"I GOT AN IDEA!" Miyeon yelled once we left the club, "LET'S DO THE BEFORE THE DAWN DANCE FOR THEM!"
"Why … are you ye—ew, excuse me-yelling?" Song-E asked through fits of laughter.
"WHAT?" Miyeon said, stumbling closer to Song-E.
"Girls, girls, please be calm," Woohyun said, trying to console them into being quieter.
"Sunggyu, you're so handsome," Miyeon hooked her arm with Sunggyu's and giggled.
"Miyeonie, I hate to say this, because I'm thoroughly enjoying it… but you're drunk," Sunggyu stumbled over his words almost as bad as Miyeon did.
"WHO'S DRUNK?" Sungyeol, who could barely stand on his own, stumbled across the sidewalk to Sunggyu's side.
"Everyone except me and Woohyun, it would appear," Hoya said, trying not to laugh.
"We're not drunk either," Dongwoo said, but he looked a little tipsy with his arm over Jaesoon's shoulder. She looked fine, though.
"Before the dawwwwn," Miyeon started to sing, "Befooore the dawwwwn!"
"Guys, seriously, you're way too loud," Woohyun tried to hold his hands over both Miyeon and Sunggyu's mouths as they continued to sing. "Did you seriously just lick my hand?"
Miyeon started to laugh hysterically, but her mouth was still covered by Woohyun. Sunggyu looked like he had something to argue with Woohyun about, so he lifted his hand to let him speak.
"You didn't sing your part like you were supposed to," Sunggyu said, genuine disappointment in his eyes. I noticed we had arrived somewhere, but I wasn't exactly sure where. It looked like Infinite's dorm or something. All 11 of us stepped into the elevator.
"You know what the best part is, Gyu?" Woohyun said, a small smile on his face.
"What's that?"
Woohyun smirked hugely, "You were the one who told us we'd have to do laps if we got wasted."
"I repeal my previous statement," Sunggyu cleared his throat, "No punishment those who become intoxicated."
"It doesn't work that way, hyung-nim," Woohyun said, "You made us promise and you promised too."
Sunggyu stared at Woohyun, their noses almost touching, and then Sunggyu started laughing hysterically. Miyeon started laughing again, too, which caused me to laugh for the first time in a while. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop. I hid my face in Sungyeol's chest to try to stop laughing but I couldn't. He was chuckling at me, and he rested his chin on my head.
"Wait, guys, we have to go home!" Song-E started hitting all of us, "We have to go home! Tomorrow we have early practice oh god we have to go home oh god."
I still couldn't stop laughing.
"Why don't you guys just camp out at our place?" Dongwoo suggested.
"No, no," Song-E started, "We have to go.. to go.." she blinked and looked at Jaesoon, "home. Back to the dorm. Got to."
Sungyeol nodded, "I'll help get you guys home."
"Better let me," Woohyun laughed, "You're still drunk."
"No, I need more fresh air that's all," Sungyeol hooked his arm practically around my neck. I acted like I was choking and Miyeon and I started laughing all over again.
"You two are trashed," Sunggyu laughed, "You probably should go home."
"I'll help you get home," Sungyeol said again, still slurring his words a bit.
I tried to speak through laughs, "Sungyeol yerchoking meee." This caused Miyeon to laugh so hard that you couldn't even hear her.
"I'm coming, too," Woohyun said, "Hoya, can you make sure the other guys get to sleep?"
Hoya laughed, "You guys are so dumb, really. But yeah, I'll get them in bed."
Sungjong threw his arms around Hoya, "HYUNG I CAN'T STAND ANYMORE! CARRY ME!"
"We shouldn't have let him come," Woohyun said and sighed, "We shouldn't have let any of you idiots come."
"I want to walk you home, too," Dongwoo said to Jaesoon.
"No, you go inside and sleep," she patted his chest, "I'll text you when we get home."
"Are you guys dating?" Miyeon asked, stumbling way too close to Jaesoon's face.
