known for getting my way when I put my heart into it," she replied, grinning slightly.
Njano shook her head. "If he finds out I told you, I'll have no chance..."
"I'll be very discrete, I promise."
Njano took a deep breath. "I... I asked Erevu to take me into the Pride."
Adla's expression changed immediately. She looked extremely upset. "I should've known... He bullied your mother, now he's moved on to bullying you..." she muttered to herself.
"He says he doesn't need me around, since all you other lionesses already provide for him. But there was something else I could help him with... He asked to mate, knowing I wouldn't get any cubs in my current state. So I accepted, thinking that it would be a one-time thing, but today I found out that he expects me to go mate with him every time he asks, and not just now, but also if I'm allowed to stay. So if I'm not a huntress or a cub-sitter... Just what kind of role am I going to have?"
"No role at all," she replied, visibly angry, "He's just walking all over you because he thinks he's got the upper hand and he knows you're not going to stand up for yourself."
"And even if I would stand up to him, then he wouldn't let me stay either. I just can't figure out what to do..."
Adla took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Do you really want to stay with us that badly?"
Njano nodded. "I'd be very grateful if I could, yes..."
Adla nodded as well, not questioning Njano's motivations. "Fine. Then leave it up to me. Don't worry, I won't tell him you told me anything. But I promise you, he won't be bothering you again."
"Please don't tell my mom either, she doesn't have a clue."
"Don't underestimate her, she can smell your mood, you know. I've always wished I could have her nose..." Adla replied dreamily, "I suggest we head back for now, and that you don't ask Erevu anything about your request. If you do, I'm sure he'll try to lure you into mating again, so don't give him the opportunity. If he comes to you before I've had a chance to speak with him, just try to deter him."
Njano nodded. "Will do... Thanks for listening, this was really eating me up..."
"I can see why. The prospect of joining a Pride, just to be used like that, time and time again... No, definitely not appealing at all. I'm really glad you confided in me, sweetie. Is there anything else you would like to talk about?" Adla asked.
Njano simply shook her head. "No, you've really helped clear my head now. I feel a lot better."
Both lionesses returned to the lair. Njano was relieved to see that Erevu was not back yet. She looked for Kanai, hoping she could apologize for not participating in the hunt earlier. She found her sitting under the shade of the trees with Imara. For a brief moment, she doubted whether she should join them, but decided to do it anyway.
"Hey, guys... I'm really, really sorry about earlier, Kanai. That hairball came up at a really bad time," Njano said, sitting down nearby, while both lions turned to look at her.
"Don't mention it, I figured you were not feeling well," Kanai replied.
Imara looked visibly disappointed. "Uh, oh... Now your best friend is back, I guess I'm not needed anymore, huh?" he told Kanai.
Kanai let out a laugh. "Don't be silly, you can stay if you want, if you can stand lioness talk. Right, Njano?"
Njano chuckled and nodded.
Imara shook his head and stood up. "I'll just leave you two at it then. But you're still up for a walk with me after dinner, right?"
Kanai blushed slightly, and looked away. "We'll see..."
"C'mon, it'll be fun, like last time."
Kanai became rather nervous, but nodded in the end. "Okay, okay, I'll see you later. Now, shoo."
Njano waited until Imara was off earshot and faced Kanai. "You seem to get along better with him as of lately... How come? Is he less shy and quiet than before?"
Kanai nodded, not going deep into the subject.
Njano sat closer to her. "Hey, listen, it's okay if you like hanging out with him. I mean, I think it's great, since he's going to be your mate, after all. Better to be friends than enemies... You don't have to worry about me, or hide things from me."
Kanai looked at Njano, feeling ashamed. "You're not angry or jealous?"
Njano smiled warmly. "I'd be happy if I didn't need to share you with anyone else, but I know that's not gonna happen. I know you have a role to fill in this Pride, and being with him is the price you gotta pay. It'd be very unfair of me to be angry or jealous, when I know you're practically being forced to do this."
Kanai sighed deeply and gave Njano a head-butt. "You're the greatest, you know?"
Njano lay down on her belly. "Now tell me all about it, I want all the juicy details. Does he have feelings for you?"
"Nah, I don't think so. He's just really funny. I'd never expected that of him, when he'd barely say a word to us when we were young..."
As the two lionesses gossiped about Imara, Erevu eventually returned from doing his rounds. Njano decided to wait under the trees with Kanai, until Imara and Erevu were done eating. Once she made sure Erevu had already retreated to his niche, they finally made their way to the lair and joined the rest of the lionesses for dinner.