Author's Note: Aw. My poor readers. I've got you all downtrodden. *pats heads* Fear not, resolution is upon you. But hey, guess what? I got you ALL to feel badly for Sheldon. Cross that off the bucket list!
Amy
After Sheldon walked back to his room, Amy sat, much like she had the night before, wondering what to do. What had happened? It appeared the she had been wrong. Her boyfriend had apparently prepared a meal for the two of them with no ulterior motive. But why? Why the sudden desire to do something nice for her?
She started gathering up the dishes, taking them to the sink to wash.
Of course, that's not to say that he never treated her nicely…but he rarely, if ever, did something without motive, and never did anything spontaneously.
As she washed the dishes, she pondered the past two evenings. At the end of both she had found herself confused, alone in the living room, with Sheldon in his bedroom. She decided to talk to Penny again. Penny always had answers.
She put down the last wet dish, dried her hands, and walked over to apartment 4B. When Penny opened the door she looked surprised to see Amy.
"Hey Ames. What's up? I thought you and Sheldon were having dinner alone tonight."
"We were. But it was weird and I came over to ask what you thought about Sheldon's behavior."
"Ok…Come on in."
Amy walked over and sat down on the couch. Penny sat down next to her. "So what's up tonight?"
"Well…Sheldon prepared a meal. Well, he bought it and set it out on nice plates. There were candles and everything."
"Ok. So far, so good. So what'd he do?"
"Nothing."
Penny frowned. "I'm not following."
"That's the thing. He didn't do anything. He was perfectly pleasant. He didn't rant about anything. He didn't say anything about our kissing last night. We just had a pleasant conversation about my work."
"Sweetie…I'm still not following. Why are you over here?"
"I asked him why he was acting pleasant, but he just got up and walked away. I want to know what's going on."
"Um…Sweetie? If you want to know why Sheldon was acting pleasant, shouldn't you be asking him that?"
"Really?"
"Well…yeah." Penny gave her a small smile. "I mean, I appreciate that you feel you can come to me for advice, but you know, sometimes you have to learn to actually communicate with your boyfriend. The two of you have been in a relationship for well over a year, and yet, instead of either of you two talking to each other about your problems, you come to me or Leonard."
Hmm. Amy hadn't thought about it that way. "I'm sorry…it's just that…Sheldon is still my first boyfriend…I just don't want to inadvertently mess it up."
Penny smiled and patted Amy's arm. "I don't think you need to worry about that. I really don't think Sheldon is going anywhere. And hey! Where is this coming from?"
Penny asked a valid question. Why was Amy so worried about her relationship with Sheldon?
Amy shrugged.
"You guys have been in a relationship for over a year…you're living together! I'm pretty sure you could royally screw up and he'd still stick around…although I'm sure you'd never hear the end of it…"
Amy looked at Penny. "You really think so?"
"Of course!" Penny gave Amy a look. "I mean, come on. This is Sheldon…for one thing he's locked himself into a 'legally binding' contract with you. If that's not making a statement, then I don't know what is…"
When it was put that way, Amy's sudden insecurity didn't make sense at all…
She turned to Penny. "Thanks Penny."
"Sure! Now get over there and discuss your problems with your boyfriend!"
Amy' worry returned. "But what if he won't talk to me about it?"
Penny shrugged. "That's certainly possible. It's a risk you'll just have to take, Sweetie."
Amy frowned. She didn't like that idea. At all. She wasn't used to going in to conversations with Sheldon without first having received advice from someone outside the relationship. What if she didn't understand where he was coming from? Granted, she usually did. But still.
She turned to Penny. "Ok. Sorry to bother you."
She got up and headed for the door.
Penny stood up as well. "Wait. So are you going to go talk to him?"
Amy turned around and nodded. Penny smiled at her. "Good for you. Good luck…and text me all the details."
Amy walked slowly back into their apartment and headed for Sheldon's room.