Both of them blushed, and Jaesoon chuckled, "Miyeon, you're drunk."
"Are you?"
Dongwoo looked extremely embarrassed, so Hoya cut in, "If that's what you call making out in the darkest corner of the club."
Miyeon cooed and the two somehow got even redder. Dongwoo pushed Hoya and shook his head.
Somehow, we made it to our dorm's block and I couldn't remember much of how it happened. The night had been full of lighthearted fun. I hadn't been this happy in a while. Song-E and Jaesoon were sobering up, but Miyeon and I were still very giggly.
"You're going to be hungover tomorrow," Sungyeol said. His voice wasn't slurring anymore, so I assumed he was also sobering up.
"No I won't," I said and giggled more.
"You will," he said, a slight chuckle in his voice, "but you better not blame me."
I blinked. I couldn't process his words right. We made it to our door and Song-E sighed and tried to find the right key.
"I had fun tonight, oppa," I said and stood on my toes to kiss his cheek. I missed. But I didn't mind—until the door opened.
"WHERE THE F—Jinhwa?" Jiyoon's voice went from worry to confusion. I jumped back and Sungyeol's eyes were huge.
"Sorry, what?" I blinked again.
"Where the hell have you guys been? No one answered the phone, we've been waiting for almost 3 hours!" Jiyoon pulled us inside and thanked Sungyeol and Woohyun.
"We? We who?" Miyeon asked.
The first thing I saw was Dongwoon's eyes. I couldn't focus on any other feature of his face, but his eyes shot right through me. I couldn't breathe for a minute. Did he just see that?
"Dongwoon, Doojoon, and me," Jiyoon said angrily, "What are you four thinking? Have you been out all night? Do you KNOW what time it is?"
"What the hell is he doing here?" Miyeon pointed at Doojoon.
"You wouldn't answer my calls, so I called Jiyoon because I had a bad feeling," he said with a scowl, "She couldn't get you to answer either."
"Did he just kiss you?" Dongwoon asked.
"Dongwoon…" I began, but I couldn't think of anything to say.
"DID HE?" Dongwoon stepped closer, his eyes still stinging me. I tried to focus on his lips instead, but they were just as angry. "What the FUCK, Jinhwa?"
"Woon, I—" I couldn't speak. I tried to come up with some excuse, but only tears came out.
"You.. you what? You kissed him?" Dongwoon yelled.
"Dongwoon, she's really drunk," Song-E put an arm around me and lead me to our room. I looked over my shoulder and tried to tell him what I was thinking without having to speak. I tried to plead with his eyes, to make them stop stinging me.
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK HOW DRUNK SHE IS," Dongwoon tried to follow us but Doojoon put a hand on his shoulder.
"I don't get why… why are you here?" Miyeon asked Doojoon again.
"Jiyoon was frantic, I came to make sure you guys were okay," Doojoon began.
Miyeon slapped him, "Don't come near me!"
Jiyoon grabbed Miyeon's hand, "Go lay down."
"NO, DON'T TOUCH ME," Miyeon shrugged away, "Why would you come here when you dragged both me AND Jaesoon around for MONTHS?"
"Miyeon, now is not the time to talk about it," Jaesoon said calmly, "It's not like that."
Miyeon looked confused, "Wait, you're on his side now?"
"Come on, let's go to bed," she sighed and looked apologetically at Jiyoon before leading Miyeon off to bed.
"Thanks for stopping by, jerk," Miyeon said angrily in Doojoon's face before she got completely dragged away.
Song-E helped me into bed because I was too upset to do anything for myself. She kept talking softly to me while she helped me into clothes, "Right now, just worry about sleep. Dongwoon will calm down overnight."
"Unni," I pouted, "I don't love Sungyeol."
"I know," she patted my cheek.
"I love Dongwoon, unni," I said, more tears coming on.
She sighed, "Close your eyes, hunya. Just close your eyes and sleep this off."
"He's going to hate me."
"He could never hate you," she moved some hair off my forehead, "He's just going to be upset. You can fix it tomorrow. Right now, just sleep."
