Chapter 5- Sunlight On a Broken Column

The high pitched sound of sirens still rang through the air. Ariadne had ripped her scarf off and thrown it into the wind…the metallic smell of blood had stained and ruined it. It would never remind her of her fifteenth birthday again…only the cries of James and Philippa and Cobb's lifeless body. Eames had been comforting Ariadne as Arthur and Saito's assistant fabricated a story for the cops. Since very few of Fischer's men had survived and Fischer himself rushed to the hospital, they were able to sell the story that it had been an attack on Saito's company. Arthur, Ariadne, Eames and the Cobbs were proven hostages and "employees" of the Japanese millionaire and Fischer would be arrested and sent to rehab after he was nursed back to health. Ariadne couldn't look as they wheeled the body bags of the small children passed her. The paramedics had taken Ariadne and ran a full check up on her as soon as they'd arrived. So far she and the baby's pulse was a normal rate, the lining of her womb was intact (only slightly bruised) and everything checked out fine in the pregnancy department. She was still roughed up. Arthur wanted her to go to an emergency appointment with the OBGYN but Ariadne refused, she just wanted to get home. It was all blurry: The trees, bushes, pastures. Ariadne had been staring out the window the two hour ride home and her mouth hadn't uttered a word. She didn't even cry…the pieces of her capable of that had already died and were wheeled off with James and Philippa she supposed. For her sake, Arthur hoped she'd fall asleep but he could see her reflection in the window. This girl was not Ariadne. This girl was a shell of her. He'd been glancing at her every couple minutes to see if she'd moved but she never did. At one point, Arthur had moved his hand on top of hers comfortingly but Ariadne pulled away, retreated further into the corner between her seat and the window. They pulled up in the parking area. Ariadne hadn't waited for Arthur to get out and open her door for her, she hadn't even waited for him to turn the car off before her seatbelt slid back and she dove out of her door. She let herself inside and cursed loudly when she stepped in the foul smelling sludge of food that had rotted in their foyer. "Just great." She gritted sarcastically and kicked the bag across the floor. That's just what she needed. A visible reminder of how long she'd been gone. A way to confirm that she had been gone, that they'd been taken by force, that what had just happened was real…not a story that happened to someone far else, far away. Arthur entered after her, closed and locked the door. "What's wrong?'

She turned, shocked, mouth gaping open, "What's wrong? Did you really just ask that question?" Ariadne shed her coat and tossed it on the counter. It reeked of the sterile warehouse and held no comfort anymore.

Arthur, too, took off his outer layer. In contrast though, he neatly hung it on the rack by the door. "You haven't looked at me since I drug you out of there."

Ariadne shrugged, "I'm looking at you now." She blinked at him and then scowled down at the food remnants on the floor again. The smell wouldn't go away. It smelled like something had died…and three people she loved dearly had.

"You're upset with me," Arthur crossed the front of the room and dared run his hand down her shoulder, "I can tell."

Her arms folded across her chest, "Well I'm sorry, Arthur, but I am. And I can't just bottle it up and pretend like I'm not!" She went to the pantry to get the mop and a trash bag. She couldn't handle the sludge any longer.

"I couldn't do anything." He defended himself, watching her movements.

"I understand about Cobb." She began attacking the sludge with the mop psychotically. Her back and forward strokes were speeding up, "And there was no way we could've gotten to Philippa in time…" Now she was stabbing at the rotten food on the ground, "but you could've saved James."

Arthur walked to stand in front of her again and tried to take the mop from her hands and do the dirty work himself, "I was trying to save you."

The Architect retaliated and threw the mop handle away, "What makes me so special?"

"You're pregnant."

"You could've scooped him up too," she chastised and began work opening up the trash bag loudly.

His mouth was agape at her accusations, "How? You had no feeling in your legs. I couldn't carry both of you and get us all out unscathed."

She stopped, "That could've been our little boy trying to run to me."

A flicker in Arthur eyes betrayed him and told Ariadne she'd gotten to him. She knew that if James had been theirs, he would've found a way to carry them both. Or he would've chosen James instead. Arthur swallowed and gently tried to take the bag from her, "Babe, let me help."

"No, you've done enough." She swatted his hand away and his anger rose.

"If you would've cooperated with me and let me carry you out when I wanted to, I might could've gotten back to James in time."

"So you're saying it's my fault?" The trash bag scrunched in her fist as she moved her hands to her hips.

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose, "That's not fair. You know that's not what I meant."

The Parisian's fiery demeanor changed as she passed through their kitchen and let the bag fall on the floor, "No, you're right. It probably is my fault." Pause. "I should've listened to you…I should've never pushed you into being a couple. If we hadn't gotten attached to each other like this maybe the Cobbs would be alive right now."

"You're being ridiculous." He followed, picked up the trash bag and laid it on the counter on the way.

Was she? After all, he was the one that told her many moons ago that getting close to someone in this business was deadly. If a former client or mark or team member held a grudge, the slightest hint of attachment was collateral for them to use against you. The entire Cobb family was dead as proof. Arthur and Ariadne themselves had just been proof. "Am I? We shouldn't be together, Arthur. We shouldn't be engaged. I shouldn't be pregnant with your child! We went too far…" She gave a look that said she was disgusted with what they'd done. She couldn't believe what a monstrous thing they'd brought about as if they were the direct cause of the catastrophe. Like they were the most selfish people to walk the planet.

Arthur corrected, "Ari, We fell in love…"

"We shouldn't be in love." Her eyes began to water, "We should've stayed The Point Man and The Architect and we should've never messed with that." Her hand grasped at her engagement ring and twisted and pulled at it, trying to take it off…when she was unsuccessful she let it be and grunted.

