Title: 100 Steps To Somewhere
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: 040. Music
Word Count: 7,556
Rating: M
Summary: The holiday season wasn't as merry and bright as Cloud was accustomed to. In fact, he kept feeling this unexplainable anger. One might call it jealousy, but Cloud's just really pissed off at Leon.
Disclaimer: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.
Step Forty: Blinded
The weeks leading up to Christmas passed in a frenzied blur. With the orphanage finished, Tifa and Yuffie moved the orphans in while Aerith found a matron to overlook the children and planned a holiday celebration. Their time was so consumed by the project that it left no room for anything else. Cid began plans for clearing out the bailey and postern up to the castle as he and Leon labored over the town's defense mechanism. At first Mickey and Merlin assisted Riku and Cloud with much of the grunt work until Cloud learned Riku was skilled with computers and he started work on the defense system, too.
When Riku was still working with Cloud, Mickey, and Merlin, they went to acquire a giant evergreen for the market. Merlin used his magic to assist with the decorating high atop the tree (star included). Mickey took care of the decorations close to the ground. Cloud and Riku handled the rest. After the tree, the path leading the castle needed cleared of gravel and debris for the defense system. While Cloud and Mickey shoveled (though it was mostly Cloud because Mickey's shovel was so much smaller), Merlin moved larger boulders from the pathway. This was around the time Leon started complaining about the computer system, Riku took a look at it, and Cid recruited Riku for further assistance.
The muscles in Cloud's neck tensed. After long days of shoveling and heaving smaller boulders, he sat in the living room as he listened to Riku and Leon talk about their day in Merlin's house. He'd been feeling this way a lot over the past few weeks—tired and restless. He retired to bed early and remained quiet most of the time he spent with Leon and Riku. He doubted they cared; they had more than enough to discuss without Cloud interrupting. He had nothing to add to their conversations, anyway—much of what they talked about made little sense to him.
An empty, nagging sensation swirled in his stomach and seized his heart when he looked at them sitting in the kitchen, smoking and talking, completely engrossed. An unexplainable desire to bring the Buster sword down on Leon's head coursed through his veins when Riku and Leon shared jokes you "had to be there" to understand. When Riku couldn't find a lighter and Leon lit Riku's cigarette for him, Cloud briefly entertained the idea of snapping Leon's fingers off. Then there was the way Leon kept looking at Riku that gave Cloud the urge to plant his shovel in Leon's eyes.
"I'm going to bed," said Cloud.
"Goodnight," said Riku.
----------0----------
Vincent arrived in Hollow Bastion two weeks before Christmas with Marlene and Denzel in tow. Cloud introduced Riku to them right away, and they went to stay with Tifa, Yuffie, and Aerith. The kids focused a lot of energy on Cloud at first, but warmed up to Riku fast. Vincent spent the first few nights filling Cloud and Tifa in on everything that had been going on in Midgar since they were last there. It was a nice distraction as he listened to the activities of AVALANCHE, Shinra, and what his friends were up to, but he still found his eyes drifting to the kitchen. Cloud had to bite his lip as Riku said something and Leon laughed.
Eight days before Christmas Riku retired to the shower before bed. Leon walked into the living room and sat across Cloud.
"All done with your shopping?" said Leon.
"Shopping?" said Cloud.
"Yeah. Christmas present shopping?"
Cloud stared. Leon laughed. The urge to rip his throat out flitted through Cloud's mind.
"Don't tell me you forgot," said Leon.
"I guess I did in all the fuss. Been busy."
"Yeah, I know. So have I. Still found time."
Cloud grunted.
"Who did you shop for?"
"The usual. Cid, Aerith, Yuffie, Tifa, you, Vincent, the kids, Riku . . ."
"You got Riku something?"
Leon frowned.
"Well, yeah. He's your boyfriend, he's my friend, and I live with him. Be kind of rude if I didn't. What's wrong with you? You seem cranky."
"I'm tired. Not really up to banter. So what did you get him?"
"Who?"
"Riku."
Leon shrugged.
"Clothes. Not much. Some tops, some jeans. Don't worry. I didn't get him any leather pants."
"Well that's a relief. Kind of an uninventive gift."
"I don't buy creative gifts; I buy practical ones. The kid needs clothes."
"He has clothes."
"They don't fit him." Cloud stared. "If you don't know what to buy him, you should get him shoes or something. His feet will thank you."
"What are you talking about?"
"Have you not noticed all of Riku's stuff is too small for him? He's been swiping from you and me. Cid keeps ragging on him about a haircut, too, but Cid's been on me about that, too. I keep telling Riku if he sees Cid coming at him with a pair of scissors to run."
Cloud resisted the urge to grit his teeth.
"He hasn't grown that much since he's been here."
"Do you even look at your boyfriend?"
Cloud grumbled. When Riku emerged from the shower fifteen minutes later, Cloud stared. Riku had grown—grown more than he'd noticed, anyway. Perhaps he hadn't noticed because they spent so much time around each other, but now that he was really looking it seemed Riku was in the middle of a growth spurt. He was dressed in black sweatpants and one of Leon's white t-shirts, and as he stared, he was torn between wanting to rip the shirt off Riku's body and noticing the changes. The pants were more secure on his slim hips, and his feet no longer stepped on the hem as he walked. His shoulders had broadened, filling out a shirt that would have hung from his frame mere months ago. His silver bangs fell to his eyebrows, and the length of his hair was starting to move farther down his neck.
Leon turned toward Riku and smiled.
"Feel better?" said Leon.
"Yes," said Riku as he toweled his hair. "Long day."
