**Maybe he arrived and never left.**
Lisbon sought Jane's gaze as she registered his meaning. "I didn't see a car," she said quietly.
He glanced around them. "Neither did I."
"Stay," she ordered, unsnapping her holster. "I'll trace the perimeter and meet you right back here." She drew her weapon and emphasized with her hands: "Don't. Move." He raised his eyebrows and nodded too seriously at her next words: "Yell if you see anything suspicious."
A minute and a half later, she reappeared at Jane's other side. He didn't need to ask if she'd seen anything. She shook her head slightly. "Something's off, though. It's been long enough for the local authorities to show and they haven't." She turned toward the unlocked door. "Let's test your disabled alarm theory."
They entered the building cautiously, despite the fact that Jane's initial foray hadn't produced any surprises - or violence. Lisbon kept her weapon drawn as she expertly swept the storeroom area and the rest of the premesis. It didn't take long. The dining space was basically one big open room free of privacy dividers, with picnic-style tables and a food bar near the kitchen. A sign read 'Sows and Sires' over a swinging door on the north side. Late-day sunlight filtered in through the windows and the main entrance. There was a faint odor of stale carpet and mop water. Lisbon checked out each of the restrooms and came back around to the kitchen, where the broom closet, refrigerator, grille and smoking station were also cleared. The only other door in the kitchen led to a cold storage unit with a faded caution sticker. A neatly torn piece of butcher paper was taped above the handle. Heavy permanent marker scrawled across it in all caps.
"Buddy system." Jane read aloud. He turned to her and grinned broadly. "Will you be my buddy, Lisbon?"
She had always been secretly amused at how much fun he was having when he was being mischevious. Well, maybe that wasn't such a secret. She had to fuss at him for a lot of things, but her entire team knew that sometimes it was just to keep up appearances. She was the boss. Cho, Rigsby and VanPelt could stand by and pretend to be ignorant of Jane's shenanigans. But Lisbon had to call him out on principal. Probably she meant it, too; at least half the time.
He could be incredibly aggravating (though in a different, less predictable way when he was feeling really low); but whenever he did something truly out of line, she was the first to remind her superiors that he closed more cases than anyone else at the Bureau.
She rolled her eyes, but one corner of her mouth quirked upward at the playful expression on his face. She pointed her chin toward the stainless steel door. "Open it."
He stepped forward and twisted the lever, giving a moderate tug to break the suction seal without opening the door all the way. There was a moment's hesitation, and then a whoosh of cold air poured out onto them. Lisbon gasped involuntarily. Jane dropped the lever on reflex, but caught it again before the door could fully close. "Whooo!" he shivered theatrically. Then he looked over his shoulder at her and whispered conspiratorially. "Shall we?"
"If there really is something hinky going on here, I can't imagine what we'll find in a meat locker." she deadpanned. They exchanged a knowing glance as Lisbon holstered her weapon. She braced herself for the full force of the chill as Jane began to pull the door wider.
"Wait!" he interjected. She jumped when he laid a hand on her arm. That pissed her off.
"Jane - "
"Look!" he insisted. "It's not a two-way handle." he quickly pulled and pushed on the door to show that there was no matching lever on the inside. She frowned, and Jane physically guided her to take his place at the door while his eyes were scanning the kitchen floor. He found what he was looking for under the nearest set of shelves and bent to retreive it, holding up a heavy rubber doorstop for Lisbon to approve.
"Isn't that some kind of code violation?" she asked. "How do they pass inspections?"
That was something to file away. Meanwhile, Jane dropped the rubber wedge at her feet and said: "Ladies first."
Lisbon hated being cold. She took a deep breath and handed him the lever, resolving to spend no more time in a gigantic freezer than was absolutely necessary. Jane hung back a moment, making sure the doorstop lived up to its name, then turned around and called after her:
"This is a good-sized meat locker for a small establishment." He stayed just inside the door. "Look at all these dead animals! I wonder if there's a mail-order service for Pete's... I'm not big on barbecue sauces, so I have no idea... Have you ever heard of anyone shipping food from this place?"
"I haven't. Rigbsy could tell us if he were here." Her voice, like the rest of her, was shaking with the cold. She turned around, hugging herself, ready to pronounce the area officially clear. She was about to say something to Jane about getting back to temperatures above the frozen Arctic tundra, but the cliched phrasing died in her throat as something registered across her face.
Jane saw the look and wasn't sure how he needed to react.
"Lisbon?" he prompted.
Then he followed her gaze to where it landed: on the floor to his right. He looked past hanging beef carcasses, and to his great surprise, he found that he was standing a few feet away from a freshly frozen corpse!
"Whoa-" He jumped back, startled, and collided with a metal shelf. Lisbon's initial shock turned to amusement as she saw a briefly disoriented expression cross his face. The shelf was on wheels, which Jane was also not expecting; he reacted, stumbling forward this time. She tried to stifle a laugh at his expense.
"Are you okay?" she inquired with empathy.
He reached out for a solid piece of wall, and kicked something out of place in the process. Resigned to embarrassment, he was still shaken. Lisbon really would have laughed this time - she had always been a sucker for slapstick - but she saw that he had unwittingly kicked out the doorstop that provided their only way out of the room.
The next instant the lights flickered, and the room plunged into darkness.
Momentarily stunned, they stood in their respective places without speaking. At last Jane brightly quipped: "Well. That explains the buddy system."