Title: 100 Steps To Somewhere
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: 035. Easy
Word Count: 3,674
Rating: M
Summary: It's always awkward meeting friends of friends, much less friends of your boyfriend. Unfortunately for Riku, Cloud's friends are a little rowdier than ordinary. Poor dear.
Disclaimer: As if I hadn't said it thirty-four times before, I will tell you again that I don't own Kingdom Hearts because Disney and Square Enix do and I have no affiliation with either company whatsoever. I'm affiliated with a chip company and now I'm affiliated with Hersheypark again, but Hershey is not Disney, so there you go.
Step Thirty-Five: Awkward Integration
Riku was fidgeting. He was aware of this fidgeting, and though he tried to stop it, the harder he tried, the more his hands found to keep themselves busy. Cigarette after cigarette turned to ash and filled the tray. Cloud went out to the market to buy Riku a carton two hours after their most recent sexual encounter, and Riku chewed his fingernails after finishing the pack until Cloud returned.
Twenty cigarettes in four hours. Riku figured that wasn't good. He had foolishly thought that after going a month without nicotine, he wouldn't smoke nearly as much—the physical addiction had long passed—but Riku didn't care to quit smoking, and as he fidgeted, he found himself chain-smoking more than ever. Cloud returned to find Riku's fingertips mutilated.
"What are you so nervous about now?"
"You're friends are all coming over later tonight, right?"
"Yeah. Probably around seven. Leon was talking about a thirteen-hour day this morning."
"What if they don't like me?"
Cloud sighed.
"Just be yourself. Leon already likes you, and as for the rest, they'll like you, too."
"But Leon doesn't really know me, and you could be making me sound better than I really am for all I know."
"You need to relax. You'll fit in just fine."
"I just . . . they're so important to you, and I don't want them to hate me. This is a big deal. I mean . . . these people are like your family . . ."
"And I'm sure they'll like you just as much as I do."
Riku huffed. He twisted the bottom of his shirt into a knot, undid it, and twisted it the other way.
"Look," said Cloud, "everyone comes back here for dinner after working every night. Leon will have his 'don't fuck with me' attitude in place because he'll have to cook, and Aerith will do her best to keep him in as close to a good mood as he ever gets. Yuffie will talk a lot, bounce a lot, and Leon will snap at her occasionally about giving him a headache. Cid will think this is all very funny, and I'll be moody and distant while Tifa grills me about every aspect of my life. That's just how we interact, so don't take anything personally."
"Why does Leon have to cook?"
"Because I can't, and Tifa thinks it's sexist that Leon keeps trying to get her to do it."
"I can cook."
"That's okay, Riku."
"No, really. They're working all day and I've just been sitting around here. It'll give me something to do with my hands at least."
"Let me warn you that if you give anyone food poisoning, you'll never hear the end of it."
"Why would I give someone food poisoning?"
". . . I don't know. I did."
"You also can't use a hammer."
"Yeah, see. You have nothing to worry about. You'll fit in just fine. You don't have to make dinner to get anyone to like you."
"I just want to do something nice, okay? I'm just barging my way in here where I really don't belong, and it's always awkward meeting friends of friends. A boyfriend's friends are an even bigger deal, not to mention I'm going to be living here. I don't want to get in the way."
"You aren't in the way."
"Cloud, this isn't easy for me, okay? Let me do this and don't give me grief about it."
Cloud sighed.
"Just understand that you don't have to."
"Okay. Now what does everyone like to eat?"
----------0----------
One shopping trip at the market later (where Cloud observed that this was his third time purchasing from the same shop that day), Riku set himself up in the kitchen with bowls, pans, and cooking utensils around him. He pulled things out of bags—eggs, milk, olive oil, bread crumbs, chicken—and set to work.
"You do know what you're doing, right?"
"Cloud, I'm not completely useless. I do more than just chain-smoke and get myself possessed."
He placed the ashtray on the counter and lit a cigarette.
"That's a great point for your case right there."
"I like to smoke when I cook."
"You know, some people really don't like the smell of smoke with their food."
"Screw some people."
"It doesn't matter. Leon smokes when he cooks, too. I don't get it."
"You can't cook and you don't smoke. How would you?"
