Disclaimer: It isn't mine

A/N: I took way too long to write this, but I didn't really like what I had at first so I changed things around, deleted stuff and (mostly) added bits, so that's why. Also, I realise that I probably killed a few metaphors in this passage and, in my defence, they seemed like a good idea at the time I was writing this (1am) and I kind of like them now. Also, I should probably tell you that this is a building block chapter where stuff does happen but the plot has barely even started resolving itself. I'm sorry if I kept anyone waiting! Anyway, on to the chapter.

Chapter 2

Slipping into the shared bathroom of their small two-bedroom flat, still grumbling half-heartedly, Naruto hurried through most of his regular morning routine in order to climb into the shower, careful to lock the door first. It wouldn't do to have Sasuke walk in as he took care of himself. He felt horny, his body aching for sexual release and the feeling of closeness and sated comfort that came from sharing the act with another person. The last time he'd had that, he realised with sad frustration, had been in the last relationship before Sasuke. Since then, he had only been able to achieve a poor and lonely imitation of that: servicing himself.

He knew he couldn't afford to take too long though or Sasuke would catch onto exactly what he was doing in there. Naruto didn't want to hurt his lover's feelings, knowing that Sasuke could be touchy about a lot of things and he certainly didn't want to make him feel pressured. Whatever was stopping Sasuke from wanting sex was something he didn't know or understand, but he realised that this was one of the times that patience was required of him. He would have to endure and try to help in any way he could.

Quickly drying himself off, he went to get dressed, making sure that he had enough on him that he would be ready if he were to be suddenly put back on duty again. Both he and Sasuke had managed to procure a couple days of leave and Naruto and his team would have to go out again the next day, though the mission briefing was to take place later this day. That gave the both of them the rest of this morning, part of the afternoon and most of the evening to spend together.

As he looked in the mirror, absent-mindedly trying to make himself look good for Sasuke in the hope of being found sexy, he wondered what they could do today. The morning was obviously going to be spent restocking a lot of their supplies – Naruto had an unfortunate habit of losing a lot of kunai and breaking the wooden handles on some of his knives or chipping the blades too much, while Sasuke seemed to like charring his. On his last mission, the Uchiha had managed to melt one of his spools of garrotte wire, but he guessed it should have been expected. Maybe they'd be able to make a date out of getting lunch? Food dates were always the best in Naruto's opinion

He grinned into the mirror one last time and walked into the kitchen, smelling the delicious scents that wafted from within. His eyes lit up as he saw what Sasuke was making and he wrapped his arms around the other in delight. Scrambled eggs, fried shrimp, steamed rice dumplings and –

"Aw, Sasuke, you even made the spicy sauce stuff that goes so well with the rice buns! Have I told you how much I love you recently?"

Sasuke raised one finely shaped eye-brow at him, his smirk not quite as hidden as he thought it was. "Who says any of this is for you? Maybe I made it just so you could watch me eating it."

But Naruto just grinned back affably, eyes twinkling. "Come on, Sasuke. You don't like any of this stuff together – you always tell me it's weird and I'm the only person you know who would even have this all on the same table. You don't care for scrambled eggs, you don't believe in eating fried anything in the morning – about the only thing you don't mind in this spread is the rice buns with the spicy stuff, which I can see you made extra. And you've made miso soup for yourself as well; it's right there on the counter. So ha! You can't fool me!" He quickly moved the dishes to the table so that they could sit and eat comfortably, talking all the while, "But anyway, I was thinking, you wanna make lunch a date? The briefing is at three, so after we've finished buying stuff we can spend an hour or so doing whatever. I'm not going to see you for another six days after all and even then not very much."

Happily making plans and looking forward to the rest of the day, Naruto dug into his food with gusto, appreciating the work Sasuke had put into the meal with loud enthusiasm. The small smile that he received was enough to make him forget any troubles he harboured and to spur him on. It still amazed him sometimes, seeing how much Sasuke had changed after he had left the village. The Uchiha had learned a lot, not just about ninja-related things, but also himself and life. He was freer and more open now – not too open, of course, he was still Sasuke – but the burdens he had carried on his shoulders had lightened and he was better able to carry them. The shadows in his eyes were no longer all encompassing and Naruto knew just how much it had taken to get to this point.