"Tell me about it. Hungry?"
Leon moved to stand.
"Definitely."
Riku passed Leon to take a seat in the chair by Cloud as Leon went to work in the kitchen on snacks.
"Cloud?" said Leon.
Cloud grunted. He reached behind and scratched the back of his neck.
----------0----------
When Riku and Leon headed to Merlin's on Sunday to do some overtime work on the defense system, Cloud glared at the door as it shut behind them. He gathered his munny, pulled on his coat, and left the house. Two thoughts occupied his mind: a list of people he needed to buy for, and he was not buying Riku shoes.
Riku needed something special. Something that showed his affection because Cloud had been very bad about showing it lately. It seemed like every day was one tension after another. Cloud glared as Leon and Riku spent more time together. Riku kept his distance, and after their fight on the night of the first snowfall, Cloud couldn't tell him not to. Not after the scene he made about Riku encroaching on his space. The least he could do was show Riku he still cared, and shoes were not going to do that.
"Wait," said Riku. He raced out of Merlin's and across the cobbled road to Cloud. "Did you get Leon a present yet?"
Cloud forced himself not to spit out the words.
"Not yet. Why?"
"Well, I already did all my shopping, but I didn't get Leon anything yet because . . . well, you know how his jacket is falling apart, right?"
"Yeah . . ."
"Well when Leon and I were out looking for you, he showed me this leather jacket he really liked. Said he used to have one just like it, and I wanted to get it for him, but it's kind of pricey."
"And . . ."
"And I was wondering if I gave you my munny if we could split the cost."
"You want us to get Leon a pricey leather jacket."
"Well . . . yeah. I mean . . . he is our roommate. And we are a couple. And it must be a pain sometimes dealing with our relationship drama, especially when I was in the realm of darkness and Castle Oblivion, so . . . I don't know. I thought it could be a joint gift from us as kind of a thank you because he's been really great about it all."
Cloud smiled.
"What? Like a joint gift because we're a couple to a number one supporter or something?"
Riku laughed.
"Well you don't hear me asking Tifa or anything."
Cloud's grin widened.
"We are the couple, aren't we?"
Riku cocked his head and grinned.
"Yeah . . . why? You starting to forget who you're dating?"
"No. It's just . . . well . . . you've been spending a lot of time together."
"We're working together. And you've been really tired. I don't want to bother you. I know you like your alone time."
Riku smiled, but Cloud felt the sick feeling in his stomach grow. Leon had warned about pushing Riku away, and now that Cloud had the space he thought he desired, he kind of wished Riku was bothering him again. At least then that nasty feeling that crept along his skin didn't exist then. He shuffled his feet.
"Yeah, sure. Where am I supposed to go for this jacket?"
----------0----------
Cloud woke on Christmas morning to Marlene and Denzel bouncing on the bed. Their faces came into view, bright and smiling. The word 'presents' continuously escaped their mouths. Soft laughter sounded from the doorway, and then Tifa was standing there with her arms crossed over his chest.
"Why don't you give Cloud some space?" she said.
Giggles resounded. The weight shifted from the bed and the echo of pounding feet rang in his ears.
"Is Cloud opening presents with us?" said Marlene.
"Once the sleepy head wakes up," said Tifa. "Everyone is already out there waiting on you."
Cloud cracked open his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming."
When Tifa said everyone was already in the living room, she hadn't been kidding. Riku and Leon were in the kitchen as usual, making breakfast, and Cloud tried to send a glare in their direction, but his puffy eyes hardly moved. The muscles in his face refused to change expression. He resigned to pad across the living room and took a seat on the floor. Tifa, Vincent, Cid, Yuffie, Merlin, King Mickey, and Aerith occupied the sofas and chairs. Denzel and Marlene bounced on the floor by Tifa's feet, and when Cloud was seated, Marlene bounced in Cloud's lap.
"Can we open our presents now?" said Denzel.
"Why don't we all take turns," said Vincent.
"I get to go first!" said Yuffie.
"No, me!" said Denzel.
"Why don't we start with the youngest and work our way around," said Tifa.
"That would be Marlene, then," said Cloud. He patted her head. "Why don't you go find your pile?"
As Marlene ran to the tree Cloud caught Riku's eye from the kitchen. Riku smiled and mouthed an "I love you." His agitation faded.
With Marlene's presents opened, Denzel went next. As he approached the last of his gifts, Leon and Riku joined the party in the living room, passing around juice as they joined Cloud and Marlene on the floor.
"Mind if I share?" said Riku to Marlene. She shook her head and Riku rested his head against Cloud's shoulder. Cloud couldn't explain why he was overcome with the desire to blow a raspberry in Leon's direction.
"Don't get too comfortable," said Leon. "We're going youngest to oldest. That makes you next, kiddo."
Riku sat up. Cloud stared for a second.
"I keep forgetting how young you are," said Yuffie. "I was really excited. Thought I'd be next."
"I like that you forget," said Riku as he stood and crossed to the tree.
Leon hadn't been the only one who noticed. Most of the brightly wrapped boxes contained clothing. Cid had gotten Riku shoes and an I.O.U. for a haircut. When he reached for a small box, Cloud held his breath as he watched Riku untie the ribbon and pull the paper away. His chest felt tight and restricted as Riku removed the lid and took out a small, platinum ring. He smiled at Cloud.
"From you?"
"Look on the inside of the band," said Cloud.
"You bought him jewelry," said Tifa.
"With an inscription," said Yuffie.
"It's sweet," said Aerith.
"So what's the inscription?" said Leon.
"There is no me without you," said Cloud.