"Touché."
Riku sighed as he opened the package of chicken breast and dropped it on the cutting board.
"My mom taught me how to cook when I was a kid. She also taught me how to iron, sew, and do my own laundry by the time I was seven. She called them 'useful life skills,' and said I was going to need to know them one day when I was on my own."
"I know you said you were kind of a momma's boy, but I didn't know it was that bad."
"Shut up." Riku sliced the chicken into strips and laughed. "I really was, though."
"Did she flip out when she found out you were gay?"
"Not at all. Just smiled and patted me on the head. Didn't flip out when I started smoking, either. Her and my dad smoke, too, so she said there wasn't really anything she could say about it except to make sure I understood the health risks. Ayumi's the one that freaked out."
"Your sister?"
Riku nodded.
"She was super-protective over me. Always wanted to know where I was going and with who. Didn't like all the bad influences I was surrounding myself with. We were always really close, but we fought a lot before I left. She kept telling me I was a privileged child—Mom and Dad were always supportive, I had good friends, good grades, we never had a problem with money. Said I blew the gay thing out of proportion, and I was just trying to cause trouble for myself to make life more interesting. I was so angry with her, but in retrospect she was kind of right."
"You miss her."
"Yeah. I gave her a lot of shit before I left about trying to take care of me so much, but I really kind of liked it. It was nice to have someone care that much, even when I didn't want her to."
"I'm sure you'll see your family again."
Riku shrugged. His throat felt tight, but he swallowed and focused on the food preparation.
"I can't go back there until I take care of Ansem. I don't . . . I don't want to take that back there . . . not if something were to happen again. That and . . . and I just don't want them to see me like that, you know?"
Cloud nodded.
Riku was aware of Cloud's eyes on him as he moved around the kitchen, unmoving and watching from the couch as Riku heated the oil over the stove. He was thankful for something to do with his hands to expend some of the adrenaline shooting through his body.
Cloud made it sound seamless to integrate Riku into his group of friends, but nothing was ever easy—all things required a good deal of work and a bit of luck. Sure, Riku might be able to get along with Cloud's friends, but he needed to become friends with them as well to stave off any awkwardness. After all, it didn't look like he and Cloud were about to break up any time within the near future, and he would thus be spending a great amount of time with these people.
In all honesty, Ayumi had been spot on when calling Riku's life privileged. He never had a problem making friends everywhere he went, and was prone to admirers as well. It had always been easy to put on a smile, crack a joke, and pretend to be cool, confident, and collected. He may have blown the gay thing out of proportion, but Riku had always had a difficult time not thinking that things would have been easier had he been straight. Now that he had a boyfriend, and was surrounded by people who not only accepted but encouraged it, he had nothing to hide behind.
Cloud had said to be himself, and this was where Riku's anxiety attacked. Yes, Riku was confident most of the time, but he had what he hoped were normal bouts of insecurity from time to time. Sure, he was often collected, but he was prone to losing his composure as was so apparent with everything that happened with Sora and Ansem. Riku could be cool and relaxed, but he was often worried and uneasy, much like now. Cloud knew these things, and by extension, so did his friends. His nerves felt jumbled, and another rush of adrenaline pumped through his veins.
His thoughts were still racing, running over everything he should say to make a good impression, and the fried chicken was just about finished when the door to the house opened and Cloud's friends poured in. Riku turned his head to see Cloud wave at them from the couch, close his eyes, and put his hand over them.
"I smell food," said Yuffie. She bounced into the kitchen and looked into the pan. "Hey, Leon, looks like you're off the hook for dinner tonight."
"Is that right?" said Leon, walking into the kitchen behind Yuffie. He grabbed a drink from the refrigerator and peered over Yuffie's shoulder at the stove.
"Cloud told me he was a terrible cook, so I thought I'd lend a hand," said Riku.
"Thanks for that."
"Not a problem."
"I did warn him about food poisoning, though," said Cloud.
"Not that I needed the warning."
"Not everyone is as inept as you, Cloud," said Leon.
"You know what, Leon? Eat me."
"I think I should leave that to Riku. You don't want him getting the wrong idea."
Cid, Tifa, and Cloud snorted. Riku dropped his spatula in the frying pan.
