"And that's all he said?" Jaesoon was rubbing my back while I forced myself not to cry.

"Yeah, and then he turned around and walked back into the elevator and left me standing there like an idiot," I struggled to form stable words, "I finally tell the guy I love him, because I do, guys, I really do. And now he doesn't know what to do with me. It's like I got leprosy or something."

"This is very typical Doojoon behavior," Jiyoon said and sighed, "I think he had a lot of influence on what Dongwoon said." We all looked at her. "He's being a baby because he's hurt. Rather than actually letting you SEE that he's hurt, he's going to ignore you."

"You and Doojoon are close?" Miyeon asked suspiciously.

"Not really," Jiyoon coughed.

"But I told him I love him," I put my face in my hands, like putting all this pressure on my head was going to let me let it go somehow.

"Alright, ladies, we have to get back to practice," the choreographer said. He was less frustrated now, and everyone seemed better after the break. Everyone except me. If anything, I was worse. A hangover felt good compared to feeling so awful about how bad I screwed up with Dongwoon. I constantly checked my phone for him to change his mind.

At about 2:30, my phone buzzed. I checked it immediately, but was let down. It was from Sungyeol.

( Hey… I don't know what happened last night. I guess we need to talk about it. )

I felt bad. In my selfishness, I had completely forgot about how Sungyeol was feeling.

( What do we need to talk about? :S )

I was nervous in his reply. I wasn't prepared to hurt him, and if he likes me, then it would just make me feel worse about everything.

"Jinhwa, please put the phone away," Jiyoon said nicely. We were almost done with our dance practice and I was finally getting it down.

"Jinhwa, come here," the choreo said, "everyone else take a break."

Great. He's going to yell at me because I keep sucking.

"I'm not going to yell at you," he opened the door to the hall, "I just want you to listen to me."

We got outside the building, in the fresh air. I'll admit, I already felt better. Being cooped up in a room of mirrors was anything but helpful.

"I know it feels like crap, whatever kind of drama you've got going on," he began, lighting a cigarette for himself, "Believe me, I know that sometimes shit gets out of control. But if you want some advice?" he took a drag and blew it out away from my face, "That should make you focus even harder on your work up to your debut. It's the best way to get a grip on every situation that you're in."

"So what you're saying," I paused and pouted in thought, "by working hard and focusing, I can gain control of everything else?"

He shrugged, "I don't know about that… but it'll definitely give you something else to think about."

I sighed, "I just know that my debut is so far away, and nothing I do to work hard can change that," I sighed and looked at my feet. I could only smell cigarettes. I felt like he was trying hard to make me feel better. He gave me a very awkward hug and patted the back of my head.

"Trust me, Jinhwa, it's going to get better. Hell, it might even get worse before that. But it always, always, gets better."

When we returned to practice, I decided to send Dongwoon a text.

( When you want to talk again, let me know. I'll be waiting. )

Later, I read four texts Sungyeol sent while I was at practice.

( You know what we need to talk about… )

( That kiss… )

( What was up with the kiss? )

( I don't want to lead you on but I don't know if I'm interested in that kind of relationship… )

Great. Not only do I have to deal with Dongwoon, I now have to deal with a weird situation with Sungyeol. Right as I was thinking about it, he texted me again.

( I can tell you have feelings for Dongwoon, and me texting you probably doesn't help whatever situation you guys are in now… If you get a chance, though, call me. )

I let out a huge sigh. Song-E looked at me, concerned, but she was about to walk out the door. She and Gikwang were going on a date, after all.

"You look so pretty, unni," I said with a genuine smile.

"Really?" she smiled, "You really think so?"

I nodded, "You're going to make him pass out."

She laughed, "Thanks, Jinhwa. What about you? Are you doing anything tonight?"

I shook my head, "I'm going to go to sleep. I'm exhausted."

"You've had a rough day, hunya," she patted my cheek, "It's going to be okay." I wished I could believe her.

When she left, I stayed in my room. I didn't want to talk to Sungyeol. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I spun my phone around on my hand, unable to fall asleep. I couldn't eat anything, even when I tried. It was like there was a huge part of me missing, because there was.

There was a knock at the bedroom door, and I heard Jaesoon's concerned voice, "Jinah? It's us… can we come in?"

"Sure," I mumbled. They opened the door and Miyeon immediately turned the light on and started going through my closet.

"We're not going to have you be upset like this."

"Get out of bed."

"Unnis, no," I covered my eyes from the light, "I'm tired."

"We're going out to dinner. Get dressed," Miyeon threw some clothes on the foot of my bed."

"I'm not hungry," I said truthfully.