Aerith, Yuffie, and Tifa burst into a chorus of "Awe."
"You make me sick," said Leon.
The urge to punch Leon in the face didn't manifest as Riku leaned over to kiss Cloud on the cheek.
"I love you," said Riku.
"I love you, too. You still have presents to open, you know."
Riku nodded and turned back to the pile. There was one gift left—a long box wrapped in silvery paper and wrapped with a navy blue bow. He pulled at the bow and picked at the tape. As he opened the box, Cloud craned his head to get a better look. Riku's jaw dropped.
"That's from me," said Mickey.
Riku pushed the paper and box away. In his hands he held a long weapon—red and blue with a wing on the end. He turned it over and glanced up at the king.
"Is it . . ."
"A Keyblade," said Mickey.
"So I really am a Keyblade master?"
"You betcha."
"You can wield the Keyblade, can't you?" said Cloud. He smiled. "What did you expect?"
"Not this . . ."
"It's called 'The Way to the Dawn,'" said Mickey.
"One of the major Keyblades," said Leon. Mickey nodded.
"I heard about it before, of course, but when we journeyed through Castle Oblivion and I saw the way light and darkness work together in you . . ."
Cloud smiled and placed an arm around Riku's shoulder.
"The road to dawn," said Riku.
Mickey nodded.
"So after we got you back here to Hollow Bastion I went out to look for it. I've been waiting for the right time to give it to you."
"I didn't even know you left Hollow Bastion. This is . . . this is great . . ."
"Now you have a weapon to fight with when the time comes to go after that Organization XIII," said Cloud.
Riku nodded.
"Yeah. Once . . . someone . . . someone I'm going to help . . . wakes up . . ."
Riku frowned. Cloud stared.
"There's someone you're going to help?" said Cloud.
"Yeah. My friend . . . I think . . . the one I was fighting with."
"Yeah . . . I kind of remember," said Leon.
"Are you done?" said Yuffie. "My turn!"
Cloud continued to watch Riku stare at his Keyblade as Yuffie ripped her wrapping paper to shreds. Gentle touches brushed against the metal as his fingers curled around the hilt. Yuffie shrieked over Riku as he turned to Cloud.
"I don't feel like I deserve this," he said.
"Of course you do."
"Who's next?" said Yuffie.
Cloud looked up and grinned.
"Leon," said Tifa. "Then me."
"Leon?" said Riku. He tore his eyes from the Keyblade. "I thought you were younger, Tifa."
"Nah," said Yuffie. "Before you, me and Leon were the babies."
"Shut up," said Leon as he moved to retrieve his gifts.
Riku turned to Cloud.
"I thought you and Leon were the same age."
Cloud shook his head.
"Nope. I'm three years older than Leon."
Riku looked to Leon.
"You're only twenty?"
"Don't point it out," said Leon.
"A fairly fresh twenty, too," said Yuffie.
"Yeah, well, you're a fresher nineteen."
"Riku's an even fresher sixteen."
"Don't point that out, either," said Cloud.
"I can't believe you're only twenty," said Riku. He turned to Tifa. "How old are you, then?"
"Twenty-two," said Tifa.
Leon went through his presents quickly, grumbling under his breath. When he came to the leather jacket, he picked it from the box and ran his palm over the fur collar. He looked to Riku and smiled.
"From you?" said Leon.
Riku grinned.
"Yeah. Well . . . me and Cloud."
"My turn," said Tifa. She dashed to her gifts.
Leon continued to smile at them.
"You remembered?" said Leon.
"Well, sure," said Riku.
Cloud's stomach sank. He wanted to take the bow from the box and wrap it around Leon's neck. Leon went to finish breakfast as Tifa finished unwrapping her presents. Cloud's turn came next. He received a lot of clothing between Aerith, Tifa, Yuffie, Vincent, and Leon. Cid gave him a kit for tuning up his Gummi ship. When he got to Riku's present, his stomach tied in knots. His heart sank at the sleeveless navy turtleneck inside. Riku saw his face and laughed.
"That's not it," said Riku. "I just thought you'd look great in it. You have amazing arms, you know."
Cloud grinned. The pressure in his heart eased.
"You could tell?"
"Well . . . yeah. I spend enough time with you, too."
"Watch out for that," said Yuffie. "Cloud hates it when you can read his emotions. He's a very private, pissy person."
Riku laughed. Cloud tried to glare but the warm sound of Riku's laughter stilled the expression. He, too, laughed. Riku reached across him to grab a smaller box toward the back.
"This is the rest of it."
Cloud took the box, undid the wrapping, and removed a silver chain. Hanging from the metal was an ornate cross.
"Leon said you don't wear a lot of jewelry, but that you'd probably like this."
"I thought it might be manly enough for your tastes," said Leon with a smirk. Cloud had never noticed how obnoxious Leon's smirk was, but he turned back to Riku.
"And you can wear it under the turtleneck so you can keep him close to your heart at all times, but no one will ever be able to tell you really care," said Tifa.
"Pretty," said Marlene.
Cloud smirked at Tifa and patted Marlene on the head. He leaned across to peck Riku on the cheek.
"I do like it. Thank you."
"I'm relieved. I know you're the kind of guy who only likes stuff you can use so picking a present for you is kind of difficult."
"Or easy," said Tifa. "Clothes."
Riku laughed.
"Hey, I did that, too. But as a boyfriend I am supposed to give him something special."
"Tell me about it," said Cloud. "Leon told me to buy you shoes."
"I actually did need shoes. It's a good thing Cid got them for me. But the ring is . . ."
"Special?"
