Chapter 4: The God Illusion
Naruto POV
When I open my eyes, everything is white. I'm lying alone in the middle of nothing.
'Where am I?' I wonder.
"You are here," comes a voice from nowhere. It sounds neither like a man or a woman or any child, but rather like all of them at once.
I jump up and look wildly around for the owner of the voice.
"Who are you?" I call.
A purple mist in the vague shape of a person appears before me.
"I go by many names," it says. "Some people call me Yahweh, or Allah, or God. Others call me Brahmin, others the Life Force, and still others divide me into the many gods and goddesses of Shinto, Hinduism, or Wicca. Others see me in the Enlightened Ones of Buddhism. But you can call me whatever you like, Uzumaki Naruto. I see all, and yet I am nothing. I influence all, and all influence me."
I stand there, disbelieving. So this is the Man or Woman or Thing Upstairs. I feel cheated.
"So, if you're as all seeing as you say you are, and if you can influence everyone and everything, then why didn't you stop Uchiha Fugaku from shooting me and Sasuke?"
The Mist sighs.
"Unfortunately, Uchiha Fugaku is closed off from my influence."
My jaw must have dropped, because The Mist laughs.
"Ironic, eh? A man of the cloth, closed off from the God about which he preaches and to which he prays. I have heard many prayers from him of late, prayers to me to show you two the sins of your ways." Its voice sounds amused.
"So you don't think that homosexuality is a sin?" I say.
"No," says The Mist. "I, or we, whatever you prefer, created the first humans with the ability to be different, after all. You wouldn't be interesting if you were all the same. But the way your fiancé talked to his father earlier was disrespectful."
"Don't you mean yesterday?" I say.
"I have been here since the beginning of time, Naruto," says The Mist. "You and I perceive time differently. What you call yesterday is only a few minutes ago to me."
"Whoa," I say.
"Indeed," says The Mist, "I don't expect you to understand. And you will have plenty of time to understand later, when you come here to stay."
"But I'm dead," I say. "Aren't I?"
"Not quite," says The Mist. "You are in what some call Limbo, and others call Purgatory. You are in the World between the Worlds. Come to think of it, your fiancé should be here too."
I look around, confused.
"But there's nothing as far as the eye can see," I say. "I'm confused as to what I'm even standing on."
The Mist laughs in amusement.
"Picture where you want to be in your mind and you won't be standing on empty space," the voice says kindly. "Of course, if you want to be where your fiancé is, you must think of where he would be the most comfortable."
I think for a minute. We've been friends for years and dating for two, but sometimes I still think that trying to figure out what Sasuke likes the most should be a college course.
"An antique store?" I venture.
"Well, I don't know," says The Mist. "I guess you'll just have to find out, won't you?"
As the makings of an antique store start to fade in around me, I ask The Mist a few last questions.
"So we're not dead?" I say.
"I should say not," says The Mist. "Think of this as a waiting area while your earthly bodies are healed to the point where they are tenable again."
"And if I chose wrong I can think of another place and it will change?"
"Yes," says The Mist simply.
"Uh, okay," I mutter. "I still can't believe I actually talked with the Thing Behind It All…"
The room is huge, with hundreds upon thousands upon tens of thousands of items from every era of history. I wander a little, see an eighteenth century wedding dress, and vaguely wonder how Sasuke would look in it before a hand taps my shoulder lightly. I jump and turn around to see none other than my petit fiancé, his arms crossed over his chest and wearing an expression of displeasure.
"If you think I'm wearing that to our wedding then you are delusional and need to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible," he says, raising an eyebrow.
"Holy crap, Sasuke!" I say, clutching my chest. "You scared me!"
He grins and kisses me.
"You were the one looking for me, right?"
"Well, yeah," I say, "but still. What if I'd been weak of heart and had a heart attack?"
"Please, Naruto," he smirks. "The only medical problem you have that we know about is asthma, and since we're not in our physical bodies that doesn't apply for the moment."
We stand there for a moment in silence, and then I speak.
"So what do you think is happening back there?" I ask.
"Do you mean with our physical bodies, or with Fugaku, or with our families?"
"Everything pertaining to what just went down."
"Well, they'll more than likely have discovered the scars on your stomach and the scabs on mine, so we'll have a lot to answer for when we finally wake up, especially you," says Sasuke dryly. "We'll probably be in surgery for a while. Mom will probably be passed out somewhere, or else a nervous wreck. Itachi-nii will be either sitting with her, or else pestering the doctors for news. Fugaku will probably be in a jail cell or in an interrogation room or something. And as for your family, I have no idea."
"Oh, I have more than an idea of what they'll be like," I say, shuddering. "Dad will be sitting quietly in the waiting room with Naruko, but Mom will be bugging the shit out of the doctors, and Kyuubi will probably get into a fight with Itachi at some point. I don't get why they haven't started dating yet; they'd make a great couple."
Sasuke snickers.
