A/N: So here is 13.. thanks so much for the love still.. I love waking up to over 100 messages in my mail box, makes me feel important.
Many of you have asked why Edward kept Tanya around after he realized.. simple. He is alone, no friends no Bella, no one. Tanya, although a dirty whore.. was the closest thing he had to comfort.
Ereeen, my wonderful beta.. lil mini Irish Spawn, I would glady allow you to destroy my uterus and imprint on my best friend anyday!
Songs I listened to that may or may not fit for this chapter.
Brick- Ben Folds Five, Remembering Sunday- All Time Low, The Adventure- Angels and Airwaves, Slow Motion- David Gray, Pain- Jimmy Eat WOrld
AND!! By far the most amazing news EVER.. This story has been nominated for two awards in the AU human round.. Best Angst and Best Love Triangle... Go to the following site wwwDOTtwilightawardsDOTthis-paradiseDOTcom and make sute to check out and vote. I love all of you for the support and kind words and to those who nominated this story.. you mean the world. You have no idea what it means to me.
BPOV
It had been a month since I had seen Edward at the club; a month since I hurt Jacob.
Things with Edward were still the same. He would call and try to talk to me, but he was almost always intercepted by Jasper or Alice. They started having longer talks with him, and I was hoping that was a sign of good things to come.
Though I wasn't speaking to him for the sake of my sanity, I didn't want him to be alone. He needed someone too, and if what Jake had told me about Tanya was true, he would certainly be all alone soon enough.
Jake and I had taken a break from seeing each for about a week. He was an amazing person, but I was so embarrassed and mad at myself for hurting him that it was extremely awkward to be around him.
He showed up on Alice's door step one day and said that our tiff was forgotten and that he missed our friendship. I took that moment to let him know that from this point on my friendship was all I was capable of giving. I still hadn't healed and I didn't want to repeat another moment of weakness.
He agreed, and continued to help me develop sharper skills in the art of photography.
I had received some offers to take pictures from people who had seen my work, and I was completely shocked. I thought Jake was just playing out a grand gesture by mounting some of my photos, but apparently to some, I was pretty damn good.
Recently, I had been feeling a little under the weather and couldn't seem to get rid of this weird stomach bug I had. My stomach was killing me constantly, but I ignored it. It would pass.
Word of mouth was working wonders for me and my photography, because I was getting called all the time to book shoots. So much so, that I was able to support myself instead of leeching off of my friends.
I was sitting at the desk in the guest room looking over my calendar one day when my phone began to ring. It was another person who wanted to book me, only this time for a wedding. How cute.
As I looked over the appointment book trying to see where I had an available time, something occurred to me and I stopped breathing for a painful second.
This could not be right. No. No. No…
I flipped franticly through the pages of the book, dropping the phone in my haste as the possibility that this really could be happening sunk in.
Oh my god, no. Please, no.
I heard the person on the other end of the phone asking if I was still there in a rather perturbed tone.
With trembling hands, I picked up the phone and quickly took their info down in a daze before hanging up. I dropped the phone to the floor, not even wincing when I heard a sickening snapping sound.
This could not be happening. It would be too cruel.
I couldn't be.
What would I do; what could I do?
Stress. I have just been under a lot of stress. That had to be it.
No matter how many times I tried to talk myself into it being just stress delaying the inevitably, I knew the possibility of me being pregnant was a possible reality. We hadn't used anything. I don't know why I hadn't thought about that before now.
In the midst of all the drama, it must have just slipped my mind.
I grabbed my keys and headed to the store. I couldn't be pregnant. I needed to prove that to myself and let that be that. Once I knew for sure, all would be alright. The world could continue to turn.
I made it to the store and headed straight to the pharmacy section where they stocked the pregnancy tests.
Of course there would be fifty different brands of the same thing. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration and grabbed the one that was closest to me, and hurried to the self checkout line so I wouldn't have to deal with a judgmental cashier giving me strange looks.
Once I was home, I ran straight to the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. Everyone was still gone, and I was thankful for that. I didn't want anyone here when I found out; I needed to do this on my own.
I pulled the rectangular box out from the bag and ripped it open. I pulled out the stick that was wrapped in its own package and found the instructions, following the steps just as they said. A smiley face for yes and a sad face for no.
Clever.