She hesitated at the door, hand raised, preparing to knock. But wait. What was she going to say? She lowered her hand, walked back into the living room, and sat on the couch. Why was she suddenly so insecure? Sheldon had been perfectly pleasant, and yet she had responded with suspicion.
She supposed she had good reason. Sheldon had acted completely atypical. And in the past the only time he acted atypical was when he had ulterior motives.
And yet, it seemed that this time he had indeed been trying to do something nice for her. But why? This was the question she kept returning to. It had essentially come out of nowhere. The last time she had seen him, prior to dinner tonight, had been when he had run out of the room suddenly after spending a fair amount of time making out with her (a thought which gave her a little thrill).
Regardless, it appeared she had misjudged him…perhaps she should apologize to him.
This would be a first. She couldn't think of any other times where she had felt the necessity to apologize to Sheldon for a blunder, rather than the other way around…
Well, the night wasn't getting any younger. She supposed she had better just do it.
As she stood up and started walking back towards Sheldon's room, she felt a nervous flutter in her stomach. What if things didn't go well?
But no, she had better not start thinking that. She again paused in front of the door, steeling her nerves, before lifting her hand and knocking on the door.
"Who is it?"
She cleared her throat. "It's Amy."
"Oh…"
She waited, wondering if he was going to deny her access to his room.
After what felt like several minutes, but was probably actually several seconds, she heard him say. "Enter."
She opened the door and walked inside. Sheldon was sitting at the edge of his bed, holding the latest Flash comic. He blinked at her, his face curiously blank.
"Yes?"
She shuffled her feet and cleared her throat, looking at the floor. She took a deep breath and raised her eyes to his face. "I came to apologize."
He blinked at her, face still blank. "I see…"
When she didn't say anything else he cleared his throat. "You didn't actually apologize."
She stifled a smile. Something about his slightly condescending attitude made her feel better. This was the Sheldon she knew and loved.
"I'm sorry."
He raised his eyebrows. "For…"
She stifled another smile. "For thinking you had ulterior motives and not fully appreciating the effort you went to tonight."
"There it is…" He nodded at her. "You're forgiven."
He frowned. "And if I may ask, why did you think I had ulterior motives?"
Amy shrugged, moving to sit by him on the edge of his bed. "You've never done something like that without ulterior motives before."
He looked thoughtful. "Are you sure?"
She raised her eyebrows at him. "Quite sure. The last time you prepared a meal for me was when you wished to amend the Relationship Agreement in such a way so as to prevent me from kissing you."
"Interesting." He set down his comic book and turned towards her. "And yet, when I attempted to do something nice for you I was met with hostility…surely you can see why I wouldn't want to attempt it again."
She frowned. "No. I would love for you to do something like that again…but I have to ask, why did you suddenly decide to prepare a nice meal for me? What was the occasion? The last time I saw you was when you ran away after making out with me."
Sheldon looked forward, appearing to be thinking of his response. She saw his eyes dart all over the room, before finally resting on his shoes.
Just as she was wondering if he was planning on not answering, he took a breath and turned to her. "I was testing a hypothesis."
She was confused. "A hypothesis?"
He nodded.
"What was the hypothesis?"
His eyes darted around the room again. "That we are in a normal relationship."
A normal relationship? She thought for a moment. They were definitely in a relationship, but if the comments made by Penny and the rest of their friends were to be believed, then it was not to be considered "normal".
She cocked her head. "How did you develop this hypothesis?"
He took a deep breath and exhaled quickly. "I spent the majority of last night, after…" He made a generic gesture.
"We made out? French kissed? Locked lips? Played tonsil hockey? Macked? Scammed? Snogged?"
Sheldon blinked at her and then rolled his eyes. "Yes. After we did…that…I spent the majority of the night trying to reconcile my behavior."
Amy frowned, confused. "Reconcile your behavior?"