"Yeah."
"All right, break it up," said Leon as Aerith moved to her gifts. "Breakfast."
----------0----------
Cloud was irked. He had to control the urge more than one time during the day not to smack Leon across the face for every time he made a joke about Cloud and Riku being too close. He wanted to beat him over the head with something heavy for comments about them being sickening. That chair would look great slammed into Leon's stomach when he teased Cloud for every sweet comment.
Leon and Riku worked on dinner in the kitchen as Tifa, Yuffie, and Aerith led Marlene and Denzel in Christmas carols. Cid and Vincent sat on the other end of the sofa drinking whiskey. Mickey and Merlin sat across from them speaking in hushed tones. Cloud sat by Vincent as his eyes remained on Riku and Leon in the kitchen.
"Hit me," said Cloud.
Cloud listened to Vincent tell Cid about life back on Midgar as he nursed his drink. Over an hour later, Leon and Riku started to set dishes out on the table. The kids ran to fill their plates with the girls close behind. Riku washed his hands at the sink, made up two plates, and walked over to Cloud.
"Must be nice getting personally served," said Vincent.
"Kid takes good care of Cloud," said Cid.
"That's good."
"Yeah. He needs it."
"Cloud's had enough of you picking on him," said Cloud. "Yuffie is still here, you know."
"Hey!" said Yuffie.
"There he goes speaking in third-person again," said Leon. "Cloud has issues."
Riku smiled and placed a kiss to Cloud's cheek.
"I kind of like the helpless thing," said Riku.
"I'm not helpless. I'm a protector. I take care of you; you nurture. We discussed this before."
"I'm not complaining. I love you."
Cloud smiled. He cupped Riku's cheek and pressed their foreheads together.
"And there they go again," said Leon.
Cloud flicked his eyes to glare at Leon and returned his gaze to Riku.
"I love you, too. Sorry for being so moody lately."
"It's okay."
"Moody?" said Cid. "You ain't moody. I've seen you worse than this."
"I agree," said Vincent. "I thought I'd come here to find Cloud in a horrible mood. I haven't seen you this happy in ages. Not since Zack, anyway."
Riku's smile faded a little.
"Who's Zack?"
Leon gagged on his food. A silence spread across the room. Cloud cleared his throat.
"You didn't tell him?" said Leon.
"I didn't think it was important," said Cloud.
"You didn't think . . ."
"It usually isn't important."
"But we all knew Zack. His name was bound to come up eventually."
"It wasn't a big deal. I don't understand why I should have mentioned him."
"Because he kind of was a big deal?"
"I'm starting to get the feeling Zack is an ex-boyfriend no one wants to tell me about," said Riku.
Cloud shook his head.
"No. I mean, yeah, Zack was my boyfriend once, but I didn't not tell you about him on purpose. I just didn't think it was an important thing to mention my ex-boyfriend to my new boyfriend."
"So he was your boyfriend?"
"Yeah. He was a friend, too. First. He lived at the orphanage with us, and then when the Turks came, he went with to Midgar."
"The Turks?"
"Dear God, do you tell him anything?" said Leon.
"Shut up. He knows a bit about Soldier and Midgar, just not all of it," said Cloud. He turned to Riku. "It's a long story. I promise to tell you sometime when we're alone."
Riku stared and then nodded.
"So . . . what happened to him?"
"Zack?" said Cloud. Riku nodded.
"Yeah. Like . . . I mean . . ."
"Why isn't he here?"
"Yeah. I mean . . . I guess cause if he isn't a big deal, and you were all friends first . . ."
No one answered. Riku searched the room. Tifa averted her eyes. Aerith bit her lip and lowered her head. Cid and Yuffie looked away. Even Marlene dropped her head. Leon cleared his throat.
"Zack died," said Leon. "When he was on Midgar."
Riku stared.
"Oh. Heartless?"
"No."
"Oh . . ." Riku peered at Cloud. He hesitated. Cloud met his eyes. "Sephiroth?"
"Not exactly," said Cloud. "Like I said . . . it's a long story."
"Oh . . . okay."
"I'll tell you later."
Riku nodded.
"I can't believe you didn't tell him about Zack," said Leon.
Cloud whipped his head from Riku.
"Why don't you just stay out of my relationship for a change? I told him about Soldier, and Sephiroth, and the Heartless, and Midgar. I just didn't get through the entire story, and it's kind of an involved one so that shouldn't be a big surprise. I didn't keep anything from him on purpose."
Leon held up his hands.
"All right. Sorry. Didn't mean to get into your relationship."
Riku frowned.
"You okay, Cloud?" said Riku.
"Yeah. I'm just . . . I've been really tired lately. I'm just not in the mood for jokes, I guess."
"Maybe you're coming down with something."
Riku pressed the back of his hand to Cloud's forehead. Leon snorted.
"Something you want to say?" said Cloud.
"No," said Leon. "Wouldn't want to stick my nose in your relationship again."
"So, Cloud, did you have any plans for New Year's?" said Riku.
"Are you trying to distract me?" said Cloud.
"Yes and no. I am, but I really want to know."
"I hadn't really thought about it, so no. Why?"
"Well . . . when Leon and I went shopping for Christmas presents, I heard about this new club behind the market. It's sixteen and over so I can go—I just can't drink. And I heard there's a lot of straight and gay couples that go, so I thought . . . I don't know."
"You want to go?"
"Yeah. I mean . . . I asked Leon if he thought you'd want to go, and he told me not to get my hopes up . . ."
"I don't dance."
"But I really want to go, so I thought I'd ask you, anyway, but if you don't want to go . . ."