Once I had accomplished the awkward task of attempting to position a small stick at a suitable angle in my stream of pee, I laid the test on the counter and went into the bathtub and drew knees close to my chest.
How would I deal with being pregnant? Would he care? Would I even tell him? How could I raise a baby alone ?
All these things flashed through my mind as I waited to read the results. I couldn't think clearly. All I could see was a baby with auburn locks and chocolate brown eyes.
I don't know how long I sat there thinking of all the things that would happen if I was indeed pregnant with Edward's child, but I pulled myself out of those thoughts when I had reached the five minute mark.
I slowly pushed myself out of the cold porcelain tub and crept over to the counter with my eyes closed. When my thighs made contact with the cool tile, I knew it was the moment of truth.
I fumbled around the counter, feeling blindly for the test with my hands while I kept my eyes closed tight. I finally made contact, and with a finale breath I opened my eyes and looked down.
No. Smiley face. No. No. No. This was not a happy moment. Not at all.
My body started to shake, and I could no longer feel my legs. I finally collapsed to the floor as fear racked through my body in huge gushes.
It was positive. It just had to be positive.
Ripping sobs escaped my mouth and burned my throat from the assault my vocal chords were receiving. I tried to hold my hand over my mouth to silence them, but I couldn't control what was happening to me.
Just then, the bathroom door burst open and Jasper was pulling me into his arms in a flash.
"Bella," He tried shaking me. "What's wrong, what is it? Bella, look at me." He grabbed my face between his hands.
"Bella, what happened." Jasper asked again, but a little more firmly.
"W-what...am I...I don't know…what to do." I choked out, I could barely speak.
"Do about what?" He asked frantically, his eyes zipped across my pained face trying to understand my broken sentence.
I just shook my head, staring blankly at nothing.
He looked around the bathroom, searching to see if something had caused me to act like this and he spotted the source.
"Oh…" His jaw dropped as he slowly turned his head to face me.
"What am I going to do?" I cried, burying my face in his shirt
"We'll figure something out, Bella. I call Alice, she'll know what to do." He said as he combed his fingers through my hair.
Once I was calm enough for him to leave me alone, he walked me to my bed and sat me down. he left the room to call Alice.
I sat there with my knees pulled to my chest, rocking back and forth.
Edward would have to know he was the father. Would he want me to keep it? What if he wanted to get rid of it? Would I even be able to consider that?
If he didn't want anything to do with it and I kept it, what would I tell it later in life about it's father? How could I do that to a baby?
Would he be angry at me? Would this be just another reason why I wasn't worthy enough to be with him?
If he didn't want anything to do with me or the baby, how would I survive that type of heartbreak?
I don't know how long I sat there with these painful questions plaguing my mind, but eventually I felt myself being held in Alice's tiny embrace, and I was crying again. She just sat with me until I fell asleep.
"I don't want you…" His green eyes were cold and lifeless. Edward's face was colored with disgust as he took in my protruding stomach.
"You don't want me?" I whimpered, cowering under his deathly gaze.
"No." He said coldly, then turned and walked away.
I woke up screaming, bolting straight up in bed. I was drenched in sweat. It was a dream. But wasn't it the truth?
I looked over at the clock and it was only 5 a.m.
I put my hands on my stomach and thought of the life that was growing inside of me. What would it look like? Was it a boy or a girl? Would it have my hair and Edward's eyes? How would I live having to see a miniature copy of the man I loved for the rest of my life? Would I take this out on the baby?
I couldn't.
It would be the best parts of Edward and I.
I started rubbing circles on my stomach.
"You will be loved, I promise you. No matter what, I will always love you." I said to the life within me as my voice cracked.
I continued rubbing circles on my stomach until I drifted off to sleep again.
I was woken up by Alice laying beside me and playing with strands of my hair.
"Morning, sleepy head." She put on a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes
"Hey." My voice croaked sleepily.
"I made you a doctor appointment first thing in the morning tomorrow."
"That's good."
"Bella," She looked at me as if to prepare me for what she was about to say. "We should call him…he should know, he should be here for you. He would want to be here, I know he would."
"NO Alice," I sat up immediately. "He can't know, not yet."
"Bella, Edward has done some messed up stuff in the past, but he would want to know. He does love you Bella, I know it. He would want to be here for you." She assured me.
"I can't, Alice. I can't let him know. Not right now, please." I pleaded with her.
"I-I don't know." She looked off as if having an eternal battle with herself.