For Sasuke, spending so much time on his own, dwelling on his obsessions in his every waking minute had been exhausting and it had given him time to think about a lot of things. There had been nothing to distract him from thinking and dreaming of his goals, no Naruto yelling or demanding his time or trying to prove he was better, no Sakura trying constantly to get closer, none of the amusements of everyday life as it had been in Konoha to divert his attentions. Before he had run away, Sasuke had often cursed all these things for happening and occupying precious space in his mind when he had been trying so hard to shut out the world and hate as his brother had told him to. After he left the village, he had realised that not all the jutsu and techniques in the world could fill up enough space in his mind for him to not want those distractions.

At the end of it all, it hadn't been what he had expected either. Even killing Orochimaru – the man he knew was ruthlessly exploiting him and would stab him in the back like the snake he was as soon as he had the chance – hadn't given him a hint of the satisfaction he'd thought it would. Seeing Itachi dead at his feet hadn't made anything better; the pain didn't go away – in only intensified when he realised he had been crying as he dealt the final blow and understood that he had never actually managed to make himself hate Itachi, the aching emptiness within him had made him feel like he was rotting inside, the loneliness he had felt nearly all of his life suddenly intensified till he felt like he was suffocating – he really was the last Uchiha now – and shock of having actually achieved what had always seemed so impossible gave him the sense of hanging over an infinitely deep chasm. The one thing that had made him keep himself alive after seeing the brother he had worshipped kill everyone he loved, that had driven him onward and it was gone and what was there to live for after that? He was still alive – something Sasuke had certainly not expected – he had the rest of his life ahead of him and he had absolutely no idea what to do about it. He had been aimless.

Picking himself up and putting himself back together into some semblance of working order after that had been a chore, but it had allowed him another chance at life. He had repaired some things and rearranged a few more and Sasuke had looked at the world again with (somewhat) new eyes. Or new spectacles. Or maybe they were the eyes he'd had when he was younger, before that awful day when the world had been (relatively) simple and trouble-free and he was using them again. But he had definitely changed for the better.

xoxoxoxo

It wasn't long before they were out of the house and making their way through the many specialist ninja equipment shops. They were quick to find what they needed, having gotten accustomed to certain styles and knowing what they were most comfortable with, though they were capable of using almost any kind of weaponry efficiently.

Once they had purchased everything they required, bags bulging with specialised paraphernalia (it had been a while since they had last been able to do this), they headed to one of the several food stalls that lined streets and were ready to service hungry shoppers. Naruto's insistence on lunch becoming a date meant that they took their take-away meals (ramen for Naruto, of course, and special rice-balls and meat dumplings for Sasuke) to the park and sat down under the shade of a large leafy tree to eat. It was like having a picnic or something, he'd said adamantly. And Sasuke had decided it was easier to indulge, though, secretly and even if he would never admit to it, he liked these dates too. Naruto enjoyed being romantic and his enthusiasm carried his partner away too.

There was something nice about sitting close as they ate and talked about their plans, however short-term or work orientated they were, in the park, surrounded by all sorts of people who had decided to spend their day in similar manner. Something mundane and special at the same time. It was the sort of carefree outing that Sasuke had often wished to have with his family when he had been younger. He let his eyes wander, inattentively studying the people around them, as he finished his meal and Naruto started in on his third bowl of pork ramen, lending an absent minded ear to the words coming out of the blond's mouth. This was the end of the last period of peace and relaxation they would have together in a while now, as they had applied to take most of the leave they'd acquired at the same time, so he wanted to savour it before embarking on the hectic stretch of missions lay ahead of them.

There was an old couple on an outing with their grandchildren, probably, watching indulgently as the two young children, looking around five years of age, gabbled and tried to engage them in games invented through over-active imaginations. A young woman, probably on her lunch hour break, sat alone on a bench with a bento on her lap. A mixed group of civilian school-aged children, alternating between studying and fooling about, lay on the grass in a loosely formed circle. A young couple, constantly touching and kissing each other, cuddled together.