"They're just kidding," said Aerith. "You're going to scare him off, Leon."
"I'm going to scare him off?" said Leon, taking a seat at the counter and lighting a cigarette. "Yuffie's the one hovering over him."
Riku's eyes darted to the side. Yuffie leaned forward, peered at him, and smiled.
"He's just so cute," she said.
"Lord, chain-smoker much?" said Leon, looking into his ashtray. "I think there's a pack in here."
"Pack and a half," said Riku, lighting a cigarette of his own. "Twenty-six and about to be twenty-seven if you want to get exact."
"Yuffie, personal space," said Cloud, walking over to the counter and taking a seat opposite Leon. "He's nervous enough as is without you in his face."
"Why are you nervous?" said Yuffie.
"I'd be nervous if I had to coexist with you, too," said Leon.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Could we talk about something other than me?" said Riku.
"Nope," said Tifa. "You're fresh meat. We have to eat you alive and spit you out before you can be part of the club. We all went through it."
"We're all still going through it," said Cloud. "It never really ends."
"He's right," said Leon. "For example: Cloud, I know I said you could take tomorrow off, but you need to paint instead. Deal with it."
"Fuck you, Leon."
"You don't have an option."
"I'm not interested."
"You know the great thing about you, Cloud? You're so predictable. I know that no matter what I ask you to do, you'll tell me you're not interested, and then I'll make you do it anyway."
"You know the great thing about you, Leon? I know that if I say something about you that makes you uncomfortable, you'll just say 'whatever,' and leave it at that."
"Rot and die."
"And you're both so emotional, moody, and distant that I'd like to practice my ninja skills on you and not hold back," said Yuffie.
"As if you could actually do any damage," said Leon.
"I know you're afraid. You don't have to hide it."
"The only time I hide anything is when I'm running away from you."
"You know, the more you two bicker, the more I think you two are flirting," said Tifa.
"Ew," said Yuffie. Leon stared.
"Whatever . . ."
"Riku's about to run away and never come back," said Cid.
Cloud burst into maniacal laughter.
"Don't worry," said Tifa, "we're always like this."
"Aren't you supposed to tell me that you're not always like this?" said Riku.
"Yes," said Leon.
"That's the point," said Yuffie.
"Look at how they finish each other's sentences," said Tifa.
"Stop it! You're scaring me."
Yuffie ran from the kitchen into the living room and sat as far away from Leon as she could manage. Cloud laughed harder.
"As deeply as that statement disturbs me, if it gets Yuffie away from me . . ." said Leon.
"Thanks, Tifa. Look what you started. Now Leon's going to be chasing after Yuffie just so that when she goes into hiding, he'll have peace," said Cid.
"Please don't," said Yuffie.
"The food's done in case anyone wants to shut up long enough to eat it," said Riku.
"Food?" said Yuffie, perking up. She ran back into the kitchen and bounced again, pulling on Riku's arm. "Feed me, feed me, feed me."
"You seriously give me a headache."
"You see what the restoration does to people? Yuffie's more out of her mind that usual," said Cloud. "And this is why I'm not painting tomorrow."
"I wasn't serious about having to, though if you wanted to . . ." said Leon.
"I already told you. Not interested. Pay attention."
"Whatever . . ."
Riku yanked his arm away from Yuffie and divided the portions among everyone at the house, handing them their food, and then took a seat beside Cloud at the counter. Leon, like Riku, smoked and ate at the same time.
"This was very sweet of you," said Aerith. "Thank you."
"It really wasn't any trouble."
"I hope you know that you'll have to feed Cloud when it's just the two of you," said Leon. "I wasn't kidding when I called him inept."
Heat rose into Riku's cheeks. He hoped that no one would notice.
"So . . . what happened to Mickey?"
"Oh, the king?" said Tifa. "He apparently knows Merlin quite well, so they worked together today, and Mickey's going to stay with him. I forgot, but he did say to let you know."
"I told Riku he's staying here and you wouldn't let it be any other way," said Cloud. "I hope I was right in assuming so."
Leon shook his head.
"No, I don't mind. I assumed he'd stay here what with your nymphomaniac tendencies and everything. Just keep it in the bedroom."