"Alice, I promise, I will call him, I'll tell him, but right now. Just let me adjust to the shock, alright? Let this set in, and then I'll call him." I begged her to understand.
"If you're sure…" She said defeated.
"I am, just a little time to get used to this." I assured her with a small smile.
"You're going to be a Mom." Alice said, trying to make it sound like a happy event.
"Yeah, I guess I am." I said monotoned.
"Wait, you are, right? You plan on keeping it?" She questioned, suddenly unsure what I was going to do.
"Yes, it isn't the baby's fault I messed up. Maybe this baby will be a good thing for me. It will be a part of him I will always have." I tried to think positively.
"I guess." She answered quietly as she chewed her bottom lip.
"It's all I have left, Alice. This baby is the last thing of Edward I have."
She looked at me wide eyed and sad.
"Yeah…"
We laid there together staring at the ceiling and not speaking. Eventually, she had to leave, and I stayed in bed slowly becoming more comfortable with the idea of being with a child.
Edward's child.
I finally fell into a dreamless sleep after hours of staring at my favorite wall.
When I woke up, it was seven in the morning.
Instead of nightmares, I had dreams of how it would be if I told Edward I was pregnant. He reacted excitedly as he whirled me around and kissed me, telling me what a fool he was, and that he loved me. Everything felt so happy, so wonderful.
But, it was only a dream. I was too afraid to tell him. I would rather live a the dream world rather a nightmare.
I pulled myself out of bed trying to push the thought of telling Edward to the back of my mind as I got ready for my doctor appointment. I just wanted to make sure I was okay, that I wasn't doing anything that could harm the baby. Thinking back, I knew I had drank pretty heavily… I don't think that would have any effect, at least I hoped not. I knew nothing about children.
Alice was coming with me to this appointment because I needed someone there for support. Once I had something to eat, we headed out the door and to the doctor.
We sat in the waiting room quietly. The nurse at the desk had handed me a clipboard to fill out my information; previous pregnancies, last menstrual cycle, STD's and so on.
After I handed the lady at the desk my clip board, I went and sat back next to Alice.
"Stop fidgeting, Bella, all will be ok." She said, putting a hand on mine.
"I know, just nervous." I said biting my lip.
"I'm here, it'll be alright. I promise." She squeezed my hand reassuringly.
We sat in silence as we watched patients being called back.
Then, I heard my name.
I froze as Alice stood. She turned to me and stretched her hand out to me and pulled me up.
Once behind the door, the nurse greeted me nicely and asked me to step on the scale.
After weighing me and writing that down in her charts, she turned to me.
"So, you took an at home test and had positive results?" She asked as she read over my chart.
"Umm… yes." I said nodding.
"Alright," She picked up a plastic cup. "just go in the bathroom there and give me a sample. We will test it when you come out, and the doctor will talk to you then."
I took the cup from her and made my way to the cramped bathroom.
Once I was finished, I came out and handed the cup to the nurse. Alice and I then followed her back to a room where she told us to wait.
She left me and Alice alone and I just sat there rocking back and forth on the examining table. I was bouncing my leg and it was causing the paper to make a crinkling nose. Alice placed her hand on my leg and told me to calm down.
The doctor entered the room and was looking over my charts.
He glanced up with a quick smile.
"Hello Ms. Swan. I'm doctor Hall, I see you have missed your period and took a home pregnancy test and received a positive result?"
I simply nodded.
"Well, it doesn't happen often, but those things aren't one hundred percent accurate. Sometimes you can have false positives, which seems to be the case with you. The test we ran here came back negative. You're not pregnant."
I looked to Alice as tears started to well up in my eyes, and she stood up and grabbed my hand tightly.
"Are you sure?" She asked the doctor with narrowed eyes.
"Yes, I'm sorry." Dr. Hall answered with a sympathetic smile. "I can do a full examination, or if you are looking to become pregnant we can talk about-" I cut him off quickly.
"No, I'm sorry, I would just like to go now." I stood up holding my arms across my waist, trying not to fall apart.
I needed to get out of there.
"Of course." He wrote something down on his board and pulled off a piece of paper, telling me to hand it to the lady in the front.
I grabbed the paper and hurried out to the front desk. After handing the paper to the office assistant and she gave me the okay, I flung the office door open and I ran out to the car.
Alice was at my heels, and once she reached me, I collapsed into her arms.