"I don't dance."
"You don't have to dance. They're having a drink special for New Year's. You could just drink and watch me dance."
"And why would I do that?"
"Cause I'd look really sexy dancing in that hot new top Leon got me."
"Which one?"
"The zip one."
"Yellow zip one?"
"Yep."
Cloud considered this.
"I mean it's totally okay if you don't want to go. I already asked Leon if he would go with me some other time so I don't have to go by myself if you don't want to."
Cloud looked to Leon.
"You're going?"
Leon shrugged.
"I like clubs. I don't mind dancing. I like discounted alcohol. And someone has to keep an eye on the kid."
"I take care of Riku."
"I know, but if you don't want to go . . . you know, unless that's me getting into you relationship again."
"Would you shut up about that?" Cloud turned to Riku. "Count me in."
"We're going to have to take you shopping," said Leon.
"Why?" said Cloud.
"Cause you can't go dressed the way you dress."
"Why not? Is there something wrong with the way I dress?"
"It's a dance club," said Leon. "I have leather. Riku has party clothes. You dress like a mercenary."
Cloud stared.
"I was a mercenary."
Riku perked up.
"When were you a mercenary?"
Leon stared.
"You tell him absolutely nothing."
"It's part of the long story," said Cloud. He glared at Leon.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Was I intruding again?"
"Forget I said anything," said Riku.
----------0----------
The music thumped in Cloud's eardrums as he, Riku, and Leon entered the smoky room. The dance floor was already packed with people moving in rhythm to the bass. The seats at the bar were filled as were many of the booths and tables. Lights danced across the shadowed walls. Cloud glanced over a rail and down the stairs to the people below. He watched as bodies melted together, and then Leon tugged his sleeve and mouthed something.
"What?" said Cloud. "I can't hear you."
Leon moved closer.
"I said that there's a table over there."
He made an exaggerated gesture in the direction Riku was already walking with a short, thin girl with her messy hair pulled into a ponytail. Cloud nodded. He followed Leon's lead and grabbed a chair. Riku didn't stick around long. Leon and Cloud ordered drinks while Riku settled for a soda, and then he leaned close to Cloud's ear.
"I'm going to dance. You want to come?"
Cloud shook his head.
"Do you mind if I dance?"
Cloud shook his head again. Riku nodded, placed a kiss to Cloud's cheek, and then leaned in close to Leon. Cloud wished the waitress would hurry up with that drink. He wanted to be drunk as the rage flowed through him again watching Riku's lips come close to Leon's ear. Leon laughed, waved a hand, and turned his head close to Riku's in response. Riku smiled, mouthed something, and headed toward the stairs.
"What was that about?" said Cloud.
Leon shrugged.
"He asked me if I wanted to dance with him."
"You're straight."
"What's your point? It's just dancing."
"Are you going to?"
"I told him maybe later. Why? Is that a problem?"
Cloud huffed.
"No."
"Good. Because it's just dancing. You don't dance and he doesn't want to spend the entire night pressed up against sweaty strangers."
Cloud's eyes widened. Sweaty strangers. He whipped his head to the stairs to find Riku and after scanning the area his eyes caught sight of the silver hair. Riku slipped through couples, and Cloud struggled to keep his eyes on the slim figure. The waitress set his drink on the table and Cloud took a large swig. The panic slipped away a little as Riku paired off with a girl. Cloud turned toward Leon.
"Can I get a cigarette?"
"What? Having a hard time watching your boy with other people?"
"Cigarette."
Leon shrugged and passed Cloud a cigarette before lighting one for himself.
As the night dragged on, Cloud smoked cigarette after cigarette. He switched from mixed drinks to shots, but it was like the alcohol wasn't even working. He was still aware, still acute. Riku darted to and from the table, sipping on his soda and dropping numbers in the trashcan. Cloud ignored attempts from other patrons to get him on the dance floor as he watch stranger after stranger pressed against Riku.
"Looks like Riku made a friend," said Leon after the sixth song Riku spent dancing with the same guy. If Cloud had his Buster sword, he'd take it to the guy's dick.
"He just better watch his hands," said Cloud.
He couldn't blame them entirely. Riku was a vision, lost in his own world as he swayed to the beat. His growth spurt was even more apparent, looking so much older than he had when they first met, and Cloud could swear he could see the sliver of Riku's flat, tanned stomach showing from where he sat on the second level. He kept his head thrown back, silver bangs fanning over his forehead, silver tresses swaying. His hips moved with a fluidity that didn't even come with sex, and he shifted in his seat as the man's hands pulled those hips closer.
"Someone's jealous," said Leon.
"Shut up."
"Why don't you go dance with him instead?"
"I don't dance like that."
"I don't think anyone is going to be looking at you."
Cloud glared.
"Fine. Will you feel better if I dance with him instead?"
"Anything to get that guy off him."
He had meant it at the time. He was relieved as Leon slipped off his jacket and moved from the table. Cloud trailed Leon with his eyes as he moved down the stairs and across the dance floor, but when Leon found Riku, came up behind him, and placed his hands on Riku's hips instead, the rage seared through his blood. It was as if he wore blinders; nothing existed but the slow turn of Riku's body and the smile on his face as he discovered who it was that pulled him away from his dance partner. If Cloud thought the nameless guy and his boyfriend had been too close it was nothing compared to the way Leon yanked Riku to him.