Sasuke frowned at the last scene, feeling uncomfortable with their actions for several reasons. How could they act in such a manner is a public place? So many people could see them, children included. It wasn't right. Those kinds of practices were meant for private places, behind closed doors. And it made him feel awkward and uneasy to see those youths doing it so easily and enjoying it so evidently, feelings that had been resurfacing frequently since the failed attempts at intimacy between him and Naruto. He shifted his eyes away and back to Naruto, not wanting to dwell on the feelings that were suddenly building up inside him at the sight.

He realised then that Naruto had stopped talking and had been silent for a while, turning only to find that blue gaze resting on him. He couldn't help his cheeks from colouring a little at the thought that he hadn't even realised he was being watched.

"What?"

"Nothing." Naruto just smiled back at him.

Sasuke looked down, not quite understanding what the churning feeling in his chest was meant to be.

They walked to the Hokage's Tower together and when Naruto went inside for his briefing, Sasuke turned to the hospital building near by, deciding that seeing Sakura would help him while away the hour or two Naruto would take to finish. She had been busy at the hospital when not on missions and their free time hadn't coordinated well. The original Team Seven hadn't seen as much of each other as they would have liked to recently.

When he climbed the stairs to the floor Sakura was in the most and asked the receptionist at the desk where he could find her, he was lucky to find Sakura in the staff room doing nothing of importance. Well, she was trying to balance a pencil on her nose. Sasuke raised an eyebrow questioningly and cleared his throat to gain her attention. The pencil dropped.

"Oh hey, Sasuke! Good to see you! What's going on?" Seeing the raised eyebrow, she sighed, realising she would have to explain herself. "I'm bored. I've finished rounds and now all I have left is to fill in forms and do write ups for the records. It's mindless and boring and I'm trying to avoid doing it for as long as I can." She nudged the surprisingly tall stack of paperwork in front of her on the coffee table and glared at it hatefully.

"That looks like a lot. How long have you been putting it off for?"

"Uh, hehehe…a week?"

Sasuke stared blandly at her.

"You don't understand how boring it is! It's not urgent anyway. It just has to be done – eventually. Anyway, come sit down and talk to me and help me put it off for a little while longer. I promise I'll get it done later. How's Naruto? He's going off on a mission soon, isn't he?"

"Yeah. I'll be leaving a little after he does. I've been getting some pretty simple missions lately but they're saying that they might promote me. I could be let into ANBU soon, which means they trust me now."

"Really?! That's awesome Sasuke, I'm so happy for you. It definitely took them long enough – I mean your circumstances were justified. It was pretty annoying that they held out so long and made you work your way up from gennin so slowly."

"Yeah, but it'll be alright now. They've always known how high my level of skill was." There was only a tiny hint of arrogance in his tone – he was speaking the truth after all.

Sakura laughed and reached over to wrap her arms around his shoulders. "You know what? This is worthy of a celebratory toast. We should go out and have a cocktail or something – okay, maybe a cocktail for me and something more manly for you." She waved placating in the face of his scowl. Just because he was in a relationship with another man, didn't mean he was a girl and Sakura knew it. "Anyway, anyway, I've been meaning to talk to you about that Certain Event." She lowered her voice to a hushed whisper while she looked at the shadows in the room somewhat suspiciously.

Sasuke raised his eyebrow again. Sometimes he could swear that working in the hospital and under Tsunade was doing strange things to her mind. Either that or one of the odder members of the Original Rookie Nine had rubbed off on her a little too much.

"You mean, Naruto's Birthday Party?" He winced a little at her loud shushing sound and talked over her, "Sakura, you don't have to whisper or talk in code words. Naruto isn't here. No-one is and pretty much everyone that isn't Naruto knows about it. Also, the dobe is stupid – I promise he won't catch on to what we're doing."

"You're sure?" Sakura wrung her hands a little nervously. "I mean, I know he's dense, but he's also unpredictable. You never know when he might have one of those bright flashes or find out by accident."

"I've got that covered. Anyway, I ordered a cake – snacks and beverages, I'll get closer to the day – and got streamers and decorations, which you'll have to help me put up because I don't know what to do with them – are you still free on that Friday?"

