Positive. Positive. Positive. Positive. Positive. I moaned and punched the tiled wall, gritting my teeth. This couldn't be happening. Not now. Not with the threat of the Cabal hanging over us. Again! I touched the scar on my stomach and shook my head in horror.
"I'm not going to let them hurt you." I whispered. But I'd said that the last time. My baby shifted inside me. Healthy and alive. And I was going to keep them that way.
"Daniella?" I heard Cammy call. I looked up as she stepped into the bathroom. "I'm on my break." she explained and glanced at the tests I'd tossed in the trash.
"They're all positive." I whispered, glaring at the topmost test. Cammy tried to hide her smile. "Yeah, go ahead." I grinned with a laugh. Cammy squealed and threw her arms around my neck.
"The timing could have been better, but I'm so happy for you!" she stepped back and grinned widely.
"Yeah, I'm happy too." I touched my stomach, the faint bump of the scar protruded from my otherwise flat belly. The terror I'd felt the first time, the pain I couldn't shake, it all came flooding back and I froze where I leaned against the wall.
"Will you tell Trace?" she wondered.
"Not right now. I'll let the Cabal thing fade a little bit, then I'll tell him. He'll probably notice before I tell him though. The curse of living with a doctor." I smirked and shook my head. "Don't work too hard Cam." I hugged her and walked back outside.
Now that I knew I couldn't help but smile. Sure I was worried. Absolutely terrified that this time would be a repeat of the last time. But this was a part of me, and a part of Trace. I climbed into the car and looked down at my stomach. There wasn't any sign whatsoever of a baby yet except the slight hardness just under my naval. I pressed my hand to it and the baby shifted again.
"I'll protect you." I promised, and started the car. The ride home didn't take long enough, and I wasn't certain I was quite ready to face Trace yet. I knew he'd know something was up. The moment I stepped through the door he'd sense it like a motion detector. I had obviously been sitting there for too long, because I heard the front door open, and Derek appeared on the front porch. I took a deep breath and climbed from the car.
"You okay?" Derek called as I mounted the steps.
"I'm fine." I smiled and ruffled his hair as I passed him.
"Trace left about twenty minutes ago." I breathed a sigh of relief. "He told me I could tag along if I wanted." Derek folded his arms over his chest and lowered his eyes to the floor. I tilted his chin up.
"Derek, you're my brother. Not a rogue. If you want to run with the boys it's fine." I promised. Derek turned his face away.
"But I… I haven't learned how to control my Changes yet." he gritted his teeth.
"It'll happen soon Derek." I promised. "You'll feel it coming on and you'll find that you can suppress your wolf. It's hard at first. But after a while you learn when to let the wolf out, and when to keep it in." Derek pressed his lips into a thin line and he shrugged.
"What kind of emotions set it off? How can I learn how to suppress it?" he asked as we walked through the living room.
"What are you two talking about?" Tori asked from the couch.
"Wolf stuff." I grinned and she grimaced. "Chloe, I'll call my necromancer friend later." I smiled and she nodded with a grateful smile.
"Thank you Daniella." she smiled.
"Not a problem." I threw over my shoulder as I stepped into the kitchen. "Now as for your question," I turned to the fridge and pulled out a bowl of grapes and set them on the island as Derek sat down. "any strong emotion really. Anger, stress, fear. Sometimes even desire can bring out the wolf." Derek balked. "Oh, no, no. Don't worry. It's just the possessive side of our nature. You don't actually Change while you're…"
"Okay." Derek held up both hands. "As much as I love talking about this with my sister, I'd really rather not." I laughed and gave him a pointed look.
"You asked." Derek's blush deepened.
"We're not doing anything like that." he protested.
"Just because you're not doing anything now, doesn't mean you won't try exploring new things…"
"Yeah. I'm done." I caught his wrist when he turned for the door.
"I'm sorry Derek. There's just some things that you need to know. I know It's embarrassing, but at least you're not getting this from Kit." I felt the heat of my blush spread from my collarbone to my hairline.
"Oh, dear Lord!" Derek sat down with a laugh. "Yeah, I'd rather get this from you." he looked pained.
"Like I said, it's just the possessive side of our nature that comes forward. It's nothing to really worry about too much until you start getting more intimate." I shrugged and Derek's blush heated.
