"She's my replacement, guys."
What? That didn't make sense. The four of us might has well have dropped to the floor. The silence in the room was literally the loudest silence I'd ever heard.
"What?" Song-E finally broke the silence with anger, "What do you mean she's your replacement?"
Jiyoon sighed, "I'm sorry, girls… This has been my favorite job ever, but… Nam PD has offered me a different position. Well, he sorta begged me to take it."
"What position?" Jaesoon whined, "Why are you leaving us?"
Jiyoon pouted, "Guys, I didn't go to school to be a idol manager.."
It was then that we all four stopped letting the world revolve around us for a second. We all knew Jiyoon graduated from university, but did we ever bother to ask her what she went for?
"I've been given the position of Director of Sales and Budgeting," she was trying not to smile, "I get my own office."
Miyeon laughed, "That's all you care about, isn't it? Your own office!"
"Is that what you wanted to do all along?" I pouted.
Jiyoon shrugged, "If you want me to be honest, yeah."
The four of us laughed, "You're not going to be able to keep it organized."
We teased her some more for the next few minutes before she made us get back to work. That didn't work for more than 20 minutes. We left vocal practice 45 minutes early.
The next few weeks stayed the same. Besides the fact that Areum was in-and-out observing our practices and schedules, nothing had changed yet. Turns out, Jiyoon needed to take another course before taking on the official position of Director of Sales, so she went to a night class once a week while continuing to take care of us. Most of the time, when Areum came in, she didn't speak to anyone. We tried being friendly with her a few times, but she seemed quite shy. Jiyoon promised she would warm up to us all, but the four of us were skeptical. It wasn't that she didn't seem nice or anything—we just felt like she didn't like us very much.
Amazingly, no pictures of Myungsoo and Song-E had surfaced yet. We chalked it up to the photographer not getting very good shots or something. Either way, Song-E was relieved. Even though she caused a hiccup in her relationship with Gikwang, she felt better because she had been honest with him about what happened. To this day, none of ATM knows what actually happened that made her so nervous about Gikwang seeing the photos, but we didn't bother to ask. For all we knew, it was part of the past. And if they eventually did come up one day, at least Song-E and Gikwang had moved way past it.
Dongwoon and I were spending less and less time together. Beast had announced their comeback date, and they were only a week or so from releasing their teaser. They were working harder than ever on music video filming, dance practicing, and promotion photos. I missed him more than ever at night. It was causing me to sleep less and less. Sometimes, he would be unable to sleep, too, and he'd call me. The closer their comeback got, though, the more tired he was and the easier it was for him to sleep.
I'm glad I wasn't alone, though. Song-E missed Gikwang like crazy, as well. Jiyoon never talked to us about her relationship with Doojoon, but we assumed she wasn't seeing him as much, either.
"What are you girls doing tonight?" Jiyoon asked after an easy dance practice.
"I'm going—" Jaesoon began.
"To see Dongwoo?" I asked bitterly.
She finished as if I hadn't interrupted her, "I'm going to see a movie with my little sister."
"Some of our friends called," Song-E said, referring to her and Miyeon, "so we're going to go hang out with them tonight."
I blinked. None of my family or friends lived here.
"Do you have plans, too, Jiyoon?" I asked, half hoping she didn't.
She bit her lip, seeming to read my expression, "You know I have my night class on Tuesdays."
"You can come with my sister and me, Jinah," Jaesoon offered.
"Or you could hang out with us!" Miyeon offered, "Our friends would love you!"
I laughed, "I think I'm going to jump on this opportunity to sleep while the dorm is actually empty. You guys can go have fun without me."
Truthfully, I just didn't want to be the source of the ever awkward "this-girl-is-in-my-group-and-I-felt-bad-for-her-so-I-brought-her-along-I-hope-that's-okay" look. I knew that Song-E and Miyeon's friends would like me, and I know I could have fun with Jaesoon and her sister. But I wasn't part of the original plans. Sleep sounded like a fun idea, anyway. After assuring the others that I would be fine by myself and they all got ready to go, I really did tuck myself into bed and tried to close my eyes.
My phone buzzed. I figured it was Dongwoon apologizing for the 12th time about how late he had to work tonight. But I was wrong.
( Hey, what are you doing tonight? I just escaped. )
It was Sungyeol. I hadn't talked to him since I told him I only wanted to be friends.