"Yep. And I've told everyone about it and where they have to be too. The distraction is apparently being perfected as we speak – Kiba, Shika and Chouji have that mission. I think it's either going to be a guys day out thing or one of them is going to have a crisis of self. I don't know what that means…."

The door banged open at that moment, admitting two female nurses, a blonde and a redhead, and one of Sakura's fellow med-nin, a tall brunette, all engrossed in their gossipy conversation. All the girls were wearing hospital scrubs and where the nurses were carrying a few charts the other nin was carrying a stack of papers almost as tall as she was with some measure of difficulty and looked comically like the stack itself had legs.

"You dumped him?! No way! He seemed like such a nice guy!" The redhead seemed genuinely shocked.

"Well, that's what I thought too, but sometimes when things seem too good to be true – they are." The blonde nodded sagely as she said, as if dispensing valuable advice.

"But why? Where did he lose points?" The med-nin's voice carried out from behind the stack as she walked into the room.

"He sucked in bed. Like, actually sucked. He just kept pumping, for like half an hour – didn't even change rhythm – and it was so boring. He couldn't even get me off; I had to just fake it in the end. I am so not calling him back. It was worse than when I lost my virginity. Actually, I don't even know why I liked him in the first place – I think he's just another one of those pretty faces." The blonde pursed her lips and shook her head to emphasise her comments.

"Seriously – the same rhythm for that long? Wow, that's bad. Actually, that's unbelievable. You could get better sex with a vibrator. I don't blame you for letting him go. I mean, a girl has urges to satisfy too, you know?" The redhead patted her friend on the shoulder as if to console her and reassure her that everybody made mistakes.

"That sucks Rika." The brunette put her load down on the table and heaved a sigh of relief as she sat down. "Oh hey, Sakura. I see you can't put off the paperwork any longer either, huh? Rika had another unsuccessful date last night – Masaki has definitely been crossed off the list! How's it going between you and that Lee boy anyway? You thinking of taking the relationship any further yet?" From the way Sakura blushed at that and stuttered a little, Sasuke knew exactly what that meant. "Oh and who's this?" She finally caught sight of Sasuke and looked at him curiously, with a hint of interest in her gaze.

"Hey guys. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out, Rika – I'm sure you'll find a guy who'll do right by you in and out of bed eventually. Lee and I have barely got to the kissing and holding hands stage so you can wait a while before you ask me that question again, Taki. And this is my old team mate, Sasuke Uchiha. Sasuke, these are Rika, Kiku and Takiko." She gestured to the blonde, the redhead and the brunette in turn.

"Sasuke? As in the Sasuke?!" The cry resonated with three voices combined. It was then Sasuke thought it best that he leave. He had always trusted his instincts and right now they were yelling at him to run away.

"I have…things to do. Bye Sakura."

As he left, Sasuke couldn't help but feel a little unsure of himself. The conversation that the girls were having when they'd walked into the staff common room wouldn't stop replaying itself in his head. Was sex really that important an aspect of a relationship? Was it really that big a deal?

Naruto left early in the morning the next day, making Sasuke stir from his own sleep as he went about dressing and preparing himself, re-checking his pack for the last time. Sasuke watched him move about the bedroom with half-lidded eyes, rolling into the small dip on Naruto's side of the bed, waiting for the small nod Naruto made when he was finally satisfied with the arrangement of his pack. When it came, he smiled a little in amusement in knowing his partner's quirks and as Naruto turned and moved towards him. He closed his eyes, trying to pretend he was dozing and waited for the kiss he knew was going to come before Naruto left. When it didn't, he opened his eyes, a little confused. He found Naruto looking down at him, a leering grin etched across his face as his blue eyes roved over him playfully.

"You know, you look hot when you're all stretched out in bed like that. It's like you're just waiting for me to come and pounce."

Sasuke just raised his eyebrows in the same unflappable way he always had and rose to his knees.

"Yeah, well, I don't like to be kept waiting." He put his arms around Naruto's neck and pulled down so he could kiss him on the cheek and into a tight embrace, where Naruto returned the kiss almost as chastely as it had been given. "Do it well."