"Yeah. I've had health classes so we don't need to say anything else." he warned through clenched teeth. I rolled my eyes and turned to the back door when it opened.
"Hey Claire." I smiled and took the little bundle from her arms. She smiled tiredly.
"I hope you don't mind. I thought Sam could use some peace and quiet after his run last night." Clarissa looked positively exhausted.
"Go on upstairs Claire. You can take a nap." she looked too tired to protest. She kissed Stephanie of the forehead and disappeared upstairs.
"You look natural with her." Derek commented and a cold fear trickled down the back of my neck.
"Thanks." I smiled and swayed from side to side. "I'll have one of my own soon." I chomped down on my tongue when I realized what I'd said. How I'd said it. Dammit! Luckily my brother was completely clueless and remained ignorant to what the words implied. Or at least he didn't comment on it.
"You'll make a great mom someday Daniella." he patted my shoulder and looked down into Stephanie's face.
"Tell you what, after Clarissa takes her nap we'll go on a run together. We'll see if you can Change on command." Derek smiled.
"Sure." he grinned. I stepped into the living room and smiled when the girls cooed. "Women." he scoffed.
"Oh, shush you." Chloe laughed and took the Stephanie from me.
"Yeah, nothing's going on." I raised an eyebrow in Derek's direction and laughed when Chloe looked up, completely clueless. Derek was flushed a deep red and when Chloe looked up she flushed too and handed Stephanie back to me. I rested Stephanie against my chest and leaned back in the chair, grinning in Derek's direction.
"Hey Daniella, do you have a computer?" Tori asked.
"In the study just down the hall from the dining room." I nodded and she disappeared down the hall.
"I'm going to see what Simon is up to." Derek chuckled and headed upstairs. Chloe sat awkwardly on the couch for a moment, her lips pressed into a thin line.
"Will you hand me the phone Chloe? I'll call that necromancer friend of mine." she nodded and handed me the phone. She smiled as she watched Stephanie sleep on my chest. I smiled too and looked down at the black-haired baby. I could only imagine what it would be like to hold a blonde-haired little boy or girl to my chest as they slept.
"Daniella?" Chloe's voice broke me from my daydream and I shook myself.
"Yeah." I laughed at myself and dialed the number, waiting.
"Hello?" Mara said, her usual upbeat voice.
"Hey Mara, it's Dani."
"Oh, Daniella, so good to hear from you. What's up?" she asked politely.
"There's someone I want you to talk to." I smiled and handed the phone over to Chloe. She cleared her throat and introduced herself. She had quite a few questions, and she was on the phone with Mara for well over an hour. When she finally hung up she looked like I'd just handed the sun to her on a platter.
"Thank you Daniella." she smiled and I looked up when Clarissa came down the stairs.
"How was she?" she asked with a yawn and pulled her daughter close.
"A little angel." I smiled and moved towards the stairs. "Derek, want to run?" I called and he came bounding down the stairs. Chloe laughed and rolled her eyes fondly. "Come on." I giggled and we stepped outside.
"What do I have to do?" he asked, practically bouncing where he stood.
"First off, you have to calm down." I instructed. We stepped into the middle of the large front yard and I heard Chloe and Kit step out onto the front porch. Derek glanced back at them and I tutted, rapping him on the forehead with my knuckle. "Do you want to rip your clothes?" Derek rolled his eyes and slipped off his shirt. He gave me a pointed look that told me that was it. "Fine. Clear your head." I told him again. He took a deep, calming breath and closed his eyes. I began walking, circling him.
"That's not helping Dani." Derek murmured, his head turning so he could follow my footsteps.
"Clear your head." I snapped.
"How can I when you're circling me!" Derek rounded on me, his instinct to watch his back was too overpowering, even if I was his sister.
"Derek, you'll have to Change in a multitude of scenarios. If you can't Change when your sister is circling you, then you won't be able to Change at all. Now clear your head." I commanded harshly. I wasn't doing it to be mean. The stress was easy to mount in wolves, and if we didn't learn how to control it, we'd be bursting into wolves here and there at every little provocation. Derek huffed in agitation and closed his eyes, drawing in deep breaths.
"Must you do that?" Derek hissed as I started circling him again.
"I'm not going to attack you Derek. Ignore your instincts for the moment. Ignore everything." I watched as his face cleared, and as I walked around his back, I watched the muscles in his back twitch, preparing for an attack I wouldn't mount. "Clear your head." I touched his shoulder and smacked him upside the head when he rounded on me.