Sheldon nodded. "Yes. I have spent almost my entire life upholding the belief that physical relationships are, if you'll pardon me, unsanitary. So why did I suddenly throw caution to the wind and not only allow you to stick your tongue in my mouth, but actually participate and reciprocate? Rather than find the action unsanitary and immediately feel the need to rinse with mouthwash, I gave no thought to germs and actually found the experience enjoyable."
Amy smiled at him. "You found the experience enjoyable?"
He rolled his eyes. "Amy, please. Focus."
She attempted to wipe the smile off her face and cleared her throat. "Of course. Sorry." She did a little internal dance at the news that he had enjoyed himself. She couldn't wait to text Penny. "Please continue."
"As I was saying, I spent a good deal of the night pondering my behavior, rather than sleeping. I left early this morning for work, because I wished to avoid seeing you until I had sorted out my behavior. Much to my dismay, rather than spend the morning working, I spent a good portion of it alternately thinking about my predicament or dozing. It wasn't until I was at lunch that I surprised myself by thinking that it was illogical for my friends to be teasing me, because what I had done was a normal thing to do with your girlfriend. I naturally tested out my hypothesis, stating my thought to my friends, and then collecting the results. The results of the experiment led me to believe that my thought was, in fact, correct. That what I had done was not something of note, but a natural and quote, unquote normal thing for me to do. Granted, I was not very happy at the thought that I was behaving as other humans do, considering that I would like to believe that you and I are part of the new Homo Novus species on this planet. However, I had decided, for the sake of my hypothesis, to proceed with the testing of said hypothesis. As I was riding home with Leonard I pondered what else was normal for a boyfriend to do. When I verbalized my query, he stated that it is normal for a boyfriend to occasionally prepare a nice meal for his girlfriend. So that is what I did. And of course we now know that it was a complete failure."
Amy blinked at him, trying to process everything he had just said. He had been working under the assumption that he was "normal"? That they were "normal"?
"Sheldon…do you think I want you to be quote, unquote normal? That I want our relationship to be quote, unquote normal?"
He looked at her. "Isn't that why you're always pushing me to move to another level when you know perfectly well I'm happy at whatever level we are at?"
What a fascinating, and yet disheartening, misunderstanding.
She turned to him. "Sheldon…can I grab your hand?"
He appeared shocked. "Of course."
She grabbed both of his hands off his lap and held them in both of hers. "There has been a rather large misunderstanding between us."
He cocked his head to the side, looking curious.
"I don't want a normal relationship. And it's just plain silly for anyone to expect you to be normal. I don't want you to be normal. I want you to be Sheldon. I have and always will, like you for you."
"Then why are you always trying to change me?"
"I'm not trying to change you. I'm trying to…adjust your behavior…I'm given to understand that most relationships are about compromise."
"Ok. 'A', after just stating that you don't want a quote, unquote normal relationship you compare your actions with the actions of other humans in relationships. 'B', isn't adjusting my behavior the same thing as changing me? And, 'C' if most relationships are about compromise, then how come I am the one always doing the compromising?"
Amy nodded. "Fair questions. Let me start with 'C' and work my way backwards. I believe it is a fairly established fact that you are a man who knows what he wants and doesn't like to deviate from it. Some might call it stubbornness. I on the other hand, am much more malleable. As a result of your stubbornness, coupled with my willingness for change, it ends up being you who resists something new and/or different, and, therefore, it feels like you are the only one who is making compromises."
Sheldon looked thoughtful. "Fascinating. I'm not sure I agree with your assertion that I am stubborn, but your logic does make some sense." He gestured for her to continue.
"As for items 'A' and 'B', I believe I can answer both those queries with the same explanation…Let us first both assume that we are indeed part of a new evolution of man. That would mean that we are the Adam and Eve, of sorts, of our species."
Sheldon nodded. "Naturally."