Naruto grinned wide as he untangled himself from their hug, and picked up his pack. He slung it over his shoulder, chuunin vest still unzipped in that haphazard way of his and threw an "I always do!" behind him as he left the house.

Shutting the front door behind him, Sasuke headed straight for the shower, wanting to wash off the travel dust from his mission. It had only been a minor mission; hardly needing someone of Sasuke's ability, except that the document that needed to be delivered had been of fairly great importance, had to be delivered with haste and had quite a distance to travel. He hadn't needed a team and hadn't needed to stay for a reply. His report with the Hokage had been brief and now he was home, back before Naruto returned though he had left after. Naruto was due back the next day and Sasuke was looking forward to seeing him again.

Once he was clean and had had something to eat, he wandered around the apartment looking for something to do that wouldn't take too much effort. The apartment was in a rather untidy state from both Naruto's and Sasuke's pre-mission packing sessions and Sasuke didn't like to leave things in such a way if he could help it.

Of course, once he'd started that task, he found himself tidying and cleaning throughout the house, unable to leave even the little things he knew weren't that bad. He'd been going about the work somewhat mindlessly for about an hour or so when he accidentally managed to tear a bag of soldier pills open, wanting to put them in his pouch in preparation for his next mission, making them roll around the room and under various pieces of furniture. He'd put a little too much effort in opening the plastic wrapping. Sighing, he dropped to his knees to search them out, reaching under places he couldn't see with wide sweeps of his arm. Well, at least he knew how many he was looking for – there were only six in each bag.

The search took longer than he expected. He found two under the couch, one that had managed to roll into the kitchen area, one that had somehow managed to roll under the door into the bathroom, and one under the small coffee table in the middle of the room. There was just one left and he was convinced it was behind the weapons cabinet they kept in the living room – he had searched everywhere else. He peered down into the narrow darkness and huffed as pulled the heavy wooden frame away from the wall. And there it was…along with a few pieces of paper and some magazines.

Unable to curb his curiousity, he put the little red soldier pill into the pouch with the others absent-mindedly, and reached in to see what else may have fallen behind the cabinet.

Immediately, his stomach plummeted as he saw the covers, the lack of settled dust and well worn condition they were in – as if the pages had been leafed through rather frequently. Breathing shakily, he couldn't stop himself paging through himself, seeing the pictures of beautiful, slim men and pretty, buxom women lounging in provocative positions and seductive poses with alluring looks on their faces. Naruto had looked through these pages recently, he realised. Naruto had looked through them too often and too recently. Because of Sasuke. Because Sasuke couldn't give him the satisfaction he needed. It made him wonder what was wrong with him, why he couldn't do something that was so natural and came so easily to everyone else. It wasn't right. Usually he was the one that things came easily to – he wasn't used to struggling with himself, wasn't used to not understanding and it frustrated him. He needed to find a way to make it right, to fix whatever it was that was wrong him and get rid of whatever strange block was in his head that was stopping him from wanting and enjoying sex.

Sighing, Sasuke put them back where he had found them and manoeuvred the large antique cabinet back into place carefully. He wouldn't confront Naruto about this – it was an issue he wasn't quite sure he was ready to face yet himself. He wasn't even sure what sort of answer or solution could solve it so, for now, he would leave it. He would try his best to forget and pretend that he hadn't seen anything.

The mission had been a trying one and Naruto and his team were only too glad to be back within the safe confines of the Leaf Village. Their target had been fast and sly, dangerously deadly and confident in his abilities. He had led the Konoha team in merry, winding circles for days, taunting them by slipping through their grasps time and time again and nearly defeating them one time too many. He had injured Kiba badly at one point and Naruto thanked whatever higher power or maybe just serendipity that the knife hadn't made it's mark just two inches lower and a little to the right in the dog-boy's heart. However, there was a reason that they had all been worthy of ANBU and their level of skill combined with the fact that they outnumbered the enemy four-to-one eventually meant that there was one less S-class criminal causing havoc in the world.