The sensible part of Cloud's brain that remained was aware that he'd seen Leon dance before. He'd seen Leon with men and women doing nothing but dancing and receiving phone numbers that he couldn't remember who they belonged to nor caring. Sometimes Leon just liked to dance, and when he did it was close and even Tifa once called it vulgar. The sensible part of Cloud's mind knew that the way Leon pressed against Riku meant nothing—that it was just dancing. He knew Leon's hands placed so very, very low on Riku's back was nothing but where Leon placed his hands. He knew the way Leon moved his hips against Riku's was nothing more than what Leon did when he danced with people—people who were often inconsequential and meant nothing.
The rest of Cloud's brain wanted to chop Leon into tiny little pieces and feed him to Sephiroth.
"Hey," said a voice. "You look kind of lonely."
Cloud pulled his eyes away to find the nameless guy Riku previously entertained face to face with him.
"I'm not lonely," said Cloud.
"Sorry. Didn't mean anything by it. Mind if I sit here?"
He motioned to the seat. Cloud frowned and shrugged.
"I'm Evan."
"Cloud."
"You here by yourself?"
"No. I got dragged here."
"You don't look like you're having a good time."
"What's your preoccupation with how good of a time I'm having?"
"I'm just confused. Here you are, a great-looking guy, and yet you're sitting here by yourself."
Cloud stared.
"Can I buy you a drink?" said Evan.
Cloud continued to stare.
"What makes you think I'm into guys?"
"I saw you watching that guy in the leather pants."
"That guy in the leather pants is my best friend."
"That supports my theory even more."
"He's straight."
"Sure he is. That's why he's dancing the way he is with a guy."
Cloud glanced back to the dance floor. He found Riku fast, his back against Leon's chest, hand wrapped around the back of Leon's neck, and his ass . . .
Oh, hell no.
"Can I get that drink?" said Cloud.
"Don't you think you've had enough?" said the waitress when Evan signaled her over.
"I don't think he's even close to enough," said Evan.
Cloud downed his drink as he watched Leon's hands run over Riku's chest and press his hips against . . .
God, he couldn't even think it.
Evan watched Cloud watch the dance floor.
"Would you like to dance?" said Evan.
Cloud glared.
"Yeah. Sure."
Cloud finished the drink and followed Evan to the lower level. He marched past him and over to where he'd seen Riku and Leon. The sensible part of Cloud's brain told him this was a bad idea. It whispered that he really shouldn't do what he was about to do because Riku loved him and he was acting ridiculous. The music, however, really was deafening, and the rest of Cloud's brain was louder as he walked right past Riku and Leon to take a spot within view and jerked Evan to him.
"I didn't know you were so forceful," said Evan.
Cloud's eyes were on Riku and Leon as he swayed to the beat against this man he didn't know, anticipating. He felt the anger build in him the longer Riku's eyes stayed closed, the longer he stayed pressed against Leon. It felt like an eternity as he grew closer and closer to this stranger, and then Riku's eyes met his. Even in the low lighting, Cloud swore he saw them darken. Riku stopped moving, and Leon followed Riku's gaze. His eyes widened, and he patted Riku on the shoulder before slipping away, moving fast toward the upper level. Riku stayed rooted for a few moments and Cloud stopped dancing.
"Something wrong?" said Evan.
Riku's face darkened farther, looking more livid by the second before it seemed that sensibility failed to get the better of him, too. He stalked across people, shoving them out of his way. The grip on Cloud's wrist was harsher than he expected as Riku leaned close and hissed.
"I thought you don't dance."
"I changed my mind."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah."
Evan's eyes darted between them.
"Did I miss something?"
"Shut up," Riku and Cloud chorused.
"What are you doing with him?" said Riku.
"Same thing you were."
"So you can dance with him but not with me?"
"Are you two dating or something?" said Evan.
Cloud didn't get a chance to answer. Riku turned, yanking Cloud away from Evan. Pain shot through his wrist as Riku stomped up the stairs to the upper level. His shoulder felt strained as Riku pulled. Leon shot them a sympathetic look as they passed the table and through the door outside.
The music dulled once outside and the side door slammed shut behind them. Cloud felt the cool, winter air hit his face, chilling his skin after being in the hot, sweaty club for so long. The sensation was soon forgotten as Riku dropped his wrist and turned.
"What the hell, Cloud?"
"What?"
"I thought you don't dance."
"I don't."
"So why were you dancing with that guy?"
"I wanted to."
"So what? You didn't want to with me? Because the last time I checked, I was your boyfriend, not him."
"He asked."
"I asked, too. What's your deal? You've been a total asshole lately. You didn't even want to come here."
"Yeah, I didn't want to come."
"Then why did you?"
"Because if I didn't, you were going to come with Leon."
"So what? He's my friend."
"He's my friend, too."
"Yeah, and you're my boyfriend."
"No shit. I don't get what you're going on about. I thought you were glad Leon and I get along. You were so convinced we'd like each other, and now that we do you're pissed off?"
"I don't like the way he looks at you."
Riku stared. The anger ebbed from his face.
"You're jealous."
"No, I'm not. I'm pissed off. He's been all over you for weeks now. He didn't talk to me after we had that fight; he took you for a fucking walk. He's been cracking jokes all over the place about how we're disgusting. I mean, yeah, he's right. Maybe we don't know each other as well as I thought we did, but that's just back story, and it pisses me off because he makes it sound like we mean less or something. You've been spending all this time together—you went shopping together."
"We're working together, and we went shopping together because I wanted his advice on what to buy you."
"Yeah, well . . ."
"You're jealous. You feel left out because you aren't working on the defense mechanism with us."
"I'm not jealous. I'm pissed off. You spend more time with him than you do with me. You have all these little jokes that I don't get because I'm not there. He makes you snacks and you wear his clothes. You've been so distant."
