Title: 100 Steps To Somewhere
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: 027. Fear
Word Count: 1,757
Rating: M
Summary: Riku didn't know where he was, but he knew he wanted out and as soon as possible.
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts, including the worlds and characters contained within, are the property of Disney and Square Enix. I am affiliated with neither one of these places, nor any other third-party affiliate that might be associated with the rights of Kingdom Hearts. No copyright infringement is intended. Wow, that was a very professional disclaimer. I'm usually a smart-ass.
Author's Note: I didn't read ahead enough in my scripting to know that the conversation between Riku, Repliku, and Ansem was about fear of the darkness. If I had, I wouldn't have thought so much about how to spin the 'Fear' prompt for this installment. Thank you, Square Enix, for doing my job for me.
Step Twenty-Seven: Reflection
Riku knew he was tired. Though he was unaware of how long he'd been awake in this place that alternated between the painful worlds in his memories and blinding white, how long it took to travel from that hazy place through the card-worlds, but it must have taken longer than Riku thought. His eyes were starting to play tricks on him. There was no other explanation.
Riku closed his eyes, opened them, and stared. Nope. Still there.
It had to be a figment of him imagination. After all, how many explanations could there be for the person standing across from him.
With desperation and grief, Riku left the mock Traverse Town. He expected an encounter, yes, but nothing like this occurred to him as even a slight possibility. Riku didn't have a twin. At least not that he knew of.
Riku blinked again and stared. He looked for a difference, but couldn't find any. He had the same choppy, silver hair. His aquamarine eyes were the same Riku stared at in the mirror for as long as he could remember. Same build, same height, and even the same scars. The same freckles on his shoulders.
Riku blinked.
"Too shocked to speak? This should come as a relief, then: I'm a replica of you that Vexen made."
So there was an alternate explanation.
"What, you mean a fake me?" said Riku. The replica frowned.
"I didn't say "fake"! Just because you're real doesn't mean you're better! We share the same body and the same talents. There is one easy way to tell us apart, though. Know what that is? Unlike you, I'm not afraid of anything."
Riku twisted his lips and narrowed his eyes. The replica smirked.
"Are you calling me a coward?"
"You are a coward. You're afraid of the dark. The darkness inside you scares you witless."
"Look, I—"
"But I'm different. I embrace the darkness. I can make it do whatever I want. In other words . . ."
The replica allowed his sentence to fall off, drew his own Soul Eater, and moved into a fighting stance. He smirked.
"I can wipe the floor with you!"
The replica attacked. Riku drew his own Soul Eater and dodged to the side. Vexen did a good job with this copy. Instead of sticking to his usual attacks, the battle became a mind game, centered on predicting what move the copy would pull out next. They had the same skills, after all. Riku abandoned any typical strategy and focused on defense until he could get in a few good hits. Even as he felt the darkness rise inside and the heightened powers take over, Riku focused on the clone.
Riku watched as the replica fell to his knees. His heart tightened. Vexen, he thought, must have been that man with the long, blond hair. The people here were crueler than he thought. His heart already ached and pounded through the memory-worlds, but watching this boy—this boy who looked exactly like him and yet had a mind of his own—cut deeper.
Was he supposed to see how great he could be with the darkness? Was he supposed to sink farther into his own shame as he saw his own face twist in anger, pride, and defeat? Was this clone supposed to kill him, assume his life, and take his place using the powers of darkness? This wasn't right.
The clone looked up at Riku through familiar, fringed bangs and sneered despite his struggle to breathe.
"Hey, Fake," said Riku. "I thought you were gonna wipe the floor with me."
"Go on, laugh. I'm still new. I'll get stronger and stronger, just you wait! It won't be long before I surpass you. Next time we fight, you're finished!"
"Sorry, you missed your chance. I'm finishing you first, right here!"
Riku lunged at the replica, but hit a barrier. The clone laughed and stood as Riku bounced back.
"It's nice to have darkness on my side." The replica walked over, and Riku stared into his eyes—eyes that belonged to Riku, and didn't belong on this fake. "How could you be scared of something so thrilling? You're missing out."
"Shut up!"