"Bella, it's okay." she tried to reassure me with a small laugh. She rubbed soothing circle into my back.
"It was my last hope, Alice. It was all I had left, it would have been a part of him with me forever." I cried as tears began to blind my vision.
"Bella, he isn't gone. Things will work out, I just know it. You just need to see it."
"Things are never going to be right again. This was the last hope and it is gone. Now I have nothing."
"You have lots, Bella! You have to stop doing this to yourself. Stop. A baby wouldn't have made him love you any more or less. It wouldn't have fixed anything, Bella. That's not what babies do."
She was right, but either way it still hurt. I just wanted to go home. I wanted this nightmare to be over.
EPOV
"And, Cut! That's a wrap folks!" The director shouted across a green open field. I released my lips from my costar and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before I walked away.
The cast and crew around me clapped and cheered, but I simply walked off the set and over to my P.A., Erin. She was waiting to drive me back to the hotel.
Angela had arranged for Erin to work for me. she was a petite little Irish girl with shoulder length black hair with red streaks and a huge personality. We both shared a similar obsession for horror films and gore. Erin seemed to be excited about getting a chance to work on a movie set and see how things were done. She was also itching to get her foot in the door with her own ideas. She was an amazing writer, and had recently finished a script for a zombie film. She had allowed me to read it after much begging and bribery from my side, but I didn't expect the girl to show such amazing talent. Her words jumped completely off the page I was reading and completely encompassed me in a world of gore and mayhem; I was thoroughly impressed. I made her promise me the leading role.
Erin and I had clicked instantly the moment we met. Something about her exuded warmth, and I was willing to pull myself to anything other than the cold that was my existence as of late. I think Angela may have set us up to be friends more than anything.
She knew I was in desperate need in that particular department.
I had been in Ireland for two weeks filming the period piece I had booked. Everyday was painful and difficult as I attempted to pull myself out of the funk I was in. I couldn't seem to focus on anything other then the obvious.
It had been a month since I saw Bella.
The last image I had of her was her being pressed into a booth by Jake touching her, kissing her; doing all the things that I longed to do, but would most likely never get the chance.
It was my own fucking fault.
I wasn't even alive anymore. I was basically just going through the motions. It took every ounce of energy I had to go to work each day. My performance with jobs lately had been so bad, that Angela had to put her foot down and tell me that if I didn't straighten up, she would have to drop me. She could no longer represent someone who was making a bad name for himself in the business.
So, I mustered up every ounce of will power I had and I forced myself to do what I was paid to do, and nothing more. But the moment that camera stopped rolling or the cameras stopped snapping, I was just a shell of what I once was. I was surviving, but I really didn't care to much to be honest.
"How was your day, champ?" Erin asked with the smile she always seemed to wear. I attempted to smile back as I got into the car. I began to get into the wrong side, but Erin whistled to get my attention and directed me to the other. I blushed at how blunt I was as an American, but Erin just shook her head and laughed.
"The usual." I finally answered her first question as I settled into my seat and stared out the window at the passing scenery.
"Hear from any of your friends?" She asked as she switched the radio to the Flogging Mollys. She gave an excited yelp and began nodding her head to the music.
I just shook my head back and forth. She already knew the answer. She knew my whole life thanks to the pub visit we had last night.
She snorted in response.
"You know, mate, you make it entirely too easy to pull the mickey out of you,"
I looked at her confused. Erin just flashed me a cheesy grin.
"What the hell does that even mean, you remind me of Christopher Walkins in that Blue Oyster Cult Skit on SNL."
Her slang made no sense.
"Oh, right. Right, I keep forgetting your American," She cleared her throat and ran a hand through her mismatched hair. "Translation; You are pathetic." She finished bluntly.
"Thanks, that makes me feel loads better." I snapped then went back to watching the passing scenery.
"I didn't realize that was part of my job description; To make you feel better, that is." She replied with a slight bite in her thick accent. That was one thing about Erin; she didn't care who you were, she'd put you In your place.
"Well, I highly doubt part of your job is to make me feel like shit." I answered through my teeth. I felt my nostrils flare. Anger and sadness. Those seemed to be the only two prominent emotions I had now.
"Aww, is me being honest hurting your weetle feelings?" Erin asked in a mocking tone. "Listen, boyo, I don't lie. And when I see someone like you, who seems to be a pretty good guy, fack up and already facked situation and does nothing to prevent it seem to be on the over exaggerated side."