"I was giving you your alone time. I don't get it. What do you want from me? First you say that I'm suffocating you, and now I'm too distant?"
"I know, okay? I know I'm contracting myself, but I fucking miss you, okay?"
"Then why didn't you dance with me? Why didn't you just tell me you didn't want to come here tonight?"
"Because if I didn't come tonight you were going to come some other night with Leon! And I didn't want you spending a night with him without me."
Riku howled with laughter.
"You are so jealous."
"I'm not jealous. He's shit."
"Leon?"
"Yes, Leon. He's a shitty friend. You're my boyfriend, and he knows that. I hate this . . . this . . . this thing you have going on."
"What? Friendship? You want us to hate each other?"
"No, but I don't like it, okay? I don't like the way he looks at you. I don't like the way he keeps touching you. You wear his clothes for crissakes!"
"That's because mine didn't fit and I feel bad always stealing from you! You're my boyfriend, not Leon."
"I know that, damnit, so act like it."
"I do act like it. I was giving you space. Leon is my friend. There's nothing more to it."
"I don't want the space; I want you back."
"What? In your face and bothering you?"
"Yes. It's better than this . . . this distance. I can't stand it. I hate this. I hate that Leon noticed your clothes didn't fit you when I didn't. I hate that he noticed how much longer your hair has gotten. I hate that you told him when it was your birthday instead of me. I hate that he was going to bring you here, and comforts you, and buys you things you need. I hate that he makes you food. He shouldn't be taking care of you; I take care of you."
"You've been tired, and you can't cook."
"That's not the point."
"If you want me to spend more time with you, why didn't you say so? Why didn't you dance with me? Why did you dance with that guy instead of me?"
"I . . . I don't know. I saw you dancing with that guy, and Leon offered to take you away from him, and then I saw you two together and his hands on you . . . and your hands on him . . . and him pressed against you, and I wanted to make you feel as jealous as I did."
Riku stared. Cloud blinked.
"I told you that you were jealous."
Cloud heaved a breath.
"Is that what this feeling is?"
Riku nodded.
"Yeah. Think so."
"Is that why I keep thinking murderous thoughts about Leon?"
"You keep thinking murderous thoughts about Leon?"
". . . Yes?"
Riku sighed. He walked forward, snaked his arms around Cloud's waist, and pressed his face into Cloud's chest.
"You're a moron," said Riku. "Leon doesn't want me the way you think he does, and I don't like him that way. He calls me 'kid' for fuck's sake. I love you. I'm with you. I wanted to dance with you, but if you didn't want to, I didn't want to force you. Leon planned on dancing so I asked him to dance with me so I didn't have to be with strangers all night. I just wish you wouldn't have . . . you know, with that guy . . ."
"I'm sorry. I was just . . ."
"Blinded by a jealous rage?"
"Yeah. I guess. I would have danced with you, it's just . . ."
"You don't dance."
"I'm bad at it."
Riku smirked. He pulled back and pressed a kiss to Cloud's lips.
"Not from where I was standing. You would have looked gorgeous if I wasn't so angry at you."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Then maybe we should go back in and I should dance with you."
"I'd like that." Riku hesitated, and then grinned again. "You really miss me bugging you all the time?"
"Maybe not all the time, but . . . yeah. I miss you."
"Good, cause I miss you, too."
The door to the club opened and Leon poked his head out. He took in Cloud with his arms wrapped around Riku and smiled.
"Worked out your differences?" said Leon.
"He was just jealous," said Riku.
Leon nodded.
"No shit. Just thought I'd let you know it's about to hit midnight."
"Guess we should head back in then," said Riku.
Cloud frowned as Riku pulled away and walked toward the door.
"What do you mean 'no shit'?" said Cloud.
Leon laughed.
"You've been glaring and grunting at me for weeks now. I figured it was only a matter of time before everything blew up."
Cloud grunted. Leon slung an arm around Cloud.
"I'm not trying to steal your boyfriend." Cloud looked away. "Oh, come on. I like you two together. Riku's great, you're great, and you're great together."
"I know. I'm . . ."
"Cloud, even if I was trying to steal your boyfriend, do you really think Riku is going anywhere?"
". . ."
"Then there you go. You know Riku is in love with you, and he isn't going anywhere. As long as you know that, it should be all you need. So the next time you think someone's making moves on your boyfriend, just enjoy the satisfaction of knowing he's going to throw all those numbers away and go home with you."
Cloud stared at the ground for a few seconds. He scratched at his elbow.
"Yeah, I guess . . ."
"He's going home with you."
"Yeah, but he's kind of going home with you, too."
"Yes, but he's going home with you. He won't be slipping into my bed."
Cloud smiled.
"Yeah, I guess . . ."
"You've got two minutes before midnight, Cloud. Be comfortable that your boyfriend only has eyes for you and get your ass inside."
Cloud fought the smile as he returned to the interior of the club. Riku sat in his lap as the club counted down to midnight. Their lips connected at the start of the new year, and Cloud spent the following two hours lost in the rhythm of the music, his hips pressed to Riku's, his hands roving across Riku's body before they returned home. An exhausted Riku collapsed on the bed in one of Cloud's t-shirts, his back against Cloud's chest, and he draped an arm around Riku's waist, pulling him tight as they drifted to sleep.
Yes, I know it's been awhile. I've been running to Hershey a lot to do paperwork and orientations so I can start work this Sunday after my sister's wedding. I've been prepping for my sister's wedding on Saturday. My roommate doesn't like it when I ignore her.