"So, if we are to eventually repopulate the earth with this superior species, then it stands to reason that we would need to propagate eventually. Now, of course this could be done in a lab, as previously agreed by the both of us at the start of our friendship, but, as we are now in a relationship, and because your mother would quote, unquote have a cow, it makes more sense to eventually enter into a physical relationship. As previously stated, you are stubborn. Not to mention your previously stated belief that physical relationships are unsanitary. So, in order to ensure the continuation of our new species, I have found it necessary to pursue a physical relationship with you…and also because you get my motor running."
Amy hadn't quite meant to say that; it had just sort of slipped out. She felt her face grow hot and looked down at their hands.
When Sheldon didn't say anything, she looked up at him. He was looking at her, blinking, with his mouth slightly open.
She didn't know why he was so surprised…she had asked him several times in the past about the possibility of coitus…
She cleared her throat. "So…to continue. By default, if I am pushing you into a physical relationship, then we are following a course set out by the rest of humanity, as well as making it necessary to change your behavior. However, I would never want to change you. If you were to inherently change who you are, then you would not be the same Sheldon…and we would never work as a couple."
Sheldon looked at her for a few moments. "And you don't think that a Sheldon which enters into a physical relationship is an inherently changed Sheldon?"
"I think the fact that you just referred to yourself in the third person proves that that is not the case."
He looked at their hands and then back at her. "Fascinating."
Amy was quiet for a moment, mulling a question around in her head. She wanted to know the answer, but was afraid of what Sheldon would say. It was one which she had had in the back of her mind for some time.
She gathered her courage, took a deep breath, and looked up. Sheldon was looking at her already, head cocked.
"I have a question…It's one which has been bothering me for some time…"
She paused, starting to get more nervous about his potential responses. She let go of his hands and turned around to face the front, taking a deep breath.
When she didn't speak for several more moments Sheldon said, "Amy?"
She turned her head to look at him.
"Are you going to ask your question or not?"
She felt the corners of her mouth turn up slightly at his impatience. She nodded and turned her body back to face him again.
She cleared her throat, trying to reclaim her courage, ruing herself for stating that she had a question to begin with.
"Do you…am I…" She paused, taking another deep breath, before saying very quickly, "Do I get your motor running?"
Sheldon raised his eyebrows and blinked at her for several seconds, before his eyes started darting around the room. He cleared his throat.
"Yes."
Her mouth popped open in shock. "Yes?"
His eyes kept darting everywhere but at her. "Yes."
"So…you find me attractive?"
He looked at her then and frowned. "Of course I find you attractive. I've told you so before."
"But that was when I was dressed in fancy clothes, with fancy hair, and fancy makeup…"
She looked down.
Neither one spoke for quite a while. Amy was starting to gather up her courage to tell Sheldon never mind, that she didn't need to hear that she was pretty because he had just said that she got his motor running, when he spoke up.
"Amy. You're the most attractive person I know. Also, excluding myself, naturally, you're the most intelligent person I've met. And you're fun. You're, as the colloquialism goes, the whole package."
Amy looked at him, completely discombobulated. Had Sheldon Cooper really given her such a magnificent compliment?
She grinned at him. "I'm going to kiss you now."
She threw herself at him, nearly knocking him backwards, kissing him for a very long time.
When she finally drew back, he looked at her, turning the corners of his mouth up ever so slightly. "That was a statement not a question. That's a violation of the Relationship Agreement for you."
She smiled again, shrugged, and then went back to kissing him.
Over the next few months Amy and Sheldon settled into a happy pattern. They still had little scuffles, naturally, such as when Amy didn't want French toast on French toast day, but on the whole things were going well.
The results of their discussion, following Sheldon's attempt to be normal, had yielded good results. Amy no longer worried that Sheldon only cared for her mind. And whenever she was having a bad day, she would remind herself of Sheldon's compliment and feel instantly elated. Sheldon found her attractive. She got his motor running. Life really was good!