"Well, for one, Itachi's straighter than a pole. Two, he and Kyuubi are too much alike."
"Don't let them hear you saying that," I say half-jokingly, because of course he's right. Kyuubi's loud, and Itachi's quiet, but they're both stubborn and hot-tempered, and they'd do anything to protect their younger siblings. Yeah, under that cool exterior, Itachi has a really hot temper. When we told him that we were together, he threatened to castrate me, cut off my arms and legs, and leave me to the wolves if I ever hurt Sasuke. And to tell you the truth, I wouldn't put it past him. The guy really loves his little brother.
We stand together in comfortable silence for a little while more, and this time Sasuke breaks it.
"I wonder what would happen if we didn't want to go back," he says thoughtfully. "What would happen then? Would we move on to wherever it is dead people go? Or would we cease to exist?"
"To be honest, I wonder the same thing," I say. "I don't think we'd cease to exist, but I don't know what would happen. Maybe we'd stay wherever we chose for the rest of eternity, kind of like we're doing right now. Or maybe there really is a paradise and a Hell, as it were, kind of like the paradise and the asphodel fields and the Tartarus of Greek mythology, and we'd go to one of those. I don't think anyone alive knows."
"And despite our current state, we are certainly not dead," Sasuke says, putting into words what I'm thinking. "But if we're here, then how do our bodies survive?"
I hadn't thought about that.
"Maybe life support machines? I suppose that since the soul is more a concept than an actual thing, technically our bodies could still survive without us if our internal organs functioned properly."
"I suppose," he responds, though looking unsure.
Just then, the two of us are bathed in a soft light, and I feel a tugging sensation behind my navel.
"What in the world?" says Sasuke, confused. He must have felt the same thing.
"Time here isn't the same as Earth time," I explain. "One day on Earth is three minutes here, and we've been here for a little over fifteen minutes, according to that grandfather clock in the corner."
He looks where I'm pointing and makes a small noise of disbelief.
"So our bodies have been lying there uninhabited for five Earth days?"
"I guess so," I muse, "and now they're calling us back. I think it's kind of like a homing beacon."
"I don't know if I want to go back and face the pain and Mom questioning me about the cuts on my stomach."
"I'm scared of what your brother will do to me for that if he gets his hands on me," I say, shuddering.
"I'll tell him to lay off," says Sasuke, rolling his eyes. "He can be overprotective at times."
"'At times'?" I say. "That is an understatement."
He laughs.
"I still don't want to go back."
"You scared of what my family will say about the scars on my stomach?" I say. "I'll tell them to lay off."
He laughs again and kisses me.
"I'll go back only if you do."
"Funny, I was thinking the same thing. Let's go."
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Sasuke POV
When I regain consciousness, it happens gradually. First the feeling of soft bedsheets under my fingertips and the cushy pillow beneath my head; then the sterile smell of a hospital room; then an annoying beeping sound that is probably a heart monitor and rustling noises from the other side of the room; and finally, my vision.
It's dark, but the moonlight is still strong enough to illuminate the room with a soft glow. Indeed I've been hooked up to a heart monitor, which has started to beep a little faster now that I'm awake, and there's an IV drip snaking its way down my arm. I find it uncomfortable, but I can't take it out. On one side of my bed is the window, and on the other side is a curtain, from behind which come groaning and grunting noises. I sigh in irritation.
Then I try to sit up. I get part of the way just using upper body strength and my arms, even though it hurts more than anything, but when I try to move my legs I get nothing in response. Not even a twitch from one of my toes. Puzzled, I try again.
"What in the world?" I mumble hoarsely; my voice is weak from five days of disuse.
"S'uke?" comes a quiet voice from the other side of the curtain.
"Naruto?" I ask.
"Yeah," says Naruto, and the curtain rustles as it's slowly pulled open, revealing his tanned features, fraught with worry. Even when he's in dire straits, he worries about me. It's kind of cute, even if it gets annoying at times. "How are you feeling?"
"The upper half of my body is in pain," I say, gritting my teeth against the aforementioned pain. "The lower half feels nothing."
Naruto gets out of bed, an idiotic move in my opinion, and with a hiss of pain hobbles over to my bedside and sits down on the edge after helping me sit up. Then just as suddenly he leaps up again.
"Oh shit, I just sat on your leg," he says apologetically.
"It's fine," I say dryly, "I didn't know you were sitting on my leg until you told me."
Naruto laughs a little, but his face is uneasy as he sits down, taking care not to sit on me again, though it wouldn't matter if he did.
"You can't feel anything?" he asks. "Anything at all?"
"No," I say with a shake of my head. "This… this doesn't change your feelings for me… does it?"
The look on his face is the same as it would probably be if I had just told him he had gotten drunk and slept with his own sister.
"Did you really just ask that?" he says incredulously. "I thought you knew me better than that, Sasuke."