Oh, yeah, and I've been playing FFVII. Still not finished yet, but I've been advertising since this story started that I haven't played any FF games before, so I'm super psyched.
Cloud in drag. Oh, yes.
Anyway, responses:
Beatrisu: Ah, the site is always kind of fucked up. CloudReno is the shit. I really like them, too. You should expect to see references to CloudReno in upcoming chapters of this fic, because yes, I have loved Reno since I saw Advent Children about a year ago, and I plan on making him a Cloud ex, and he will make an appearance here eventually, but that's all I can say on that.
FrEaKyAoIFaN: Nah. They can't break up yet. There's still 60 chapters left! Sora will wake up from the pod thing--er--in about fifteen to twenty chapters. Eep! Heh.
Endoresu: Thank you for saying it's awesome. I LOVE Cloud/Riku, too. Yes, he's growing up and getting sexiful, but since his voice was already changed by KH1, I don't foresee his voice changing again. We'll assume his voice lowered before he left Destiny Islands.
Chibi Fruba Girl: I don't know if this part was twisted, but hey. I liked it anyway. So now they've fought again. I enjoyed it as well. Bows to the goddess of Demiku. Sorry I didn't update soon. Been busy. Updates should be coming faster.
Soul Writer of Dark Truth: I like crazy off-pairings. I will check out your story should I find the time to do it (because all my free time right now goes to this story and playing FFVII).
Mangled Euphoria: Yeah, I caught that apostraphe s after I posted, but it's so much work posting on here to fix one little thing that I just said "screw it."
The Glass Slipper: I know there wasn't much mention of party boy outfit in this chapter, but there will be club aftermath in the next chapter for poor, exhausted Riku (spent too much time dancing, ya know?), and I imagine there will be mucho talk about it there. But it WAS mentioned. I feel kind of weird writing Riku getting taller, and I was worried about writing this transition because it showcases just how much younger he is than Cloud. I really don't want Cloud to come off as a creepy pedophile or anything because I think the two are so sweet together. I shouldn't have to say it, and I shouldn't say it anyway because I've said it so many times before, but I really do adore Riku's storyline. Which is obvious seeing as how I'm writing this story.
koyuki-san: Yeah, I do it with people all the time. I know I shouldn't say something, and I say it anyway because I know I shouldn't say it. And as I'm saying it I know I should stop, or switch to something else, but I don't because I'm angry. I'm often laughed at when I'm in a fight with someone, too, because apparently "the most ridiculous things come out of" my mouth. Yeah, Cloud is very emo, and I guess I did make Leon an older brother figure because Riku was so close to his older sister that Leon's kind of taken her place in guiding Riku through milestones in his life.
Koji Inari: I know I have not updated in so long. Am sorry. Really. I am. Snapped at two of my friends today for interrupting me while editting because I had not posted in so long. Update Dirge. I will give you more of this story tomorrow. Yes, I promised it. Tomorrow.
MordeMe: Thank you so much for your reviews. More emotional depth than a teaspoon? That sounds a little Hermione Granger to me. But thanks. I appreciate it. And Cloud can say "fuck that shit" anytime he likes for you.
darktenshi17: Yes, once I got into the fight, the boys were out for blood so there was a lot of reading. Didn't realize it until they dragged it out forever while I was editting. Went so much faster while I was writing it.
Mizuki hikari: Thank you. I shall.
Alcorion: I actually really love Leon/Sora, but I actually . . . hm . . . I wasn't going to put him with Sora. I'm currently entertaining two ideas, and it depends on which direction I actually take Cloud's upcoming trip to Midgar, so . . . yeah. Oh . . . did I just leak that Cloud was going to Midgar soon? My bad.
prettykitty3000: You may be slow, but I'm slower. I haven't finished FFVII yet, but it was sweet of you to leave me that Myspace comment. Leon appreciates being best supporting character considering all the bullshit Cloud and Riku put him through. He did get the KH2 leather jacket for his efforts, though.
Twilight Angel 1013: I've brought you to the dark (yaoi) side. Mwa ha ha ha ha. No, really, comments like that make me wonder what is so special about my story, but I really kind of like it in a way. Maybe that's the sadistic side of me that tends to come out in Leon when I write. Hm.
krazy-wit-a-k: Oh, you're sweet. Yes, I like to read a story, too (at least up to the point of where the author left off), before I review. I even occasionally will wait for a story to finish before I review. Then there are the people I consistently bug to update because I feel like I'm on crack when I read their stories (not that I would know what crack feels like, but I've heard stories). Yes, it's a bit (ha!) of a rare pairing, but I intend to fix that little problem of mine.
Sakura-Angel2: You're very sweet. I suppose you might not have caught up yet, but when you do, I look forward to hearing from you again.
from yesterday: Can I assume you are a 30 Seconds to Mars fan? I am a 30 Seconds to Mars fan. Saw them twice live, and quite by accident both times. Am huge Shannon Leto fan. Man is incredibly sexy. Ah, anyway, story. Focus. Shannon. Focus. Ah, yes. Grinning like a moron is great. I'm glad you found this story, though, before it got halfway because I kind of pity any readers who may start when I get around chapter 70. Grinning like a moron is always good, though. Make up sex, huh? I guess that will have to come next for their after-club fight sex. Was planning on it, anyway, but hey . . . Yes, I am going to bring Sephiroth back, but not until much, much later in the story. Yeah, Roxas, Sora, and Kairi are all coming up, and it's going to be great fun, I think. Roxas sooner than the rest, and let's not forget dear Namine. I look forward to it.
Yes, I promised. I'll update tomorrow.
Til then.
Love.