Arthur rubbed his face with his hand. Her words, her regret, anger were all stinging him. He tried to brush it off and walked to the fridge, "Look," he heaved a heavy sigh, "You're stressed, we've been through a lot, we haven't gotten much sleep…here." He handed her an applesauce, "You probably don't feel good…you need to eat something."

Ariadne's incredulous eyes bore into his while he tried to lovingly smooth her hair down. How could he think about food right now? How could he be so nonchalant? How could he not feel guilty as hell right now? "I'm. Not. Hungry."

Arthur briefly lost his cool and jabbed at her, "Well maybe you're not hungry but my baby needs sustenance."

Her mouth fell open, "Your baby?" She stalked away to their bedroom.

"Yes." He dropped the applesauce on the counter agitatedly and leaned against it. Eyeing her, challenging her.

"Because it's growing in your stomach?"

"Well obviously you don't want it," Arthur ranted while he caught up to her, "You're upset with me for not killing you both. And you just said you wished you weren't pregnant with it!"

Ariadne turned. How dare he say she didn't care about this baby? She took all the precautions. She wanted this baby to be as healthy and happy as can be. She daydreamed about the baby's little feet pitter pattering around, she's sketched out different nursery ideas, she was excited about this baby. She wanted this baby. How dare he say she didn't want it? She yelled in his face as she reached their bedroom, "I never said I wished I wasn't pregnant with this baby!" then her voice turned quiet and steely, "I wish it wasn't yours." Then she slammed the door in his face and he heard the click of the lock.

xxxxxx

Time slipped away from Arthur as he sat on the couch. He'd cleaned up the decayed food from the day their home was invaded to get their fight off his mind. It wasn't happening. So as the light of day turned from a bright yellow, to a light blue, to darkness he sat and pondered her last words. I wish it wasn't yours. I wish it wasn't yours. I wish it wasn't yours.

But it was his. The baby was his. In all honesty, though, part of what she said was true and Arthur was a hypocrite. He told her when they first started meeting up that they shouldn't become too good of friends. All of those nights that he'd ask her to dinner or walked her home, he told himself it needed to be the last time. Before he went on that two month job away from her, they knew that their feelings were crawling beyond the friendly boundary and they knew it was mutual. He tried to lie and break it off. Find some other girl to mess around with and continue his bachelor on the run lifestyle. Yet, three hours before he got on that plane he had to see her. He almost missed his flight because he had to let her know he couldn't control it anymore. He had to rush to her and tell her to wait for him because if he came back to find her with another man, he'd shoot him. He had to tell Ariadne that no matter how dangerous it was…it was worth a shot. Being with her was well worth the highest risk. He had been too stupid to listen to his common sense, he'd dragged her under with him and here they were. Living together. Engaged to be married. Expecting a child. Would Arthur change it? No, he'd do it all over again. A world without her coloring outside of his lines was not a world at all. He didn't have a life before her, he had an existence. He wouldn't have had a life after her either. He would've had an abyss.

He couldn't possibly have shot her in that warehouse. He'd hadn't held the gun pointed at her for a split second before pins and needles shot through his brain. But he couldn't have possibly shot those kids either. He would've shot himself sooner. He was just frazzled; he didn't know what he was doing. He was trying to buy time and he had no currency for it. But the way it must have looked to Ariadne…the way her stomach must have churned and the fear that might have seeped through to the baby, his baby. He had every intention to go back for James. He just wanted to sit her outside and he would've sprinted back in, scooped the boy up and taken him home with them. When James was shot, Arthur went numb. Chills up his spine. He'd failed Cobb, let him down, he'd broken Ariadne's heart. Every scream of grief that left Ariadne's mouth as he pulled her away against her will sent a pounding thought through his brain. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

He felt small arms snake across his chest from behind and her warm cheek pressed next to his, "I didn't mean any of it," she whispered.

Arthur took one of her hands and pulled it for her to wind around, "Come here." Low and sweet.

She came around to the front of the couch and curled into his lap. Ariadne fingered the collar on his button up, "I hate fighting with you."

"I wanted to save him, Ariadne. I wanted to save all of them."

"I know you did."

"I just—they had that needle so close to you and I was so afraid. I was so afraid to lose the two of you." His hand flew to the back of her head and pushed her temple against his cheek, placed kisses in her hair. "Philippa and James were wailing and Fischer was yelling and the gun in my hand just felt so heavy and I didn't know what to do. For the first time in my life, I had no control…When I had the opportunity, the only thing I could think about was getting you and our baby out of there. Nothing else registered. I was so scared of losing you and you were so upset with me for it."

Ariadne sat up and away from him, turned her attention to smooth and run her fingers through his hair, "I'm grieving, Arthur. I'm shocked and depressed and I feel partly responsible…I vented without thinking. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

She smiled in a melancholy manner and kissed him chastely on the lips, after which Arthur deepened it. Then she pulled away with a gasp, "Arthur!"

"What?"

A bright eyed grin appeared out of nowhere. The Architect excitedly grabbed his hand and pressed it to her belly. She looked at him anxiously and bit her lip while she waited for the baby to—

"It's kicking!" Arthur's eyes widened and met hers. They laughed and cooed over the first kicks of their awaited baby. The more Ariadne laughed the more the flutters jumped around beneath her skin. Arthur smiled as he felt them, "It's got your excitability."

Her smile tapered and the look in her eyes changed to hold more meaning, more admiration. She linked her fingers through his as they lay on her just noticeably larger belly, "I wouldn't want this baby to be anyone's but yours."