I lower my head, ashamed at having thought for even a second that Naruto would leave me just because of something like partial paralysis, especially after proposing to me. I feel a gentle hand grab my chin and my face tilts upward until I'm looking my fiancé in the eyes again. His light blue eyes are shining with tears, the small crystalline droplets just visible in the moonlight.
"When Fugaku shot you, my first thought was not 'oh damn, now he's gonna be a cripple,' because you know I would feel like the biggest ass in the world if I ever thought such a thing. My first thought was 'I've gotta protect him,' followed closely by 'To whom it may concern, please don't let my boyfriend die,' and also 'I can't live without him in my life.' I am not a superficial person. Well, not entirely," he amends, and I smirk. We both know, as everyone should, that there would be no way we'd be dating each other if there weren't some sort of physical attraction, because physical attraction is always at least a small part of the foundation of any romantic relationship.
"But honestly," he continues on in a more serious tone, "if I ever let something like you being a paraplegic drive a wedge into our relationship I would personally deliver myself to Izanami bound and gagged. I could never face you, your family, myself, or my family again. I'll admit that if it is permanent it would be depressing –no more amazing sex like we had a few days ago- but it wouldn't diminish my feelings for you one bit. I still want to share the rest of my life with you, and I'm willing to take on any challenge to do it."
With that said he leans over with a small hiss of pain and kisses me. It tastes salty, from his tears and from the tears running down my own cheeks, but it also tastes like Naruto: the faint hint of lemons, along with mint and lavender. I don't care what he tastes like anyhow… I love him, he loves me, we're both alive, and even if that's all we had, even if our families shunned us for being the way we are, we could still move mountains. I never want this moment to end.
Unfortunately it ends abruptly when the door of the room slams open and the light turns on. Standing there is a very irate Itachi, and behind him are Kyuubi, Kushina, and Naruko, also angry. Behind them are Naruto's dad and my mom, both practically crying in frustration in an attempt to quell the madness that has been unleashed.
"You!" Itachi yells, striding over to us and poking Naruto hard in the chest, making him wince. "Explain why in the hell my little brother has the words 'Naruto's property' carved into his abdomen!"
Naruko signs something angrily, and Kyuubi translates.
"And you," he snarls at me, "why does our brother have scars on his stomach that look very much like they spell 'property of Uchiha Sasuke'?"
We look at each other and burst out laughing.
"Seriously, guys?" Naruto says.
"It's no big deal," I finish for him.
"It was completely consensual," Naruto explains. "It's just part of our sexual exploits."
Everyone stares at us for a moment. Then Naruko claps a hand to her forehead.
"Idiot," she says very carefully, also signing it so as to leave no amount of misunderstanding about what she said. Then she signs something else at Naruto, who rolls his eyes.
"You're the one who fantasizes about getting fucked in a graveyard surrounded by a shitload of dead people, and you're calling us sick?" he says out loud, also signing it.
"Seriously?" I say incredulously.
"Seriously," says Naruto with a nod of his head.
"Your twin sister. Naruko. Fantasizes about necrophilia."
"Pretty much."
"Are we talking about the same person?"
"There are so many things you don't know about her, Sasuke-chan," says Kyuubi, grinning evilly.
"…Ew."
"Well, I'm glad my foolish little brother has at least some conventional moral standards," says Itachi, rolling his eyes. I flip him off where Mom can't see me doing it.
Naruko screeches angrily and tries to get at her twin brother, but Kyuubi holds her back.
"If I wa'n't being hold back and you weren't a cripple I would kill you!" she yells, still in that careful annunciated way of hers when she's speaking out loud. "Mom and Dad were not supposed to know that!"
Naruto's face reddens, and I can't hold in the giggles that bubble up from my chest and out through my mouth.
"I am not a cripple!" he yells back, wincing. "Stop laughing at me, Sasuke you bastard!"
Of course, that only makes me laugh harder.
Yeah, everything will be just fine.
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Oh, it will be more than fine, Sasuke. –Evil laughter- More than fine indeed.
Don't mind me… I've had too much caffeine. And I'm tired as fuck.
Oh yeah. So in Japanese mythology the god and goddess who created the earth and all the beings on it are Izanami and Izanagi. (These names may also seem familiar to you because they're the two forbidden Uchiha techniques.) They were husband and wife, and also cousins. I think the story is that after birthing the eight great islands of Japan and the hundreds (or thousands?) of smaller Japanese islands, Izanami burned to death giving birth to the fire gods and went to Yomi, the land of the dead. Izanagi went down to get her back, and she let him come down, on condition that he could never look upon her face. So, this being a typical myth and men in general being not very good listeners, whether they're gods or not, he disobeys and looks upon her face, which once was beautiful and now is covered with maggots and rot. She chases him from Yomi, and the former spouses become rivals.
In addition, they had two other children famous in Japanese mythology, Susano'o, the god of war, chaos, and all around violence, and Amaterasu, the goddess of the sun. This explains why in the series the mangekyou technique Amaterasu is flames that can't be extinguished except by the user, and Susano'o is the ultimate fighting weapon and defense.