"I can't fix my situation if she won't even talk to me."
"Then you make her talk to you. Jesus, and I thought Americans were better than the fack faces around here. From what I understand, she has been the one all these years waiting for you to step up…so facking step up already."
"It's not that easy. she doesn't want anything to do with me."
"Oh, be a chancer! Fack!" Erin slammed her hand against the steering wheel in annoyance. I had to smile at her increase of the "f" word. It was wiped away as Erin continued her verbal assault,
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It isn't about you. You have done a number on this girl you call your best friend. You have to make a grand gesture; make it about her. Sitting around crying like a little flange isn't going to change anything. You're going to lose her. You know that right."
"What the fuck is a flange?"
"A CUNT, EDWARD. QUIT ACTING LIKE A CUNT."
" But, I have already lost her." I answered flatly. Erin rolled her eyes. Her cheeks and ears were tinged with red. She was annoyed, obviously.
"Maybe, but at least try." She said, trying to control the venom in her voice.
We fought like siblings. It's too bad I couldn't get over Bella. Erin was hot and angry sex would do wonders. I perished the thought. Bella was the only girl for me. Erin made sure I realized that at the pub.
"What do you suggest then, oh wise one?" I turned to her, asking sarcastically.
"I don't know. But this.," She swatted the air next to me. "is not it."
"How am I supposed to act, then? I can't breath, I can't sleep, I can't do anything. I'm barely alive here, Erin!"
" Um, you're supposed to act like a facking man and own up to what has happened. Cut the bollocks and prove to her that you were a complete wanker and get her back! Beg if you have to. Don't just give up, if you truly love this girl, you fight until there is no more fight left." Erin finished passionately. I smirked at her.
"I don't think life is as easy as Love Actually, Erin."
"UGH, you know what? If you're just going to shoot down anything I say and make excuses as to why it won't work without even trying it first, why should I even bother." An annoyed hiss escaped her red lips. " Be a little pansy then. Sit in your little dark hotel room that you've turned into a bat cave and wallow in your own self pity while listening to your shitty excuse of music, and watch the girl that you claim to love find someone else. You will have no one but yourself to blame."
"I already blame myself." I mumbled. We continued the rest of the way to the hotel in silence.
Erin pulled up to the front of the hotel, and I stepped out of the car.
"Bye, fackhole." Erin smiled at me sweetly.
I smiled back just as sweetly and leaned into her window.
"Bye, flange."
I made it to my room and plopped down on the bed. There wasn't much to do here that held any interest. Everything here would have been better if I had someone with me. Bella. Bella would be amazing, but being alone, there was no point to even try. So while I wasn't shooting, I was in my room, not reading, not watching T.V.
I was too busy being a flange, as Erin called it.
The rest of the cast would invite me to go do something, but I thought I would be too much of a downer, so I always declined their offers.
I had heard the director speaking one day to the assistant director. They were worried about my lack of chemistry with everyone else coming across on screen. They suggested we hang out and get to know each other. I just couldn't be bothered.
I was laying on the bed when my cell phone started to go off. The only person who called me on it was Angela, and she had probably received a set report about my shit acting and decided to call and yell at me. I wasn't up to being yelled at tonight.
I ignored it.
I started to doze off but was pulled from the clutches of sleep by my phone going off again. She would keep this up all night if I let her, so I grabbed it and was about to flip it open when I noticed the caller ID.
It was Jasper.
I flipped it open in a flash.
"Jasper!?" I said a little too excitedly. A friend was actually calling me! Erin's ovaries would drop!
"Hey, Edward." He said, sounding different. Sad.
"It's really good to hear your voice, man," I could feel my throat tighten. I cleared it quickly. "How is everyone?" How is Bella?
"Actually, that's what I called to talk to you about…" Jasper sounded as if he were trying to decide how to say what he needed to say.
"What's wrong? Is someone hurt?" I started to feel the panic rise. Was it Bella?
"Well, no…" I wasn't convinced.
"Jasper, man, spit it out." I couldn't take this.
"Bella's pregnant." He blurted out.
I dropped the phone as if it had shocked me.
Sphincter says what?
She was pregnant, by me? By my demon seed?