"So now the coward is playing tough guy. That's cute. See you next time, Real Thing. Try not to miss me."
The replica turned and walked up the stairs to the next floor. Riku heaved, his body trembling. He flexed his fingers.
"Come back here! I'll show you who's a coward, punk."
Riku ran toward the stairs, his heart racing. He entered the next floor, same as the one before it. No one was there.
"Come on out, you fake! Show yourself."
"Fake? Oh, I don't think that's the right word."
Riku turned. Ansem smiled.
"What are you saying? He's just a copy of me—he said as much himself."
"A copy, yes—or maybe a model. He is an example of what you should be. He accepts the darkness . . . just as you once accepted me. But now you are afraid. Perhaps you are the one who is being fake."
"Name one time I've been afraid of the darkness."
"In the card-worlds, you grappled desperately with the darkness. Desperation is a product of fear. You fight the darkness because it frightens you."
"Oh, I get it. You think I'll stop fighting the darkness just to prove I'm not afraid of it. Nice try, but I'm gonna keep fighting."
Ansem shook his head, but his smile remained.
"So stubborn."
He threw a set of cards to Riku.
"Then continue your fight, if you must," said Ansem. "Eventually, you will see. You cannot resist the dark."
Ansem disappeared. Riku looked down at the top card in the pile. Atlantica.
----------0----------
Riku passed through Atlantica in a blur. He was here a few times with Maleficent when she had to see Ursula about something pertaining to the princesses of heart. Ariel—a mermaid of Atlantica—was once thought to be a possible princess of heart, but once Maleficent realized she wasn't, the trips to Atlantica stopped. That felt so long ago now in a time before Keyblades, before Cloud, before the darkness . . .
Riku couldn't shake Ansem or the replica from his mind. Riku wasn't afraid of the darkness; he just didn't like it. Riku wasn't afraid of Ansem; he didn't want his heart taken over again. That wasn't fear—it was common sense.
Was that what he'd looked like against Sora? So angry and proud? Did he really smirk like that? Was his voice just as cocky? Did it sound as unconcerned and smug as the replica's when he said such harsh words? Was he that accusatory?
Worse yet, if all of the above things were as true to Riku as they were to the replica, was he always this way, or did it only start after the darkness?
Riku hugged his arms around his body as he walked up the stairs to the next hallway. He pulled the cards from his pocket as he approached the door. Riku looked down at the card on top, and his breath hitched. The cards fell to the floor.
Olympus Coliseum.
Sure, he hadn't seen Sora, Kairi, or anyone that wasn't one of Maleficent's allies up until now. Hollow Bastion, Neverland, Monstro, and Traverse Town were all full of painful and shameful memories. Olympus Coliseum was a good place. Cloud spent most of his time here, and Riku . . . this was where . . .
Riku knelt to pick up the cards. He kept Olympus Coliseum in his hand and slid the other two cards in his pocket.
Cloud and Riku were alike, both walking the line between light and dark. If all Riku would see were the people lost in darkness, at least he could still see Cloud, even if he was a figment of his imagination.
Still on his knees, Riku dropped his head. He squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip around the Olympus Coliseum card. Riku patted his pocket, taking in the absence of the cell phone that had weighed heavy in his pocket for so long. It was a comfort, even when Riku didn't use it. Right now, he could use that comfort. How long did this place go on? Where was he? Would he ever escape?
Riku stood and walked to the doors. He held out the card to Olympus Coliseum. Now, more than ever, Riku needed to hear Cloud's voice. Whether it came from an illusion or not was none of his concern.
----------0----------
Riku tore through Olympus Coliseum. He encountered Heartless, Hades, and more Heartless. He bypassed the door to the blinding white hallway. He revisited place he'd been before. Riku collapsed on the ground and leaned against a pillar. He stared up at the sky.
"It isn't real," said Riku. "That's not our sky."
Riku dropped his head in his lap.
"Where are you? Where am I? You . . . you're supposed to be here . . ."
"Your heart only knows how to throw things away . . ."
Riku pushed back the tears and ran for the white hallway. Cloud wasn't here. Riku felt the disappointment and desperation sink into his heart. Cloud wasn't here because Cloud overcame the darkness. Sometimes he had trouble clinging to his light, but he wasn't lost in the darkness anymore. Cloud was strong; Riku felt himself grow weaker every second.
