Perry the Platypus, lonely and wishing he could bond with the Flynn-Fletcher children on a more meaningful level, has agreed to help his nemesis be a responsible "school night" father. How hard can it be?

…..

"Oh, goody! I am so excited!" Heinz bounced on the balls of his feet, causing his hips to sway back and forth. Perry rolled his eyes, though secretly he was a bit excited too. Perry had spent five years watching Linda and Lawrence be (somewhat) responsible parents and smother his children with love while he was forced to sit on the sideline, a pet and secret guardian always watching over the house. Yes, he had interacted with them that one day in an Alternate Dimension, but that had been dangerous and terrifying and… forgotten. It didn't really count.

Vanessa may not be his child in the manner of the Flynn-Fletcher siblings, but she was Heinz's child. That made her special, too. Perry had done a lot to help the remarkable young lady in recent months, so he didn't mind staying around to help Heinz at all. Even if the night turned into a disaster it was better than a cold, empty house.

"Well, are you coming?" Perry was startled to see that the scientist had crossed the room and was standing by the kitchen door. Perry chattered in response and followed the man inside.

Vanessa was sitting at the table in the corner, rapidly typing on her laptop. She didn't acknowledge their entrance. "What would you like for dinner, honey?" Heinz asked. When there was no response he asked again, this time more loudly.

The teen pulled her ear buds away from her face and asked, "Did you say something, Dad?"

"I just wanted to know what you wanted for dinner."

"Oh, I don't care. Anything. Whatever." Vanessa replaced the ear buds.

Heinz looked like he was at a loss. Clearly he had been hoping for some direction. He began rummaging through a cabinet filled with pots and pans. Perry knew Heinz was a superb cook, so he wondered what was irritating the scientist. He wandered over to Heinz and chattered to get the man's attention.

"What should I make, Perry the Platypus? I want dinner to be memorable. One day Vanessa is going to look back on this as the one school night she spent with her father, and I don't want anything to be less than perfect. This is so tricky; different foods have different symbolic meanings, you know!"

No, Perry hadn't known that. He wondered if it was true, or if this was another of Heinz's peculiar notions. For a man of science, Heinz could be extremely superstitious.

"I thought about making meatloaf, but that recipe requires so much hate and loathing and I'm just… I'm just not sure I could get that worked up at the moment." Perry nodded. They didn't need that tonight. "Perhaps I should make a traditional winter dish. It is a cold day. Everyone could use a hot, hearty meal. What do you think, Perry the Platypus?"

Perry nodded again. He was no foodie; he really only ever ate people food when he was with Heinz. Those were memorable occasions- the times when his nemesis would have food already prepared for other events and willingly share, or when they would indulge in a break for tea and pastries, or when Heinz would invite him to a restaurant- and while Perry cherished those memories, they didn't really qualify him to give an opinion on the merits of different dishes.

It didn't matter. Heinz was now digging through the cabinet for a specific pot, obviously struck by a certain bit of inspiration that he didn't share with the monotreme. When Heinz stood and began looking through the refrigerator, Perry began to feel out of place. He didn't want to bud in, but he didn't want to spend the evening standing in the kitchen getting in the cook's way, either.

"Vanessa!" the scientist called out suddenly. No response. Heinz repeated the girl's name several more times before she removed the ear buds again.

"Yeah, Dad?" she asked dryly.

"I wondered what you were doing. Are you working on your homework?"

"No, I'm on a Nuerotoxins forum. I always save my homework for after dinner."

Heinz's face fell, and Perry knew he was conflicted. On the one hand, he didn't want to disturb Vanessa's routine and potentially irritate her. On the other hand, he didn't want her to goof around the entire time he was busy and then work on homework during precious family bonding time. He gulped when he came to a decision.

"Sweetie, don't you think it would be better if you got your homework done before dinner? Once it is out of the way, you can spend the rest of the night having fun without worrying about it."

Vanessa rolled her eyes. "It isn't a big deal, Dad. Besides, it's mostly tests and quizzes tomorrow anyway. I can just skim through my notes between class periods or something if you want to do something later. But right now I'm-"

"No." Heinz interrupted sternly. Both Perry and Vanessa blinked at him in surprise. "No, my baby girl will not put off studying for important, potentially life-altering tests just to chat on some forum or hang out with me. Not on my watch. You are going to study for your tests tomorrow until supper is ready, and that is final."

Vanessa looked stunned. Perry expected her to talk back but, after a moment, she took a deep breath and said, "Alright, fine."

"Good." the smile returned to Heinz face, and the man started chopping vegetables. "Oh, and you should let Perry the Platypus help you. I can talk a little, but I'm busy."

"Dad, I'm sure Perry has much better things to do than tutor me." Vanessa huffed. Perry chattered in disagreement.

"See, he wants to help. Perry the Platypus is really smart. He knows what he's doing."

Vanessa groaned as she pulled a chair over to her side of the table for Perry to sit in. She gave Perry a "sorry my Dad is making you do this" look, and Perry waved it off dismissively. Finally, he was going to be involved! Finally an opportunity to help!