It was me, right? Thinking back quickly, I didn't think we used anything. I mean, it wasn't exactly planned and drinking never helps in that kind of situation. It wasn't like we were on a bear skin-
Oh god. I was going to be someone's father.
"Edward, Edward are you there?" I heard jasper yell into the phone.
"Yea, sorry, I kinda dropped the phone." I said after picking it up.
"I kind of figured." Jasper barked out a quick laugh. It stung my ear.
"When did this happen? When did she find out?" I couldn't stem the flow of questions that were pouring out my mouth.
Holy shit. Holy fuck. Holy…I'm going to be someone's father.
"I came home this afternoon and found her crying on the bathroom floor. She had taken a home test, and it was positive. Alice made her an appointment. She is going to get checked out, and she is freaking out a little bit."
"I've got to come home." I breathed into the phone as I sat down on the bed. My fingers raked through my hair nervously.
"No man, there isn't anything you can do right now."
"Jasper, if she is pregnant with my child, I am coming home and I am going to make her talk to me. I love her, I can't let her go through this alone."
"It won't make anything better man, she was just starting to heal when she found this out. You don't love her the way she wants, just let her heal first." He begged.
"I don't think you understand, Jasper. I am in love with her. I was so stupid, I didn't see it, and now I do and it's fucking torture. I can't breath without her; I need her to forgive me." I needed him to understand that I did love her like she loved me, like she had wanted, like I had wanted, but never knew.
"Wait, what?" He asked confused.
"I was a fool. I missed it all these years. she is my soul mate, Jasper. I can't live without her. She needs to know I love her." Before it was to late, if it wasn't already.
"When did you figure all this out?" He questioned.
"Well, Jake paid me a visit and told me and made me see what an ass I was. I went to see her art work and it just clicked. I wanted to tell her that night at the club… but fucking Tanya ruined it."
"I'd say." He gave a light laugh.
"Well, she has been done with since that night. I told her it wasn't working for me…and I haven't spoken to her since." Thank god, I never realized how annoying she actually was.
"That's good to hear." He said, sounding unsure what to think.
"Ok Jasper I have to come home." I said getting back to the topic at hand.
"Edward, Alice can help her. She'll be okay." He tried to explain.
"No, this has gone on long enough. she's pregnant and she must be so scared and feel so alone. I have to be there for her. I want her to know I love her, that I need her." I wanted us, I needed us.
"Yeah, I guess…how are you going to leave when you're filming?"
"I don't know. I'll work something out. I will call you when I get in, okay? I am going to try to leave tonight."
"Alright, I guess, have a safe flight."
I hung up the phone and immediately dialed Erin. She was the only person who I could think to help me.
"Cullen," she greeted frostily. "Do you need a dou-" I cut her off quickly.
"Erin, I have to fly home like now."
"What are you talking about?"
"Bella's pregnant, I have to go now. Help me get out of here."
"Bloody hell…wait, what are you going to tell production? They aren't going to let you go, not for that."
"I don't give a damn what production says! I have to get home. Can you call and see if there are some flights leaving in the next hour or so that will get me home, I don't care how, but I need to get home now."
She was silent for a few moments.
"Erin," I pleaded, trying to figure out a way to convince her. "I swear to God if you don't help me I will not turn in your script. I Swear it to you." I threatened, hoping it hit home.
It did. I heard a soft "Fack" and "Bastard" spew from her lips. My heart leaped with joy.
"I'll get right on it. I'll be there as soon as I'm done with the info."
"Wonderful, wonderful spitfire!" I gushed into the phone excited.
I received a scoff in response.
I threw a few things into a bag I had. I didn't really need to, but it gave me something to do until Erin got here with my flight information.
I paced around the room thinking of what I was going to say to her. Everything would be alright, she would be fine if she could just know that I was there for her and that I loved her. We would get through this together.
My thoughts were interrupted.
There was a loud hard knock on my door, and I ran to it slinging it open. A cherry red Erin stood before me with a smirk playing across her lips.
"Erin, tell me you did it?"
"Sure did! You better hurry too there isn't much time. Did you tell production? Anyone?" She asked then gasped when I picked her up into a bone crushing hug.
Savior. This lady was my savior.
"No, there isn't anytime." I grabbed my bag off the bed with Erin still wrapped securely in my arms. I ran through the opened door and slammed it behind me. I had an excited smile ringing across my face. I felt Erin's fingernails tap on my shoulder, so I finally let her down.