"Too late," said Cloud. Riku choked on his chicken. Cloud patted him on the back.
"We really didn't need to know that, Cloud," said Tifa.
"I'm sorry; it just came out. I couldn't keep my mouth shut."
"You can't ever keep your mouth shut," said Leon. "Fine. Keep it in the bedroom from now on."
"Oh, come on, Leon, you know I'm not going to keep to that."
Leon nodded.
"True."
"How about we just keep it to the bedroom when you're home?"
"Deal. Keep it out of my bedroom?"
"Deal."
Riku sunk his head in his hands.
"I'm sorry, Riku. I really can't keep my mouth shut."
"I want to stab myself to death."
"Riku's shy."
"Well what do you expect?" said Leon. "He's a fifteen year old kid. He's probably had less sexual experience in his life than you had in the week before you started dating him."
"That's not fair. I'm not a slut."
"Yeah," said Tifa. "We're talking about Cloud, not you. Cloud just . . . Cloud's idea of making sex more interesting is public places and the thrill that comes with a possibility of getting caught. Your idea is as many people as possible."
"Whatever."
A hand touched Riku's arm and he looked up to see Aerith smiling down at him.
"They don't mean anything by it. Really."
Riku nodded.
----------0-----------
"Are you angry?"
Riku lay on the couch, one of Leon's books in hand, dressed in a pair of Cloud's sweatpants and an old, tattered t-shirt. He glanced up from the pages to see Cloud in the bathroom doorway, freshly showered wearing only soft black pajama pants. His hair was still wet but sticking up in a thousand different directions. Riku smiled.
"No. I'm just . . . I don't know. Embarrassed."
"I'm sorry. I wasn't very good about being sensitive to your feelings."
"It's okay. It seems like that's the way you do things around here."
"We really don't mean anything by it."
Riku nodded, marked his place in the book, and set it aside.
"I know. I'm just not used to discussing my sex life at dinner."
"Sorry."
"Stop apologizing. It's fine. I need to get comfortable."
"Was it as bad as you expected?"
Riku laughed.
"A lot easier, actually. At least I got time to recover from being embarrassed while you all harassed each other."
"They don't know you well enough to harass you yet. So far they know that we're slept together, and that's all they have to go on."
"Did I do okay?"
"You told everyone to shut up and insulted Yuffie. Sure, she's the easiest target, but you don't know us well enough yet, either. You'll get the hang of it."
Cloud slid behind Riku on the couch and let his hands fall to Riku's shoulders, rubbing at the muscles. His fingertips traced Riku's back, softly sinking into the flesh, and Riku allowed his eyes to shut as his breathing slowed.
"That feels really good."
"You're awfully tense."
"I just want to make a good impression. So far everything they know about me is really shitty."
"Except for that I love you."
"That doesn't exactly speak in his favor," said Leon, walking through the room to the refrigerator. Riku opened his eyes and watched him pull out a carton of juice, which he carried into the living room.
"You still up?" said Cloud.
Leon sat in the armchair by the couch and nodded.
"For now. We've got a long day tomorrow so I've got to sleep soon, but it's still a little early."
"Six to seven?"
"Yeah. I don't want to be a dick or anything, but I am going to need you after tomorrow. I know you need to reconnect and everything, but . . ."
"I know. There's a lot of work to be done. I'll be there. I'll be cranky, but I'll be there."
"You're always cranky."
"Is there anything I can do to help?" asked Riku. Leon raised his eyebrows.
"You want to help?"
"Undo it," said Cloud. "He'll work you like a dog. Undo it now."
"I don't want to just sit around here and eat all your food without doing anything useful. I don't do well doing nothing for too long."
"Can you use a hammer?"
"Fuck that shit. If he's helping, he's going to paint with me because at least that'll have me in a better mood," said Cloud.
"But will it keep paint out of your ears?"
"Yes."
"Do I even want to know?" said Riku.
"No."
"Okay."
"Do you want to paint with Cloud? He can get moody."
"I think I can handle it."
"All right. Thanks. That'll help a lot. So not tomorrow, but the day after?"
"Yeah, I'll be there. Six in the morning, right?"
"Yeah. There will be coffee."
