Help Yourself First: Chapter 2

"Well you got what you want

What you never knew.

A perfect gift from me to you."

Foster the People

Logan woke up from his peaceful coma to a door slamming. He figured it must have been his mother in one of her moods again. Even though she had just entered her forties, Mrs. Mitchell was going through menopause. This meant Joanna Mitchell had to torture her family and anyone else who had the misfortune of being in her presence with her hot flashes, night sweats, and Logan's favorite, mood swings. Times like these made Logan extremely happy he wasn't a girl.

Loud yelling travelled down the hall to Logan's room as the pale boy got ready to go on his morning run. Most likely, it was Joanna yelling at her husband Austin over the phone. The man of the Mitchell household was in even higher demand than his wife as a civil engineer. He was always away on business, to his family's dismay.

Lately, Logan had been seeing his father less and less. It most likely had to do with his mother's newfound irritability. Unfortunately, Mrs. Mitchell loved to call her husband, when he wasn't there to yell at in person. The poor man was constantly being harped on to fix the creaky door and repaint the kitchen. This was really just Joanna's crazy way of saying she missed her husband, by giving him reasons why he should come home.

Logan thought it was a wonderful advantage. As much as Logan loved his mother, he sometimes wished he could mute the woman or just hang up. It's not like the pale boy would do it anyway. He was raised to respect women, especially his mother. However, it would be nice just to have the option.

Plus, Logan's mother only badgered him about cleaning his car, eating more, and putting the toilet seat down in his own bathroom. When she couldn't find anything else to complain about, she would ask why Logan wasn't happy. As usual, Logan cleverly evaded the subject. His mother only cared, but he did not want to give her another reason to be upset.

The older Mitchell's did not know of their son's sexual orientation. When Logan was in the seventh grade, he began to have feelings for boys along with the profuse sweating and wet dreams that came with puberty. Camille was the person who helped her pale friend come to terms with his sexuality when she caught him staring at boys more than girls. Eventually, they told their other friend, Dak. Logan was extremely thankful to have friends that accepted and supported him.

When the trio went to high school, Logan wasn't obvious about his sexuality. He wasn't trying to hide it. He just didn't point out how cute the soccer captain's ass looked in his uniform. If a person asked politely if the nerd was gay, Logan would simply say yes and keep on moving. Honestly, the pale boy thought it was no one's business.

In school, Logan excelled at everything he did. One could say he was the 'cool nerd'. He was at the top of class and student council president. Yet, he still had a decent amount of friends. People loved him for his honesty, and the fact that he was one of the few drama free people in the school. If only they knew the secrets that lied behind that pretty porcelain face. Logan had his secrets. He was just better at hiding the secret meetings, occasional limp in his step, and perpetual longing for his love more than most.

James was always better at it, though.

As Logan walked downstairs, he contemplated breakfast. Unfortunately, he woke up late due to exhaustion from the prior mental breakdown in the car. Therefore, he had just enough time to run for an hour and dress himself so he could volunteer at the library all day, again. Usually, he would wake up about an hour earlier so he could eat breakfast, and then go running a half hour later.

It wasn't good to go running on a full or empty stomach. So, Logan had to time his meals just right so he wouldn't overwork his body or throw up while he ran. Since Logan was only running for an hour, it was okay to eat afterwards.

Next, Logan, clad in a t-shirt and basketball shorts, needed to get BamBam ready. Right on cue, the dog came into Logan's room, pink tongue hanging out of his mouth and tail wagging behind him. Then, he wiggled as its owner put the harness on him, desperately trying to turn it into a belly rub.

The Mitchell family adopted the puppy five years ago with hopes of making twelve-year-old Logan less antisocial. Since then, the two had been inseparable.

Honestly, no one, including the vet was quite sure what kind of dog BamBam was. He had a bit of pit bull mixed in, which gave him such a short, yet, incredibly muscular build. Also, he had a rich golden coat that belonged to a Labrador. There were also a couple of other breeds mixed in.

After everything that happened, BamBam was the only thing that could still get the nerd to smile. One look into those dark brown eyes, and Logan forgot about his problems. BamBam's company was almost therapeutic.

Finally, the two Mitchells walked outside. Logan began to stretch while BamBam chased squirrels in the yard.