"You know, this could be the end of your career right? You leaving without them knowing will spread. No one will want to hire you."
"It doesn't matter. This isn't about me, it is about Bella. She needs me. None of this compares to her."
Erin flashed me her familiar toothy grin.
"'Atta Boy." She said slapping me on the back.
We finally left the hotel and made it to the airport with thirty minutes before boarding thanks to Erin's manic driving. She wished me good luck as I hopped out the car.
"Way to make that grand gesture." She said with a wink, waving goodbye.
I headed to the counter to pick up my tickets and info, and then through security to wait to board.
Time seemed like it was going by at a snails pace, and I was becoming uber impatient as I continued to tap my foot as the minutes passed by. All I wanted to do was get to Bella. I needed to let her know everything would be fine. I needed to tell her that I loved her, that we could make this work.
I was going to be someone's father.
I was going to be in charge of someone else's life.
But hopefully I would be with Bella. Once she gave me a chance, once I was able to explain, then we would be fine, we had to be. It would take work, I wasn't stupid. I know what I had done to her must have killed her, and I knew that it wouldn't be easy and she was probably scared, but it could work. We were Edward and Bella, we would make it work.
This baby may have been made from a shitty situation, but I knew that both it's parents loved it and each other very much. It would help bring us together.
The plane started to board, and once I had my bag in the overhead I sat and stared out the window.
I was finally going to see Bella, finally have a chance to talk to her. To fix things, let her know that I was head over heels in love with her.
I couldn't wait.
In all my thinking of what could be and what would happen, I fell into a deep sleep.
I was awoken by the stewardess placing her hand on my shoulder letting me know we were landing.
In what seemed like forever, the plane taxied and everyone made their way off the plane.
I ran for the extended parking garage where I had left my car and threw my bag in the back seat and took off towards Alice's.
My breathing was unsteady as I thought about seeing her, the woman carrying my child.
I'm going to be someone's father. Holy shit.
I felt a small smile grow across my face.
I turned on my phone and almost immediately it started to ring. I saw it was Jasper and opened it right away.
"Jazz man, I'm here and I am on the way to your house… About twenty minutes." I said in a rush of excitement and fear all mixed into one.
"Edward, can you pull over somewhere?" he asked warily.
"What's wrong, Jasper? Oh god, is Bella ok? Is the baby ok?" I asked frantically. I felt my heart plummet.
"Edward, pull over." Jasper said sternly.
"What the hell is going on, Jasper? Tell me now. what the hell is wrong?" What could it be? I couldn't take this.
"Bella went to the doctor this morning," He started.
"Yes, and? Don't do this to me." Why was he torturing me?
"The test she took at home was wrong, Edward. She isn't pregnant."
I felt like I had been hit in the stomach. I was going to physically sick.
"Edward, the test was positive; I saw it. She really thought she was pregnant. She isn't doing too great at the moment. I don't know if you should come by or not."
I pulled off to the side of the road and parked the car. I bit my bottom lip and felt my chin tremble. I wanted to scream.
I wasn't going to be a father after all. Relief, right?
"I'll just go back, I don't want to upset her more then she is already." I said quietly fighting the tears.
"Maybe it would be okay, maybe if she knew you were in love with her now it would make things better?" Jasper tried to explain, but it came out more like a question.
"It wouldn't, what if she resents me for putting her through this?" How could she not.
"She doesn't know you know. I wasn't supposed to tell you. She didn't want you to know until she figured things out. I-I just don't know what to do." This couldn't be easy on him either, on any of them. This was all my fault, look what I had done to all of us.
"I won't come." I said and my voice cracked.
"Edward, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done this to you."
"No, I had the right to know, I wanted to be there for her."
"Then be there now. Forget what I said, come be with her." He pleaded.
"I can't, it will only make things worse for her, I can't hurt her, not anymore. I never meant to hurt her, Jasper."
"I know Edward, just come here, let her know you love her, show her."
"I'm going to give her time. I won't put her through anymore pain then she is now, that is what I would be doing."
"But, Edward-" I cut him off.
"I'll talk to you later, I have to go."
I shut the phone and threw it to the floorboard of the passenger seat. I wrapped my arms around the steering wheel and buried my face into them.
This couldn't have been our last hope.
A/N : Had you thinking they were going to go all BD on ya didn't you.. pssh.. I had this planned before the demon spawn.