Disclaimer: The BBC incarnation of Robin Hood belongs to Tiger Aspect, Foz Allan, and Dominic Minghella, not me.
I wrote this fic about a year ago in the midst of rewatching 1x03 "Who Shot the Sheriff?" right after watching the scene where Marian talks to Joe about the killings in the castle. I found it when I was going through some old files I thought I had lost, so I figured I'd put it up. I hope you enjoy it - don't forget to review!
"You still love 'im, don't you?" Joe asked her softly. Marian froze, her head still turned away. She could barely conceal the look on her face, much less everything she was feeling.
"No," she replied casually. Her tone gave too much away. She could never admit that she still loved Robin. Never. He was an outlaw now. She could not love an outlaw. Robin had doomed himself to death whenever someone finally caught him. She was not willing to put her heart in harm's way yet again. She could not bear losing him again, no matter how much that frustrating man got on her nerves. She could never admit to loving him. "Who?" she challenged, still unable to keep the smile from her face.
"Tell 'im," Joe replied. "Not that you ever see 'im, but tell 'im. Tell 'im that good people do still love 'im."
Marian could only nod as she tried to fight away the thoughts. She wanted to tell him. But that would be to admit to him that she did care for him. That would to say that nothing had changed when everything had.
She smiled at Joe and allowed the conversation to shift to another subject, her mind still on Robin. How was it that when she had waited five years to tell him that he had lost his chance with her only to discover that her anger melted away when he turned his eyes on her. How could she tell him that she still wanted the future they had planned together, even after so long?
She couldn't. She simply could not tell him that. She could tell him that some people still had faith in him.
As she walked back to her room a little while later, she still could not get Robin out of her thoughts. He was not the killer, that she was sure of. She had seen him through the trees when Joderic had been killed. Robin was nothing if not honest, she would allow him that.
But he was also stubborn. He also refused to listen to her. He was infuriating.
Perhaps that was part of the reason she still loved him – because he challenged her and made her frustrated in an endearing way. If it wasn't for him, she would not be who she had become.
Marian closed the door to her room behind her and locked it, trying to rid herself once again of the wish that Robin had not left. Part of her also wished that he was not an outlaw. That would have given him a chance. It would have given them a chance. At the very least, they could have been friends again.
She paused by her window, looking out at Nottingham for a long moment. She did love him. She would never tell him, but she did. They were forbidden now, by his own choice. They could never be, no matter how much either of them would wish it.
Letting out a soft sigh, Marian pushed those thoughts away again. To admit that she still loved Robin like that was a weakness that could be discovered. It could get her killed if anyone found out.
Have faith, Robin, she thought, wishing he could tell him. She knew he was likely even more frustrated than now. You will never be unloved as long as some of us still have faith in you.