YOH'S POV
.
Chapter 4 - Mist
.
My eyes fluttered open as my consciousness slowly flooded back. I was sprawled across the hard ground, my arm twisted in an uncomfortable way. I watched my hand for a while, trying to stretch my fingers and flex my wrist. Didn't I have a scar on this hand? Maybe it was the other… Other than a lingering pain in my chest, I felt fine…
My immediate thought was that the blow hadn't managed to kill me. Maybe the car hadn't hit me at all, maybe it had decided to switch routes and I had simply fainted… I distinctly remembered those two hovering balls of light speeding towards me.
I had been afraid. I had been afraid of dying.
A strange feeling for one who came so close to death so many times, and perhaps defied it even more often.
At the same time, I had been relieved to find my ticket back to Anna so easily. Maybe it was my welcoming of death that frightened me…
That sudden thought brought back the bitter memories I had sought to repress. I had intended to die. I knew what I was doing. She had not been granted that choice.
She had simply fallen.
I felt the sting of tears in my eyes; not from the pain of the blow, but from the pain of the loss.
If I really was still alive, then Anna was even farther away by now. It was starting to border on impossible to find her again. I wouldn't give up. She was dead because I had been too lazy to pick my ass of my bed and make her breakfast.
My fault.
It was my indolence that had made me lose her once.
I wasn't planning on losing her again. If I had to attempt suicide hundreds of times, I would.
I remembered my heart beat accelerating, then gradually slowing as the car sped towards me. I remembered the rain blurring my vision. I remembered the reason as to why I was standing in the middle of the highway. Crack! I remembered the distant sound echoing in my head, mocking me; taunting me.
And now, it looked like I had escaped it. I didn't know whether to be happy to be alive, or to slap myself. Anna would have liked the second option better…
Finally realizing that lying in the middle of a road wouldn't do my any good, I stood up, and almost fell down again. I had been wrong. I wasn't alive.
The old ratty building littered both sides of the wide dirt road; their windows shut tight, some cracked and broken. The paint on the walls had peeled off, and the grass around the buildings was all dried up. A heavy mist clung to the air, making it hard to see what was ahead. The village seemed pretty much deserted, as far as I could see. Other than a couple of birds that were stationed on roofs and dead trees, nothing was alive; though considering he was dead too, it wasn't much of a surprise.
I watched as one of the birds took fight, flapping its wings fervently before disappearing into the clouds with a slight shimmer of light. At least it knew where it was going…
Wasn't the afterlife supposed to be all bright and shimmering? I had never imagined it to be so cold and disturbing. Or deserted. I was the only one here, and I was sure it would drive me insane sure enough.
I assumed insanity wasn't much of a problem when you were already dead…
I walked along the disheveled streets, looking over my shoulder frequently just in case something had changed, or someone had appeared.
Annoyed by the sound of silence, I started to hum to myself. Hand planted in pockets, I made my way through the winding paths.
The scenery didn't change much. The buildings all looked pretty much the same, so were the plants and rocks; all faded to a dull brownish gray. Maybe it was the mist that made everything to gloomy… I wondered how Anna had felt passing through this place, if she ever had… She probably wouldn't mind the silence much, she wasn't exactly the talkative kind. She preferred silence and solitude. Bu I couldn't help but be disturbed at the thought of my incredibly strong, yet incredibly fragile fiancée walking these paths alone…
Kicking a pebble laying on the ground, I continued my meandering around the deserted village. I felt like I was drawing circles around it, there were no land marks or distinctive houses that could tell me I was actually moving forward. I wondered if that was what I was meant to do here… Walk round in circles until I couldn't move anymore. Did you still get tired when you were dead?
I reflexively looked down at my feet. I had been walking for some time now and I really didn't feel tired at all. Guess not then…
A slight breeze picked up gradually as time passed, making the dead leaves on the ground swirl in the air.
I watched idly as thin brown leaves shot into the sly, then fell down slowly like feathers… The scene put a lump in my throat.
It looked like everything falling would have that effect on me after this…
Then, out of nowhere, a single sound managed to bring be back from my dazed state…
My eyes shot open as the familiar voice reached my ears
"Interesting seeing you here, otouto…"
.
.
.
/a.n./ And yet another chapter has been published! Sorry for the long break, but I was at the ISTA festival in Zurich and I really didn't have any time to write… I promise I'll post the next chapter faster! xoxo