Before, James and his dog, Fox, would go running with them. Now, it was just Logan and BamBam. Again, Logan was almost knocked over by a wave of sorrow.

At this point, Logan didn't care about injuring himself. He needed to run. So, the stretching was abandoned, and a whistle erupted from Logan's lips. At the shrill noise, BamBam came running at his owner with the leather leash dragging behind him.

Slowly, Logan jogged out of his driveway. Even though, he wanted to start out fast, he did not want to actually pull something. His mind started to drift as his muscles warmed.

When Logan ran with James, it was one of the few times the two spent as a couple outside of their rooms. These were the moments Logan loved the most. Just the two of them talking and laughing in their own little world, guarded by the haze of sleep everyone else was in.

James and Logan didn't always feel like running, but their circadian clocks would not let them go back to sleep. So, they would take over Logan's kitchen and cook breakfast for the Mitchell family. Austin and Joanna were always happy to see James.

The secret couple tried cooking for the Diamonds once, but it was hard to enjoy breakfast with James's parents hammering Logan with questions when they weren't arguing between themselves. No one should have to endure that, any time of day. That was probably why James's was never at home when both of his parents were.

Being the excellent students, the nerd and athlete were always busy. It always hard for the two to find time to be intimate, but, sometimes, it was extremely difficult. So, Logan and James, being teenage boys, would occasionally start their day off with sex in James's car (Logan refused to get his dirty).

Strangely, what bothered Logan wasn't having sex in James's car. He was used to that. What bothered him was that he had to endure the day walking around with a limp. James's was usually desperate at those times. Therefore, the sex was rough and even more rushed than usual.

When, Logan got back home to get dressed, his parents would tell him that he "must have run really hard". If only, they knew.

A bark from BamBam startled Logan out of his thoughts, and the pale boy noticed that he was running surprisingly fast. He would have to have an ice bath after his run.

Logan looked at the thing that excited his normally quiet dog, and then cursed under his breath. Down the street, was Brooke Diamond, CEO of Diamond Cosmetics, walking with Fox, who was happily barking to his estranged friend.

Brooke was clad in a designer sweat suit, along with the usual jewelry. Logan wondered how someone could put so much effort into going for a walk in the morning when everyone was sleeping.

The woman was like an old antique doll. No matter how gorgeously painted her face was, she would always appear flawed. Her smile was never genuine, but forced. Her eyes were cold as if some unknown force were sucking the life of her. No matter how much makeup and Botox the women underwent, she would always be a hollow shell, cracking along with her marriage.

Any average person would be able to believe the façade known as the Diamonds, but Logan knew them better than that. All he had to do was look at James. The tanned teen acted just as fake as his mother when around the football or hockey team. James was always the star of the show, but it always looked as though all he wanted was to fade into the background.

This fleeting look was the most prominent on the night of the party. It was the only party that Logan ever went to in his high school career. And, that was only because James was going with him. Not Camille or Lucy or Amanda, but him. Logan or "that nerdy little kid" as Jett liked to call him.

It didn't matter to Logan that it interrupted their romantic weekend. It didn't matter that James's reputation was more important than celebrating their belated six-month anniversary (James's parents were out of town). It didn't matter that the dinner Logan had prepared at James's house was getting cold. None of it mattered. All Logan wanted was to spend time with James.

"Logan?" asked Brooke, in a sickeningly sweet voice, laced with concern.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Diamond," the dark-haired boy said, snapping out of his thoughts.

"I'm just a little dizzy. It's been a while since I last ate."

Brooke nodded her head in understanding. Logan took that as a sign that she bought his weak lie.

Then, Brooke's icy blue gaze locked with Logan's, and the boy panicked inside. He knew that look. That was the look James's always gave him when he had to ditch him on a date, followed by a look of sympathy.

She wanted something. Whatever it was, Logan knew he should try to leave.

"Well, I have to go volunteer at the library this in an hour. Plus, I have to go shower and get dressed, too. Sorry, but I have to leave Mrs. Diamond. Have a nice d-."

"Stay," she interrupted right as Logan turned around to leave.

"Come again, Ma'am," I asked, confused and slightly scared.

"You have plenty of time. My son used to give you a lot less time to get ready when you two spent those mornings in his car," she said, smirking.

Logan turned cherry red at the woman's words.

"Oh, you thought I didn't know? One day, I came home from business to hear you screaming his name," she stated. Her tone wasn't disgusted. It was just factual.