He had to get out of this horrible place. He had to defeat Ansem and get out of here. He had to leave the darkness behind once and for all.
Riku passed through Wonderland. Shame and pride clashed. He had to beat Ansem, but would that change things? Was this just who he was? Did he only have a weak heart shrouded in darkness? A heart that only knew how to throw things away?
If he did get out of this place, how would he ever face his friends again? What would they think of him? What did they already think with the way he behaved lately?
"At least Pinocchio still had a conscious," said Riku. He left Wonderland and looked at the card in his hand depicting Halloween Town. He'd gone here with Cloud during that month on the Gummi while looking for Sora. Riku sighed. "Just one card left. If I get through this, can I finally rid myself of the dark?"
Riku looked from the card to the door and walked forward.
Okay, so reviewers first! Yay!
Chalice of Chelsea: Was you comment about me admitting to loving the reviews sarcasm? Cause . . . heh. I guess I am overtly lovey about my reviewers, but you know . . . I used to get two for five chapters. So, yeah, I LOVE MY REVIEWERS! Okay, now that that's out of the way . . . Yeah. I don't want to do a cheating thing in this story. Too much melodrama. I think there's already enough of that crap going on already with what Disney and Square gave me to work with. As far as Vincent and Tifa . . . heh. I've said it before and I'll say it again: "The only things I know about Final Fantasy is what I've learned from Advent Children, wikipedia, KH fanfic, and various final fantasy fan sites." So, yeah. I actually just looked for a somewhat popular Tifa pairing other than Cloud and Vincent seemed like a good one to go with. I feel really bad for Cloud, too, with not knowing about Riku, but I just don't know who would know Riku's in Castle Oblivion and alive, cause Sora's there, too, so . . . yeah. I don't know. I'm so sorry to hear about your fiance. That . . . hm . . . really blows, you know? Truly. Like Cloud, I am no good at comforting people, but I'm glad the story does something. Sorry it took so long to update (yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds considering it's only been a week). Anyway, there will be much more over the weekend, so I hope it cheers you up some more.
koyuki-san: You could try to keep your reviews short, and I could try to keep my replies short, but why do that when we could be chatting so much? I don't know about you, but I think I'm a hopeless case. Yeah, as far as how fast I update . . . when I have time alone, it's all I do. And my time alone just started for the next few day. Expect a lot more where this came from. I haven't read the mangas. I was going to buy them and was so happy when they came out, but once I started thinking about writing Riku's side of the story and I realized the mangas don't really follow the game exactly, I decided against it. I really wanted to stay true to the games, so I thought I might get all lost and confused if I read them. Once all 100 chapters are done, I can read it them. It'll be my celebratory present, I guess. I'm glad you like my Tifa. I hate love triangles with a passion. All that drama just makes me all itchy, you know? If I wanted to write about a love triangle, I'd start out with one, but I don't like dealing with them in real life. Why would I want to put one in a story? That's just stress I don't need (and neither does Riku or Cloud, at that). I, also, loved Leon getting 'gravel-ed.' Giggled a lot when I editted it. Wasn't that funny when I was writing, but afterward . . . yeah. I crack myself up. It's sad. I think it's really cool my Hollow Bastion/Radiant Garden gang remind you of the manga version considering, as previously stated, I haven't read the manga. I'm in tune with that kind of stuff.
FrEaKyAoIFaN: Yes, Cloud is getting better. Time really does heal all wounds. Riku, yeah, he has to go through a lot of crap before he can be happy. Sorry about the cliffhanger. I really don't realize how horrible they must be for readers considering, yeah, I know what's gonna happen next. Doesn't concern me, so I don't think about it too much. So my humblest apologies to you. Um . . . I don't think Riku really meets Sora again until close to the end of KH2, so I guess it'll be a long time, and I think Namine will be in not the next Riku-centered chapter, but the one after that. So, that's like, chapter thirty-one? Thanks for loving my story. I love your reviews.