"Then you can come watch us eat, we're starving," Jaesoon held her stomach and pouted.

"And someone," Miyeon glared at me, "chose not to cook tonight."

"Who else will be there?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"Just a couple friends," Jaesoon said, trying not to smile.

"Sungyeol won't be there, will he?" I groaned.

"No, he's busy," Miyeon smiled, "Sunggyu, Dongwoo, and Hoya will be there, though."

"Hoya?" I raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"I knew that would motivate her," Miyeon looked at Jaesoon and patted my leg, "Get dressed. We're leaving in 20 minutes."

I wanted to be excited. I wanted to primp and be girly, be pretty. I forced myself into the clothes Miyeon picked out and put some makeup on. Twenty minutes later, we really were walking out the door. That never usually happens. We're usually late.

"You look great, Jinah," Jaesoon said, "Thanks for coming with us."

"You can't just go and stand Hoya up, I would've forced you to go," Miyeon said. Jaesoon gave her eyes and she continued, "What? She can't expect to feel better by staying at home and pouting!"

"Miyeonie, be nice," Jaesoon nudged her.

"No, she's right," I nodded, "I gotta get Dongwoon off my mind."

"Who's Dongwoon?" Miyeon asked with a smile. I had to let myself smile, too. I couldn't let this get to me.

We met up with Sunggyu, Dongwoo, and Hoya in a restaurant I'd never been to. We had to take the subway just to get there, which was strange because we both lived relatively close to each other. Maybe they were scared of being recognized.

"Miyeon-ah!" Sunggyu waved to us over to their table. Jaesoon was already making her way over to Dongwoo. Hoya turned and smiled, waving to the three of us.

Oh my god, he's so cute, I kept thinking to myself, my inner fangirl trying to escape. Oh my god, he's standing while we sit, what a gentleman.

"Good evening, ladies," Dongwoo said as he stood up to hug Jaesoon, "How are you tonight?"

Jaesoon smiled, "A little tired, but I'm good now."

"Now, eh?" Sunggyu teased and sat back down. I was surprised how good everyone's manners were.

"Me, too," Dongwoo said and smiled at Jaesoon.

"How about you, Jinhwa?" Hoya asked as Miyeon and Sunggyu dove into a conversation they were having before and Dongwoo and Jaesoon got talking about ATM's new dance.

I stirred my glass of ice water with a straw, "I'm alright. So what convinced you to tag along with lover boy one and lover boy two?" I asked before taking a sip.

"They said you'd be here, too," Hoya said, smirking like I was purposefully asking to get that answer. Like I knew he'd be coming all along.

"Really?" I laughed, and felt my face get a little red, "I didn't even know I was going until about 45 minutes ago."

Hoya's smirk fell and he looked embarrassed, "That's funny, heheh," he took a sip of water, "So what convinced you to come?"

I could lie and say it was because of him, but I didn't, "I had a really bad day that I'd like to forget about."

"So I'm assuming you don't want to talk about it?" Hoya said shyly. I had to fight not to stare into his eyes.

"No, not really," I forced a small chuckle.

Hoya cleared his throat, "Is it about Sungyeol?"

"Did he tell you?" I involuntarily glared.

"So I'm guessing that's a yes," Hoya bit his lip nervously.

"Yah, why are you asking me? I said I don't want to talk about it!" I said, genuinely angry.

"It's better than us inviting Sungyeol with us," he said teasingly, "Come on, Jinhwa, you were drunk so it was no big deal."

I paused, "It was a big deal to some people."

"Wait, do you really like Sungyeol?"

I rolled my eyes at how insensitive Hoya was being, "No, there were other factors. More to the story than what Sungyeol says."

"Sungyeol didn't say anything, Woohyun did," Hoya said, taking me seriously, "Don't get angry.. I didn't mean to piss you off."

I just stared into my glass of water until the waitress came over to our table.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked the other side of the table cheerfully. I looked off to the street, not really paying attention.

"Jinhwa," Hoya touched my hand, which took me back to reality, "What would you like?"

"Oh, I'm not hungry," I told the waitress.

"Jinahhh," Jaesoon said from the other side of the table, "Order something."

"No, no, it's fine. It'll just be a waste of money." I looked down and saw Hoya's hand was still on mine. My bias was touching me. Even if he had been pushy earlier, I could see this was his way of apologizing. He locked eyes with me for a minute, then smiled. My stomach flipped. Hoya shyly took his hand back. I knew for sure I was blushing. Miyeon could tell, too. She leaned to my ear and repeated herself from earlier.

"Who's Dongwoon?"

My stomach dropped. Dongwoon. Who was he? The one person I would trade everything to be sitting in front of me right now.