They were all still a little wired up from the action and Naruto itched to release the pent up energy in a physical way. He'd run all the way from the Hokage Tower, after giving his report, in the dying sunset, unable to turn off the silence of his footsteps despite the fact that the stealth was no longer needed. He could still feel the paranoia that came with mission mode making him jump to the ready or turn for cover in the blink of an eye. It was taking all he had to resist those ingrained reflexes. He needed to get home and back to Sasuke. He needed to hold Sasuke and make sure he was alright The mission had affected him more than he had realised before. It had been a long time since Naruto could be compared to anything like the 'dead last' he had been when he was younger. He was powerful now, had grown to know himself and know how to use his power and that of the Kyuubi inside him in the most effective ways and that had made him near invincible in recent years. There weren't many who could outmatch him – Sasuke was one of the few who had the honour of being on that list – and the fact that someone nearly had just a day past had shaken the blond considerably. He had very nearly been unable to come home to Sasuke. And he wasn't sure what that would have done to someone who had lost so much already.

He needed to see Sasuke and make sure that he was alright – that he had come back from his own mission unscathed. He needed to reassure himself and his partner that they were both okay. He couldn't imagine what would have happened if it had been Sasuke in that position. Naruto had spent too much of his life running after Sasuke trying to save him from every possible danger – including himself – to be capable of seeing the Uchiha in any more. To put him in any more. It was the reason they weren't allowed to be on the same team anymore – the rules against fraternisation. He cared too much about Sasuke now to be able to do his job properly if there was even the slightest chance that his partner could be threatened. They were lovers, in the emotional sense at least if not in the physical capacity.

He climbed in through the living room window, picking the lock and almost but not quite surprising Sasuke as he came out of the kitchen. His body moved almost of its own accord, unfurling from its crouch on the ground before the windowsill to its full height to then engulf Sasuke in his embrace. He held him tight for a few long moments and, before he even realised what he was doing, he had Sasuke's face in his hands and he was kissing him – long and slow and deep. It was heaven. Sasuke tasted sweet and warm and there was a hint of spice from the food had just eaten. He moaned into it and buried one hand in that thick, black hair while the other went to the small of Sasuke's back to pull him closer and press their bodies flush against each other.

It took him a little too long to realise that Sasuke wasn't returning the kiss – that Sasuke had tensed up in his hold as if it was taking all he had to just stay there and not push Naruto away. That brought a hot rush of emotion – guilt, shame, hurt and rejection – through his body, coiling in the pit of his stomach. And over it all was frustration.

He needed this, damn it! He needed the physical contact and the reassurance – the intimacy. Why couldn't Sasuke give that to him?! Wasn't he good enough? Did Sasuke not find him attractive?! What was it that was stopping Sasuke from doing what came so easily to so many others? Even Hinata, for all her timidity and focus on being proper, hadn't been so hesitant to lose her virginity.

Other couples went home and fucked each other stupid because that was how much they wanted and needed each other. Naruto and Sasuke on the other hand – everything they did was chaste. They had never even lain down naked together. When they slept there was always some form of clothing to separate them. Naruto desperately wanted to strip the both of them down till they were completely bare and press their bodies together from head to toe. To study and know every inch of that pale skin like he knew his mind – like he knew how he fought and how he moved, what he liked to eat and drink and wear, what he thought about this and that from different flavours of ramen to international politics. But he couldn't. Because Sasuke wasn't comfortable enough to do that for some reason.

His hands curled around Sasuke's shoulders, gripping them tight. He held him for a moment, allowing the length of his arms to create a distance between them and just looked.

"Sorry. I forgot – you can't do that, can you?" His voice was clipped and insincere. He knew he was hurting Sasuke's feelings, but he couldn't bring himself to take it back or care too much. His own pain made itself felt more keenly than that which was reflected in Sasuke's eyes.

He pushed the Uchiha away, watched him stumble back a little and hang his head with dispassionate eyes and turned, heading for the bathroom.

So what did you guys think? Feedback would be loved and greatly appreciated - and I love concrit dearly. Hopefully, since the Christmas holidays start in like two weeks, the next chapter won't take as long to come. I'm thinking there will be about six chapters on the whole. But anyway - review? Please? I shall give you psychic love over the internet in return for your thoughts. XDD