"I'm sorry!" He snarled. "But you're circling me, it's hard not to attack!"
"Of course it's hard." I took on a whining tone and rolled my eyes. "But I do it, Trace does it. My pack does it. Trace's mom and dad do it. You can do it too." I hit his forehead with my palm. "Now clear your mind. Ignore your instincts telling you I'm going to attack. Ignore everything and just breathe." I leaned closer to him and put my lips to his ear. "Think of Chloe. Think of her eyes Derek. Only her eyes." I instructed, using the same tactic I'd used on Chase when I'd taught him to control his Changes. The moment he'd thought of Rebecca he'd gotten it on the first try.
Derek took a deep breath and closed his eyes again. I continued to circle him, but this time there was no preparation for attack. He stood calmly, his arms loose at his sides, his palms turned up to the sun that streamed down on us.
"Good. Is your mind clear?" I asked in a soft tone. Derek nodded once and I stepped away from him. "Find your wolf." I murmured, still stepping back. "Let him out Derek." I smiled when I saw dark hair sprouting from his pores, the roiling muscles in his back, his spine working to realign itself. He was doing perfect. Five more seconds and he could complete his first self-induced Change. He dropped to his knees and cried out in pain, the black hair receded, and he lost his breakfast on the ground. I heard Chloe get up but I held up a hand to stop her.
"Get up." I told Derek. His entire body was shaking from effort. The stank of bile hung in the air, but it was only to be expected. "Did you focus on what I told you to?" Derek nodded and I rolled my eyes. "But you didn't clear your mind." he shook his head piteously. "Thought so. You didn't take your mind off the threat." he shook his head again. I grabbed him under the arms and yanked him to his feet.
"Daniella, maybe…" I glanced at Kit and he swallowed thickly.
"You didn't have to go through this Kit. You don't know how easy it actually is. Once he stops fighting it, he'll be able to control it." Derek looked up at me and I brushed back his sweat dampened hair. "Trust me little brother. It doesn't hurt so bad once you control it." I kissed his forehead and stepped back.
"They did something to me Dani." he shook his head. "I can't…"
"I was in the same place you were Derek. As was Brandon, from my pack. We Change nearly every day Derek. We can control it perfectly fine." I smiled reassuringly. "They didn't do anything to you."
His green eyes met my blue, and I saw the fear leak from them.
"Clear your mind. Find your wolf. It'll come naturally." I promised and he closed his eyes, his body relaxed, and he lifted his face to the sun again. I circled him and saw his muscles tense. "Clear your mind." I reminded him. He relaxed again and took a deep breath. I nodded and stopped behind him, letting a feral snarl rumble in my chest. "Ah-ah!" I chided when he tensed. Derek's arms were shaking again and I smacked the back of his head. "Clear it!" I snarled, and he grimaced, clenching his fists. "Clear your…"
"I know. I have to clear my head!" Derek roared.
"You're not doing a very good job of it." I shouted over him, and I turned for the porch. "If you're just going to yell at me, I'm not going to help you!" I snapped, smiling to myself. I knew my position would draw his eyes to Chloe. Air whistled through Derek's lungs as he took a deep calming breath.
"Daniella, I'm sorry. I know you're only trying to help." I turned and smiled.
"That wasn't so hard. Now clear your head. Locate your wolf." Derek closed his eyes and relaxed completely, his fell forward a bit. "Now, attack." I whispered and he dropped down, fur exploded from his pores, his legs straightened, his back jackknifed, and a sharp snap echoed around the clearing. Derek panted for a moment before he lifted his eyes to my own and I knelt down next to him.
"Very good Derek." I leaned my forehead against his temple. "Now, for the Change back." I laughed when he stared at me. "Oh, come on. It didn't hurt, did it?" he thought for a moment and glanced at me in surprise. "I told you. You'll get better with practice. It wont take nearly as long." I looked up at the porch where Chloe was smiling softly at Derek. He gave her a wolfy grin and loped up to the porch, bumping his head against her leg.
"Yes, you were wonderful. Next time don't yell at your sister so much." she rubbed his ear fondly and he turned to look at me.
"We'll tackle the Change back later. For now, let's go stretch our legs." Derek barked happily and followed me into the tree line.