( I'm just laying around at the dorm. The unnis all had plans without me. T^T )
( Wanna chill? I can rent a movie and get some takeout. )
I smiled to myself. This didn't sound like too bad of an idea. Not because it involved seeing Sungyeol, though that was a plus. It was because we weren't going anywhere. We were going to eat and be lazy. That sounded like an awesome plan to me.
( Call me when you get close, I'll get out of bed to let you inside… f^_^;) )
I decided to text Dongwoon, simply because I missed him. I knew I probably wouldn't get an answer, but I know he'd read it. So I had to think of the best thing to say to make him smile.
( If you don't make some free time soon, I'm going to lose all my cooking abilities! )
To my surprise, he texted back a few minutes later.
( If I don't make some free time for your cooking, I'm going to starve. If I don't make some free time for you in general, I'm going to go crazy. I should be free Thursday night through Saturday afternoon. Do you wanna make plans? )
Did he even have to ask?
( I'll do anything. D: Just as long as I get to see you. )
I didn't get another text back. I'm sure I would later, but I knew he was busy right now.
I must have dozed off, because I woke up an hour or so later to my phone ringing.
"Is the door locked?" I answered, knowing it was Sungyeol.
"It sure is," he laughed, "I've been waiting out here for like 15 minutes, hurry up!"
"I'm sorry~~!" I said, rolling out of bad and toward the door without caring about my terrible selection of clothes. I was wearing a tank top and Dongwoon's sweat pants. I knew I looked ridiculous, but it was just Sungyeol. Me and him were just friends.
When I opened the door and saw him, the stupid bubbles came back. Why? Why did that happen with him? My stomach felt like someone dropped Alka Seltzer in it.
"Hi," he must've been laughing at my clothes, "Long time, no see!"
I practically jumped on him, "I missed you so much, oppa!"
He was surprised by my affection, pushing me inside despite my tight hug and dropping the takeout food on the counter. Once his hands were free, though, his long arms wrapped around me, "You never make time for me!"
"I haven't even been busy, but you never bothered even texting me!" I shrugged out of his hug and hit him on the chest.
"Yah, I'm not the only one with a working phone, hypocrite!" he teased and feigned hurt.
"Did you get a movie?" I started going through all the stuff he brought.
"I didn't see any movie places," he pouted, "I bought a video game though. Since all you have is Wii Sports."
"Don't hate, Miyeon and I are bowling champions," I laughed, "What game?"
"Super Smash Brothers," Sungyeol smiled hugely, "It looks like a lot of fun!"
We ate our crappy take out dinner while catching up on … well, everything. Sungyeol was even man enough to ask about Dongwoon. It felt like he was really here to be my friend. Afterwards we played video games for hours, until the other girls got home, even. They joined in on a few games before going to bed. By 12, Song-E convinced me it was time for bed and that Sungyeol should go home before his managers got extremely worried.
"I've had a fun night," I said honestly, "I really needed it."
"Of course," Sungyeol said proudly, "Don't hesitate to schedule another one of these."
"I'll talk to you soon, okay oppa?" I laughed while holding the door open for him.
He sighed, "I know I'm about to ruin it—"
I got worried instantly, "Then don't."
"I have to say it," he said.
I stared at him, begging him not to say what I thought he was going to say. We had just had a really great night. I couldn't hear the words I know he was thinking. Because if he said them, after having such a good night with him and being away from Dongwoon, I would be too weak to fight anything off. Especially the tears that were already beginning to form.
"Actually," Sungyeol sighed, "I can't do that to you. It's not important, anyway… We make a couple of awesome friends."
With that, Sungyeol walked out. I watched him go down the stairs and out of the building. That was all he was going to say? No goodbye? No hug?
"Jinhwa?" Miyeon's voice came from the living room.
"Yeah?" I didn't realize it, but I'd been standing at the open door for over 10 minutes now.
"Are you okay?" she asked, shutting the door and locking it.
I sighed, "I don't think so."
"What's wrong?" she asked, worry soaking her already tired voice.
I just sighed and turned to go lay down. My phone was on my bed where I'd left it. I had 3 missed calls, all from Dongwoon. Two texts.
( Why aren't you answering? T^T )
( I guess you're catching up on sleep. I miss you a lot… and I love you. Please don't hesitate to call me as soon as you get this. I need to hear your voice. )