ChibiFrubaGirl: Sorry for the long wait. I've had a busy, yet lazy, week. My best friend occupies much of my time. I really wanted to bring Tifa in the story since she's in KH2 and let her drift in and out, kind of like Cloud. The fight between Riku and Lexaeus should be in the next Riku chapter, so I guess that makes it chapter twenty-nine. Thanks for the encouragement.
Koji Inari: Thank you for letting me know I will not overkill the story. You may whistle a different tune come chapter one-hundred, but I hope not. You're welcome for making you broke. I laughed when I read you hadn't played the games. That kind of thing astounds me. You're in for a treat, though. They're awesome games. I mean it. I've beat seven games in my entire life (because I'm a crappy video game player and get close to the end but give up out of frustration when it causes me more stress than enjoyment) and three of those games are Kingdom Hearts. I do apologize for Winnie the Pooh, though. He's a little bastard. Anyway . . . trust me, you don't babble too much. I do. I mean, honestly, half my replies to reviewers are longer than the reviews themselves.
Resa: Yeah. Originally it was just going to be Tifa and Reno (cause I think Reno is hot) until I looked up the pairing and realized it's rather unpopular, but Vincent is also hot, and that pairing was more popular, so I went with it. I couldn't stop mentioning Reno, though. .:shrug:. Yep, Cloud has to wait, and patiently, too, because I apparently like to torture him. I'm happy, though, because Chain of Memories is taking up more chapters than I thought it would. Which is good. Cause 100 is a lot of chapters. I digress. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about the blindfold just yet, but the wheels are turning. Yes, indeed.
Lapse-Raevn: I do hope the fanbase grows. I will write more stories after this, of course, and help the cause. In fact, I plan on doing more challenges after this is finished for the pairing. I want more pretty banners (What can I say? I'm greedy). Yeah. Replica is in here. I fell in love with him right away. Poor little confused sweetie. I'm going to be sad when I have to kill him, but Disney and Square say it is so, and I can't divert from the carefully laid out track now. Thanks for the compliments on Tifa and the interaction between Cloud and Leon. No, I won't end where KH2 ends. I plan on writing a few chapters of what comes after they return to the Islands (Heh. Destiny Islands. It's funny. I used to always call it Destiny Islands, but for some reason, Riku calls it the Islands in this story, and now I do, too). I can't imagine them staying on the Islands forever, either.
Diru x Girls: I honestly don't know if you've read this far, but I'm glad you like reading Riku's perspective. I don't know why it was so important for me to write it out for him (I sound crazy), but it was. A lot of people seemed surprised by Cloud and Riku. I'm not sure why considering it was one of the first couples I put together after playing through. Maybe because they have so much in common. Don't know. Anyway, I hope you keep reading. Thanks for dropping me a line.
Tokienologist: One of you all-time favorites? Wow. That's . . . quite the compliment. Thank you. I figured that this has probably been done before (Riku's POV), but I hadn't really found anything, so I just wanted to write it myself. AU's grow tiresome after awhile. I also made it an important point to include all the actual Riku dialogue and appearances through the game (that I could track down and remember, anyway, though I think I missed a few here or there -- like I swear he's on the clock tower in Neverland, but I couldn't find out where so I left it out). Wow. I just don't know how to respond to this review. I "have a way with words." .:smile:. To be honest with you, I was once an aspiring author. I wanted to write books for a living, but I hit a really bad writer's block that lasted for two years and gave up. I've been trying to find something else to do with my life ever since. Compliments like this (now that I'm writing again) mean a lot. Like I could actually do it if I wanted and there would be readers. Makes me want to really crack down on the original novel idea my best friend handed over to me (cause she thinks I'd flesh out and write her idea better than she would). Thank you so much.
-find.me.please-: Thanks for letting me know you love the story. Means a lot.
My apologies for being such a lengthy review-replier.
You should expect more tomorrow. Probably a double post. I was going to write another tonight, and I still might. I don't know yet. But definitely expect more tomorrow.
Thank you to everyone who put me on their favorites or alert list. I now have twenty-five people on my alert list for this story. It's the most I've ever gotten (even more than I got for my Ron/Draco epic in the Harry Potter fandom). You people are amazing.
Much love.
.:December:.