The pale boy just stood there with his mouth hanging wide open, wondering if it was possible for his face to turn any redder.

Finally, he willed himself to speak.

"D-did James know?"

Mrs. Mitchell smiled. It was the kind of false grin that a person would give to humor a small, naive child that had said something silly.

"Of course I told him, Logan. He was actually quite happy that I knew at first."

"Then, why didn't he tell me?" Logan asked, feeling hurt all of sudden that he didn't know this vital piece of information.

"Again, he was happy at first. I told him that it was okay to be gay, but he could not come out at school or anywhere else. I did not want it to affect his college acceptance or get him kicked off of the hockey team."

At these words, Logan's blood began to boil.

"How could you tell your own son that? Didn't you want him to be happy at all? Do you know how many times he would cry because he couldn't come out? You are a horrible mother," he yelled. His anger and sadness for James was forgotten. All he felt was sympathy that his former lover had to deal with this awful woman that was supposed to be his mother.

A mother was supposed to support her child and stand by them. Brooke cut James down more. She was just digging his hole deeper.

Brooke took a breath before she spoke, "I was just trying to protect his future."

"Whatever Brooke. You're just a heartless bitch, and I'm glad that James is in New York, far away from you. I hope you said a proper goodbye when he left. It just may have been the last time you see him," he spat, disgusted at the woman's poor excuse.

The businesswoman stood there, shocked at the pale boys words. Logan, himself, was shocked. Never had he spoken to anyone that way, especially a woman, but Brooke deserved it. She put James through so much pain. Maybe, he and James's relationship could have survived without that mother-son talk.

Either way, it was too late now. James was on the other side of the country. They were over.

Then, Logan ran.

Once again, his mind couldn't help but linger on James as he started to cry. He almost felt a new love for James at the discovery of this newfound information.

In an instant, it all disappeared as quickly as it came. What James did was wrong, and there was no way Logan would ever forgive him. The pale boy needed to get over his ex. This breakup was destroying him.

Things were harder said than done, though. He still couldn't help but cry. His feelings were so conflicted.

Despite the burning in his legs, Logan kept on running. Each step, he tried to release as much frustration as possible. Finally, Logan rounded the last corner and sprinted to his house for the last few minutes.

Loud yells were seeping through the walls of the house, as he walked toward the door. That's when Logan noticed the extra car parked in the driveway beside his own car, along with his mother's.

Mr. Mitchell was home.

Logan's father had left earlier in the week and said he would be gone for five days to investigate some problems with a project in another state. However, it has only been three days. Logan wasn't sure why his father was home. Austin Mitchell was one of the most successful people in his field. There is no way he was fired. He probably just finished early.

No matter what the reason, Logan was going to find out later. He did not want to be in his mother's line of fire. Right now, Mr. Mitchell was in her radius, and that was okay with the pale boy. It may have been wrong to use his father as a decoy, but Logan was running late, and he did not have time to deal with Joanna. So, his father could take it for now. Logan would say hi to him later.

Slowly, the dark-haired boy opened up the front door with his key, sweat dripping down his face and hair plastered to his forehead. He tried to make it to the stairs as silently as possible in order to be hidden by his yelling parents.

It was easy to cut through the kitchen and sneak past his parents. Then, like in every teenage movie Logan had ever seen, the steps gave him away. He had been living in this house for seventeen years. It was a bit old. As soon as his foot grazed the third step, a large creak erupted into the air.

All was silent.

Logan sighed, knowing he was caught, "Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. I would love to talk to you right now, but I need to take an ice bath."

The elder Mitchells walked into the room with cheeks reddened from their arguing.

"But, Logan, you haven't eaten breakfast. And have you been crying," protested Mrs. Mitchell, concerned with worry.

"I know, mom. I will eat in the car," Logan said completely ignoring his mother's other question.

Then, he ran upstairs before they could even respond and got ready. Throughout all of it, the prior events of the morning kept replaying in his mind.

Finally, he walked downstairs, grabbed an apple, and drove. As he left, he prayed his day would go better than yesterday.

I know it's moving slow, but it will pick up. Logan meets Kendall in the next chapter. I wanted to make this chapter longer, but it's coming along slower than I thought. I don't like the way this turned out.

Review please? Thank you for reading.