I closed my eyes like she said and it felt like I almost instantly fell asleep.
The next morning, it was like someone had driven a bus straight into my face. I felt completely empty; I didn't dream, but I woke up only able to think about Dongwoon. I didn't really kiss Sungyeol did I? Right in front of Dongwoon? The one person I actually wanted to kiss?
"Come on, maknae, we have to go in 10 minutes," Song-E said. She seemed fine. I wondered how Miyeon was feeling. Oh shit. Miyeon. I wondered what made her lash out at Doojoon like that (besides the alcohol). And even more confusing was why Jaesoon defended him. I didn't know what was going on anymore. Not with anything.
I slugged through the morning dance practice, barely able to keep up at a slow tempo. Our choreographer was clearly pissed at us. Jiyoon explained what happened last night, and he had absolutely no sympathy.
"You are… impossible. You think you guys are going to make it ANYWHERE if you pull this crap again?" he lectured, "I told you to go home and get rest. Instead you stumble in, wasted, at 2am? Are you guys that full of yourselves?"
"No, sir," we all answered quietly.
"Try it again from the top," he said, impossibly frustrated.
After 4 hours, he let us take a lunch. I tried to call Dongwoon, but he didn't answer. So I sent him a text.
( Please, Dongwoon. We need to talk. )
( Why don't you just go talk to Sungyeol? )
I deserved that. But he texted me again.
( I don't care that you were drunk. It still hurt. )
I didn't want to text-solve this.
( Please… meet me somewhere. )
( I'm busy. )
"Jinhwa," Jiyoon sat next to me, "They're on their break. Go down there."
"He doesn't want to see me," I said, feeling an overload of self-pity.
"Yes he does," Jiyoon said, "Just go." I looked at her uncertainly. "If you don't go, you don't get a lunch break."
I sighed and gathered my things. I didn't care that I looked like crap. I didn't care that Dongwoon was trying to avoid me. I didn't care that I was drunk last night, either. I felt awful. I wanted to make it right. I needed Dongwoon, and I couldn't stand him so upset with me. I couldn't stand him so upset because of me. I called him again when I got inside the Cube building.
"Are you here?" he asked.
"I'm downstairs. Can I come up?"
"I'll come down." Click. I waited what felt like an eternity by the elevators. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. Finally, the elevator made a ding noise and I stood up.
When the doors opened, I saw him. He looked normal. The same Dongwoon I knew, the same one I loved. And I didn't know how to express the guilt I felt. So I cried. I cried and Dongwoon wrapped his arms around me.
"Stop crying," he said. There wasn't the same soothing tone in his voice as usual. It was a very forced sound. But I couldn't stop.
"Dongwoon, I'm stupid. I know I screwed up."
He waited a minute, and eventually he let go and took a step back.
"Yeah," he sighed, "You did screw up. You're human. We screw up."
"You know I don't have feelings for him," I said, "I want to make all these excuses about what happened but it doesn't change anything. I just wish I hadn't even made that mistake."
Dongwoon was looking at his feet. I waited long and hard for him to say something—anything. Finally, he said, "I just don't know what to say." I waited again for him to say something. "Doojoon and I decided not to tell anyone what happened. Song-E was responsible, and she deserves to have fun with her friends. It's none of our business, and we trust her to stay faithful to Gikwang."
"Of course she will," I said softly, surprised at the sound of my own voice.
"As for you?" Dongwoon sighed, "I can't see you for a while."
"What do you mean you can't see me?" I asked, worried. He can't do this, can he?
"I mean, don't expect me to just say 'Aw, it's okay,' and move on. We were really getting somewhere, you and I, and then this? Now I don't know what to feel," he paused, watching my reaction: blankness. "I just want a little bit of time apart. So I can figure out what I want."
"But I love you, Dongwoon," I reached for his hand, but he took a step back.
"Don't.. just don't.." he said uncomfortably. Like I had some sort of disease.
"You can't do this," I said, tears spilling all over again.
"I have to."