Riku laughed.
"I'm more nicotine dependent than caffeine dependent, but okay."
"I noticed. You smoke more than I do."
"It helps me deal with stress."
"And embarrassment," said Cloud.
"Yes, that too."
"Did we really embarrass you?" said Leon.
"A bit, but please don't apologize. Cloud's worn me out on apologies."
"We can watch it if you'd like."
"That would just make me more uncomfortable. I'm just . . . you know, a fifteen year old kid."
"I was actually surprised. I expected you to look older. I see why your age initially bothered him, but I also get why it doesn't anymore."
Cloud smiled and brushed his hand down Riku's arm, giving a little squeeze above the elbow.
"I told you he likes you," said Cloud.
Riku sighed.
"Is that what that means?"
"Yeah. That's a Leon Compliment."
"I guess I should leave you two alone," said Leon.
"No, it's okay," said Riku. "It's just a little awkward getting adjusted here. There's so many people, and I don't really know any of you, and—"
"And he's worried because he's got a lot of bad PR," said Cloud.
"I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we pass no judgment on you until we get to know you," said Leon. "What happened to you and what you've done is a lot better than what Cloud had people thinking before we knew it was you. It was actually a relief that all the secrecy was about Sora. I can't speak for everyone else, but for me, I think I've been hearing enough about you to base some sort of judgment, and now with meeting you, I'll tell you up front that I have no problem with you."
Riku smiled.
"Thanks."
"Don't stress about it. I meant it when I said you'd fit in just fine."
Riku nodded. The anxiety drained away.
"Really," said Riku. "Thank you."
"No problem. Now I really do have to head off to bed because there's a restoration that needs continued tomorrow. Have a good night boys, and keep all promiscuity down. I need rest."
"Will do," said Cloud. "I want to hear all about your Yuffie dreams."
Leon rolled his eyes and disappeared into the bedroom.
"Well?" said Cloud.
Riku sighed.
"Much easier than I expected."
I know the site is kind of screwy, so yes, this is the second update this week. If you haven't received your alerts . . . I know. I haven't received mine, either.
I did get three reviews though (I am hoping the lack of reviewers and views, though, is for a lack of alerts and not for a lack of interest), so to my three reviewers:
ChibiFrubaGirl: No, I wasn't actually mad at you or anything! I have tendonitis, so my hand was really swollen from shovelling ice for two and a half hours, my hands actually had ice formed over them, and it still took me two days after to finish getting all the ice off my car. I came inside, checked my email, and I got your review about cookies and your snow day. I was like, "You little bitch . . . Wish I still got snow days . . . grumble grumble . . ." But no, I wasn't actually mad at you. lol. Funny enough, Cloud did not give Riku a big hug in this chapter, but proceeded to make him feel more insecure. I think in the long run, though, Riku will feel more included, and that's better than a hug, maybe.
prettykitty3000: No, I didn't actually die. I went back to see what I wrote in the previous chapter and was like 8O. Oops. Heh. I was like, "Oh no, they're actually going to think I died. That's no good." My life is like that, too, where I'm really busy but I have no life. I mean, busy to me is spending a lot of time with my best friend watching anime, and I like to go to a lot of concerts. I saw My Chemical Romance on February 25th, I'm going to see Taste of Chaos on March 21st, and then I have Bamboozle in May, but there's two more MCR shows in my area in April and May, so if I can scrounge up the money . . . not to mention Fall Out Boy has that tour this summer, and as soon as AFI is back in the area . . . Because this is what I like to do in addition to write. See bands. And watch anime. I have to work a lot this summer, though, so that's no fun, but hey . . . yeah. I have no life. But enough about me . . . That word perfection is really scary. It makes me nervous about writing the next chapter because I'm always hoping it gets better than the one before, but improving on perfection just doesn't happen, so . . . hm. Keep it at the standard, maybe?
MangledEuphoria: Thanks for the myspace message. It made me happy. I don't get myspace messages often. Heh. I love Cloud and Riku, especially when it's Cloud and Riku with gutteral moans. They do take at least ten pages (or 100 chapters, lol). I'm glad you're still loving the story.
Thanks to everyone else who read and reviewed. Rock on.