Amy also noticed a subtle change in Sheldon. She had continued her experiment of exposing him to germs. Of course, she had told him that she was doing things, like having his friends touch his food, but in actuality she was doing nothing. She knew that the battle was in his mind. She didn't really want to expose him to that many germs, as his immune system would need time to boost itself. But she wanted him to get over his fear of exposure…of course, frequently kissing him had helped, she was sure.
But he had certainly come a long way. He had even managed not to freak out when he accidentally took a drink from Raj's glass at the Cheesecake Factory. Of course, as soon as they had returned home he had very thoroughly brushed his teeth and gargled mouthwash for approximately 5 minutes, but it was an improvement.
As for how else Sheldon had changed, he seemed to be…for want of a better word to describe it…looser. Penny, and the others, frequently commented on the change. He was, of course, still the Sheldon she loved, but he was more apt to smile, his rants were much shorter than they had been in the past, and he actually used the word "please" once when asking Penny to get out of his spot.
Raj had once hugged her on his way out the door, and when she had looked at Howard in surprise, he had stated that they were all grateful for whatever it was she had done to change Sheldon from a "giant douche" into a "tolerable jerkwad".
"Amy, is it really necessary for me to be here?"
Amy sighed. They were walking up to her mother's house. It was her 65th birthday and the entire family was going to be present. Since Sheldon had ditched her on the last entire family gathering, and as it was her mother's birthday, her entire family expected him to be there…"assuming he is real".
"Yes Sheldon. You are expected to be here. And why are you so resistant to meeting my family?"
"I'm not resistant…I'm…uninterested…I don't care to meet people who don't believe I exist."
They stopped at the front door, getting ready to walk though.
"Well, you obviously do exist. And I want to prove it. And," she smiled at him. "I want to show off the arm candy I'm dating."
Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Really Amy? That's a Penny phrase if I ever heard one."
Amy shrugged, grabbed his hand, and opened the door.
It was a nightmare from the start. Amy always dreaded spending time with her extended family, but the embarrassment of constantly being put down was made all the more embarrassing by having Sheldon hear it all.
Sheldon, for his part, behaved admirably, especially given the circumstances. He was, of course, completely condescending, but most of Amy's family was so dense that they didn't recognize his condescension. Only her mother continually frowned at him.
Amy enjoyed watching her family attempt to verbally spar with Sheldon. The highlight of the evening, for her, was when one of her cousins insulted her and Sheldon came to her rescue, giving him a scathing reply.
It was at that point that her mother grabbed Amy by the arm, and dragged her into the kitchen.
"Amy, you need to do something about Sheldon."
Amy crossed her arms. "What do you mean? I think he's being charming."
"Charming! He has been nothing but condescending since the moment you walked through the door!"
"Well, they all deserve it."
Her mother frowned. "Amy, that's not nice. They don't deserve to be treated disrespectfully."
"Oh, they don't deserve to be treated disrespectfully, but it is ok for them to make fun of me?"
"Oh Amy, they're just teasing you."
"Well I don't appreciate it. And obviously neither does Sheldon."
Her mother sighed. "Amy, I realize he's your first boyfriend, but you really have blinders on…are you sure you aren't ready to move on to someone else? I'm sure you can find another person who's more pleasant to be around."
Amy narrowed her eyes. "No mother. I'm not ready to move on to someone else. I will never be ready to move on to someone else. I plan to spend the rest of my life with Sheldon. I love him and there is nothing you can say to change my mind."
She crossed her arms, waiting for her mother's reply.
Her mother cleared her throat, looking uncomfortable, and looked behind Amy. "Is there something I can do for you Sheldon?"
Amy's eyes grew big. She turned around slowly to look behind her. Sheldon was standing in the doorway, blinking at her with his mouth open.
A/N: Thoughts? Feelings? Concerns? Clickity Click that little review button and let me know. I'm eager as always. :)
P.S. Don't worry, you'll see more of what happened at the Party. ;) Oh and FYI, this is my longest chapter to date. :)